by Linda Apple
I sat back and drank my wine while disturbing decisions formulated in my head.
“Don’t let him know I told you. He may have wanted to tell you.”
“Don’t worry, hon. You did the right thing.” I stood. “More wine?”
He held up his glass. “Sure. Thanks.”
My emotions melted like a puddle around my heart. It was never meant to be, Ty and me. There was a reason for me to come into his life, but it wasn’t marriage. It was for him to realize his dream. As I poured the wine, the phrase came into my mind, others may, you cannot. Marriage was simply not intended for me. On the way back to the porch, I made my decision. Like the heroine in O. Henry’s book, it was time to cut my hair.
****
All night, I tossed in my bed struggling with my decision. I would always love him, but I could not stand in his way. He needed to explore all the possibilities and if, by some chance, he still loved me in my sixties? That thought nauseated even me. It was better this way. Better for him. His parents would be deliriously happy. And he might even get with Cadence. Another nauseating thought. I didn’t want to think of him in her arms. Her beautiful, firm, smooth-skinned arms. How was I going to pull this off and make him believe me?
My answer came later the next afternoon when I received an email from him about the National Geographic assignment.
Hey Baby,
You are never, NEVER, going to believe this. I have assignments (note the plural form of that word) with National Geographic! It is even hard for me to believe. I’m still processing this and I owe it all to you.
There is one problem. I am going to have to stay out of the country. So here are my thoughts, I’ll come home for a couple days in October, we will get married, then you will come with me and we can honeymoon all over Africa and Europe. Wouldn’t that be incredible? What do you say? Why yes, of course! :)
Sorry to rush, but I gotta get this sent before I lose my signal. Love you, babe, and miss you like crazy,
Ty
P.S. Cadence says to tell you hi. She may follow us while I shoot for National Geographic so she can make new contacts for her foundation. You two might end up good friends. Can you imagine that? Having her as a best friend like the other girls? Counting the days, sweetheart.
Well, talk about being handed my ‘out’ on a silver platter. It was too early to leave Mom, and I certainly did not want Cadence to join us on our honeymoon. Shades of Princess Diana and Camilla.
My hands shook as I touched the keyboard and my mind rebelled, refusing to give me the words I needed to type. I closed my eyes and willed my fingers to work. I didn’t want to come across as jealous or cold. I had to be loving and reasonable.
Dear Ty,
My eyes filled and again my mind shut down. I looked at the ceiling and just typed from my heart without looking at the screen.
I am so proud of you. There will be no end to your footprint on the lives of people all over the world. And because of the magnitude of this opportunity for you to share your gift with the world, we have come to an impasse. You cannot live in Moonlight, and I cannot leave my mother at this point in her life. Therefore, after much thought and tears, I am ending our engagement. I love you too much to hold you back. That said, I would be lying, my love, if I said this decision was an easy one. Truth is, this is the hardest thing I’ve ever done. But true love is doing what is good for the other, after all. Therefore, I must let you go.
Please do not answer this email or try to contact me. I will not be talked out of my decision. Go, my love, and change the world. And should life bring you another woman to love, do not hesitate to accept that gift.
I love you with all my heart and soul,
Avalee
Fifteen minutes after I hit send, my phone rang. It was Ty. Writing the email took all my strength. I couldn’t talk to him. Not now. Not for a while. I turned my phone off. I dreaded telling Momma and my friends about this. But I’d have to and soon. For now, all I wanted was a long, hot soak in the tub.
****
Twenty minutes into my soak, a knock sounded on the bathroom door. Sweet mother of pearl, couldn’t a girl have some privacy?
“I’m in the bathtub.” I made sure irritation fringed my voice.
“Well, then,” Scott said from the other side as he jiggled the doorknob, which was unlocked. “Close the shower curtain, because you and I are going to have a little chat.”
“Oh, for heaven’s sake, can’t it wait?”
He walked in giving me a nanosecond to jerk the shower curtain closed. “No.” He reached through the curtain and set a glass of chardonnay on the tub’s edge, then sat on the toilet. This simple gesture had me blubbering in an instant.
