by Pandora Snow
"No. I need you to take care of Sarah. I need you to promise me you'll be there for her. There's a good chance I can't give her children, and I may be left a shell of a man after cancer treatment." This is my worst nightmare and my greatest fear.
"I don't care about anything but her, and I can't fulfill my husbandly duties. Please, Cyrus. Will you catch her when she falls, after I break up with her?"
I'm balling like a scared little boy, offering to give up the only person in my life who matters. Even Cyrus is wiping away tears with his dirty t-shirt. Sarah would never allow me to wear a stained garment.
We sit in resigned silence for a long few minutes, collecting our thoughts. This is for the best. I've always known she deserves the world, and if I can't give it to her, I trust Cyrus will.
"Can I take her for a test drive?" he asks quietly, making a small attempt to bring me back to reason and reality with humor.
"Listen, Ian. I know you feel like a bomb is dropping on you with this news, but you're projecting failure before evaluating the situation logically. Did we treat soldiers with an attitude that they would be left permanently injured or die when they suffered a minor wound?"
"No, but this isn't minor."
"You don't know that! If you're recounting your conversation with the doctor correctly, you're still in the very early stages of cancer, if it even is cancer."
"There's more," I say in a low voice.
"Tell me," he orders.
"On Monday morning, either I'm going to have to fire one of my best team members, a fellow veteran with Stage two cancer, or lose my job. It's a no-win situation. And the nail in my coffin today was finding out a soldier I've employed for less than a week committed suicide. The guilt is tearing me up. I've failed everyone in my life."
I pop the top off another beer, drinking it down. I wish Jake hadn't died. I wish I'd never enlisted. But I can't wish I'd never met Sarah. She'll eternally be the love of my life, even after I let her go.
"You're not going home to her tonight, not like this. Give me her number."
He walks into the other room and rings her phone. I feel her crying through the lines as Cyrus explains what happened at work, and that I've had too many beers to drive home.
"Here, say goodnight," he says, handing me his cell.
"I love you, Sarah, I'm sorry," I say, then hand her back to him. Ironic.
This is what I'm doing. I'm giving up; I'm quitting. I'm saying she's not worth fighting for, that I'm not willing to fight for myself. Cyrus cleans up the empty bottles and pizza and switches on an old Netflix series about WWII. I fall asleep to cannons and gunfire, unable to draw the line between truth and fiction.
CHAPTER NINE
"Rise and shine soldier, your mother's on her way over." I'm seriously hoping I didn't just hear that. How the hell did she find out about my disaster of a day?
Cyrus lends me some clean fatigues as I rush through the shower, baffled by this turn of events. Ten minutes later, I hear her voice greet Cyrus, thanking him for watching over me last night.
"Mom, what on earth are you doing here?" I say incredulously. She's in her prim and proper church clothes, wasting no time giving me a reassuring embrace. We sit down on the couch, and she begins to put the puzzle pieces in place.
"I ran into Dr. Pritchett at church, and he asked me how you were handling the news. His face turned red when I asked him what news. I gently persuaded him to tell me the entire truth." My mom doesn't gently persuade anyone. She gets her way; she's strong.
"Do you think for one minute I'm going to let you go through this minor health setback alone, son? I wish you would have told me at dinner last Wednesday night so I could take some of the worries from your mind. But I'm here now, and if Dr. Pritchett isn't overly concerned, neither am I."
"Thanks, Mom," her warm hands holding mine in comfort, her eyes appreciating the opportunity to take loving care of her little boy.
"Now, this conversation was a cakewalk compared to the one you're going to have with your fiancé in an hour. She was crying most of the night because you didn't come home to her, because you wouldn't tell her why you were hurting so deeply.
She knows you talked to Dr. Pritchett yesterday, that's not her concern. Her concern is that you feel so much guilt about letting her down that you couldn't face her." These two women know more about me than I do.
"You bruised her heart, Ian. She loves you, unconditionally. I want you to step up and be the man I know you are, the man Jake was, and reassure your lifelong partner you're not giving up. Let me, and all of the friends who love you, carry your burden. No man left behind, isn't that what you learned?"
Our arms embrace, reaffirming our loving family bonds. "I love you, son. Now go home to where you belong, with Sarah."
Cyrus puts a portable mug of coffee in my hand and walks us to the door. "Have you found a nice young woman yet, Cyrus? You're a very handsome man. I know several pretty girls at church who are single." He gives my mom a parting hug, telling her he'll consider the offer.
"I've got my eye on someone special at the moment, but thank you, Mrs. Manning." He pats me on the back and shakes my hand tightly.
"Go get her Ian, and never let go," he says quietly so only I can hear.
