The Need

by Bilinda Ni Siodacain

  “Oh...” I continued to fix the covers on the bed as she studied me carefully.

  “I’m not lying to you Aisling. I have no reason to. You saw the hunters and what they are like...” As her voice broke, I sat down on the bed opposite her.

  “It’s not that I think you’re lying as such... I just don’t see how Jon and I fit into anything. Yeah I get that Jon is powerful but I’m not. God I can’t even kiss him without getting frazzled. That’s not exactly the sign of someone very powerful or part of some great prophecy. As much as I hate to say it, I think you have the wrong girl.”

  Her laugh slithered down over my skin like a strange caress and goose bumps lifted across the back of my arms. Quickly I scrubbed my hands over them trying to get rid of the strange sensation.

  “Aisling, do you remember when Jon wasn’t so powerful... He was just like you, almost normal but still not quite right and still able to do things that are outside normal capabilities.”

  “Yeah, I remember.”

  “Well did you think he was going to change so much on his twenty-first birthday?”

  I sat deep in thought for a few moments before answering her. “No I don’t suppose I did. So does that mean that I’ll change like that to?”

  Natasha quirked her eyebrow as she stared at me. “You really need to ask that?”

  “Of course I do, I don’t understand anything that is going on. I know I love Jon but after that I don’t know anything. I feel so confused.”

  Carefully she reached her hand out towards me and covered my hand with her own. “It’s ok to be confused Aisling. We all get like that. God knows but I was when I started out. I suppose luckily for me I was born into the Croí.”

  “Well you see at least you understood what was going on straight away. Until you turned up... well I knew I was different but I just didn’t know how different I would be... Wait does my mom know all this?”

  “I think perhaps that might be a question better answered by your mother. I am not privy to all the details surrounding your case. I’m just following orders. I am sorry I didn’t make it here sooner, we did try...” Natasha’s voice cracked once more and she buried her face in her hands. “I’m not sure how I’m supposed to carry on, I don’t even know if I can.”

  “How long were you with the hunters?” I watched her as she tried to control her emotions but she couldn’t prevent a tear that leaked from the corner of her eyes and trailed down over her cheeks.

  “I was with them just a little over two months. The only comfort I have in all that was whilst I was Silas’s pet I didn’t have to much time to think about what they did to Jason. I felt I deserved it. I couldn’t save him and then this was my punishment. It felt right somehow but now... What do I do now? I can’t go back to just my life in the Croí. Not without him. How can I live when he isn’t here anymore?”

  Her voice broke and she began to sob quietly. The tears flowed freely down her face and I sat there unsure of what I should be doing to comfort her. What did you say to someone who had suffered so much at the hands of such monsters and who had lost their mate in the process.

  “I’m sorry Aisling. I shouldn’t be dumping all this on you.” Frantically she scrubbed at her face with her hands wiping away the tears. “Have you ever tried to tap into your power?”

  “Tap into it?” Curiosity gripped me and without thinking I sat up straighter and leaned towards her.

  “Yes, try and deliberately force your power to perform. Bring it on and see what you are really fit to do. I can see from your face that you haven’t.” She smiled softly at me as she spoke revealing a row of perfect white teeth.

  “Well what I did with Jon tonight to get rid of that Max guy, does that count?”

  “It does a little but you acted more as a boost for Jon’s. You magnified his powers rather than using your own. Do you have any idea what your real powers might be?”

  I thought about it for a minute chewing on my lip before finally shaking my head. “I really don’t know. I think it has something to do with electricity.”

  It was her turn to look interested. “What makes you say that?”

  “Well whenever I am with Jon, I feel it like little tingles of electricity running along my skin and when we touch...” Embarrassed I looked at the floor. “Well it really feels like electricity to me, sort of like I touched an electric fence and it courses through me.”

  “I see. Well would you like to find out what it might be?”

  “Yes! Of course I would, I’ve wanted to know for so long.”

