by Megan Green
I’ve become my mother.
My mother wasn’t a bad mother per se. Not in the typical way at least. She wasn’t abusive. I always had food in my belly and a roof over my head.
But my childhood years weren’t happy ones.
My mother had gotten pregnant with me at seventeen. My father—and I use that term loosely—was four years older and handsome as hell. My mother was smitten the moment she saw him. She did everything she could to get his attention, and when she finally did, she ended up with me.
She thought she’d hit the jackpot when she saw the same two pink lines on her test that I’m currently agonizing over. She rushed to my father’s apartment, test in hand, certain that he’d drop to one knee, and they’d live happily ever after with their perfect baby.
Yeah…not so much.
The next day, my mom went back to his place after school to find it empty. He’d split in the middle of the night, not leaving behind a single trace or way to contact him.
And, since that day, my mom has never stopped searching for the man who would change her life.
Man after man after man came into my life throughout the years, and not one of them stuck around for longer than a few weeks.
I could always tell when my mother had met a new guy. She’d come home from whichever bar she’d been at, stars in her eyes and a song in her voice, twirling around the room as she told me that our lives were about to change forever.
The first few times, I believed her. I was so excited about the prospect of having a daddy that I couldn’t see my mother for what she was.
A sad, sorry excuse for a woman who had no way of supporting herself and her child.
Basically…a prostitute.
Whoever her current fling was paid our rent. Whoever she was currently fucking made sure there was dinner on the table. But none of them wanted her. They just wanted the easy lay, the escape from their boring wives and mundane lives, the few hours a week of feeling like they were still desirable despite the belly they’d developed and the receding of their hairlines.
I make no secret of my resentment for my mother.
Instead of pulling herself together and getting a job, showing her daughter how strong a woman could be, she chased men all her life, waiting for the one who would keep her. The day she left town was the best day of my life. It was the day I was finally free.
I wipe my tears, looking down at the clean linoleum floor beneath me.
My floor. In my apartment.
That I lease all on my own. And that I pay the rent for each month without taking a single handout from anybody.
I push myself up off the floor and lean over the sink, splashing some cold water on my face. I meet my gaze in the mirror. My eyes are puffy and red-rimmed, my cheeks splotchy, and my hair is sticking up from where my hand tugged at it. But, looking past all that, I like what I see.
Because I am nothing like her.
I will never be her.
Because I don’t have it in me to quit. I’m too damn strong. I’ve worked too damn hard.
Reaching a hand down, I press it against my still-flat belly. It’s weird now, knowing a life is growing inside there. I’ve never been responsible for anybody but myself. But, as I cradle my stomach, a sudden warmth floods my chest, radiating out and washing over my entire body.
I can do this. I can have this baby. I can give him or her a good life.
And I can do it while I still pursue my dreams.
I haven’t lost anything.
No, I’ve gained so much more.
And I’m going to show everyone I can do this on my own.
I’m not going to be like my mother. I don’t need a man to support me while I raise a baby.
And I’m sure as hell not going to run to a sports superstar and tell him he knocked me up. The last thing I want is to be splashed across the tabloids as a gold digger. And that’s exactly what would happen. Brandon doesn’t want a baby. He’s too busy with his career and playboy lifestyle to raise a kid.
No, I don’t need his help or his money. I don’t need anybody but my family—Charlie, Lexi, Ian, and a few others in town who took me in and got me on the straight and narrow after my mother moved us here my freshman year.
It was a mistake to respond to his text last night. I’d almost spilled everything as soon as I saw his message. I’d felt so fragile, so afraid of what this morning would bring. I’d almost told him I thought I was pregnant. Now, I’m glad I didn’t. There is no reason for him to know. There is no reason to put myself through the sting of his rejection and cynicism. I’m not about to endure months of tests just to prove the baby is his, so he’ll send me a check every month.
Fuck him and fuck his money. I don’t need either one.
My mind made up, I run a brush through my hair to untangle the knots before heading to my bedroom to get dressed. I was supposed to be at the bookstore a half hour ago. Charlie is going to be worried.
I place my hand over my belly, smiling down at the life I now know is there.
We’re going to be just fine, Little Bean. Just you wait and see.
Chapter 4
Brandon
Another win. Another celebration.
Another itch I desperately need to scratch.
I look down at my phone as it chimes, grinning at the message that greets me.
The door is open.
I slide out of the back of the car, tossing a couple of bills over the front seat as I get to my feet. I think I read somewhere that you aren’t supposed to tip Uber drivers with cash, but ask me if I give a shit. I’m so fucking wound up at this point; I’m surprised I even know which way is up. I need a release.
I walk across the street, briefly wiping my feet on the mat before pushing open the front door.
Fucking paradise awaits me.
The lights are dimmed, and a few candles lit around the room cast a faint glow on the walls surrounding me. There’s music playing softly from somewhere in the room.
But none of that matters.
No, the only thing that matters is the gorgeous fucking blonde lying on the couch, two tiny scraps of black lace the only thing covering that body made for sin. As my gaze travels down the length of her mile-long legs, I’m met with the sexiest red fuck-me heels I’ve ever seen. My mouth goes dry at the thought of those sharp stilettos digging into my ass as I pound into her.