"Thank you, Cyrus," I reply, humbled at the brotherly love he's shown me, the love everyone's shown me.
I see mom to her car and begin the short drive home. I'm an emotional wreck and a fucked-up mess. For some crazy reason, I don't think Sarah will mind.
She's sitting quietly in the middle of the sofa as I walk in the door. Two steaming cups of coffee and a box of Kleenex are on the wood table. I breathe in the extraordinary scent of home, our home, and sit gently by her side.
Her long dark lashes lift her eyes to mine, showing me a vulnerable, scared soul. My fingers begin weaving with hers, taking a moment to
appreciate the stillness and silence of her undying devotion to me.
I gently cup her smooth left cheek, running my thumb across her open lips. She remains motionless, allowing me to take my time, to take what I need.
"You're so precious to me, Sarah. I was in a dark place last night, and I couldn't bear laying my burdens on your shoulders. I didn't want to share my pain and taint our unconditional love. I'm sorry I didn't tell you about my conversation with Dr. Pritchett. I needed time to wrap my head around the possibilities of having cancer, around the chance I won't be able to give you a child."
She finally releases the pent-up emotions she's being feeing the last twenty-four hours, in spectacular fashion.
"I have a few things to tell you, Mr. Manning, so listen up." She stands above me, her trembling arms on her generous curvy hips. Damn, she's insanely sexy right now.
"First, I understand you needed time and space to work through your emotions. Cyrus explained you had to vent your frustrations in a way only men do. I'm grateful you have loyal squad buddies to look after you when you need them." That wasn't so bad, but I'm sure there's more.
"Second, I'm very sorry to hear your team member Pete passed away. You take immense pride and personal responsibility for the well-being of others. That's one of the qualities I love most about you. I can't imagine how much this hurts." A compliment and a compassionate sentiment.
"Third, if something unfortunate happens at work, I'll be here for you. We're all here for you. I'm not marrying you for your money, you know." Her seductive vulnerable body is unconsciously swaying, pulling me into her with every breathe.
"And last, but most certainly not least, you will be one hundred percent honest and forthright with me regarding your health. I am not above calling in personal favors with Dr. Pritchett if I need to keep tabs on you." Hell no! My sexy, honest, loving bride is not going to owe favors to anyone but me.
"I love you, Ian Manning, and I agree to be your wife, in good times and bad, sickness and health, till death do us part. Do you understand?" My transfixed mouth is open as she pulls her sundress over her head. Have
mercy on my guilty misguided soul. She's stark naked.
"Now, I want to be pleasured and loved, in that order. Otherwise, I may take Cyrus up on his offer."
"What?" I shout, standing up to wrap her around my deliriously needy heart.
"He said when you were stone drunk last night, you gave him permission to take me for a test drive, like kicking the tires of a new car." That bastard, and I love him for being honest enough to say what I needed to hear.
"Not on my watch, Maam," I state defiantly against her trembling lips.
"You're assigned to me, and only to me, in sickness and health, in good times and bad, till death do us part. My fiancé has demanded to be pleasured and fucked, in that order. That's exactly what I intend to give her. For the rest of our lives."
My reality has been uprooted, my spirit has been crushed, and my life has flashed before my eyes. Sarah is the common thread of hope and love that allows me to release my undo stress and personal guilt. The strength to manage through this short-term crisis is wiping away my fears minute by minute. I accept my fate, knowing nothing will alter the love between us.
CHAPTER TEN
"Boss!" Benny yells, as soon as he sees me enter the door.
"Good Morning, Benny," I smile widely, still drunk from my woman's passionate night of heart-stopping sex.
"Let's go to your office; I think I've found it."
I'm not sure what "it" is, but he's incredibly excited to tell me.
He hands me Pete's scanner, still off from the last use. "First Boss, let me say how sorry the entire store feels for Pete's loss. Every soldier matters, especially those who's duty is cut short."
"Well said, Benny, thank you."
"I tried to boot up his scanner this morning and received an error message. I charged the unit and his last scan showed up, the items he inventoried on aisle four, before you switched our assignments. Is it possible this inventory data was double-counted by the computer?"
I reach for the scanner, pulling up the data summary, and turn on my computer. "Let's find out," I say, clicking through screens until the numbers are loaded.
"How many units of medium panel brackets do you show in stock?" He checks his device.
"Three," he replies.
Hope grows in my chest, but we need to verify more data before reaching a conclusion. One by one, Benny and I compare the computer data with the inventory on his scanner. Every item Pete cataloged was counted twice in the computer, an unusual glitch, but a glitch none the less.