  “Right well sit on the bed properly. And close your eyes.” I positioned myself on the bed as she spoke and closed my eyes slowly. Excitement coursed through me, what would it feel like? Would it hurt? The questions bounced around inside my mind like butterflies trapped in a jar.

  “Now Aisling, I want you to imagine your power has a colour. Feel it deep inside you and tell me what colour you think it might be?”

  With my eyes closed, the light from my room made the inside of my eyelids a red colour. The harder I tried to imagine what other colour my power might be the more elusive it seemed to be. Struggling harder I tried to feel it within me and the hairs on my arms began to lift as I sensed it within me somewhere. I tried to picture where it might be hiding and I worked my way down through my body until I felt something tingle along my arms.

  Opening my eyes I looked at Natasha who sat opposite me with her eyes closed. Her power glowed along her skin like tiny silver darts of light and I could feel myself wanting to reach out and touch it. It seemed so inviting and without thinking my hand crept across the space between us until it hovered just over her arm. Her voice startled me as she spoke to me and suddenly my hand grabbed her arm.

  Pain shot up through me and my eyes went wide with fear. Power boiled within my body and I realised that it was the same colour as what I had seen behind my closed eyelids, bright red. Staring at her I could see her own eyes widen in fear as the power flowed through us and out into the air around us both until we were lost in a haze of silver and red light.

  “Aisling, what have you done. Stop it!” Her voice sounded strangled to my ears and dark spots began to dance in my vision. I wasn’t sure what I was supposed to stop anymore. It was then I felt him, inside my head calming me and slowing the flow of the bright red power. His voice whispered through my body, curling in the pit of my stomach and igniting a warmth I had never experienced before. The feel of his presence calmed my power considerably and slowly it began to flow back towards me. Curling around the feeling of warmth he gave me I could feel my power purring contentedly once it reached his presence.

  Natasha yanked her arm from my grip and her power pulled suddenly back from mine, it swirled angrily around her body before retreating back in through her skin. The remainder of my power swirled around my body for a few seconds more and I tried to call it back. The phone on my locker rang and the red haze dissipated through the roof.

  “What the hell was that?” Natasha stepped off the bed and stood away from me as though I would grab her once again and pull her power out of her.

  “I don’t know, you wanted me to tap my powers and I did.” I grabbed the phone from the locker and flipped it open. “Hello?”

  “Aisling what the fuck happened? I felt you... I felt you dying...”

  “No I don’t think I was dying Jon, just trying out something with my powers. Natasha suggested we try it, my power just had other ideas.”

  “Trying out what with your powers?”

  “She said I could find out what it might be...”

  He went silent for a moment before choosing to answer me. “Oh, and did you find out what it was?”

  “It’s red...”

  “Well, what does that mean?”

  “Jon I don’t know... I haven’t had a chance to ask Natasha but it felt pretty powerful...”

  “Yeah no kidding, I felt it here, Ais look do you need me to come over?”

  “Jon it’s fine,
really. Anyway, I’m going to go down for dinner in a minute. Might just bring it up to my room. I think Natasha is pretty wrecked. I’ll text you if anything comes up and I’ll text you before bed anyway.”

  “Ais be careful ok? I love you.”

  “I love you to Jon and I will. Now stop worrying. Talk later.”

  Closing the phone I turned back to Natasha. “So what happened? And do you know what my power is?”

  I watched her closely she still seemed to be spooked but I was desperate to find out what my power was or would be anyway. I couldn’t shake the feel of the power as it had swirled around me. I had wanted so badly to keep pouring it out and into the air.

  “Death.” Her voice was quiet and she had lowered her gaze to the floor as she spoke.

  “What do you mean death?” I couldn’t stop the fear from creeping into my voice and a chill slithered down my spine as I waited for her to continue.

