by KL Donn
Finally turning to look at her brother she saw the man. The worried one, the one who had aged since she left. His eyes weren’t laughing at some stupid stunt she pulled because the stupid stunt caused everyone around her so much pain. Pain that was meant for her and her alone.
Pulling back from her men she ran over to Ty, throwing herself into his arm. She was immediately swamped with his big arms protecting her, loving her, and in that moment she forgave them for their harsh accusations. She knew they felt everything as much as her. That they were just worried about her well-being.
“I’m sorry too, Tyler. I was just so overwhelmed and scared. I needed to figure out what to do with myself again, figure out who I was and where I was going. In an instant everything changed, and I was so lost,” she told them looking between both of her siblings so they understood she didn’t do it to hurt anyone.
“I didn’t mean to hurt anyone; you guys have to know this.” She pleaded with them.
“Fuck. Dammit, Kennedy, this isn’t easy for anyone. I know you were in a bad place but no more running kid, okay?” Nate begged with such a look of sadness on his face, her tears started coming faster.
“I promise,” she vowed.
“Thank fuck,” he smiled at her. That smile let her know they were going to be ok.
“Nathaniel! Language. If you don’t watch your tongue this baby’s first word is going to be fuck.” Keeley admonished him again.
“Sorry, Butterfly,” Nate told her sheepishly, pulling her into his arms.
Seeing her brothers so in love with Keeley and her love shining back at them made her realize all the things she was missing out on. What she could have if only she could find her medium. Forgive herself and move on.
One secret she hadn’t shared with anyone was the blame she placed on herself. If she’d been more aware, then she and Emily wouldn’t have been taken. If she’d paid more attention when her brothers and dads tried to teach her self-defence, she could have fought their abductors off. If she hadn’t been harassing their bodyguards so much, they could have anticipated what happened. So many what ifs haunted her mind.
Looking to Creed and Linc, she could envision a life of happiness with them. The white picket fence and two point five kids and a little dog. It was such a sharp image she was left breathless. They could see the change in her immediately, as they came closer with questions reflected in their eyes. She shook her head so they wouldn’t ask anything yet.
Clearing her throat, she looked back to her brothers as they held Keeley between them and asked, “Are you guys coming with us?”
“Nah, Ken, I think that’s something you gotta do,” Nate told her softly. Nodding her head, she braced herself for the emotional storm she would no doubt be heading into.
·٠•● ●•٠·
As they climbed into the SUV to take Kennedy to her parent’s house, Creed simmered with rage at her brothers for throwing what they had at her. He couldn’t believe it. Sure they were pissed she’d run and maybe they would always worry about it happening again, but never would he have dreamed of them throwing guilt onto her already turbulent emotions.
He understood why she ran, hell, almost anyone would have done the same. But then to finally find the courage to come back and immediately be assaulted with guilt was more than she should have had to take.
Once she was settled and buckled into the passenger seat, he threw the SUV into gear and they started their journey to her parents quietly, no one wanting to make the already tense situation worse. He was proud of her for standing up to them, making them understand only a small amount of her pain. But now he and Linc were tasked with protecting her from her parents because he could only imagine how they were feeling.
Adjustments would need to be made and apologies would have to be given, and people would have to make amends with decisions of the past, but there was nothing they wouldn’t save her from, and if that meant the anger of her family then they would do it. Already having a tenuous relationship with them about their decision on her recovery, he got more tense the closer they came to their house.
“Creed?” Kennedy broke the tense ride with her whispered question.
“Yeah, Sunshine?”
“Are you still mad at me?” The pain in her voice had him pulling over to the side of the road so he could look into her eyes for what he had to say.
“For a while I was mad,” he started, noting the drop of her eyes as he said it. “But not once was I mad at you. I was mad that you were in pain and we couldn’t help you. Hell, you didn’t even know who we were until you woke up.” Her eyes flew to his at that. Smiling gently, he continued. “I was fucking pissed that you left, but Kennedy, more than anything I was worried. Worried you were hurting alone. But mad at you? I’ve never been mad at you.”
The tears on her lashes teetered on the edge of falling when she grabbed his hand and hugged it to her chest whispering gratefully, “Thank you.”
Leaning over to her he placed a soft kiss on her forehead before starting the vehicle and continuing on again.
As they pulled into her parent’s drive a short time later, her dad, Jackson, was sitting on one of the rockers on the porch. She immediately began crying and shaking her head whispering, “I’m not ready.” As soon as Jackson saw them he stood up. Creed could see the shock written across his features.
When a hopeful light entered his eyes as he locked them on her, Creed knew they might have to push her into getting out.
Looking in the back to Linc he told him, “I’ll be right back,” knowing he had to give Jackson forewarning not to mess with her head and prepare them for her turmoil.
Climbing out, he took one last look at her shattered face and that resolved him to do what needed to be done. Walking up to Jackson, who had yet to take his eyes off her shadowy form in the front seat, he extended his hand with a short greeting. “Sir.”
“Young man, tell me that is my baby girl in there,” he demanded and Creed could hear how choked up he was.
