‘Right.’ Sue leaned forward and kissed her lightly on the cheek. ‘Be careful, won’t you?’
‘I’m always careful these days,’ Ashley said. ‘But maybe that’s part of the problem.’
* * *
As Ashley stepped off the veranda of Madame Dupont’s house her phone pinged the arrival of a text message. She whipped it from her pocket, relief flooding through her as she saw that it was Haydon.
I’m OK, no need to worry. Just need time to think.
* * *
Where are you?
* * *
Not far out. I’m OK, don’t worry.
* * *
Can we talk?
* * *
Not sure I’m up to it yet.
* * *
I think it’s important that we do. We’ve discussed the girls but we haven’t discussed us.
There was no reply. Ashley left it for a moment as she walked in the direction of his villa. The lights were out so she guessed that he wasn’t there, but in the absence of any other good ideas, she was heading over to check anyway. As she walked she sent another text.
I’ll only spend the whole evening looking for you and I won’t stop until I find you and we talk this through so you might as well tell me where you are.
Another pause. She was about to tap out another message when his reply finally came through.
I’m at the beach. Our bit.
* * *
OK. Wait there, I’m on my way.
Ashley put away her phone, changed direction and picked up the pace.
Twenty minutes later she found him. He was sitting on a rock at the edge of the sand, staring out to sea where the silver orb of the moon left trails of diamond dust scattered over the gentle waves. The shadow of a single boat bobbed on the horizon, strings of lights around the mast and boom reflecting onto the black ocean it danced upon, the faintest sounds of music from that direction echoing across the bay. Perhaps there was some sort of party going on aboard, but it was only the vaguest thought running through her head as he turned at the sound of her footsteps.
‘Mind if I join you?’ she asked.
‘Would it make a difference if I said yes?’
Ashley baulked. She’d expected him to be confused and she’d been prepared for rejection, but she hadn’t expected hostility.
‘Sorry, I’ll—’
‘I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have said that. Of course I don’t mind.’
‘You don’t really mean that, though.’
‘I don’t know what I mean. I don’t know if I even recognise my life any more, let alone how to say the right things to people.’
‘But you handled it so well… back there with Molly and Ella…’
‘That’s my job, though, isn’t it? I could hardly freak out. I’m their dad, and if they can’t rely on me then who can they rely on?’
‘But I thought…’
‘That I was OK? So did I at first.’
Ashley perched next to him. The rocks were sharp and cold and she wriggled to get comfortable.
‘Would you rather have never known?’
‘Ignorance is bliss they say, which would be fine, but I can’t go back to being ignorant now, so I can’t say whether I’d rather not know because I do know. You know?’
‘Yes.’ Ashley followed his gaze out to sea with a small smile. ‘I’m not expecting anything from you. That’s not why I told you.’
‘You might not be but the fact remains that I am morally obliged to offer… well, things. All sorts of stuff.’
‘No you’re not. Molly and me have got by just fine this far.’
‘Which is the first and biggest injustice. You’re hardly making me feel better about all this by saying that. I should have been there for her – for you.’
‘It wasn’t your fault.’
‘It wasn’t yours either.’
‘True. We can’t change that now; we can only go forward.’
‘Which means?’
‘You’re doing it now. You’re thinking about it and you recognise that you have new priorities, which is the only way you can start.’
‘And then what?’
Ashley paused. ‘I don’t know. I suppose we’ll just have to take it one day at a time.’
‘But what am I supposed to do with all those days? What’s expected of me? I can’t be a part of Molly’s life and Ella’s life in the way I should because there’s just no way I can split myself fairly. Who do I prioritise? Molly, who’s owed so much lost time, or Ella, who will feel rejected and overlooked if she thinks I’m giving too much time to Molly?’
‘I don’t know the answer to that either. I suppose eventually things will just work.’
‘And if there’s… if there’s us,’ he said slowly. ‘If we happen, if we end up living together… I don’t know if Ella will be able to deal with that. She’ll feel more pushed out than ever because it will mean that Molly has me there all the time and all she’s got is the occasional weekend. Not even that when she moves to London with her mum and Kevin. I’ve been so scared of losing Ella and the irony is she might be losing me.’
‘That’s not your fault and she’ll understand that.’
‘But will she?’
Ashley wanted to ask if that meant there was still a chance for them, but as she framed the words his next sentence left them forgotten again.
‘Janine’s expecting.’
‘What?’
He nodded. ‘Ella already knew before we came on holiday but Janine had sworn her to secrecy until she’d worked out how to tell me herself. Poor Ella – it must have been so hard for her not to say anything. I can’t believe Janine would do that to her. But it explains why the news about Molly hit her so hard. She must feel like she’s being pushed out in all directions – first a new baby for her mum and Kevin, and then Molly.’
‘So when did you find out about Janine? Did Ella tell you?’
