She couldn’t help herself—she smiled. “I liked it.”
“Oh yeah?”
“Yeah.” Varina held his gaze a moment longer. “We need to talk, don’t we?”
“Probably.”
“Because we’re having sex again.”
“Now?” Campbell nipped at her mouth, rolling his hips in a reminder of how they were still intimately connected. She wouldn’t deny being surprised at the feel of him hardening within her, or how the sensation coaxed her body from sated to stirring with renewed sexual need. While one or two of her lovers had been blessed—or cursed, depending on one’s perspective—with a short recovery period, she had enough experience to appreciate that wasn’t normal. Nor was it normal for her to want again so soon.
“Well,” she murmured, doing her best not to moan as he began moving within her again, “…I meant…more that we… It seems we’re back to having sex. Last night, and now. Not…now.”
Campbell shook his head, lowering his lips to her throat. “No,” he replied, sliding a hand up her belly and palming a breast. “I think now.”
She meant to protest. She really did. But when he dragged his cock from her soaked flesh, Varina whimpered and bucked her hips. “Okay.”
She felt his lips curve into a smile against her skin. “Thank god,” he murmured. “You feel so good. So fucking good.”
Another whimper scored through her lips. She tightened her legs around his waist and surrendered. It was much better than thinking. And goddamn, she was so tired of thinking. Tired of living in her head. She was ready check to out for a while.
So as Campbell pounded her against the wall, she did.
19
He had to tell her.
Varina pulled him over the threshold into the second-floor bathroom and flipped on the light, giving him a full eyeful of her luscious ass. She hadn’t bothered shimmying back into her underwear, so her skin was bared for his exploration. It was enough to distract a saint, and fuck knew Campbell was no saint.
“It’s probably a bad idea to do this before tackling the boxes upstairs,” Varina said, releasing his hand and stripping off her tank top.
His gaze immediately went to her breasts, his mouth directing his feet forward with the intent of sampling one of her nipples. He loved the way she tasted almost as much as he loved the way she felt. And there was so much more to explore.
“Campbell.”
He blinked and dragged his gaze from her nipples to her face, somewhat pleased when he found her flushed. “Sorry. You distracted me.”
Varina shook her head. “Typical.”
“What were you saying?”
“That we’re just going to get dirty again.” Her flush deepened when he arched his eyebrows at her, but she didn’t look away. “I mean upstairs. You still want to help me, don’t you?”
“Yes.” He didn’t want to leave her side. If that meant poring through a dead man’s belongings to find her personal MacGuffin, then he’d do it.
And work on building up his courage in the interim.
The moment he’d opened his eyes that morning, Campbell had been introduced to a new kind of fear. It was so similar to the shadowy beast that had chased him from Rome, yet different in all the ways that mattered. This fear didn’t loom and its source wasn’t ambiguous. Rather, it came with what he’d understood in his dream, the thing that had solidified the moment he’d opened his eyes and found her straddling him.
The dream, like all the others, had seemed real. So real it had taken a few moments upon waking up that morning to remember Varina hadn’t been with him in Rome.
Add to the fact that he now knew he was in love with her, and every breath he took seemed to have new meaning.
“Campbell.”
He blinked and dragged his gaze back up to her face. “Mmm?”
“You’re staring.”
“You’re naked.”
Varina rolled her eyes. “Yeah, and the novelty should be wearing off by now. What do you think?”
“That the novelty will never wear off.”
“About the shower, you egghead.”
“Egghead?” He smirked. “There’s a first.”
“You’ll graduate to asshole with that attitude.”
“I’m already an asshole, whether you call me one or not.” He stepped forward and reached around her, doing his best not to purr when his chest met her breasts. Yet no matter how cool he tried to play it, his cock was determined to throw the game. Still, he couldn’t help but grin at her sharp inhale when his shaft nudged her thigh.
“Let’s get clean now,” he murmured, his voice huskier than he intended. “It’ll make getting dirtier later all the more fun.”