Leave it to Jayne to know exactly what I need.
She pushes herself up onto her elbows, her long blonde tresses tumbling around her shoulders. She has it curled exactly the way I like it—wild, mussed, and sexy as fuck.
“I’ve missed you, Brandon,” she says, her voice husky as she sits forward on the couch, her elbows coming to rest on her knees, her arms pressing her tits together in the most delicious way possible.
A hint of her nipples spills out over the top of the barely there lingerie, and my mouth waters in anticipation of their taste.
“Well”—she seductively smiles at me—“what are you waiting for?”
Not. A. Damn. Thing.
My jacket is off before I reach her, the expensive leather thrown carelessly across the room in my desire to have her. She meets my mouth the second it’s on hers, her tongue hot and ready for me, her lips skilled as they kiss and suck at me in perfect rhythm.
Her hand is in my pants, and I’m on top of her before I register it’s happening. I groan, the feel of her soft hand instead of my callous one the most divine feeling on earth.
It’s been too damn long since I’ve been inside a woman.
Not since that night with…
Liv.
The mere thought of her slams the brakes on the lust fueling my body. I feel myself softening in my jeans as disappointment floods through me at the fact that it’s not her hand currently cupping my balls. She never said anything else the other night after her two-letter text despite the multitude of messages I sent her. I racked my brain for hours over what the message could’ve possibly meant, but
I was no closer to figuring her out than I had been before.
What the fuck, Brandon? You had the girl one time. Stop being such a fucking pansy and get your ass in gear with the woman right in front of you.
I throw myself back into the kiss with renewed vigor, pressing my cock into Jayne’s core in order to initiate some friction. But it’s no use. It’s gone.
She pulls back from my mouth, her brows furrowed as she gazes up at me. “What’s the matter, baby?” she asks as she palms my limp dick.
This is fucking embarrassing.
“Uh…nothing. I think I’m just tired. Long time on the road, you know.”
She pouts her lower lip, her slender fingers brushing back the lock of hair that incessantly falls into my eyes. “Poor baby. How about I give you a massage instead? You can get a couple hours of rest, and then you’ll be good as new.” Her voice is a soft purr—gritty, deep, and sexy as fuck.
Any other day, and just those words would be enough to get me hard.
Instead, I can’t stop picturing Liv spread out on the bed before me, her dark hair across her neck as she stares up at me with bright doe eyes, the anticipation of what is to come written across every inch of her face. I can’t stop hearing the soft mewl of pleasure that escaped her lips the second I drove into her.
Jayne’s fingers curl around the flesh of my shoulders, kneading into the sore muscles and pulling me out of my thoughts. I place my hand over hers, stilling her movements.
“I appreciate the offer, Jaynie. But I think I’d better go.”
Her mouth briefly falls open before a very real pout settles across her lips this time. “But you just got here.”
I shrug. “I know, and I’m sorry to bail on you. But I probably should’ve just stayed back at the hotel tonight. I’m beat.”
It’s a lie, and she knows it. Jayne is the only girl I visit on a regular basis—regular meaning whenever I’m in town for a game. She’s safe. She’s fun. And, until tonight, she was one hell of a good lay. Now, I’ve gone and fucked that all up.
She knows I’m never too tired for sex. Fuck, there have been nights I’ve shown up here, barely able to stand after a six-hour game, and still been up for getting down. Tonight was an easy win. I hardly even had to try. And it makes it seven in a row for us, the best opening to a season the Rampage have seen in a decade.
I should be ready and raring to go.
So, what the hell is my problem?
Fucking Tinker Bell.
Jayne continues to pout as I shake out of her grip and reach for my jacket. She pleads with me every step of the way toward the door, throwing just about every sexual scenario she can picture my way in hopes of persuading me to stay. And, as I step out the front door and turn to shoot her a smile before I leave, hoping that I can salvage this disaster for the next time I’m in town and I have Liv out of my system, I see the fury in her eyes at my rejection.
“Listen, Jay—” I start, but she slams the door in my face, the sound of her angry stomps echoing, even through the closed door.
Fuck me. I guess I’d better send her flowers or some shit.
Or maybe a dildo. I’m not really a flowers kinda guy. Yeah, I’ll send her a big cock she can fuck herself with since I wasn’t able to get the job done.
If that doesn’t get me off the hook, I don’t know what will.
But one thing’s for sure.
Next break in the schedule, I need to get my ass back to Maple Lake.
Tink won’t even know what hit her.
Chapter 5
Liv
I hear the front door of the store swing open, and a smile instantly spreads across my face. It’s Lexi’s last night in Maple Lake before she heads back to Seattle, and I’m so ready for a girls’ night, it’s not even funny.
“Liv, you here?” I hear her call out, the thump of her purse hitting the counter, letting me know she’s making herself right at home in her favorite chair.
Most girls prefer to go out to bars and drink when they get together. Not me and Lexi. Nope, we prefer to sit around a drafty old bookstore and get drunk off the scent of books.
