by Cathy Sharp
‘Arthur …’ She shook her head, but tears were trickling down her cheeks. ‘I am not worthy of you.’
‘Hush, my love,’ he said and kissed her mouth softly, tenderly and then with growing intensity. ‘You are far above me – so far that I would never marry if I could not have you by my side.’
‘But Arthur, I shall not be accepted in society—’
‘Be damned to society,’ he said and held her. ‘You are the one I want and no other will do. If you will not be my wife and my friend then I shall have no one.’ He spoke with a finality that she could not doubt.
‘How could I refuse when I have always loved you?’ she said and her voice was little more than a whisper. ‘But we must wait for a few months – you must be sure …’
‘I shall not change,’ he vowed, ‘but you may have the time you need, my love. I am yours to command.’
‘Then sit here and tell me more of this new home you plan,’ Hetty said laughing up at him. He thought how beautiful she was and wondered that he had not seen it before. ‘I long to see the manor, Arthur, and I know everyone here will be so happy to know they need not continue to live here. The children are terrified of being left here and the elderly folk are unhappy.’
‘Lady Rowntree told me that she could no longer be responsible for this place and made a contribution to the purchase price. She says this house will be razed to the ground and the garden left to go wild. No one would wish to live here again after the terrible things that happened here.’
‘I know the children fear the garden where the graves were, and the old folk cross themselves whenever they look out of the window. The sooner Marta spreads the word of their new home the better.’
‘Yes, I think it will make many of them feel happier,’ Arthur said and smiled at her. ‘But do not think you can so easily turn me from my purpose. I pray you tell me you will be my wife.’
‘If you still wish it by the summer then I shall be happy to say yes,’ she said and her cheeks were pink.
‘You’re blushing,’ he teased. ‘Have you blushed before, Hetty? I think I have not seen it.’
‘You make me blush when you look at me so …’ she said and then laughed. ‘I am no shrinking violet, Arthur. I know when a man wants to lie with me – and I did not say you need wait for that.’
‘Did you not, my love?’ His hand reached for hers and he toyed with the fingers. ‘And yet I shall. You are not a whore, Hetty, you are the woman – the lady – I wish to marry and I shall not use you, though I was once too young and selfish to see you for the woman you are. I may have used you then in my selfish need, but it will not do so again.’
‘You never used me, Arthur,’ she said softly. ‘You gave me pleasure and respect even then. Why do you think I never took anyone after you? I decided that no other man would do and I made my own way, even though it was hard at times.’
‘Hetty …’ He held her close but made no attempt to kiss her or force her surrender. She must come to him because she chose and for no other reason.
‘Give me a little time, Arthur. I want us both to be sure so there are no regrets …’
‘You may have until the summer as you promised.’ He kissed the tips of her fingers. ‘More, if you need it – but I may grow impatient.’
Hetty laughed and gave him a little push. ‘You have cured my headache. Go now and see to your business, my friend.’
‘Tonight we shall dine at the inn. I shall send my carriage for you.’
Hetty smiled but did not deny him and he left her, whistling a little melody as he went outside to collect Hobbs and warn the others to keep a watchful eye. Master Brent had been captured but his wife was still unaccounted for and might be a nuisance if nothing more. Arthur felt a new lightness in his step. If he could not melt Hetty’s reserve before the summer was out then he did not deserve her!
Hannah showed Bella the address she had written. It did not look like Hannah’s own hand, but a sprawling script that Bella had not seen before. She looked at it doubtfully.
‘Do you think anyone will notice?’
‘We’ll put it in the pile and see,’ Hannah said and winked at her. ‘It can’t do any harm for I believe they’ll just take them all to the post—’ She broke off as someone came up behind her, starting in fright as a hand clenched on her shoulder. She turned and saw Matron’s eyes glaring at her.
‘And what are you two up to?’ she demanded as Hannah hid the letter in the folds of her skirt. ‘Give it to me, girl – whatever it is!’ Hannah shook her head and Matron caught her arm, dragging it round forcefully and making her cry out in pain. ‘Serves you right – now give it to me!’ She snatched the sealed paper from Hannah and noticed the wax seal. ‘You wicked girl! Stealing paper and sealing wax! Wait until the master hears of this – he will whip you until you are black and blue.’