‘No. She’d never do that if her mum had asked her not to. Janine just told me when I phoned her. She said seeing how we were sharing secret kids she ought to tell me. I think she was trying to have a pop at me, truth be told, but once it was out I think she regretted the way it happened. But it’s out now so…’
‘God. I don’t know what to say.’
‘It’s been one hell of a night, that’s for sure.’
‘How do you feel about it?’
‘Numb. My brain tells me I ought to be able to feel something but I can’t seem to make sense of anything. Like there’s so much to take in that it’s all a big jumble and I can’t focus on any of it.’
Instinctively, she reached to lay a hand on his. ‘If you want to talk, I’ve got all the time in the world.’
He looked at her, the moonlight casting shadows on his face. There was pain in his eyes and she wished she could take it from him.
‘I don’t know that I want to talk,’ he said. ‘I’ve done so much talking already I’m sick of it.’
‘What can I do to help then? Name it.’
He said nothing. Reaching across, he took her face in his hands and planted a soft kiss on her lips. Then another, and another, until they were kissing like they might never kiss again. He pulled her close, his scent and the smell of the ocean mingling, and as fireworks erupted from the boat out on the glittering sea, they fell to the sand together.
Chapter 22
Ashley woke as the sun burned through the cotton curtains of her room. Prising her eyes open she took a moment to wake properly before a slow smile crept across her face. On the other bed beside her Molly still slept, exhausted from the party that hadn’t broken up until the early hours. Ashley couldn’t recall now exactly what time, but she could remember wondering how on earth the hundred-year-old Violette Dupont was managing to stay awake.
Haydon had been there, by her side, and hardly a moment passed when he wasn’t touching her or reaching for her hand or sneaking a surreptitious kiss. When they’d made love on the beach it was like they’d bo
th opened the gates to their hearts. From now there would be no secrets, no doubt, only a growing conviction that they were meant to be. They’d walked back up to Villa Marguerite hand in hand in silence, but they didn’t need words. At the house nobody asked them where they’d been or why they’d taken so long to come back but there’d been plenty of knowing smiles. Even Molly and Ella knew better than to ask. It had been simultaneously the worst and the best night of Ashley’s life and this morning as she woke she could barely believe any of it had actually happened.
Her phone bleeped a message and she rolled over to retrieve it from the bedside cabinet. It was from Haydon, and yes, it meant that the previous night had definitely happened.
Hey gorgeous. Are you awake?
* * *
Hey yourself. How are you feeling?
* * *
Like I need to see you. What time are you planning to leave today?
Ashley had been so happy when they returned to the house the previous night that she’d tried to forget the next day would see them parted as they returned to their own distant parts of England. It didn’t seem fair that they’d only just found each other to lose one another so soon afterwards.
Maurice wants to have lunch and then set off. How about you?
* * *
We have to go earlier. Got to get the car back to the hire place and then catch our flight.
* * *
Bugger.
* * *
Last night was incredible. Not all of it, obviously. You know which bit I mean. I can’t stop thinking about you.
* * *
Me too. You want me to come over to your place?
* * *
Now?
* * *
I’m awake and so are you. We might not get many opportunities to see each other in the next few months.
* * *
I’m getting dressed now. Come when you want but I can’t guarantee that Ella will be asleep.
* * *
It’s OK. I just want to see you.
* * *
It wasn’t particularly early but the Dupont house was strangely silent compared to every other morning she’d spent there. It was no wonder when Ashley considered how late everyone had stayed up partying. She’d left the place looking as if someone had loaded food, crockery and cutlery into a giant party popper and set it off, and that was despite sporadic efforts to clean as they went along. If she’d ever wondered just how debauched a centenarian could be she had her answer now. But there was no time to worry about the mess, because she wanted to get to Haydon before the rest of the world woke and demanded her attention. Silently slipping from the house, she strode across to his, the morning shiny and bright and new.
He was waiting at the gates, taking her into his arms before they’d spoken even a word and kissing her with such fire it left her breathless.
‘You smell amazing,’ he said.
‘It’s called a shower.’ Ashley raised her eyebrows and he laughed again.
‘Come and sit on the veranda for a while.’ He pulled her by the hand towards the house. ‘You want a coffee?’
‘I’m good. I don’t want to let you out of my sight, even to make coffee.’
On the love seat overlooking gardens painted yellow by the climbing sun, he pulled her close and she nestled into him.
‘I’ve been thinking,’ he said. ‘And I don’t want you to say no this time because I’m Molly’s dad so I get a say officially now.’
‘OK.’
‘I want to help her get into music school.’
‘But we talked about the one where your friend worked and—’
‘The one she wants. In York. I want to pay the fees.’
Ashley sat up to face him. ‘But you can’t! They’re astronomical! And you have Ella to support already!’
‘Did you think I wasn’t going to offer financial support to Molly too now that I know?’
‘That wasn’t the reason I told you – we’ve managed fine for all these years.’