She snorted and slapped at his shoulder. Not the reaction he was going for, which made him flush with equal parts embarrassment and confusion. Perhaps he should stop trying this verbal seduction business before he got ahead of himself. She’d seemed to like it downstairs, but there were a lot of things he liked in the heat of the moment that just sounded wrong in any other context.
“Cornball,” Varina said, shaking her head. Still, she stepped into the shower, and let rivulets of water cascade over her smooth, ivory skin. The look in her eyes was all warm welcome.
Campbell’s lips twitched. “Is that better or worse than an egghead?”
“Equal.” She tilted her head and crooked her finger at him. “Well, come on. If we’re going to shower, let’s do it.”
When a man was accustomed to cold, any sign of warmth felt damn near like paradise, or so Campbell figured. The past few weeks had been nothing but cold. But as he crowded into the shower, his body feeding on the energy she put out—greedy and demanding—he could fool himself into forgetting what the cold felt like.
It didn’t escape his notice that Varina was different too. The woman against him now, the woman whose arms were wrapping around his neck, whose breasts were flush against his skin, whose mouth found his with hunger equal to his own…this woman hadn’t been here yesterday. Something had changed for both of them in the course of a few hours, and he didn’t know what.
He just didn’t want it to stop.
How other people routinely dealt with these heavy emotions, Campbell didn’t know. He felt like a combustible mess. It was better than it had been before and worse at the same time, because now he had more than just himself. Now he had a burning need to slay Varina’s demons, one by one, only compounded by the knowledge that when she found out the truth, he might be among them.
Yeah, he was fucked.
And hopeless. And selfish. Because he didn’t want to think about what came next—how she might hate him when he learned the truth. He didn’t want to consider the underlying fear now brewing at the possibility of something happening to her. He didn’t want to think about that or his nightmare, or anything in between.
He just wanted Varina.
Which seemed to be working in his favor, but assholes could only be awarded so many times before they were called out.
How long they stood under the spray like that, he didn’t know. Campbell had never been a guy just content to kiss a woman with no ulterior motive. With him, every kiss led to the next thing. And while he wouldn’t deny that his cock was very interested the next thing, he found himself enjoying the simplicity of exploring her lips with his. Stroking her tongue, caressing her, feeling the parts of her the rest of him wouldn’t feel if he focused solely on satisfying his own craving.
At last, Varina drew away, hot, ragged gasps crashing against his skin. “Campbell…touch me.” She spread her legs. “Please.”
The question in her voice made his bones shake. He exhaled a slow, choppy breath. “You have to be sore,” he murmured, but his hand proceeded without awaiting his approval. He trailed his fingers over her mound, through the forest of curls until he encountered hot, slippery flesh. He parted her vaginal lips and swallowed her answering moan into his mouth before asking, “Are you?”
“What?”<
br />
“Sore?”
Varina’s eyes darkened and she frowned. “It’s never been like this,” she said. “I’ve never…wanted…”
He maneuvered his thumb over her clit. “I’m glad I can bring it out in you.”
“You do.” She rolled her head back, her eyes falling shut. And for a few seconds, he was serenaded by the melody of her soft gasps while the rest of her—her wet skin, her fiery hair, her expressive face—provided a visual banquet.
But Varina wasn’t a person who submitted or lost control easily. He wasn’t surprised when he saw her assume command of herself again, place thought ahead of pleasure. She braced a hand on his shoulder. “When this is over, we need to have that talk.”
“Which this?” he replied, easing a finger inside her and nearly whimpering at how her pussy drew him in. How she felt clamped around him. “This shower, or the sex?”
“The shower,” she said, opening her eyes. “I…I’m trying not to think about the other thing too much.”
“Ouch.”
She grinned. “I’m living in the moment for the first time since I was a kid. Let me enjoy it.”