‘It was me,’ Bella said as she saw the fear in Hannah’s eyes. ‘It was my idea. I wanted to write to a friend – someone who will come and take us away from here!’
Matron swung round, glaring at her. Her hand snapped back and slapped Bella across the face three times. Bella gasped and flinched as Matron prepared to hit her again, but just then the master’s wife came round the corner of the hall corridor, crying out for Matron to stop.
‘What is this?’ she demanded. ‘Why are you punishing that girl? What has she done wrong?’
‘She stole paper and wax – and they were planning to put a letter in your pile so that you paid for it.’
‘Give it to me,’ the master’s wife said and held out her hand. Matron hesitated and then reluctantly gave it to her. ‘Thank you. There is no crime here, Matron. I gave Bella permission to write her letter and to use the wax and to place it with the others for posting.’
Bella stared at her but said nothing, for she could not quite believe that the master’s wife had stood up for her like that and felt nervous of what was to come next.
Matron glared at her angrily, sure that the mistress was lying, but could say nothing. Instead, she marched off, every part of her bristling with temper. The master’s wife watched her go and then looked at Hannah and Bella, then down at the letter again.
‘It is a fair copy of my husband’s hand,’ she said and a gleam of amusement showed in her eyes. ‘Who did this – you, Bella – or was it Hannah?’
‘I did it, mistress,’ Hannah said and hung her head in shame. ‘Bella thought her friend might find us work we liked – and Matron had taken my privileges from me …’ she faltered.
‘Why was that?’
‘Because I would not do as she bade me …’ Hannah hesitated, and then blurted out, ‘She wanted me to spy on the younger ones and tell her what they do – she likes to torment them.’ Bella thought she looked as if she wanted to say more but was afraid to speak and wondered what else Hannah knew.
The master’s wife nodded, her smile fading. ‘I see – well, run along then both of you. I shall see your letter goes with the morning post. We have many desperate people needing a home and if Bella’s friend can find her a better place we shall not stop her leaving.’
Bella looked at her in surprise. She had not expected Mistress Thomas to say anything like that and she spoke without thinking. ‘This place would not be so terrible if Matron was not here!’ It was the truth, but she had not realised it until she spoke.
‘That is not for you to say,’ Mistress Thomas said and frowned. ‘I have been lenient, but the next time you want to use my husband’s property ask me. And behave yourselves, girls.’
‘Yes, Mistress Thomas,’ they said in unison and ran.
‘I did not think she would be so understanding,’ Bella said as they reached their dorms. ‘I thought she would send us to the master for punishment.’
‘The master is not too bad and his wife can be kind,’ Hannah confirmed. ‘It is Matron who makes life hard for us whenever she can.’
Bella looked at her curiously. ‘What didn’t you tell the mistress, Hannah? I knew t
here was more but you did not say …’
‘I do not know for sure but I suspect …’ Hannah said and shook her head. ‘If I accuse her of a child’s death she will swear she is innocent and how can I prove her evil when I do not know? She picks on those too young or frightened to speak, but I’ve seen bruises and the look in their eyes tells more than they dare …’
‘She ought to be stopped,’ Bella said. ‘We should tell the mistress for I think she does not like Matron.’
‘Yet she would not believe us without proof. No, we must try to keep out of her way until we can escape from here, Bella – she can make our lives hell if she chooses.’
‘I thought her hard but now I see she is wicked. This place is almost as bad as the one I grew up in.’
‘It would be all right if it were not for her,’ Hannah said fiercely. ‘We must always work wherever we go but she makes our lives miserable …’
‘I don’t mind the work,’ Bella said. ‘I’ll work hard wherever I go – but there are better places to live. It was lovely at the farm. I should like to live like that all the time and Polly was so kind to me.’
‘You were lucky. Not many people live like that, even for a short time. I remember my parents before we came here and they both died of a fever. They had worked so hard they were exhausted and stood no chance when the cholera took them.’