“Yes, Sir,” he told him. “I have to warn you, though. It was not easy getting her to come home. She’s nowhere near the old Kennedy you once knew. She is very different in every aspect. And, Sir?”
Finally looking at Creed as his words penetrated his mind he asked, “Yeah, son?”
“If you or anyone else brings her to tears or hurts her in any way, we will not hesitate to take her away. Are we clear?”
“You’ve got balls, boy.”
“No, Sir, just facts. We will not allow her to feel one second of doubt the way your sons made her feel this morning.”
“She’s seen the boys? Just when did you get here and what is your relationship with my daughter?” He demanded to know.
“Honestly, Sir? It’s none of your damn business, but because I know Kennedy and how much your approval means to her, I’ll tell you this one time. She’s ours. There’s nothing in this world that either of us wouldn’t do for her or protect her from,” he told Jackson, not wavering or backing down.
“Why isn’t your brother out here with me?”
“Because at the moment, your sons have her so terrified you’re going to be as pissed with her as they were. And right now my brother is trying to convince her that y’all are only interested in making sure she’s safe. Don’t make us wrong on that.”
Finally realizing how serious he was about taking her away, Jackson gave one last look towards Kennedy before nodding his head and saying, “I don’t care where she went or why; I just want my baby home,” he whispered brokenly.
Nodding his head he walked back to the SUV as Linc climbed out from the back, opening the door for Kennedy. She looked terrified. More frightened than he’d ever seen her before. She sat frozen in her seat as Linc stood beside her, a wall of strength for her to lean on; she just didn’t realize it.
When she finally clashed eyes with him the stark fear facing him had him taking a step back. This was more than being afraid of what they would feel; this was her terri
fied of failing her parents.
Reaching for her hand, he tried to reassure with actions because he felt like words wouldn’t penetrate her over-active brain in that moment. As she slowly climbed from the vehicle she didn’t break eye contact, and when she started to hyperventilate Linc slipped behind her whispering in her ear, “Breathe, Sunshine. We’re here.”
As they continued to soothe her he saw from the corner of his eye as her mom and other dad, Andrew, came outside looking ten years older than when they’d left. When they finally noticed where Jackson’s attention was he heard their loud, shocked gasps upon seeing Kennedy.
She must have heard too because she froze. Her body, her wandering eyes, her breaths. Everything in her stilled when she realized all three of her parents were waiting for her. As she started shaking violently, he moved closer so their chests were touching and not one inch of her wasn’t being soothed by either him or Linc.
“Talk to us, Sunshine. What’s going through your mind?” Creed asked tilting her head up to meet his eyes. Her irises were practically owned by the entire pupil; the beautiful blues were nearly gone and replaced by darkness. Looking to Linc, he wondered if they should take her and leave. If maybe this was about to do her more harm than good.
“They hate me,” she finally whispered with the most desolate look he’d ever seen.
“No, Kennedy, they don’t. They’re so worried about you. The only thing they want is for you to be happy and healthy no matter where you are. You trust me, Sunshine?” he asked her.
“Yes,” she didn’t hesitate.
“Then trust that we would never let you go in there if we thought for one second they would show you anything other than love, yeah?”
With a last look around she let go of a deep breath before saying, “Okay, Creed.”
·٠•● ●•٠·
Her breath was stuck somewhere between her chest and her throat and burned something fierce. Never in a million years would she have dreamed seeing her parents after running would be so hard. The pain they must have felt had to have been horrible. She was so ashamed of herself to have caused them that.
Seeing her parents now, they looked older than ever before. It saddened her to know she was the cause. It was never her intent to hurt people by trying to leave the pain behind, but in doing so, she caused great suffering for her family.
Having Creed and Linc with her made the overwhelming emotions bearable. She just hoped they were ready to tackle the way she was feeling. Everything felt like it was bubbling to the surface and she couldn’t get a handle on it. She was out of control and had no idea where to grasp.
“Ready to do this?” Linc asked softly from behind her.
“No,” she told them honestly.
“You say the word and we’re outta here, Kennedy,” he promised.
Feeling slightly better that they weren’t going to abandon her, she steeled herself for more heartbreak than she felt she could handle. Grabbing their hands she half hid behind and between them, terrified of seeing the look on her parents faces as they approached.
“Kenny, baby?” Her momma’s broken words of hope had her breaking down. The tears came hot, hard, and fast. Her throat was so tight she couldn’t breathe. So overwhelmed with emotion, she lost the will to hold herself up and fell at her momma’s feet begging forgiveness.
“I’m so sorry, Momma.”
“Oh baby, hush, you have nothing to be sorry for. I’m so glad to see you’re safe,” her mother soothed, wrapping her in her arms tighter than she could ever remember.
For a while, they just sat there hugging and crying. Occasionally trying to speak but not being able to, they just held onto each other. Eventually, she felt heat at her back before a hand pulled her hair away from her ear and whispered, “Sunshine, come on up. Let’s get you inside. You’re shivering like crazy.”
As Creed helped her to her feet she got a good look at everyone and it seemed their display had them all slightly teary-eyed. Walking to her dads, she threw her arms around them and whispered, “Daddy,” like a prayer.
