Still, she signed the contract, considered it as a down payment on a house. No more apartments for her and Jazi.
She’d never expected he’d push a contract on the band.
Why had he? Ryan said Jethro had a thing about people getting credit for their work, but the situation had been so informal she’d had no expectation of receiving any credit. Plus the band sang for Pinnacle’s label. It seemed odd he’d put her welfare above the band’s.
Unless he cared for her.
Which brought her back to the one question she kept shying away from. Did they have a future together? Could her dream become a reality?
A month ago she would have panicked at the thought of giving up her independence. Taking on Jazi didn’t count because Lexi remained in control. She got to make all their life decisions. At least until Jazi got older. Allowing a man into the mix was a whole different matter. Especially one who was overly protective and used to taking charge.
Now she panicked at the thought of leaving.
She wondered if he still felt the same way about not having a family now that he knew what it felt like to have one.
Did no response mean he didn’t want to talk or was he just busy?
Lexi chewed her lower lip, torn between the need to know what last night meant to him and proceeding cautiously. The last thing she wanted was to make Jethro second-guess his agreement to let her have Jazi. If she suggested mutual custody, he might take it as an opportunity to take back full custody. And then she’d lose both of them.
Ryan’s mention of Thanksgiving prompted the realization that the holiday was only a few days away. Traditionally people spent the day with friends or family or both. She and Alliyah always made a point of inviting other dancers also away from their families.
Would Jethro spend the day with his family or with her and Jazi?
She rubbed her shirt right over her heart, surprised by how important the question was.
It would be nice if they could all celebrate the day together. His foster brothers were curious about Jazi. Jackson stopped by one day on the pretext of looking for Jethro. He actually got to see Jazi, though she’d been down for her nap. And now Ryan had found a reason to come to the penthouse. And of course Clay had become one of Jazi’s favorite people.
They were Jethro’s brothers and after hearing his story, she knew what that meant. Lexi longed to get to know them better. And for them to get to know Jazi.
But Jethro had looked grim when she’d mentioned Jackson’s visit, and he’d made it clear he preferred to keep the two sides of his family separate. Lexi understood he was trying to save heartache for all concerned.
Maybe that was the answer to her dilemma. If he asked her to join him and his friends for Thanksgiving, she’d know he was open to a relationship.
* * *
Jethro tapped his pen against his desk. Rage roiled under the surface of his calm facade. Fury at himself for allowing temptation to win over his will, an unwanted distraction when he needed to be at his sharpest.
Luckily he had Jackson’s assistant, Sierra, to help him throughout the day. A Harvard attorney, she made the Fabulous Four look good. She lived in the hotel and had been the one to take the call from the New York office.
He wasn’t purposely dodging Lexi’s texts. He needed his focus to deal with the distribution issue in New York. Pinnacle had a new game releasing on Thanksgiving. They’d chosen the date to maximize sales on Black Friday. The problem with their distribution center had the power to negate those sales if he didn’t resolve it in the next two days.
After his third two-hour call, he could no longer deny the need to fly to New York. Part of him experienced relief at having a reason to get away for a few days. It would give him time to think about what had happened and what he wanted to do. The other half of him hated to lose even a moment of his time with Lexi and Jazi.
Waking up with Lexi in his arms rated as the sweetest moment of his life except now he’d have the taste of her in his head for the rest of his life.
He’d wanted her from the minute she’d walked up to the bar in The Beacon. Setting up house with her under those circumstances boardered on insanity. He might fool others with the excuse that he needed to be sure Jazi would be safe, but he knew the truth. He’d been indulging himself, pretending he was part of something special, the family he’d never have.
He didn’t deserve it, but he’d wanted the time with his daughter. And Lexi.
He’d known from the beginning he’d need to control himself. To keep it in his pants.
So much for his famed self-discipline.
“I’ll make our flight arrangements. Jet or commercial?” Sierra closed her portfolio.
“Jet.” He hated to pull the pilot and crew from their vacations, but they were paid to be on call and the situation warranted it. “There’s no need for you to go and ruin your time off.”
“It’s okay,” she assured him. “I’ll visit family.”
Something in her tone brought his attention around to her. “Everything okay? You don’t sound too enthusiastic.”
She sighed. “It’s complicated. I wasn’t going to go this year, but this seems to be a sign I should.”
“You don’t believe in signs.”
She gave a half laugh. “Not usually, no.” Then she changed the subject. “Should I leave the return date open?”
“No. Whatever happens with distribution, good or bad, we’ll be back for Thanksgiving.”
“Works for me.” Her fingers flew over her phone as she texted the pilot. “I’ve been looking forward to a traditional turkey dinner at Jackson and Grace’s new house.”
“Yeah.” The couple had invited the group, including Lexi and Jazi, to join them for the holiday.
Jethro had yet to make up his mind on whether he’d attend or spend the day at home. He’d like nothing better than to bring Lexi and his daughter with him to the celebration, but he couldn’t—wouldn’t—do that to himself or his friends. Once Jazi left his life, every future Thanksgiving would be haunted by the memory of the one holiday he got to spend with his daughter.
