Now it all made sense. Almost from the beginning of his return to Esperanza, he’d cozied up to her as though trying to worm his way into her heart. Well, he’d succeeded. She loved him more than she ever believed it possible to love a man. And yet, she refused to be leg-shackled to someone who couldn’t return the same depth of feeling. If she wanted that sort of artificial marriage, she could find it in Denver. At least if those wealthy society men didn’t help their wives, they provided servants to help carry the load. She’d do well to return to the city as soon as possible.
She exhaled a long sigh and stretched to get the kinks from her back. Maybe she was tired from the camping trip and coming back to resume her many chores here at the boardinghouse.
Yet in the back of her mind, she’d always feared this was Tolley’s motivation. He wanted her to abandon her lifelong dreams so he could fulfill his own. His kind deeds for Mrs. Foster notwithstanding, he was still the selfish, thoughtless boy he’d always been.
The sounds of the piano being badly played came through the kitchen door. Tolley sometimes did that when he awaited her in the parlor, as though impatient for her to finish her work so they could talk. Always before, she’d thought his clumsy playing charming. Now it seemed an insult to everything that mattered to her. If he’d simply helped her wash dishes, they could’ve talked all this time. She hurried to finish her work in the kitchen and marched through the dining room toward the parlor.
* * *
At the sound of the kitchen door swooshing open, Tolley spun around on the piano stool, his heart just about bursting with love for the lady marching through the dining room toward him. Except that she wore a fierce scowl on her pretty face.
He rose to greet her, but she pushed him into a chair and stood over him, her fists bunched at her waist.
“Did you tell Mrs. Foster you wanted to marry me to please your father?”
The rage and hurt in her eyes bewildered Tolley. Where had this come from?
“Yes, but—”
She slipped her engagement ring from her finger, grabbed his hand and slapped the ring into his palm. “I thought you’d changed, but you’re still the selfish boy you always were.”
She hurried from the room before he could gather his wits. What on earth just happened?
Numbly, he did his usual rounds of checking the downstairs doors and windows before dousing the lamps and heading up to his room. He used the back stairs, and as he passed Laurie’s room, he could hear her crying. He’d never done well with weepy women. In fact, his sister and the Eberly girls never cried much at all. But Laurie’s racking sobs tore at his heart.
“Laurie?” He tapped on her door.
Mr. Parsley poked his head out of his room. “Do you mind waiting until I vacate the premises before you engage in—”
“That’s enough!” Suddenly Tolley wanted to hit something, and Mr. Parsley’s face seemed a handy target. Instead, the face of his Boston mentor, Reverend Harris, came to mind, along with some of his wise words from Proverbs. Answer not a fool according to his folly, lest thou also be like unto him. “Go back to bed, you old grouch.” Under the circumstances, it was the least foolish answer he could manage.
While the man huffed with indignation, Tolley continued to his room, where he experienced another fitful night of thinking about Laurie. Could this be about her music, about teaching in Denver and giving concerts? Had she counted the cost of marrying him and decided giving up her dreams and staying in Esperanza wasn’t worth the sacrifice? If so, then she’d simply made up an excuse for breaking their engagement.
All he knew for certain was that he loved her more than words could say, and he’d failed to tell her, failed to truly consider her hopes and dreams, just as he’d failed at everything else in his life. Yet none was as important as wanting to make her happy. For so long, he’d thought of her in a brotherly way and wanted to offer her a marriage of convenience. Yet sometime during these past weeks, that fraternal affection had grown into so much more. From the moment he knelt down on Greenie Mountain to propose, he’d realized how much he loved her.
Maybe tomorrow, if she would talk to him, he could sort this out with her. But in the morning, it was Effie Bean who prepared breakfast for the boardinghouse. Laurie had packed up and gone home.
Chapter Seventeen
In spite of Ma’s protests about taking care of her hands, Laurie went to the barn early on her first morning home to milk the cows, taking over Georgia’s chore. After straining the milk and delivering it to the kitchen, she returned to the barn to muck out the stalls. The hard work couldn’t keep her from sobbing every few minutes. Honestly, what’s wrong with me? She’d never in her life been weepy. Of course she’d never been in love, either. Or had her heart broken.
Ma, Pa and Georgia respected her need for privacy, even though she couldn’t bring herself to explain her tears. Still, their worried looks over meals caused her some guilt. To assure them all she’d survive, she began to talk about returning to Denver. What she hadn’t figured out yet was what to do about Molly.
“I’ve written a letter to Professor Gronseth assuring him I’ll be there in September,” she said over breakfast. “Would someone please take it to town today?”
“We’ve all got work to do. This ranch won’t run itself.” Pa cut into a slice of ham on his plate. “If you want it to reach Denver in time, you gotta take it.”
Laurie looked around the table to see Ma and Georgia studiously devouring their food. Was this a conspiracy to put her in Tolley’s path? No, it couldn’t be. After she’d accepted his proposal, she hadn’t had a chance to discuss it with her parents. She assumed Georgia had blabbed the news to them, yet they didn’t say anything. Of course, Pa had made his disapproval of Tolley very clear. Why weren’t they saying something about the situation now?