“Ah, kiddo. I missed ya,” her dad, Andrew, told her while squeezing her tighter into his side.
“House just wasn’t the same without your clunky shoes running around, Ken-doll,” Jackson told her with a chuckle.
Peace settled into her heart in that moment. It was like things had shifted, and while she still had a lot to work out in her mind, it no longer felt like her world was crumbling. She knew that was due in large part to Creed and Linc opening her heart again. Coming to find her and not forcing her to come home but letting her heal while silently standing guard.
“Let’s go inside for some sweet tea and muffins, shall we,” her mother, ever the hostess, suggested.
One thing she missed while in Italy; her momma’s baking and sweet tea.
Seventeen
Sitting in her parent’s great room felt… More. She couldn’t really describe it; it just felt like home. Thinking of all the family game nights or movie nights they had when she was growing up. Even when Nate and Ty signed up with the Marine’s they never missed family night unless they were out of the country.
It felt easy being in the room that held so many wonderful memories again. Seeing the pictures hanging on the walls of her family in varying stages of life over the years. There were photos dating back to before her parents even met. She loved seeing them. It was like a photo reel, a look back in time.
When her momma came back in with the sweet tea and muffins both Creed and Linc stood in acknowledgment of her return, something she’d only seen her fathers do. Their old-school attitude only embedded them further into her heart. They treated her mom with such respect and were so gentle with her and her feelings.
The way they stood up to her fathers was amazing. Not many men had the gumption to do that. Any boy she’d thought about dating before paled in comparison because they could barely make eye contact with her overbearing fathers. But these men? They shot every expectation she’d ever had about what she would have to settle for in a man. She’d always believed her dads’ old-school gentleman charm was a thing of the past. Seeing these men act this way towards the one woman on this earth she held in the utmost esteem spoke to their integrity.
“Tell me, baby,” her momma started like a question but nothing came after.
Perplexed and overloaded she asked, “Tell you what, Momma?” Her voice was still hoarse from her crying jag out front.
“Anything you want, baby.”
She drew a blank. How do you tell the people you love most in the world that they were suffocating with their love? It was a slap in the face.
Linc leaned in to whisper in her ear, “Your art.” With a raised eyebrow she questioned him. “It’s a start,” he answered her.
Realizing he was right though she’d never tell him, she told her parents of her love for drawing. Of creating a picture with her emotions— the sunset and rise, big turbulent waves. Soft waves on the shoreline. The way the seagulls swooped down to the water to eat. Seeing whales in the distance. All of it held one emotion or another, the good, the bad, and the ugly.
“What got you into that?” Jackson asked her.
Hesitant to answer, she thought hard about how to word that she was seeing a therapist because they would eventually ask how and why she decided to, and she wasn’t proud of the answer to that question.
“When I left I was in a dark place in my mind. I was scared and alone. Every noise would frighten me. The small ones, the big ones, just everything.” She started hoping they would understand better if they knew her mindset. “A week after I arrived in Italy, I had a flashback in the market in the small town I was in.” Pausing to take a breath she looked to Linc and Creed for support on either side of her. “It wasn’t pretty. Anyway, it made for a rough couple of days and a lot of soul searching so I went into Florence to a library and searched out psychiatrists for trauma victims.”
She hadn’t been looking at them during the explan
ation so she was startled when her momma’s hand reached out squeezing her own in support to continue.
“I found one. A renowned psychiatrist from London had opened an office in Florence just last year. So I called before I could chicken out and I had an appointment for that same day because he’d had a cancellation.”
“What is his name?” Andrew asked her. Knowing him the way she did he was probably going to research him, dig up his background a little bit or bring him in for a full-on interrogation. Her dads used to own their own PI firm, now they just liked to dig up the goods on people for shits and giggles.
“Dr. James Schroder. He’s a good man, Daddy. He did right by me. It took him less than a minute after meeting me to know I needed his assistant in the room with us. That he terrified me for more reasons than being a complete stranger. He gave me a pen and paper to write down all of my information so he could search my case without me having to pour my soul out before I was comfortable.” She stopped to take a drink and moisten her dry throat. “I saw him three to four days a week, and for the first month, his assistant was always in the room with us. She would sit beside me and work on anything she had to do on her laptop with headphones in so she didn’t make me uncomfortable by listening in on us. Not that I ever actually spoke.
After just a few sessions Dr. Schroder figured out some simple methods to help me get my emotions out. One day he presented me with a few journals to write down my thoughts and feelings. Gave me an outlet without having to divulge my soul. I was also handed a sketch pad that he told me to do whatever I was happy with and that he wouldn’t ask me to see any of it until I was ready.”
“And did you? Show him I mean? Did you voice any of your fears to him?” her momma asked her, sounding slightly desperate to know that she’d spoken to someone.
“Not until a few days after I sent you that postcard. I have horrible nightmares, and for the longest time Linc and Creed’s voices would pull me back when things got too hard. Too painful.” She had to look away. The pain on her parents’ faces was too much to handle.