And usually a little wine—for me at least.
As a recovering alcoholic, Lexi never drinks anything harder than a Diet Coke. It’s hard for me to picture Lexi in her former life. The Lexi I know is smart, gorgeous, and responsible as hell. I just can’t picture her as the party girl she claims she used to be. But I’ve seen the pictures of the aftermath of the accident. And I’ve seen Lexi retreat into her dark place more times than I’d care to admit. The girl definitely has a past. I’m just glad Ian is helping her get through it.
There will be no wine for either of us tonight though, considering…
I shrug off the thought and step out of the back room, immediately enveloping my friend in a hug.
“Do you have to go back to stupid Seattle?” I whine, sticking out my bottom lip like a toddler. “I miss you already.”
Lexi rolls her eyes. “Oh, please. You’re so busy with this place; you probably don’t even notice when I’m gone. Besides, I’ll be back in three weeks.”
I scrunch my face in distaste. “I don’t know how you do it. How do you travel back and forth so much? I’d go crazy, having to get on a plane several times a month.”
“Love makes you do crazy things,” she says wistfully, knowing it’s the sort of sappy answer I don’t want to hear.
“Besides, Ian travels even more than I do. I figure, if he can do it, so can I. And, this way, I get to see both my favorite people as much as I can.”
“But I’m your real favorite, right?” I say, giving her a sly wink.
She giggles. “Of course, Liv. Hos before bros and all that.”
I mock offense. “Did you just call me a ho? How dare you, woman. How. Dare. You.”
She gives me another one of her patented eye rolls. “If the shoe fits…”
I playfully slap her. “I think, in order to be considered a ho, one must actually have sex first.”
“Says the woman who tumbled into Brandon’s bed the first night she met him.”
All of the joviality is sucked out of the room the second his name leaves her lips.
I asked Lexi here tonight so that we could spend some time together before she left again but also because I need to tell her about the baby. Lexi is my best friend. And, while I’m convinced I can do this one hundred percent on my own, I know it’ll be a million times easier if I have her in my corner.
Lexi’s hand comes to rest on my shoulder. “Hey, I was just kidding. You know I don’t really think that about you, right?”
I give her a small smile. “I do. It’s just that…” My words trail off.
Now that she’s actually here, in front of me, it’s harder than I expected. I don’t want to see the look of disappointment that’s sure to cross her face when she hears about the predicament I’ve gotten myself into. I’m not this girl. I’m not irresponsible. I’ve never had sex without protection before.
I was just so far gone that night in my need for release that I hadn’t even paid attention to whether or not Brandon used a condom. In fact, until that positive pregnancy test, I was certain he had. I mean, what sort of professional athlete sleeps with God knows how many women and doesn’t bag it up?
Ugh, I’d better add getting tested for STDs to my list of things to do now that I’m knocked up.
But, first…
I lift my gaze to meet Lexi’s, and the genuine concern in her eyes causes a lump to form in my throat.
“What is it, Liv?”
I let out a deep sigh, deciding to just get it over with. Pulling her over to the setup in the corner, I wait until we’re both seated before pinning her with a somber stare.
“I’m pregnant.”
I have to give Lexi credit. Instead of the disappointment I was sure I’d see, her mouth falls open for just a moment before she doubles over in laughter, her hand clutching at her stomach as her loud guffaws echo through the quie
t bookstore.
“Oh my God, Liv. You almost had me there. Can you even imagine?”
I fix my eyes on her, waiting and watching for the moment she realizes I’m not laughing with her. It doesn’t take long.
Her face falls when her eyes open again and find my grim expression. “Wait. Are you serious?”
“As a case of the clap—which, as it turns out, I might have, too.”
“What the fuck, Liv?” The words are nearly a shriek as she levels her gaze at me. “How in the hell did this happen?”
“Well, when two people are horny—”
She cuts me off, “I don’t mean literally. I know how the logistics work. I mean, how did this happen? Who’s the father?”
I raise a brow. “Who do you think?”
Her mouth puckers into a pensive look as she racks her brain. “I have no idea. The only person I’ve ever seen you with is Bran—” Her lips form into a silent O.
“Bingo.”
“But that was months ago,” she tells me, as if I don’t remember every single detail of that night in perfect clarity.
“It was. And, if I had to guess, I’d say I’m probably about three months pregnant.”
“You haven’t been to the doctor yet?”
I shake my head. “Not yet. I just took the test yesterday morning. I’ll call first thing on Monday.”
I can practically see the wheels turning inside her head as she studies me. “The other day, on the ladder…”
I nod. “I’ve had a few other incidents like that in the last couple of weeks, but I just chalked it up to stress and lack of food and sleep, like I said. But your offhand comment about pregnancy got me thinking. And I realized it’d been a while since my last period.”
“Jesus, Liv. I just can’t believe it. What are you going to do?”
I place my hand over my stomach, giving it a gentle rub. “I’m going to keep it.”
The smile that spreads across Lexi’s face is blinding, and she immediately launches herself out of the chair and in my direction. I don’t even have time to react before her arms are around my neck, and my entire upper body is crushed against hers.