Sierra’s phone pinged and she announced, “Wheels up in an hour. Meet you downstairs in thirty minutes?”
Didn’t leave much time to pack and say goodbye. “Perfect.”
* * *
Rocked by Jethro’s news, Lexi followed him down the hall. “Thirty minutes isn’t long to pack. You should have called me.” She turned into her room, her mind already occupied with what to take.
“You’re not going.” Jethro stood in her doorway.
She swung to face him. “I thought you wanted Jazi and me to travel with you.”
“Not this time. There’s no point. I’ll be tied up in meetings until this is resolved.” His features were set in hard lines.
“Oh.” She should be relieved. Instead she fretted at the timing of his absence.
He headed for his room. She followed, watched as he pulled down a suitcase in his closet.
“I was hoping we could talk.”
“We will.” He assured her. “When I get back.”
She crossed her arms over her chest. Why wasn’t she reassured by his promise? “How long will you be gone?”
“I’ll be back for Thanksgiving.” He packed quickly and methodically.
Some of her tension eased. At least he wasn’t skipping out on the holiday. “Good. What are we going to do? Shall I plan to cook?”
“I’ll let you know.” He zipped his bag and set it on its wheels. And then he was in front of her.
She placed a hand on his heart. He was dressed in jeans and a lightweight black sweater. “You’re leaving already?”
“I want to stop by the nursery and say goodbye to Jazi.” He cupped her cheek. “Will you miss me?”
> “Maybe. Probably.” She lowered her eyes. “A lot.” His lips caressed her forehead. “Will you think of me?”
He made a sound low in his throat. “Too much.” Lifting her chin on the edge of his hand, he claimed her mouth in a long, hard kiss. “I’ll call you.” And then he was gone.
Weak-kneed, she dropped to the floor and buried her face in her hands. As far as goodbyes went, it left her breathless. If only it didn’t feel so final.
* * *
Ten minutes later a knock sounded at the door. Lexi swiped at her cheeks and climbed to her feet.
She opened the door to Velveth and a totally distraught Jazi. The woman gave Lexi an apologetic look as she cradled Jazi to her slim chest. “Mr. Calder wanted to bring her up, but I convinced him it was better not to prolong the farewell.”
“Of course.” Guilt slammed into Lexi. Some mother she was, moping in self-pity when her daughter was suffering. She should have considered how upset Jazi would get hearing another goodbye when she’d already lost her mother, Lexi, and Diana and family. She was too young to understand the difference between a temporary parting and a permanent one.
And Lexi was old enough to know it was just a matter of time.
“Mama!” Jazi reacted to the sound of Lexi’s voice by launching herself out of Velveth’s arms and into Lexi’s. Little arms wrapped around her neck while sobs racked her tiny frame. “Daddy, bye-bye!”
The words stopped Lexi cold. Her heart clenched. First because it thrilled her to be called Mama. It implied a long-term acceptance that validated the connection between them. But her use of Daddy concerned Lexi for the same reason. Especially under the circumstances.
She cleared her throat. “I know baby, he’ll be back.”
Jazi just cried harder.
Sympathy stamped the nursery manager’s soft features. “Mr. Calder looked as devastated as she is when he left. He’s quite devoted. He comes to watch her play every day.”
“Every day?”
Velveth nodded, her short black hair flowing to and fro with the gesture. The nursery manager placed her hand softly on Jazi’s back for a moment and then turned and left.
Lexi cuddled her daughter close and turned into the apartment. She carried her to her room, climbed into bed with her and pulled the throw over them. She hummed softly, determined to be strong for her daughter.
CHAPTER THIRTEEN
TWO DAYS WENT BY. Lexi sat in Jazi’s room with the fish book in her lap. She watched Jazi play and brooded about not hearing from Jethro beyond exchanging a few texts.
She supposed she should be happy he was making headway with the distributors, but she’d prefer to know what he planned for Thanksgiving.
Giving up on getting a direct answer from him, she’d decided earlier that she and Jazi deserved a turkey dinner regardless if Jethro joined them or not, so she’d made up a shopping list and sent it to Brennan. She couldn’t dredge up the enthusiasm to shop when she knew she’d spend the whole trip pouting or brooding. Or hounding Clay for details of the Fabulous Four’s holiday plans.
She’d save herself that humiliation thank you very much.
She looked up to see Jazi had dragged a stool over to the dresser and she held the fish food in her hand.
“No, pumpkin, we already fed Fishy.”
“More.”
“More will make him sick.” Lexi took the fish food away. She tapped the bowl. “Say, Hi, Fishy.”
“Hi, Fishy.” Jazi hopped down, ran out of the room. She came back a moment later with Lexi’s phone. “Mama.” She handed the phone to Lexi. “Daddy. Say hi.”
Lexi closed her eyes briefly. She was still calling Jethro Daddy. Nothing Lexi said dissuaded her. In fact, if Lexi pushed too hard, Jazi went into another weeping fit.
“He’ll be home tomorrow.” She set the phone down on the book.
“Tomorrow?” the girl parroted as if she knew what it meant.