When my emotional storm had passed he said, “Why? Because of our conversation last night? Please tell me it isn’t.”
After a gulp of wine, I answered. “Partially, but his email today was all the confirmation I needed to…” I took another drink “…end it.”
“Avalee, honey, you’re killing him. He is frantic. I’ll bet he’s called everyone in Moonlight.”
If Scott had stuck me in the heart with a butter knife, it couldn’t have hurt any worse. I stuck my hand out. “Would you hand me my towel?”
“Here.”
I stood and wrapped the towel around me before pulling the curtain back. When I stepped out of the tub, I had to admit I was thankful for the comic relief at seeing Scott on the toilet. I held my glass out. “Be a good boy and get me another. I’ll be down after I dress.”
To my chagrin, when I walked into the family room, there sat Lexi, Scott, Molly Kate, and Momma waiting like a jury wanting an explanation. I sure didn’t want to have to face them while it was all so fresh and painful, but maybe it was best to get it over with.
Scott handed me my glass and said, “He called them all.”
Of course, Lexi was the first to speak. “Have you lost your ever-loving mind?”
Molly Kate stood and crossed the room. Kneeling beside me she asked, “Honey? What happened?”
How to explain this? I had joined in with Ty’s dream and it was happening. By experience, I also knew what it took to make it in this world and the fewer commitments the better. I couldn’t go with him until I was absolutely positive Mom’s health was strong. I took the plunge and explained my reasoning. I finished by reminding them of my strong conviction how love isn’t always convenient and it often involves sacrifice for the other’s good.
No one said anything until I finished. Then Lexi daubed her eyes. “That’s beautiful, Avalee.”
“Would y’all help me with Ty?” I looked each person in the eyes. “Help him to understand. I can’t talk to him. Not now.”
Scott put his hand on my shoulder.
I looked up at him. “Would you help Ty?”
“Sure, hon.” He patted me and walked to a nearby chair. Mom just looked away without saying a word. I felt positive I’d get an earful from her when everyone left.
“Well, y’all,” I slapped my lap and stood. “I need to write Jema and tell her. And then I’m calling Skye and Glen.”
Momma sniffed and tears filled her eyes. “I love those kids. I loved having grandchildren. I know what you are doing is for Ty’s good, but I’m sure going to miss those kids.” She pulled her hanky from her pocket and wiped her eyes.
So that’s what was bothering her. I hoped and prayed our relationship with Skye and Glen was strong enough to weather this storm. For all of our sakes.
Chapter Twenty
Love never fails. Hope never gives up.
~Tyler Jackson
Ty stared at his laptop screen for the hundredth time trying to understand exactly what had happened. He wrote with incredible news and she broke off their engagement? And now she wasn’t talking to him. Here he was a half-world away. He couldn’t just jump in his car and go fix it.
Cadence waited in the hotel lobby for him to go with her on a shoot, but he couldn’t think. He flopped back on the
bed. The pain was too much.
Someone tapped on his door. Cadence called from the other side, “Ty? Are you ready?”
He stood, wandered over, and opened it.
Cadence drew her eyebrows together. “Ty? What’s wrong? You look awful.”
He felt his eyes grow warm and turned away. He wanted to answer and say nothing was wrong, but he couldn’t get the lie out of his mouth. He walked to the desk and sagged in the chair. The words wouldn’t come. Only tears.
“Ty?” She strode across the room. “What happened?”
He handed her his tablet. She silently read and then tossed it on the bed. Kneeling down beside him, she said, “Oh honey, I’m so sorry.”
“Can you make sense of,” he flung his hand toward Avalee’s email, “of that?”
“I think so.” Her voice barely above a whisper. “Yes, I think I can.”
He wiped his face with his palms. “Then explain it to me.”
“She is getting out of your way.” She stared up at him. “And I think it is beautiful.”
“Beautiful?” He shook his head. “Then why do I feel like I’ve been whacked by a baseball bat?”