  “Your power is death. You bend powers much as I do but you can kill with yours. It is the primary reason for your power. It feeds on death. The last person to have a power such as yours could find the dead and do other things with people in their moment of death but you. You can actually kill with yours. It draws the life out of its victims...” I sat in shock as her words sank in. I would be a killer, how could I be that? Yeah I would do what I had to, to protect the ones I love. But could I really simply be a killer?

  “I thought my power would have to do with electricity. God how can it be death, you have to be mistaken. I’m not a killer. I can’t be a killer.”

  “Aisling, I’m not saying you’re a killer that is simply your power. But the one thing I do fear with you is that you could accidentally kill someone or yourself. You had no control on your power there when we tried it out. None at all. It’s as though you didn’t want the control. You let it get away from you and if Jon hadn’t stepped in when he did you would have killed both me and you. You are dangerous to yourself and others until you get a grip on this...

  I only hope your birthday brings with it the control you lack right now...”

  I stood on uneasy feet and walked towards the door. My head was swimming in information. I was dangerous. God what would I do if I hurt Jon or even my poor mother? How could I live with that kind of pressure? I was a ticking time bomb and no one seemed to know how to diffuse me.

  “I’m going down to get some food; you can come with me if you like.” My voice sounded mechanical to my ears and my body moved like a wooden doll that was unsure of its joints and movements.

  “Aisling I’m sorry. The Croí can help you control this, I will help and Jon is your soulmate he will help to. You know he will. It’s going to be ok, don’t panic about it too much.”

  I opened the door and stepped out and continued to move until I was downstairs and gathering up some of the food my mom had prepared and left for me. The television blared in the sitting room. It was such a comforting sound. Normal even and right now normal was what I needed most of all.

  Picking up the plate I made my way into the room and sat in silence with my mom. She didn’t glance at me, just continued to remain engrossed in the soap opera that played out on the screen. We didn’t need words; she knew when I needed space, almost as though she could simply read my mind. At that moment I was glad of the silence from her and the noise drowning out the panic in my mind.

  When I finally finished eating I left the room as quietly as I had entered, washed up my plate and cutlery and retreated to my bed. Natasha was curled in her makeshift bed and I could tell from her measured breathing that she was indeed asleep. Picking up my phone from the nightstand, I read Jon’s message of love and concern to me and wrote simply back to him.

  “I love you.x”

  I turned off the light and crawling under the covers still fully dressed I tried to persuade my mind that sleep would be the best thing. My thoughts as I drifted off to sleep were of concern for Jon’s safety if he was near me and my power escaped me. Tears wet the pillow beneath my head as I let dreaming take me.

  Chapter Four

  The morning dawned dull and the air seemed as lifeless as I felt. The events of the night before had taken their toll on me and sleep had evaded me all night. It took me a few seconds to realise the alarm beside my bed was beeping.

  “Do you think you could switch it off?”

  Natasha’s voice startled me and my hand slammed down on the alarm a little heavier than I had anticipated. It slid off the locker and hit the floor emitting one last pitiful beep before it died.

  “I’d forgotten you were here. Did you sleep?”

  Popping her head above the bottom of my bed she smiled and stretched. She reminded me of a cat, a very human and beautiful cat but there was just something in the way she moved her limbs that screamed grace and also predator.

  “Well with all the tossing and turning you did last night, I just about managed it.”

  With a sigh, I slid to the edge of the bed and let my legs dangle before pulling myself to my feet. The world spun in dizzying circles and the air whooshed out of my lungs as I crumpled to the floor.

  “Aisling, Aisling, can you hear me? Are you alright?”

  Natasha’s voice floated through the red streamers in my vision. I could taste copper in my mouth and her voice wasn’t the only one I seemed to be hearing. A mans voice mumbled over and through hers, opening my eyes slowly I couldn’t believe what I was seeing. The room was splattered in blood. It dripped from the walls and gathered in little puddles on the floor. Then came the screaming.