“Very well, then. Ma, do you need anything from town?”
With the list in her pocket along with her letter to Professor Gronseth, Laurie saddled Little Bit and rode toward Esperanza. Maybe this was better than hiding at home. Laurie had slipped away from the boardinghouse in the night without telling Mrs. Foster. This would give her a chance to apologize. Of course she wouldn’t discuss Tolley with her friend. If he happened to be at the boardinghouse, Laurie would simply refuse to talk to him. She hid her mare behind the house and, finding the kitchen empty, scurried up the back stairs.
“My dear.” Mrs. Foster greeted her with a one-armed embrace. “I worried about you.”
“Please forgive me.”
Seeing the hurt in her friend’s eyes, Laurie shed more bothersome tears, then ended up telling her about the breakup, although not the reason for it. No need to make Mrs. Foster feel responsible or to blame Mrs. Runyan for telling her the truth Laurie had always suspected.
“I’m so very sorry, my dear.” Mrs. Foster sat down in her rocking chair and clumsily picked up her knitting. “I do hope you can work out whatever caused your disagreement. My own romance with the major endured a few ups and downs.”
Laurie nodded politely. This problem would never be worked out.
“By the way, I have some good news,” Mrs. Foster said. “Well, good and sad.”
Laurie knelt beside the rocking chair. “I’m all ears. Tell me.”
Mrs. Foster retrieved a letter from the nearby table. “This is from my son in Philadelphia. When I asked you to write to him after my accident, I had no idea he’d insist I move back there to live with him. Although I love my friends here in Esperanza, I cannot think of a happier place to spend my last days than with my son and grandchildren.”
Laurie sat back on her heels. How would Esperanza cope without Mrs. Foster? What would her piano students do for a teacher? But Laurie mustn’t try to keep her here, since she planned to leave herself. “When will you go?”
“As soon as possible. At least
by September.”
Laurie forbade herself to continue crying. “What will your piano students do?”
“My dear—” Mrs. Foster patted her hand “—you’ve taught them for weeks now. You can take my place here and at the church. Reverend Thomas tells me how inspiring your music is.”
Laurie laughed softly. “He’s my brother-in-law. He’s required to say nice things about me.” Mrs. Foster laughed, too. No need to remind her of Laurie’s own imminent departure.
They chatted for a while longer before Laurie left. As she walked Little Bit toward Mrs. Winsted’s mercantile, she considered what her own departure would mean. Several other ladies played the organ, so church on Sunday mornings would have music. But what of her students? What of Molly Starling and her exceptional talents? Laurie couldn’t expect anyone else to teach the child piano lessons without charge, and no one else in town taught singing lessons.
As she waited for Homer Bean to assemble the items on Ma’s list, she felt the letter to Professor Gronseth burning in her pocket. Even so, she couldn’t bring herself to deposit it in the mail slot at the back of the store, where Mrs. Winsted served as postmistress. Too many questions remained about her future, not the least of which was how she’d live in the same community with Tolley Northam after their broken engagement.
The time had come for her to confide in her parents. Packing up her burlap bag of groceries, she mounted Little Bit and galloped home.
* * *
“It’s no use, Effie.” Tolley sat on the corner of the reception desk. “I’ll pay you for the next month, but I’m closing down the office today.”
Her brown eyes exuded sadness. “I’m sorry it hasn’t worked out for you.”
“If you need a job, I can pay you to help Mrs. Foster until she moves back East.”
“No need to pay me.” Effie waved away the idea. “If she needs help, my May and I can take care of her like we would any neighbor in need.” She smiled. “Like you and Laurie have done.”
At the mention of his lost love, Tolley felt a hot knife pierce his heart. While Effie set aside her knitting and did a bit more dusting and sweeping, he packed his law books into wooden boxes and placed his framed diploma and Colorado law certificate into his leather satchel. He held the door for Effie as she left and then paused to look up at his shingle. Some lawyer he’d turned out to be. Not a single person had even mentioned his occupation, much less needing his services. He upended one of his empty boxes and reached up for the sign.
“What are you doing there?”
At the sound of George Eberly’s gruff voice, Tolley almost fell off the box. What would the old man say to him? Holler at him for hurting Laurie? He’d already beaten himself up enough. What more damage could anyone else do? Sadly, it would be deserved. He stepped down from the box and faced Laurie’s father to take his medicine like a man.
“Afternoon, George.” He tried to sound nonchalant, but his voice broke. “I’m removing my shingle. Might try to find another town where I can hang it.” Someplace where no one had heard about what a cad he’d been.
“Huh.” George stood there, fists at his waist. “You mind doin’ a little job for me before you go?”
Tolley stared at him, jaw dropping. “Um, you mean a legal job?”
George grunted out a laugh. “Sure don’t want no illegal one.”
Tolley gave him an awkward grin. “No, of course not.” Unable to move, he stared at the old man.
“You gonna do this for me?” George waved a hand toward the open door.
“Yes, of course. Please come in.” Tolley grabbed the box and hurried inside. “Come on back to my office.”
Once they were seated on opposite sides of the desk and Tolley held a pencil and a tablet in front of him, he nodded to George. “What can I do for you?” Simply saying the words sent a little thrill through his middle. His first law case!