“Because you thought you could have both. But you can’t. I know.” She rose and stepped to the bathroom where she wet a cloth. “Here.” He took the cool rag and buried his face in it. “But sometimes these things work out for the best.”
“What good could possibly come from this?”
A slight smile formed on her lips. “Time will tell.”
****
Ty channeled his hurt and longing for Avalee into his shoots. She was true to her word. She hadn’t answered her phone or contacted him in four weeks. He spoke with her friends, even Scott, but they offered no hope. Instead, they advised him to focus on this amazing opportunity, and didn’t he know how hard some people worked all their life and never caught a break? Clearly, Avalee had coached them, but Scott had proved to be a real ally. He kept reminding Ty to give her time, for him to work hard, and prove she wasn’t a barrier to his success. Sounded good. Now if only he could get a grip on his heart. He still felt like his feet had been knocked out from under him. Since the day he’d received Avalee’s email, Cadence had been very understanding and attentive. He enjoyed the platonic evenings they spent in his room or in hers discussing the next day’s work. She often brought a bottle of wine and appetizers. The wine helped soothe his shattered nerves and helped him to think, plus he enjoyed her company.
He had an important shoot to organize and thought about Cadence. They needed to discuss it. But the real truth of the matter was he needed her to soothe the ache he felt after listening to Avalee’s voice on her voicemail. He dialed Cadence.
“Hello, Ty.”
“Hey.”
“Is anything wrong? You sound kinda down.”
“Same old stuff. Hey listen, how about supper tonight? We can talk about tomorrow.”
A few seconds passed before she spoke. “I have a better idea. Come to my room. I’ll have something to eat here. It is always so loud in a public place.”
“Okay, sounds good. I’ll bring wine.”
“No, I have plenty. Just be here in say, thirty minutes?”
“Thirty minutes then.” He disconnected the call and tried Avalee once more. And once again, he listened to her voicemail recording. This time it made him angry. Didn’t she know what she was doing to him? All this nonsense about this being for his own good was crap. He was dying inside. And she didn’t even have the decency to talk to him about it. Sure, he’d told her over and over in emails, which she never answered. He threw his phone on the bed and went into the bathroom to shower.
Thirty minutes later, he knocked on Cadence’s door.
“Come in. It’s open.”
He stepped in and froze. His brain lost communication with his feet. He couldn’t move. Every particle of his awareness stared at the sight before him. Cadence stood before him like a Venus dressed in a thin white satin gown. The dress’s low cut neck exposed more of her breasts than it covered. Her thick blonde hair cascaded over one shoulder in waves. “Don’t just stand there, Tyler. Come on in.” She step back, causing a slit up the side of her dress to reveal her thigh and hip.
He knew he should turn and walk away. Cadence’s intentions were clear. He couldn’t do this to Avalee. A slow burn rose inside him. On the other hand, why couldn’t he? After all, she’d dumped him. Even worse, she continued to give him the silent treatment. Well what about him? Why was he concerned about her? He walked in.
Cadence turned and swayed to the bar. He swallowed as he fixed his gaze on her backless dress, cut down past her waist. She glanced over her shoulder and smiled. “Red or white?”
“Red. Thanks.”
She took her time pouring, then casually turned around giving him time to ogle her every curve, the swell of her breasts, her full lips and the desire burning in her eyes.
“Here.” She glided to his side. “This will relax you.”
“But…what’s…I?”
She pushed the glass to his lips. “Shhhh. It’s okay. Drink.”
He swallowed the cabernet. Its smooth, earthy, liquid soon anesthetized the thoughts swarming his mind. Cadence linked her fingers with his and led him to a table where supper waited. “Sit.” She took his glass and filled it again. “Here you go. Now drink up. You’ll feel much better. She sat across from him and leaned forward, giving an amazing view of her perfumed cleavage. “Ty, you have been so unhappy. It is breaking my heart.” She watched him as she sipped from her glass. “You are an amazing man, and you do not deserve to be treated the way Avalee has treated you.”
He finished his second glass. No he didn’t.
