“You did, you forced her—”
“The truth is your mother didn’t love you enough to stick around. If she had, she never would’ve jumped.”
“You brutalized her, took advantage of a woman with mental illness, and never acknowledged Sara as your daughter. She was. She was your daughter and you never loved her because she wasn’t perfect in your eyes. You’re an asshole, Derek, and their deaths are on your dirty hands.”
He shrugged, standing slowly, walking toward her. She held her ground. “What are you going to do, Kate? Maybe you can go stand in the corner and cry? Maybe you can wring your hands together until they bleed because you’re such a little coward. You’re so pathetic I won’t even need to duct tape your mouth shut.”
Acid churned choppily inside her stomach until she was almost certain she’d throw up. She tried to focus on his face, on this moment that she had fantasized about. She was able to confront this man now as an equal. She was an adult and she was finally able to call him out. “I’m not a little girl anymore, but you’re still a murderer. Because of you, I don’t have a mother or a sister.”
He moved rapidly, pinning her against the wall, his hands on her throat. “I never wanted to hurt you. That wasn’t my plan tonight. I wanted to come here and tell you to back off Matt.”
“You wanted to shut me up,” she hissed, silenced as his hands pressed on her windpipe painfully.
“I’m not leaving until you shut up and stay away from Matt. I want that job and I’m not going to have you ruining everything for me. When I finish telling him my version of what happened, he’ll want nothing to do with you.”
“What’s your version? How you took advantage of a vulnerable woman? You berated her and blamed her for giving you a baby with Down’s syndrome? You accused her of sleeping around? Sara was your baby. Your child, and you didn’t deserve her. You didn’t deserve either of them. You drove my mother to suicide.”
“Shut up!”
“No, never. You will never shut me up again.”
“What, you think because you’re grown up you can take me on? You’re just as pathetic as you were when you were a whiny little girl. You think that stupid kid you adopted is going to bring back your sister?”
She dug her nails into his skin as hard as she could, wanted to cause enough pain that he’d have to let her go, but instead he dug his hands harder, until her breath was caught and tears she refused to let fall filled her eyes.
He leaned down, breathing heavily, and she twisted her face away as he pressed his lips into her ear. “We’re alone. There’s no one here. There’re lots of ways to shut you up, just like with your mom. What are you going to do now, Kate? You’re so tough. What are you going to do? Beat me up?”
“No, I am.”
Matt’s deep, furious voice rang out. Suddenly, Derek’s weight on her body, her soul, was lifted as Matt bulldozed him into the staircase. She shut her eyes and stifled the cry of freedom she wanted to shout out. How many times had she wanted someone to swoop in and rescue her? How many times had she prayed that someone would believe her? She had lost count, had stopped remembering. The number of times adults betrayed her had shattered her child self, and her adult self.
Matt knew nothing about what had happened. She hadn’t let him in, she hadn’t trusted him with her truths, but he was here now. He’d chosen her over Derek. He believed her without even asking for an explanation.
…
Matt heard his fist crack his friend’s jaw, and he pulled back slightly. He held his mentor, his friend, pinned against the wall and tried to take a breath, tried to be rational, but he couldn’t. He’d lost track of how many times he’d hit him. He’d lost track of where Kate was, he’d lost track of everything except the rage that kept his adrenaline high.
He’d pieced it all together, between the details from Liam regarding Kate’s mother’s and sister’s deaths and Kate’s reaction to Derek. He didn’t need to know the rest of the details to know that he’d been an idiot to ever trust this man.
“Matt, son…”
“I’m not your son, you are nothing to me.”
“She’s lying,” Derek said, pausing to spit blood out of his mouth. “She’s a lying, filthy whore and—”
He cut off Derek’s words by slamming his head against the wall.
“Shit, Matt. Good enough, we don’t want him to have to go to the hospital.” He tore his eyes from Derek’s face to look at Liam. He didn’t even know when his friend had gotten here.
“Let go, I’ll take it from here,” Liam said, prying his hands off Derek. Derek slumped to the ground. Liam’s face was grim as he pulled Derek back up to his feet.
“What do you want me to do with him?”
Matt tried to catch his breath, tried to focus. “Take him to his apartment. Let him pack a bag, clean himself up and then put him on a bus out of the province.”
“Derek,” Matt yelled, shaking him until he opened his eyes. “You get the hell out of the province, you come anywhere near us and you’re a dead man.” Derek winced and shut his eyes. “Understand?” Matt yelled.
Derek slowly nodded.
Liam clasped Matt’s shoulder. “You okay?”
Matt nodded, trying to let some of his rage drain out of him. Liam looked over his shoulder and he nodded at Kate before leaving the house.
Matt forced himself to calm down, to let go of some of his rage before he turned around to face Kate. He clenched his hands, stuffed them in his pockets, and slowly turned around.
She was standing in the hallway, still, white, and looking so unlike the tough girl he’d nicknamed her. She looked small and afraid and it made him angry all over again. Tears streamed down her cheeks and her hair was a mess, tangled from where that bastard had touched her. He stood there, and it was one of the very few moments in his life where he didn’t know what the hell he should do. He wanted to walk up to her and hold her forever. But he didn’t know how she’d react. Right now, she looked scared and small and it made him so damn pissed to see that.