“Want to draw up my will.” George pulled some wrinkled papers from inside of his shirt. “I’ve got the particulars written down here, what goes to whom and so forth. Need you to sort it out and put it in legal jargon so I can sign it. Can you do that?”
“Yessir.” Tolley smoothed out the page. The awkward handwriting suited a man whose thick, muscled fingers had been shaped by a lifetime of ranch work. “When do you need this?”
“Any time before I die.” He chuckled at his own joke.
Tolley responded with an uneasy laugh. He continued to stare at the page, but none of the information registered in his brain.
“Now, about Laurie.”
Tolley’s head shot up. “Laurie?”
“Yep, Laurie. Poor gal’s heartbroken. Said you proposed so you could get the Colonel’s approval.” He picked at a cuticle. “That true?”
Tolley’s heart ached as he remembered her racking sobs several nights ago. “I can’t deny it would be one benefit to our marrying, but—”
“You mean to tell me you believed all that foolishness all these years when we joshed about a marriage between our families?”
Tolley gulped. In truth, he had believed it. Still did. Maybe George didn’t entertain the notion, but the Colonel had long made his ambition clear when he tried to force Nate and George’s oldest daughter, Maisie, into marriage. But Nate fell in love with Susanna, and Maisie and Doc hit it off from the moment they saw each other.
Somehow Tolley managed a shrug. “Truth is, sir, I love Laurie. Not that I deserve her, but—”
“Why don’t you go tell her?”
Annoyed by the question and the attitude behind it, Tolley sat back and glared at the man across from him. “Because you told me to stay away from her.”
“Huh. Guess I did. Well, I’m rescinding that order. You proved yourself a worthy man by facing those outlaws, risking your life to save those young’uns. Then you go and build a bathroom for Major Foster’s widow so she don’t need to tote water for her boarders.”
Why was it always about something he’d done, either good or bad? Why couldn’t he be accepted “just because”? He already knew the answer. As Reverend Harris had told him, only God gave unconditional love.
“Besides,” George continued, “in spite of me expressing my disapproval of you, you went ahead and proposed...even after Micah advised you not to.”
A shiver ran down Tolley’s spine. Who else knew about the mess he made of his brief engagement?
“Hey, Tolley.” Nate’s voice echoed through the bare office from the reception room.
“Back here.” Glad for the interruption, Tolley stood to meet his oldest brother, whose dusty clothes indicated he’d been working hard at the ranch.
“Hey, George.” Nate shook hands with the older man. “Don’t mean to interrupt anything.”
“You ain’t.” George sat back like he had all day.
“I’ll be quick because I have to get back and help Rand with moving hay. Tolley, Mother sent me to invite you home for supper tonight. Can you make it?”
Knees suddenly weak, Tolley dropped back into his chair. “Yes. Of course. Is everything all right?” Had the Colonel died? No, he couldn’t have, or Nate would be grieving instead of grinning.
“Everything’s fine. Rand and I are moving our families back to our own houses tomorrow afternoon after church, and Mother wanted one of her big family suppers before we go.” He gave Tolley a big-brother smile. “The Colonel is sitting up these days, and she says it’s high time he finds out you’re home. Doc says he has to be in bed at seven, and no visitors are allowed after that, so be sure to get there before then.”
Not only was he invited to a big family supper, but he finally got to see the Colonel. Tolley swallowed a giddy laugh. “Tell her I’ll be there before six.” He eyed George, who wore a pleased smile, and suspicion crept in. “You have something to do with this?”
“Me?”
From the way George blinked and sat back, Tolley felt certain he hadn’t conspired with his family. Yet he dared not trust this invitation entirely.
Nate and George took their leave, and Tolley locked up his office, leaving his books and papers behind. Tomorrow would be soon enough to begin work on George’s will.
So he’d finally get to see the Colonel. He could hardly take in the idea. While he wouldn’t be able to tell his father about a Northam-Eberly marriage, at least he could say he’d taken on his first case as a lawyer. That should be important enough to earn some approval from the old man, even if his client was the Colonel’s old friend.
But as he helped Mrs. Foster with a few chores, spruced up his appearance, fetched Thor from the livery stable and headed south toward Four Stones Ranch, he considered his conversation with George. He wanted to see his father, but he needed to sort things out with Laurie first. It pained him to think of her being heartbroken because of him. Whether or not she agreed to marry him, he must make it up to her before another day, another hour passed by...even if it meant delaying his visit to the Colonel to another day.
Instead of proceeding south on the highway, Tolley turned Thor onto the lane leading to the Eberly ranch, his heart thumping faster the closer he got to the attractive two-story house.
* * *
Tolley! From her upstairs bedroom window, Laurie saw him coming down the lane. He stared her way, so she ducked behind her white lace curtains.
“What’s the matter?” Georgia lounged on Laurie’s bed reading Pride and Prejudice for maybe the hundredth time. The child was such a romantic.
Laurie started to say nothing, which would get her nowhere with any of her meddlesome sisters. “It’s Tolley, and I don’t want to see him.”
“Of course you do.”
Cowboy Homecoming Page 22
