by Sophia Gray
When he paused long enough that I didn’t think he’d offer up any more information, I asked, “Well?”
“Those men today. I think there’s a very good chance that they won’t be the only ones to…notice you.”
My brow furrowed, and I frowned a little at him. “What are you talking about? Those guys were crazy. It was all just some freak accident and…” I broke off because I didn’t think it was an accident. Not at all. Those guys ran me off the road deliberately, and if Pax hadn’t come to my rescue, I probably would still be in that ditch with my car.
“I’m saying that things are complicated, and you’re all wrapped up in the middle of it.” He frowned and ran a hand through his still damp hair.
We were both still wearing only towels and despite what we just did, it suddenly felt too intimate. I eyed the clothing still strewn over the bed. The urge to get dressed was strong. “What things? What’s really going on?” I asked.
He hesitated, not looking thrilled about explaining. “I assume you’ve figured out that I, and my men, are part of a motorcycle club?”
I schooled my face into a practiced blank stare. Honestly, no, I hadn’t realized that. Of course, I should have. A bunch of guys who liked to ride motorcycles hanging out and doing probably stupid, dangerous, possibly illegal things. Yeah, that sounded like a motorcycle gang. I mean, club. But I’d been so distracted by Kato’s injuries—and yes, Pax’s sexiness—that I hadn’t really put two and two together. Besides, I thought they were all supposed to be wearing leather, yet I’d barely seen a scrap of leather beyond Pax’s boots.
And what a damn shame because Pax would look fine in some leather pants…
Trying to keep my mind on track, I asked, “And what does that have to do with anything? Were those guys out there yours?”
His glare was as fierce as his answer. “Fuck no. Those pieces of shit belong to that poor asshole Huxton. He’s too stupid to have anyone but weak, half-assed lackeys.”
The anger in his tone was clear enough to tell me that I’d offended him with my question. “Well, how the hell am I supposed to know that? Do I look like I spend a lot of time around motorcycle gangs?”
His eyes narrow. “Club. We’re a motorcycle club. Officially, paperwork and all.”
I resisted the urge to roll my eyes because it was like calling a janitor a custodian. In the end, they both cleaned up other people’s trash. A rose by any other name and all that jazz. But I ignored that little blip and continued on. “Fine, whatever. Who’s this Huxton guy?”
Folding his arms across his bare chest, he answered in a smooth, dark voice. “Leader of the Chaos Disciples. They’re sort of our rivals, muscling in on our territory, causing problems. Those were Chaos Disciples out there tonight going after you.”
A shudder ripped through me at the thought of those men standing up top, looking down at me, waiting. I could have died in that car crash. And the sense that I could have died after it, too, wasn’t lost on me.
“Why?” I managed to ask, my voice mostly calm.
Pax let out a long breath. “Because of me. Because of your involvement with the Hellriders.” At my blank stare, he clarified, “Us. We’re the damn Hellriders. Keep up, would you?”
My eyes narrowed at him. I might have picked a fight—how the hell was I supposed to know that the name of his “company,” assuming he actually had one, was the same as his damn little club? But I didn’t. Choosing to stay on topic, because I wanted answers, I asked instead, “But I’m not involved with the Hellriders.”
He gave me a look.
“What?” I demanded. “I’m not!”
“Technically, you’ve been working for me all week.” He pointed this out casually, but I could see the line of tension in his shoulders.
It wasn’t until that statement sunk in that I realized why he was tense. “Wait. Did you know about this? Did you know that—that someone was going to try and kill me for working for you?”
Anger began to boil low in my belly, sending up hot steam to my chest cavity. The sudden urge to deck him was so intense that I almost crossed the scant floor space separating us to do just that. Somehow, I resisted. Mostly, because I wanted him to explain himself. And I wanted a good damn reason for why I shouldn’t be furious with him.
A flash of guilt flickered across his features, then it was gone. The asshole was back as he answered, “Do I look like a damn moron? Why the fuck do you think I insisted you stay inside? If you weren’t such a pain in my ass, you wouldn’t have even been attacked.”
“You’re saying this is my fault?” I demanded incredulously.
This was not exactly the explanation I’d been waiting for.
He shrugged his shoulders casually, and I definitely didn’t notice that the towel wrapped around his torso sagged a little, threatening to drop entirely. Nope, not at all. “I would have gotten you out without anyone seeing you. Instead, you’ve got to go and cause fucking problems. Now the Disciples know who you are.”
The retort that had been forming on my tongue was suddenly gone. Now the Disciples know who you are. All the fight drained out of me as I realized just what that meant. They could come after me again. Even if I left here and never looked back, they could come after me. Maybe they’d find my apartment or my work. Would they shoot it up like a gang might? Or would they be more discreet and just come for me?
A shudder of fear worked its way across my shoulders and then down my spine.
“Why? What do they want with me?” I hated how small my voice was all of a sudden.