  I didn’t realise it was coming from me until Natasha slapped me once, hard across my face. My head swam and I closed my eyes expecting another but it didn’t happen. Blinking slowly I peered cautiously around me. The room seemed much as it had before, no blood trickled in rivulets down the wall and the puddles had completely vanished.

  “Did I hit my head?” My voice came out in a croak as I looked back at Natasha.

  “Well unless you count the slap I just gave you, no you didn’t. You just went down like a lamb, well until you started screaming.” She still looked concerned as she helped me to my feet.

  Sitting on the edge of the bed once more I stared hard at my familiar room. Nothing looked out of place, my posters still hung on the wall. The white dresser with my make-up scattered across its surface was once again white, well apart from the spilled cosmetics that stained it.

  “Aisling what happened?” Sitting down beside me her blue and lilac flowered eyes stared intensely into my plain green ones.

  “I’m really not sure, I tried to stand and my body just sort of switched off.”

  “Switched off?” Confusion crinkled her brow and I really couldn’t blame her for looking at me as though I had lost my mind. However it was the only explanation I had, my body had simply switched off and I had gone down like a ton of bricks.

  “Why did you start screaming so?”

  “Ok, this is where I’m going to sound like a lunatic...”

  Natasha looked sceptically at me, “you do realise that we have magical powers and you shot a flare so powerful last night that you probably alerted every magical being within a one hundred mile radius. And you think whatever you are going to tell me now will make me think you are a lunatic?”

  “Fine.” I couldn’t stop the edge of irritation from entering my voice, did she really need to be so blasé about it? “When I opened my eyes the room was covered in blood if you must know. It dripped down the walls and gathered in puddles on the floor.”

  Fear flashed through her eyes but just as quickly as it had appeared it was gone again. If I hadn’t been staring at her I might have missed it.

  Looking away from me she glanced around the room as though she was reassuring herself that it wasn’t infact covered in blood.

  “Maybe you did hit your head and I missed it. I mean the room is fine now, see.” She gestured outwards with her hands at our normal surroundings. “It was probably nothing. Anyway, I’m surprised y
our mom didn’t come to investigate your screaming.”

  It was my turn to look away as I spoke, “she’s probably already gone to work. We don’t see much of each other. She works, I go to college and we’re happy to avoid each other in between times.”

  Her words reminded me to check my phone, surely Jon knew something was wrong. He always did just in the same way I knew when something wasn’t right with him. Closing my hand around the small black mobile I was disappointed to see no flashing message symbol. It was unusual for him not even to have messaged her a morning greeting. It was their thing beginning from the moment they had met and each morning he would send her a message.

  “That’s odd.”

  “What is?” Natasha asked as she stood and gathered the clothes I was letting her borrow from on top of the wicker chair in the corner of my room.

  “Jon didn’t send me a message this morning.”

  Natasha continued to gather the items I had left ready for her, “and this is odd why?”

  “He messages me every morning and it’s always before I wake up.” Standing up I walked to my bedroom window that over looked Jon’s house. I couldn’t see anything unusual, his parents car stood in the driveway and the bedroom curtains were drawn.

  “Aisling, he probably just slept in, you both used a lot of power last night. Him more so than you, no offence but it was kinda his power that outed Silas. Relax, he is more than likely face down in his bed snoring his head off.”

  My shoulders slumped slowly and I released the breath I hadn’t realised I was holding. “Yeah, you’re right.” Glancing at the time on my phone I swore under my breath. If I didn’t hurry, I was going to be late for class. “I’m going to jump in the shower, the guest bathroom is the second door on the left feel free to use it.” Grabbing my towel and clothes I didn’t wait for her to answer but ran straight into my own en-suite.

  Stripping quickly I looked carefully at the gash on my forehead. It wasn’t very deep and for that I was grateful but I knew no amount of concealer would cover the purple discolouration that was blooming above my eye. With a sigh, I stepped into the shower cubicle and let the hot water pour over my skin. Scrubbing my hair clean I let my worried thoughts of the night before wash away with the water.