The process takes about fifteen minutes for me to log the SKUs and resort the spreadsheet. I smile triumphantly at Benny, shocked at the new percentage of shrink.
"Three one-thousands of a percent, Benny. We're only off by three one-thousands of a damn percent!" I stand, shaking his hand and patting him on the back. I knew my guys were honest and accurate. Even Pete, God rest his soul, completed his job with excellence.
"Spence!" I shout, grinning from ear to ear as he walks over.
"Benny found it; he found the root cause of the shortage. Everything on Pete's scanner was double-counted. Here, see for yourself."
He sits at my computer, comparing item after item, banging his fist on the desk. "Hot damn!" he shouts, the feelings of relief palpable.
"Excellent work, Benny," he smiles, shaking his hand tightly. "I'll put a good word in with the big boss for you."
"Thank you!" he beams and returns winningly to the floor.
"I knew you'd figure this out, Ian. No one in the company has more personal integrity and heart than you. Take all the time you need for your doctor's appointment this afternoon. If anyone can show cancer who's boss, it's you."
With a congratulatory handshake and pat on the back, he returns to his office. My consultation with the cancer center is at three. I've scored two significant victories in the last twelve hours, reaffirming Sarah's love and resolving a potentially career-ending dilemma at work.
If I do have cancer, which isn't even a given, I'm going to bring every ounce of confidence and an optimistic attitude. I'm getting married in three months; I have a wedding to plan.
Sarah needs help convincing my mom about wedding cake flavors, pink champagne tastes awful. I'm a blessed man to be loved unconditionally by my entire family.
Which reminds me. I need to ask Cyrus about his someone special comment to my mother. What, or rather who, is he hiding?
THREE MONTHS LATER
"The most glorious day of my life," Sarah whispers in my ear, laying her head on my shoulder and closing her eyes.
"Me too, babe. Thank you for being so patient and gracious with my mother for the past few months. I guess she got her way after all."
"Only a dozen of the cupcakes are pink champagne. If you don't want to eat one, I can shove it in your face."
I squeeze my blushing bride tightly, never wanting this moment to end. Thanks to the early detection by Dr. Pritchett, my precancerous cells have been dissolved. I still take preventative medication, but there've been no side effects.
She has no idea what I have planned for the honeymoon. Cyrus had a field day helping me plan the "special" events that will take place in the privacy of the intimate suite. As incorrigible as they are, these men are my family.
"A toast to the happy couple!" Snake says, another tray of beers passing around.
"Here's to a sweetheart, a bottle, and a friend. The first beautiful, the second full, and the last ever faithful."
"Cheers," we shout, as I grab the bottle out of Sarah's hand.
"Oh no you don't, baby. Do you want to tell them, or should I?"
"We're pregnant!" Sarah cries with joy, gasps, high fives, and slaps on the back breaking around us.
"Well I'll be damned!" Cyrus says, kissing his girl passionately, a promise of things to come.
"We can go baby shopping together!" Rebecca squeals, embracing the love of my life.
My married hand rests over my heart, touching the service medal awarded to Jake. Mom tearfully embraces my waist, pride shining brightly in her joyful eyes.
My life is perfect.
Exclusive Amazon Release
Cyrus – M.E.D.I.C.S. Book 5
She was on her hands and knees when I first kissed her. To create everlasting love, we’ll need to survive a traitor, a liar, and a thief. One of those three is her father.
Download Today!
THANK YOU for Reading!
** Please feed the Amazon Gremlins! **
***** Ian Amazon Review Link *****
If you enjoyed the book, please leave an honest Amazon review.
I love connecting with my readers and want to know what characters resonate with you the most, and how you feel about each book.
Plus, the more reviews I receive, the more readers will find and enjoy my other stories.
Writing for you is my dream! Thank you for making it possible.
Pandora Snow Facebook Page
TABLE OF CONTENTS
CHAPTER ONE
CHAPTER TWO
CHAPTER THREE
CHAPTER FOUR
CHAPTER FIVE
CHAPTER SIX
CHAPTER SEVEN
CHAPTER EIGHT
CHAPTER NINE
CHAPTER TEN
Copyright © 2020 By Pandora Snow
All rights Reserved
In no way is it legal to produce, duplicate, or transmit any part of this document in either electronic means or in printed format. Recording of this publication is strictly prohibited and any storage of this document is not allowed unless written permission from the publisher. All rights are reserved. Respective authors own all copyrights not held by the publisher.
r: grayscale(100%); -moz-filter: grayscale(100%); -o-filter: grayscale(100%); -ms-filter: grayscale(100%); filter: grayscale(100%); " class="sharethis-inline-share-buttons">share