If I was expecting sympathy on Pax’s face, I would have been sorely disappointed. He seemed unaffected by my predicament. He shrugged his shoulders. “I told you, it has to do with your proximity to the Hellriders.” He looked like he wanted to add something but didn’t.
That was a shitty answer. “But…but I haven’t done anything!”
“Doesn’t matter. You saved Kato; you’ve worked for me. That’s enough. And before you ask, no, they won’t stop. You’re an easy target.”
Easy target. Oh, God, I was an easy target. My stomach roiled, and I felt sick. Really sick. Like, I might puke up the lingering contents in my stomach onto the floor of the room any second now. How was this happening? I had to take in slow, deep breaths to try to keep from hyperventilating…and puking. For several minutes, that was all I did. I didn’t curl up into the fetal position or put my head between my knees, but I definitely wanted to.
After a long, drawn-out moment, I was able to speak again. “What do I do?”
“You do as I fucking tell you this time,” came Pax’s quick reply. It was firm, and I wanted to balk at it, but I was scared enough that I remained silent. For now. “We sneak you out and you go into hiding until either the Disciples are taken care of or I get you out of the city. If you’re out of their territory, they likely won’t follow you.”
A frantic laugh bubbled up in my chest. “Likely won’t follow me? Is that supposed to be comforting?”
He pursed his full lips together and didn’t answer.
I shook my head. “I don’t want to leave. This is home. I have an apartment, a job…” I stopped there because I really didn’t have anything else in my life. Except maybe the sexy man standing in front of me. Do I even contemplate making this serious? Would he even bother trying something like that with me?
He waved off my answer. “Don’t be stupid. Your job doesn’t pay for shit anyway, and your apartment is tiny. I can get you a job somewhere else. Anywhere else.”
I wanted to ask him how in the hell he intended to do that but resisted. Instead, I chewed on my nails, a nasty habit I’d mostly kicked except for moments when my life was suddenly at risk. Because that happened a lot.
“But I—”
Pax made a frustrated sound. “Are you fucking dense? I tell you that you need to go on the run and you fucking argue with me? What the hell is your problem?”
“My problem is that none of this should be happening!
I’m a good girl. I don’t do crazy, reckless things!” Except for sleep with sexy motorcycle riding assholes without thought of a condom or STDs or anything else. Good job, Nurse Jamie. Way to promote safe sexy times.
He ran a hand through his hair again. “Well, it fucking is happening. Get over it.” He paused, then softened fractionally. Maybe it was the panicked look in my eyes that did it or the hint that tears were on the horizon. Either way, his voice went slightly softer as he said, “Look, we’ll try hiding you out. Maybe you won’t have to leave. But you need to keep your head down. And you’re not going back to your apartment.”
I opened my mouth to tell him he was a controlling pig of a man, but instead, something else tumbled out. “Are you coming with me?”
His eyebrows rose in surprise at my question. I couldn’t blame him. I was surprised by it, too. “No. I have to take care of the Disciples before they cause any more problems than they already have.”
I bit my lower lip, worrying at it with my teeth. “But…” I tried to figure out what I was getting at, then blurted, “I want you to come with me.”
“Why?”
I glanced at his towel as I clutched mine tighter. I began to tremble and it wasn’t because I was cold. Instead, I was nervous. Because I could feel it bubbling up, the stupid thing I was about to say. But I couldn’t stop it. “Because we just…” My eyes flickered to the door, visualizing the bathroom on the other side of it. “What was that in there? I mean, was that just a…a fling?”
I don’t know what possessed me to ask. Of course that had been a fling. An incredible, mind blowing fling that left my knees weak and my body sore, but it was only about the sex. Even though my heart was pounding nervously in my chest and I felt like my eyes were the size of saucers as I stared at him, waiting for his answer.
He was silent for a long, long time. I thought he just wouldn’t answer, but then he spoke. His voice was low and husky. “That depends on you, baby.”
My heart stuttered. “What do you mean?” I croaked.
He took a step towards me. “I mean, what do you fucking want? You want this to be some fling? Fine, it’s a fling.”
Those words stung, which was stupid. Stupid because it confirmed what I already knew—this was just a fling—but also because it meant that I really didn’t want it to be. My voice shook as I forced it out. “What if I don’t want it to be just a fling?”
The question seemed to just hang in the air there for a long time before Pax cursed.
“Fuck, baby, I don’t know. Do I look like the long-term relationship kind of guy? Do I strike you as the cuddling, sweet, get to know you and everyone lives happily ever after guy? Because I’m not. And if that’s what you’re looking for—”
“I’m not,” I said, surprising us both. When he raised his eyebrows at me in question, I tried to answer him. Tried to explain. But I wasn’t quite sure myself, so I was feeling my way through the answer. “It’s not that I don’t want a long-term thing. I do. I want long-term and monogammous and everything, but…” I paused as I struggled through the foul taste of the next words as they slipped off my tongue. “But I’ve had the sweet, cuddling guy before. I’ve had the settle down and marry you type, the one who whispers sweet nothings in your ear and promises you that you’re his everything. And you know what? He turned out to be the biggest dick I’d ever met. What a fucking asshole.”