Bella looked at her with sympathy. ‘I’m sorry, Hannah. It must be worse for you having had parents and losing them. I never knew mine …’
‘I don’t know which is worse,’ Hannah said. ‘We’d better get in bed now because it will soon be lights out – and if Matron catches us she will be sure to whip us next time.’
They said goodnight and sought their beds. Bella’s cheek felt sore where she’d been slapped but she’d had worse hurts and she mumbled a prayer to keep both her and Hannah safe before falling asleep because she was tired.
It was dark when Bella was rudely awakened. She felt a hand shaking her shoulder and then she was roughly jerked from her bed to the floor, tumbling on to her knees. Her hands were pulled together and tied, then a gag was placed over her mouth and Matron’s voice hissed in her ear.
‘Make one sound and I’ll make you sorry, slut! I’m taking you on a little trip and if you dare breathe a word I shall kill you …’
Bella was terrified and shaking with cold as Matron prodded her in the back with something hard. She wore only her nightgown as Matron took her along the hall and down the stairs. At the bottom, she was pushed across the hall and outside and then through the courtyard. Her feet hurt because the stones were sharp and she had no shoes. When they reached an old shed, Matron unlocked the door and pushed her inside. She followed her in and lit a candle, holding it in front of Bella’s face. The floor was bare earth and the walls were stout wood and hung with cobwebs.
‘You will stay here until you are ready to beg my pardon on your knees,’ she said. ‘You told the master’s wife that I mistreated you and Hannah – and I’ve been warned. Me! My reputation besmirched!’ She shook her fist at Bella, her face twisting with spite and anger. ‘Now, I’m warning you. Speak of this again and you’ll disappear forever next time!’
She went to the door and began to close it. Bella cried out, ‘Don’t leave me in here alone!’
‘It’s what you deserve. Next time keep your mouth shut when the master’s wife speaks to you.’
‘I don’t like being in the dark – and it’s cold,’ Bella protested.
‘Then you know what you’ll get if you disobey me again.’ Matron laughed cruelly, pulled the door closed behind her and locked it.
Bella tugged at it and shouted but it would not budge. She could see nothing at first because there was only one tiny window at the top but after a while she saw that the shed was filled with sacks and garden tools and she looked for something that might help her to get out but when she tugged at the door handle it came off in her hand and she burst into tears. There was no way she could get out without the key so she must stay here until Matron released her.
She sat on a pile of fusty sacks and pulled one over her lap and another round her shoulders, her bound hands clumsy. Her teeth were chattering with the cold and she was frightened but if she screamed no one would hear her this far from the house. Tears trickled down her cheeks as she sat and thought about her life.
Wherever she went all she got from those meant to look after her was harsh words and punishment; she might as well be dead. She felt lonely and unwanted. It might have been better if she had died in the snow with her mother. Even Polly had let her husband give Bella to the master here.
For a moment Bella felt the weight of all the pain and misery that had been heaped on her and wished she might die, for at least then her suffering would be over. She hung her head, almost ready to give in to the despair that overwhelmed her. Then, suddenly, she started to feel angry at Matron’s spiteful act and she lifted her head. She’d been told that Matron liked to torment the young ones but now saw for herself that she was wicked. Bella would not just give in to her spite. She would fight and she would live – and one day she’d see that horrible woman punished. If no one stood up to her, Matron would continue to hurt and punish other young girls. Bella wouldn’t let her win!
Jumping up she began to walk backwards and forwards as quickly as she could to get warm and, as she paced, she recited the alphabet over and over and over again. She would live through this bitter night. She would get away from this place and she would make a better life somewhere …
CHAPTER 20
‘You dined with Mr Stoneham last evening,’ Meg said when Hetty met her at breakfast. Her look was petulant as if she felt she had been ignored. ‘I should have liked to ask him if he had any news of Toby – I mean, Mr Rattan.’
‘I did ask but he said he had heard nothing. I would have told you at once if any news had come,’ Hetty said apologetically. She knew that Meg was upset because Toby had sent no word and she’d hoped that he would return and bring her child to her. To Meg it must seem that he had been gone ages. ‘I am sure he will come as soon as he can, Meg. He is trying to help you.’