“Yes, after you go to sleep and then wake up, he’ll be home.” But would it be to stay?
These past few days had convinced Lexi of the need for a change. She loved Jethro and the more she contemplated their time together, the more she believed he’d changed. He hadn’t wanted a family. Because of his past, he believed he wasn’t worthy of one.
“Daddy!” Jazi insisted, pushing the phone toward Lexi.
He couldn’t be more wrong. As his daughter’s demand illustrated.
He may be stoic in nature and protective of his privacy, but he’d put Jazi’s needs first over and over. And he’d done everything possible to make Lexi feel welcome and comfortable.
She’d never felt more cherished in a man’s arms. There was a difference between making out and making love. And she’d been well loved. Both raw and elemental, the connection between them burned so deep it touched her soul forever imprinting his essence within her.
“Okay.” She picked up the phone and hit the speed dial for Jethro. Expecting it to go to voice mail the same as the other times she called, she put it on speaker for Jazi to hear. “But Jethro’s very busy, baby. He may not be able to talk to us.”
Uncaring of the warning, Jazi climbed into her lap as the phone rang.
“Hey,” his deep voice came on the line. “I’m headed into another meeting so I only have a couple of minutes. It looks like we’ll have to burn the midnight oil to get this resolved. I may not be back until Thanksgiving.”
“Daddy!” Jazi grabbed the phone. “Hi!”
A brief moment of silence followed.
Lexi wished she could have warned him. “Someone has been missing you. She insisted we call to say hi.”
“Hey, Jazi.” The words were gravel rough. A rumbling sounded on the other end, perhaps the clearing of his throat. His voice was clearer when he continued. “I miss you too.”
Encouraged, Jazi chattered on. Her vocabulary suffered under her enthusiasm, so only a few words made sense. But Jethro engaged her with questions and she rattled out answers until he indicated it was time for him to go.
Her response was more than clear. “Love you.”
“Baby.” The gravel was back. “I miss you both. I...I’ll see you soon.”
* * *
Lexi woke on Thanksgiving to a sunny day in Las Vegas. Sliding into her robe she went down the hall to see if Jethro made it home. She gave his door a brief knock and opened it. The room was empty.
Disappointed, she checked her phone. There was a text from him advising his flight was delayed due to storms in New York.
She checked the weather in New York and found forecasts for thunderstorms for the whole day. She hoped he somehow found a way out. Jazi would be very disappointed if he didn’t make it home.
Who was she fooling? She’d be disappointed if he didn’t make it home.
She hopped into the shower and then dressed. She peeked in on Jazi and decided to let her sleep. Over her first cup of coffee, Lexi saw she’d missed a call from Jethro. He’d left a voice mail that was garbled and a bit broken up.
“We just got appr...for liftoff. Wanted to talk...you...but...can’t wait...storms. Clay will...going... Jackson’s...bye.”
Okay, that was as clear as jelly beans. She played it again and learned nothing more. The call came in a little before nine and the flight was about three hours, plus an hour to get home from the landing site, which would put him home around one.
But was he coming here or going to Jackson’s?
And what was Clay doing?
She knew no more now than she had before. Back to waiting.
She sipped her coffee and tried not to let it get to her. Tried not to worry that he preferred to spend the day with his friends than with her and Jazi. Tried to pretend everything was fine. Tried and failed. Add frustration to worry, longing, hope.
She could call Clay, but she imagined how pathetic she’d sound and decided against that conversation.
So she got busy instead. She pulled out apples, sugar and flour and began paring. She’d start dinner by making dessert. The apple pie sat cooling on the counter when she heard Jazi stirring.
Lexi got her up and dressed while fending off questions of when Daddy would be home.
“He’s on his way but it takes a long time to fly from New York to here.”
“Long time?”
“Yes. Hours and hours.” How did you explain time to a two-year-old? “He’ll be here later.”
“Later? Daddy come later?”
“Yep, later. Are you hungry?”
She looked so sad, Lexi lifted her up and pretended to eat her tummy. The childish giggles soothed her own sadness.
“I’m hungry.” She ate some more tummy.
“Stop!” Jazi tried to push her shirt down so Lexi couldn’t get to her belly. “I hungry.”
“You’re hungry?” She met Jazi’s laughing blue gaze. “Do you want tummy for breakfast or pancakes?”
“Pancakes.” Jazi clapped her hands.
Happy she’d distracted the child, Lexi carried her to the kitchen. “Mama wants pancakes too.”
* * *
A little before eleven a knock sounded at the door.
“Daddy!” Jazi raced to get there before Lexi.
“No, baby. Daddy will come later.”
She glanced through the peephole, warned herself not to get her hopes up and opened the door to Clay. “Hi.”
“Clay!” Jazi wrapped herself around his leg.
He looked down at her and then up at Lexi obviously bemused by the show of affection.
She shrugged. “She likes you.”
“She does?”
“Oh, yeah. She thinks you’re funny.”
His brow wrinkled as his bemusement increased. “All I do is drive you.”
She lifted a brow. “Have you heard yourself when you drive? Plus, you call her jelly bean.”
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