“Matt,” she whispered and then she was running to him. He held her hard against him, willing her to feel safe, loved.
“I came here to tell you I was sorry,” she whispered against his chest. “To thank you.”
“I’m sorry I wasn’t here,” he said against her hair.
Her hands dug into his sides and he knew she was struggling for control.
“Come on,” he said, slowly pulling her into the family room. He sat her on the couch. He pulled the blanket from the back of the couch, feeling how cold she was. “I’m going to light the fire and get us a drink,” he said, walking around the room. She didn’t say a word. Minutes later he was back in the room, the fireplace on.
“Here, sweetheart,” Matt said, handing Kate a glass of whiskey. He sat down, wrapping her up in his arms, not ever wanting to let her go.
Tonight had been filled with revelations. He knew in his gut that he loved Kate, but it wasn’t until he walked into his home to find Derek with his hands on her that he knew the extent of his love for her. At that moment, all that mattered was Kate, and he’d been willing to do anything.
She leaned back against him with a sigh. “Your limp is back,” she whispered. He kissed her neck, taking a sip from the glass they shared.
“I’m okay,” he said roughly. “I’m also feeling like an asshole for not knowing about Derek. I almost got here too late.”
“How could you know? I didn’t tell you a thing.”
“I ran that background check on Derek, and yeah, nothing came up. But Liam did some digging, called in some trusted contacts and started piecing together quite the story. That’s why I walked out tonight. Liam called and I needed to hear it. Then when I came back in, you were gone and so was Derek.”
She looked down and held out her hand for the glass, finishing off the contents. “I didn’t know he was there,” she whispered.
“Why did you come here?”
“I wanted to be
with you. I was coming here to tell you how much I missed you and I wanted to tell you everything,” she said in a small voice that tore at him.
He kissed the top of her head and waited.
“It’s not something I talk about, with anyone, but I should have been honest with you, I should have trusted you. I, uh, I was shut down a lot as a child when I would try and explain what was happening at home. And even though I know it’s irrational and that I’m an adult now, a part of me thinks no one will believe me.” She turned in his arms, to look at him, her knees tucked up to her chest. Her green eyes met his gaze, punched him in the gut with something that looked a helluva lot like love shining in them. “You believed me without knowing a thing.”
He leaned down to kiss her, slowly, gently, and then pulled back before they both got distracted. He wanted to know all of it, all the missing pieces about her. He moved her hair back, kissed her neck and whispered, “I’ll always believe you.”
She leaned back into him, and he knew the trust she must have in him now. “My mother and father had a good marriage. Not a lot of money, but they were young and in love and none of that seemed to matter, until he died of a massive heart attack. I was only six and, honestly, I barely remember him, but I do have a distinct memory of being happy. My mom struggled for a year…and then she met Derek, this big, burly cop who promised her everything. I don’t blame her for choosing him. He got her when she was at a low point. They got married and everything was fine, he was even decent to me. And then a few months later the real Derek started coming home. What’s that expression, about a wolf in sheep’s clothing? Yeah. Little things would set him off like dinner not being ready on time, if I left my toys out in the family room, if there wasn’t any beer in the fridge. I hated him so much, Matt.”
He put his chin on her shoulder, hugging her tighter, wanting to reach out to that little girl who had lost her mother. He knew the kind of abuse she was talking about. This part of their childhoods was, sadly, very similar.
“Then she got pregnant. He was happy, but it still didn’t stop him from knocking her around. I remember pleading with her to leave. I told her I could drop out of school and get a job. What job an eight-year-old could get is beyond me,” she said with a little laugh. “But no, she was trapped. She wouldn’t leave. And then my little sister, Sara, was born. She was perfect, but she had Down’s syndrome. Derek was so angry. He said the most awful things to my mother. He accused her of sleeping around, claiming he never could have fathered a child like Sara. He wore her down. Pretty soon, I barely recognized my mother anymore. There were some days I’d get a glimmer of the mom she was before. We’d go for walks with Sara or read stories…and then when I was fifteen…” She took a long, shaky breath and put her head on her knees.
“She killed herself, Matt, and she took Sara with her. She told me that morning that I was invincible, and then she was gone.”
Matt shut his eyes. He had seen a lot of shit. Shit that still turned his stomach. He knew all about the disgusting people in the world, the truly evil scum that made you not care whether they lived or died. If they died you’d have the safety of knowing they were gone, and if they lived, but were behind bars, you’d have the satisfaction of knowing the rest of their life was going to be crap. But as a cop, as a person hearing a news story, you were a few degrees removed and you could drink yourself under the table until you were numb. But knowing the person you loved had lived through this kind of thing…there was no alcohol that took away the ache.
“I think she took Sara because she knew…she was afraid of what would happen to her.” Her words were muffled and he smoothed her hair, trying to come up with anything that would sound remotely helpful, but he knew nothing could help.
“What happened to you?”