Cadence rose like smoke curls from a fire, then walked behind him and massaged his shoulders. She leaned over and whispered in his ear, “You are so tense.” Her breath against his skin was hot and moist. Ty felt every muscle in his body respond to her touch.
She stepped around in front of him and held out her hands. He took them and stood as she pulled him into an embrace. He ran his hands over the clinging silky material, feeling her curvaceous body. He wanted her. In a fevered movement, he kissed her, over and over, hard and deep. Each kiss fueled by his anger, his pain, his longing.
Cadence held him tight against her and pulled him down on the bed. He slipped her dress off one shoulder and admired her body. She lifted her face to his. “Make love to me.”
He closed his eyes and covered her mouth with his. Passion and desire throbbed through his body just like it had on the swinging bridge with…Avalee? What was he doing? He loved Avalee. He didn’t want Cadence. He wanted Avalee. Pushing off of Cadence, he bolted to his feet and ran his hands though his hair. “I can’t do this. Cadence, god, I’m sorry.”
She propped up on her elbow and watched him. Then in a raspy voice said, “I understand. Really, I do. But I’m here, baby, ready, when you need me.”
Ty watched as she languidly drew her dress back on her shoulder. His heart pounded and his body ached. She stood and ran her finger down his jaw line. “Hungry?”
That was the understatement of the century. He had to get out of there. “No. Listen, I’ll draw up some ideas, and we will discuss them over breakfast.” He turned and strode out. That was close, too close. When he got to his room, he collapsed on the bed and pressed his fingers against his temples. Why him? What did Cadence see in him when she could have any famous, sophisticated, rich man she wanted? He was a nobody and couldn’t offer her anything unless she had a fondness for boxed wine, take-out food, and noshing on popcorn while watching I Love Lucy reruns. Like Avalee. The very thought of her name sent a stab of pain through him.
He got to his feet, plodded to the bathroom, and splashed his face in the sink. Cat and mouse. That had to be it. She liked the game of pursuit and should she succeed, he’d be history in no time. Avalee had saved him—again—and she didn’t even know it.
****
The following two
months Cadence didn’t let up and wasn’t covert in her intentions. When he was tired or the loneliness showed in his eyes, she was there with wine, a seductive voice, fleeting touches, and offers of comfort. At times, her offers sounded pretty darned good. He knew there was only one way to end the barrage of constant enticement, especially while they were taking a break in Greece. He had fulfilled his obligation to her and decided against her following him on his National Geographic assignments. When he made this decision, the memory of his email to Avalee about Cadence following them on their honeymoon flashed through his mind. On their honeymoon for crying out loud. He slapped his forehead with the palm of his hand. Stupid—slap—stupid—slap—stupid!
Cadence took his leaving her behind very pleasantly. She said she understood and gently kissed him. “Goodbye, Tyler Jackson. Avalee is a fool. And should you ever change your mind, you have my number.” He nodded, turned, and left.
Late in the evening, he packed to leave Santorini and fly to Florence, Italy. He hoped to connect with Levi and Jema while there. He needed the feeling of being home. When he finished, he slouched in the chair, took a bottle of Ouzo, a potent anise-flavored liquor he’d come to appreciate during his stay in Greece and poured it in a glass. After a couple of drinks, he mulled over his idiocy through the haze of the aperitif. He ruminated over the past months and remembered Scott’s advice, give her time, focus on your jobs, and prove she isn’t a barrier to your success. Hadn’t he given her time? He’d focused and National Geographic was happy with his work. Being without her was more of a barrier to his success than being with her.
He set his glass on the table and wandered to his hotel room balcony. Leaning on the rail, he stared at the Mediterranean Sea and pictured Avalee’s face. “Ava, I’ll prove myself to you.”
When he returned inside, he wanted to journal his thoughts from the evening, but true to his habits, he’d already packed and had everything ready to go. He rummaged around the room and found a sheet of paper to write his thoughts and then transfer them to his computer after he arrived in Florence. He finished his entry with, Please, baby, don’t give up on us.