“All right.” He dropped another kiss on her lips before trailing his mouth to her chin, down her neck, her collarbone. He licked his way between her breasts to her stomach before he shifted to his knees. By the time he reached her pubic bone, she had tensed. He felt her trembling, which might have been due to the cooling water sprouting from the showerhead, but he somewhat doubted it.
“Let’s save that,” he said, switching off the faucet.
The lack of beating water made her tremors more pronounced, as well as the heady breaths tearing off her throat. “W-what are you—?”
Campbell silenced her with an arched eyebrow. “Are you really asking me that?”
Varina studied him for a long moment. “That doesn’t do much for me.”
“Oh?”
“Yeah. You don’t have to.”
“Has anyone ever done it before?”
She nodded, but the look on her face told a different story. From what he knew of her past—the good, the bad and the ethically ambiguous—her partners had been selfish, if not amoral assholes.
Campbell gave himself a mental shake and refocused. “What don’t you like about it?”
Varina stared at him for a few moments. “It feels weird,” she said at last.
“Weird?”
“Guys don’t like to do that, do they?”
Ah. Now they were getting somewhere.
“Some don’t. Others do. More than a lot of people give credit.” Campbell inhaled. She smelled so good. Heady, all woman. “I think your problem—”
“Oh, so I have a problem, now?”
The corner of his mouth ticked. He had to fight a grin.
“No,” Campbell replied, drawing out the word. “But I know that sometimes women can’t get out of their heads. If you think all guys hate eating pussy, then you can’t let yourself just enjoy it. You’ll be so focused on trying to orgasm, so it follows that you can’t. Sound familiar?”
More staring, this time accompanied by the occasional blink. Eventually, Varina’s shoulders dropped and she released a sigh. “Do I want to know why you know that?”
He shook his head, drawing in another lungful of her scent. “I tell you what,” he murmured. “I’ve been wanting to do this for days now.”
“Y-you have?”
“Mhmm.” Ever since that hint of a taste he’d gotten at Rat Trap. A slight tease of his taste buds, but his cock had been greedy and he hadn’t been in the mood to deny it. “Let me. I’ll stop if you want. If it’s not doing anything for you. But I like doing this.” Campbell grinned up at her. “I love it when a woman comes on my tongue.”
Varina drew in a sharp breath and fisted his hair. He waited to see if she’d pull him away, but she just held—tight, possessive, and he wondered if she was thinking about him going down on other women. Wondered how that played in her mind, if she was jealous, and what that might mean.
Mostly he just wanted her in his mouth. Now.
Campbell waited another beat, then buried his nose and mouth in her mound. He held her when she trembled, his thumbs rubbing encouraging circles into her hips. In hindsight, it would have been better to do this in a bed, or somewhere cushy, particularly since she wasn’t sure if she enjoyed it, but he didn’t want to ruin the moment by suggesting a move.
He began with a kiss against the seam of her pussy, just to get her acquainted with the sensation of his mouth. An answering shudder took her body, which he interpreted as a good sign. Campbell kissed her again, then again with a hint of tongue, and was awarded with a hard gasp.
Then she relaxed. It was almost imperceptible—had he not been watching, he would have missed it. But the muscles under his hands went pliant, and her legs widened for him.
It had been a long time—a damn long time—since he’d teased a woman like this. He’d forgotten how much fun it could be. How much he enjoyed coaxing her, encouraging her, watching her unwind. And never had he been with a woman like Varina. Someone equally confident and vulnerable, someone who didn’t hide behind an identity she’d assumed or a role she had decided to play. She was comfortable in her skin, but she didn’t trust it at the same time.
And he loved her.
That was what made this different—the simplest of realizations, yet it changed everything. It made each gasp sweeter, made her taste richer. When his tongue finally parted her labia and began exploring the line from her opening to her clitoris, he felt her answering cry in his bones. He absorbed each whimper, kept himself from losing his grip on control when she began to rock against him. When the skin under his fingers became fevered, her hold on him tighter, more demanding. He kept to a simple rhythm—drew his tongue from her slit up her soaking flesh, circled her clit without allowing contact, then back again. Over and over until she was pulling on his hair, thrusting her pussy against his mouth and demanding for an unnamed more—a more he was all too happy to give.