Pax stared at me, a little startled by my words and the vehemence I said them with.
Sucking in a harsh breath, I continued. “His name was Devin, and he thought that being sweet to me meant he could do whatever he wanted on the side. Even though he was my fucking fiancé. But no one gets to sleep around with Miss Fake Tits just because he buys me flowers afterwards. So if my options are getting an asshole up front or ending up with an asshole in nice guy attire, then I’ll take the asshole up front. I’d rather know what I’m getting into.”
His eyes watched me, intensity swirling in their dark depths. Silence filled the space between us, and it was a long time before he spoke again. “I can’t promise you anything,” he said finally, his voice gruff. “But I can promise you that if I ever catch you with another man, I’ll kill you both.”
I shivered at the promise of violence in his voice, a little weirded out at how turned on I was by his possessiveness. “I can live with that.”
“Fine. Great. Whatever. But if the Chaos Disciples catch you, this whole fucking conversation is a moot point.”
Wrapping my arms around myself, I nodded. “Okay. So what do we do?”
“Like I said, you do as I say this time. And I say you go into hiding.”
I really didn’t like the sound of that. Gripping my arms, holding them tightly to my body, I tried to accept that he was right about this. Except it just didn’t feel right. It felt like the safest place to be was with him, and he didn’t intend on coming with me. “Why don’t we both go into hiding?” I tried to suggest because I didn’t think I had much chance of arguing my way out of his Jamie Goes into Hiding plan.
He shook his head. “I need to be here. Like I said, I need to stop the Disciples. Can’t do that if I’m busying hiding away somewhere, worrying about you.”
Despite the conversation, I felt a flutter in my chest. He’d be worrying about me. “I…I want to stay with you.” I couldn’t believe I just said that, but I did. And I meant it, too.
His dark eyes fixed on me and intense emotion flashed in them, but his tone was cool and stern when he spoke again. “Your safety is the important thing right now. Staying with me isn’t safe.” He hesitated, looking torn about something. Finally, he added, “And it might never be.”
Shaking my head, I closed the space between us and put my palms flat against his bare chest. I can’t believe we’re having this conversation in nothing but towels. “I don’t care. I want…I want to try this with you. We’re already trying this. I’d rather be with you than apart. I don’t care about the risk.”
Rolling his eyes, he pushed me back. I was hurt as he said, “Yeah, sure. Everyone’s all ‘I don’t care’ until they’re actually facing down a gun. Until their life I really on the line. Then they head for the hills. Well, I’m skipping a step. You’re heading for the hills now.”
I felt like yelling at him for being a big, macho bully but couldn’t quite get it out. Some part of me felt that he might be right. Sure, danger in theory wasn’t so scary, but after that car accident, I was pretty shaken up. The urge to be with Pax was at an all-time high now thanks to the mind blowing sex we’d just had—twice. But that didn’t mean I wasn’t afraid of the repercussions. I could honestly be killed.
Was any man worth that risk?
I didn’t know, and it was too damn early in this relationship or whatever the hell it was to try to really figure it out. I didn’t know him well enough for that, and I didn’t know what my own wounded heart wanted at this point.
“I think this is a bad idea,” I finally said, returning to the idea of hiding me away somewhere. “I don’t want to go.”
“It’s not about what you want, baby,” he told me in a grim tone. “It’s about keeping you alive. We’ll figure out the rest later.”
Reluctantly, I nodded my head.
“Good. Now get dressed. You’re leaving in half an hour.”
He turned away then and left, closing the door again behind him. For a long time, I stared at that closed door wondering what the hell was going on. With him. With me. With these damn Chaos Disciples or whatever. This was all so crazy. I wasn’t supposed to be here, dealing with this stuff. I was a nurse. I lived a boring, normal life with student loans and a stupid, tiny apartment.
Yet here I was, and try as I might, I’d yet to wake up. And now that Pax seemed okay to try this as more than just fuck ‘em and leave ‘em, I wasn’t sure if I wanted to wake up.
Could this all, by some crazy miracle, work out?
It was way too early to tell, but I hoped.
I got dressed and then he
aded downstairs. Kato was up, too, looking pale and drained but alive. He glared at me as soon as I reached the landing, but I had no idea why. It wasn’t how I expected someone to react to the person who had saved their life.
Pax came down a moment later, hanging up his cell phone. I didn’t know who he’d been talking to and didn’t bother asking. Probably I would get another “none of your business” line, despite that it was now clearly my business. At least in part.
He reached the bottom of the stairs, then glanced between me and Kato. He didn’t look happy. He hesitated a second, then said, “Kato is going with you. He’s still pretty fucked up, and he’s not going to do me much good other than to give me one more thing to worry about.” Pax’s tone sounded as if he wasn’t thrilled by his words. He shot Kato a hard look.
I didn’t know what exactly was going on, but I knew I didn’t like it.