‘I know.’ Meg gave a little sob. ‘I should not be sharp with you, dearest Hetty. You have been so kind to me – and Mr Stoneham has done so much for me. I should not have lived if it were not for him, for I would have died of cold the night he found me – but I cannot forget my child.’ Tears trickled down her cheeks and she brushed them away.
‘It is hard for you, Meg. I do understand,’ Hetty sympathised. ‘To have your child stolen from you is unfair and painful, but I am sure Toby will bring news as soon as he is able.’
‘Yes, I know.’ Meg sipped her tea and crumbled a piece of buttered muffin on her plate. ‘You look happier today, Hetty – do you have news yourself?’
‘Nothing is settled …’ Hetty’s cheeks were warm as Meg looked at her and then she laughed. ‘I may as well tell you, for I am not sure I can keep it a secret. Arthur wants me to wed him. I have not given my answer yet but …’
‘Oh, you will – you must!’ Meg said and smiled. ‘You are perfect for each other!’ She jumped up and came round the breakfast table to embrace Hetty. ‘I am so happy for you. Really, I am.’
‘Thank you,’ Hetty said. ‘I daresay I shall give my promise for it seems churlish not to – and yet I still feel that I am not worthy of such a man or the place in society it will give me.’
‘If that is all, do not give it a second thought,’ Meg said. ‘Few in society could equal Arthur Stoneham. There are many men who bear the title of gentleman who do not deserve it, and ladies who have not one half of your wit or intelligence. You will help him with his work and comfort him – that is all any woman may do for such a man.’
‘Yes, I suppose you are right.’ Hetty was thoughtful.
‘Have you heard anything of that child Bella?’ Meg asked, and frowned. ‘I do not forget her even though I have my own cares. She was good to me when I lay ill after givin
g birth and I hope that Arthur will help her.’
‘I am sure he will if he can,’ Hetty said and smiled at her. ‘I believe he has discovered where she might be and he is going to see someone this morning – perhaps he will bring her back to us, Meg. She will be surprised at the changes here …’
‘Oh, sir,’ Polly said and curtsied nervously to Arthur when she answered the door of the farm kitchen and he told her he was looking for Bella. Her hands were covered in flour for she was midway through her baking and she invited him in. ‘If only I’d known you was looking for her. We daresn’t keep her – not from that brute, her master. He would have made us pay him more than we had.’
‘Karl Brett is no longer Bella’s master,’ Arthur said, ‘so if you know where she is I shall be most grateful for any news of her whereabouts.’
‘I loved her like the daughter I never had,’ Polly told him. ‘Farmer Green took her to the workhouse just outside Alton, sir. He visited the market there to sell produce and asked if Master Thomas would take her in. He listened to her story and said that he would make sure she came to no harm – but I miss her, sir, and that’s the truth.’
‘Would you have kept her if you could?’
‘Aye, sir. Farmer Green was sorry to see her go for he knew it upset me – but we don’t own our land and we couldn’t afford her price.’
Arthur nodded. ‘We shall see what Bella has to say,’ he promised. ‘I’ll not keep you from your baking, goodwife. I daresay we shall meet again.’
Arthur left the warm kitchen. The wind was bitterly cold as it whipped across the fields and he approached the agent he had left outside with his groom and their horses.
‘Towards Alton, sir?’
‘Yes. I think my quest may be nearing its end at last. Mistress Green tells me her husband took Bella to the workhouse near there.’ Arthur sighed with relief. He hoped to rescue Bella and take her back to Hetty and Meg, ready to move with the rest of her friends to the manor. Bella could be given a choice. She could live with Hetty, become part of the life at the manor – or return to Polly Green and her husband. He believed that Farmer Green’s wife would be more than willing to take her back for a gift of money to set them on their feet. By the end of the day Bella’s future would be decided and he could turn his thoughts to his own concerns. A smile touched his mouth as he considered the future and the way he intended to woo his love. Now that he had discovered what had been under his nose all these years, he was impatient to show Hetty all the consideration and love that she had given him so unselfishly.