‘I know it wasn’t, but what kind of bastard would I be if I didn’t? Besides, she has incredible talent and we mustn’t let her waste that.’
‘You really think so?’
‘Of course I do! Don’t you?’
‘Well yes, but… I’m her mum, aren’t I? We always think our kids are the best.’
‘Let me tell you that even when I didn’t know Molly was my daughter I was blown away seeing her play. She’s fantastic, Ash, and she needs the best place to nurture that. So I was thinking… maybe you wouldn’t mind so much if I came up to York to take a look around the school and help you get her enrolled?’
Ashley raked her teeth over her lip as she gazed at him. She was in no doubt that he meant every word of what he said and it would make all Molly’s dreams come true. But it was a huge ask and she was so used to refusing help from others that it was hard to shake the notion that she ought to refuse it now. Stubborn, Sue had called her, and perhaps she had a point.
‘You know it makes sense,’ he said, seeming to read the conflict in her head.
‘What about Ella?’
‘When the time comes for Ella to choose I’ll work something out with Janine for her, just like I’m doing with Molly now. Besides, Janine’s got that loaded numpty of a boyfriend who’s determined to move them to some luxury flat in London. If he’s serious about being a part of her life as he keeps saying he is then he’ll have no trouble sticking his hand in his very deep pockets too.’
Ashley couldn’t help the giggle that escaped her. ‘You don’t like him much, do you?’
‘I’m sure he’s a decent bloke. But you know I’m very insecure and how am I supposed to compete with such perfect husband material? Sarcasm and derision are the only weapons I’ve got to fight back with and I have to keep some semblance of self-respect intact somehow.’
She leaned in and kissed him. ‘You have absolutely no reason to feel second best. If it makes you feel any better, I’m glad he’s so perfect because it means Janine won’t be trying to get you back from me and I get to keep you forever and ever.’
He gave her a crooked smile. ‘I don’t suppose that would be so bad then. Maybe I could like him a bit better after all…’
Wrapping her in his arms, he pulled her in and kissed her again, long and lazy, the smell of him and the taste of his lips driving all other thoughts from her head.
Then a sound from behind had them leaping apart.
‘Ella!’ Ashley said, heat rushing to her cheeks. She suddenly felt like a teenager caught in her bedroom with the boy she’d snuck in. ‘Good morning.’
Ella looked as if she couldn’t decide whether to burst out laughing or vomit. She clearly felt as uncomfortable as Ashley for chancing upon her dad in what might have been the first flush of foreplay.
‘Hi, Ashley.’
‘Everything OK?’ Haydon asked, straightening imaginary creases from his clothes.
‘Can I use the last of the milk for my cornflakes? I mean, we’re going home today anyway, so is it OK?’
‘Of course. Go ahead and get your breakfast. Ashley and me will be in to sit with you shortly.’
‘Is Molly coming over for breakfast?’ Ella asked.
Haydon looked at Ashley. Any romantic assignation had already been scuppered so it seemed like a nice idea to get Molly over and have breakfast as a family. Hopefully it would be the first of many, and what a way to start the tradition as the sun rose over the beautiful Côte d’Azur.
‘I’ll go and wake her,’ Ashley said. ‘I think she’d love to come for breakfast.’
If he’d have said so to Ella, Haydon suspected that she would have felt like a replacement daughter had taken her spot. But the fact was, Haydon had somehow, over the past couple of days, made peace with the idea that Ella might move away with Janine and Kevin. He was sure that the new baby, while representing a big shock and upheaval for Ella, would settle them as a family even more. There was no getting away from the idea that Kevin
was here to stay and that he was now as much a part of Ella’s life as Haydon himself was, and as long as Kevin was a good stepdad then Haydon supposed he couldn’t really ask for anything more. He’d still be sad about it sometimes, but the world had changed and Haydon knew now that he had to change with it.
And then there was Ashley and Molly. Whenever they came to mind he tried to temper the building excitement that his own happy ending was on the horizon. He’d learned in recent years that life often disappointed but he was quietly hopeful that this time what had become his normal expectation would be confounded. Ashley was special, and the fact that they already had a daughter together brought them closer in a way that other couples at this stage of a new relationship could never be. Whether that would turn out to be a good thing or not was impossible to say right now, but Haydon was optimistic and filled with determination that this time, with Ashley, he’d get it right.
Molly threw him a bright smile as she passed the coffee pot as they breakfasted out on the veranda of his villa, and hope swelled in his breast again.
‘I’m so excited to get back home,’ she said. ‘Not that I won’t miss being here with you,’ she added quickly. ‘But I want to get the application in for my music course.’
‘If you need help with any of it just shout.’ Haydon poured his second coffee of the morning. ‘I’ve written one or two personal statements in my time so I might be able to give you some pointers. I mean, I’m sure you’re capable of writing one but…’
The Summer Getaway_A feel-good romance novel perfect for holiday reading Page 28