Then she gasped and whispered, “Please.”
One beautiful word.
Campbell slipped a hand between her legs and speared two fingers into her pussy. She released a throaty moan as she clenched tight around him, drawing him into her deep, and giving his mouth license to go where he knew she needed it the most.
He’d learned that Varina was overly sensitive to touch—earlier, and last night she hadn’t needed much stimulation to go over. He also knew that too much pressure could break an otherwise fantastic orgasm. So when he turned his attention to her clit, he was gentle. He introduced her to his tongue with a soft pat, and when she mewled her encouragement, he favored her with a lick.
“Oh…oh…”
He teased her like that for a minute, drawing his fingers in and out of her as his tongue flicked her swollen clit. Campbell kept his attention on her face, watching for any sign of discomfort. When none came, he began drawing circles, small and focused, brushing that bundle of nerves here and there, but avoiding full contact until he thought she might combust.
“Cam…Campbell…”
He flattened his tongue against her clit and pressed down.
And she came apart. Her hips bucked, her hands grasped, and her head rolled back. She hit the shower wall so hard she hiccupped, but didn’t seem to notice. Her pussy clenched around his fingers, which had his cock hard and aching with jealousy, but he ignored it best he could. Ignored everything but her—her flushed face, wild, wet hair, and the heady sounds rocking through her throat. How long it lasted, Campbell didn’t know—only that it wasn’t enough. He wanted to spend every day of his life from this one on giving this to her.
They ended up in a tangle of limbs on the tub floor, Varina between his legs, her back against his chest, his arms around her waist.
Finally, she said, “You like doing that, huh?”
Campbell grinned and kissed the top of her head. “Yeah.”
“A lot?”
“A lot.”
“So…you’ll do it again.”
“Mhmm.” He drew her hair over her shoulder, bearing her skin to his mouth. “And again. And again. And again.”
“I…I think I’ll be okay with that.”
“Good. I was worried.”
Another brief silence settled. Then, “We never did shower.”
“No,” he agreed. “I got distracted.”
“Mhmm.” Varina swallowed. “And we still need to talk.”
“Yeah.”
“And those boxes aren’t going to search themselves.”
“I know.”
“But here’s the thing…I can’t seem to find the will to move.” She nudged her elbow backward. “And for that, I blame you.”
Campbell released an appreciative chuckle, but didn’t respond. Instead, he pulled her closer and let himself enjoy the moment. It was as close to perfect as he’d ever experienced. And for the first time in forever, he felt close to happy.
Which terrified him, because he knew it couldn’t last.
Not with so much of it built on a lie.
20
Varina wet her lips and tried to keep from sneaking a glance in Campbell’s direction as she reached for another box. They hadn’t exchanged many words since the shower, and every second that ticked by without breathing life to the things she wanted to say made the thought of broaching the subject much more difficult.
But she knew she had to get past this part, or it would keep growing. The monster in her head—the specter of unpredictability. Her carefully controlled world had too many variables at the moment, and she needed to take back the reins.
Before she could talk herself out of it, she cleared her throat and forced out, “Umm, Campbell?”
For his part, he didn’t even look up. “You’re going to talk about it now, aren’t you?”
“I guess.” And then, to her horror, heat stung her cheeks. “This is about yesterday.”
“I thought it was about us.”
Her throat tightened. “I think the list grew. I didn’t mean for last night to happen. And I didn’t mean to… What I said yesterday was shitty. All of it was shitty. Throwing your…umm…whatever it is you’re going through in your face was maybe the worst thing I’ve ever done.”
Deliverance from Sin: A Demonic Paranormal Romance (Sinners & Saints Book 5) Page 20