She shrugged. “I ran away. I stole three hundred dollars from the envelope I knew Derek kept under his mattress. I stuffed my backpack with the essentials and I was gone. I couldn’t live with him. As far as I was concerned, he was a murderer. I don’t care that they called it suicide. He murdered her. Slowly. Every day. From the inside out, he killed her.”
Matt blinked against the moisture in his eyes. Hell.
“I hid at some friends’ houses, the friends whose parents were never around. Then I just took off one day. After a while I walked into a shelter and I met Cara and Alex, both as scared and quiet as me. I’ll never forget that long table in the dining room of that old house. The three of us made eye contact and something happened. I couldn’t explain it, why I felt this insane connection to them, but it was there, in their eyes. It was like I had found family. I never thought I’d have a family again, until that day.
We became best friends. We all stayed there together for a few years, but then we were separated. We made a pact to stay in touch, to live together one day, and to adopt some kids in need. I saw school as my quick ticket to a good paying job. All I did in those group homes was study. I finished high school a year early, got a full scholarship, and did my undergrad early as well. I was so focused on getting to the end game, I couldn’t have cared less about the whole university experience.”
“I wish I’d known you then.”
“You wouldn’t have stood a chance.”
He laughed softly as he kissed her neck. “I have my ways. I can be very persuasive, especially when I want something badly. And you, you I want very badly. Not just in bed, or for a day here and there, but for forever. You. Janie. A family. I want it with you. I swore I’d never do it again, but with you I will. I’d do anything for you. I love you.”
Kate stared at him, then placed her hand on his strong jaw, needing to feel him, to make certain he was real. “When I was little I’d dream about a family of my own, and then I just sort of gave up on that, on believing in the good guy. I thought they didn’t exist, but they do. You do. You’re the good guy. The best. I love you, Matt.”
“You’ll always have a home with me. You’ll always be safe with me. We’ll figure out what we’re going to do about Derek.”
“I don’t want to deal with him. I don’t want to think about him.”
Matt didn’t say anything. She’d been through enough tonight, but he knew they’d have to look at options. At the end of the day, he wanted her to feel safe, whatever the cost.
“You know when I got mad at you for defending Janie at the restaurant?”
“Yeah?”
“I was envious of you. I love that you don’t care what people think, that you don’t stop and worry. You act. When people you care about are hurt, you act. I think it just made me so aware that I have failed in that department. Sometimes it would feel like Derek had duct tape on my mouth, that it was safer to stay quiet.”
His arms constricted, keeping her close. “I learned how to defend people at a young age. We had different ways. Don’t ever beat yourself up. You’ve got guts, Kate, you’re stubborn as hell, and you’re going to conquer the last of your fears. You can practice yelling at me,” he said, smiling at the sound of her laughter.
“We can practice lots of things,” she said, turning now to look at him. And then she did that thing when she framed his face with her soft hands. She looked tired, spent, but she looked loved. She looked beautiful.
He leaned forward and captured her mouth in a kiss that took them both far away from the kids they once were, from the pain they had lived through. He kissed her with the promise of forever. He tasted the woman he’d wanted from the moment he’d laid eyes on her and she tasted so damn sweet, so damn perfect that he held on tighter. She was the woman made for him, and he loved her in a way that was all-consuming. She and Janie brought out the good in him. She believed in him.
Kate completed every missing piece of him; she made him a better man. Kate was in his blood, she was his soul.
Epilogue
Matt stood on the porch, his hand on the doorknob. He couldn’t go in just yet. He stood and watched his family inside the empty house. He gripped the edges of the paper take-out bag
s in his hands and tried to forget the meeting he’d just come from.
But he couldn’t, because all those women inside the house were his family. Hell, he’d had a hard enough time with just his mother and sister, but now…it was all of them. Kate, her sisters, the kids. He’d do anything for them. For Kate, for Janie. They had given him everything. Kate had given him all of her, and he knew no woman would ever be able to touch him the way she had.
He had thought the bullshit was all gone, all the threats to their happiness gone, but he had gotten some crazy-ass news about Alex and her little girl. Shit, it would send her and her daughter’s life in an entirely new direction if it was true.
How the hell was he going to tell them?
The door swung open, the woman on the other side of it evoking a rush of love and desire every single time he saw her. “It’s about time you got here, detective.”
He grinned at her and then hauled her out onto the porch for a moment of privacy. She wrapped her arms around his neck and kissed him.
“What’s the earliest acceptable time to leave?” he whispered against her lips.
“We’re out of luck tonight. We’ll be here late. What’s that delicious smell?”
He reluctantly pulled himself away and picked up the bag of abandoned takeout. “Let’s go inside.” The news he had wasn’t forgotten, but as he walked into the house and looked at the women, he knew he couldn’t do this tonight. Tomorrow.
…
“I got poutine for all of us.”
Matt’s statement was met with a round of complaints and groans. Kate laughed and slapped a kiss on his mouth that lasted a tad longer than it should have, considering the audience.
They—Alex, Cara, the girls, and Matt’s mother and sister—were all hard at work in the new Still Harbor House for Women and Children. She knew this wouldn’t have happened, this fast, this early, without Matt. It was only mid-November and they had taken possession of the house. Despite the fact that it needed a lot of work, it was a major step.
Falling for the P.I. Page 15
