“You have grounds to file a personnel complaint against me,” Jason said. “I wouldn’t blame you.”
“Quit trying to act humble. It doesn’t suit you.” She checked on Ginger in the rearview mirror. The little girl was gazing peacefully out the window. “It’s kind of funny, when you come to think about it.”
“It is?”
“You put the clues together in a logical sequence.” On reviewing his statements while she was showering, Heather had been amused to see how neatly the facts fit into his erroneous conclusion. “I suppose from your perspective you were trying to do the right thing.”
“At this point, I’m not going to defend myself,” Jason said glumly. “I should have approached you in a dignified manner and voiced my concerns. From now on, I assure you, I’ll behave the way a fellow professional ought to.”
Unexpectedly, disappointment twisted in Heather’s stomach. Annoying as she sometimes found his habit of popping up in her private life, she enjoyed it, too. Scenes flashed across her mental screen: Jason smuggling the puppy under his jacket, Jason cycling beside her at the health spa, Jason helping her make angels in the snow.
Above all, Jason making love to her.
She was going to miss his affection. Well, so what? Heather asked herself sternly. This man would depart for another corner of the world whenever it suited his career.
It was only a question of when he would break her heart, not if. She chose to get it over with now. So what if she lost the possibility of a few more delirious weekends and nights together? Giving him up without delay was for the best, in the long run.
She kept reminding herself of that all the way to Serene Beach.
Chapter Thirteen
Jason stood in the hallway, reading Loretta’s chart while medical personnel bustled around him. In the three weeks since his weekend with Heather, the clinic had been transformed from bare-bones to fully operational.
It was now officially open, although without fanfare until next month’s conclusion of the Endowment Fund drive. Since he was so busy he barely slept, Jason didn’t mind the delay.
He did mind the distance that had formed between him and Heather. His world still hadn’t shifted back to normal. He found himself looking for the source of every childish cry he overheard, and aching with memories whenever Heather breezed past him in the corridor.
Still, he’d behaved himself, as promised. He didn’t drop into her new corner office without good reason, and he kept their conversations factual.
All the while, he missed the flash of her smile and the soft luxury of her body pressing against his. He missed the spontaneity of flinging themselves into the snow. He missed the scent of her hair.
Thank goodness there was little time to dwell on what he’d lost. Alexei and Lisa had arrived and taken on patients from the long lists of applicants. Jason’s own early patients had undergone their initial two-week cycles of hormonal treatments, and Eric Wong and his associates were busily growing embryos.
Not just embryos—children, many of whom would develop into boys and girls, active, lovable and inquisitive like the babies on the mural. Like Ginger.
Gathering his thoughts, Jason flipped the chart shut and went into the examining room. Loretta, the white streak standing out vividly in her dark hair, sat with hands clasped. As before, she’d chosen to come by herself.
“How are my embryos?” Awaiting his answer, she pressed her lips together so tightly they turned white.
Jason wished he had better news. “I believe we’ve found the cause of your infertility,” he said gently.
“Is it fixable?”
“Possibly.” He sat on a stool facing her, aware that she deserved the unvarnished truth yet sorry that, at the very least, there wasn’t going to be a pregnancy this cycle.
“Go on,” the public relations director said.
“Your embryos aren’t developing well.” That was devastating news, and Jason hurried to explain. “Often when that happens, it’s because of some genetic problem that can’t be fixed. However, there’s nothing wrong with your embryos genetically.”
“Then why aren’t they developing?” Despite Loretta’s poise, a quaver betrayed her anxiety.
“In cases like this, the cause is sometimes found in the cytoplasm. That’s the fluid around the nucleus of the egg. It contains mitochondria, which provide energy. Basically, the cytoplasm supports the development of the nucleus.”
“Skip the science lesson,” Loretta said. “What’s the bottom line?”
“The next step would be to transfer cytoplasm into your eggs from a donor egg,” Jason said. “The result would be a child with your and your husband’s genetic heritage, along with a small trace of the donor’s DNA.”
“This sounds like science fiction,” Loretta said.
“Not long ago, it was.”
She frowned. “Does it work?”
“There have been successful pregnancies,” Jason said.
“How many?”
He didn’t want to sugarcoat the facts. “I can’t give you odds on this one. We know the technique works, but it isn’t perfected.”
“I’m tired of being a guinea pig,” Loretta said. “I don’t think I can handle this.”
As they discussed the procedure and the small likelihood of success, Jason watched the play of emotions across her strong face. He found himself empathizing in a way that was new to him. “You might want to talk this over with your husband.”
After a brief pause, Loretta said, “He’s left it up to me, and I have to face the fact that enough is enough.” Tears sparkled along her dark lashes, but her chin came up in a gesture of pride. “Five years is a long time to ride a roller coaster. I want to focus on my other options and put this behind me.”
Although Jason hated to see a patient give up, he knew sometimes that was the most sensible choice. “I’m sorry I don’t have better news.”
“At least you’ve helped me understand where the problem lies,” Loretta said. “I’m grateful for that. Maybe I simply wasn’t meant to have a child.”
“Whatever you decide to do with your energies, I know you’ll be terrific.” Jason wasn’t merely being polite. He’d come to admire her talents.
“Thanks. Well, the first thing on my agenda is planning next month’s party to celebrate the fund drive, even though we’re still five million dollars short.” Loretta stood up. “It’s going to be at the yacht club. I intend to organize a terrific bash.”
“I’m looking forward to it,” Jason said. As they shook hands on the way out, he knew she would triumph over this disappointment.
He had better news for his next patient, Eva Lo-Bianco, and her husband, Alfred. Despite the fact that only a dozen viable sperm had been retrieved from his specimen, the technique of injecting them directly into her eggs had resulted in three healthy embryos.
She clapped her hands excitedly. “When can you implant them?”
“We’ll schedule the procedure right away,” Jason said. “Congratulations and good luck.”
Alfred shook his hand firmly. “We’re glad to have this chance, Doctor. Our daughter is looking forward to having a baby brother or sister, and so are we.”
“We’ll do everything we can,” Jason said.
He was rounding the corner toward the nurse’s station when he came face-to-face with Heather. She put out one hand instinctively to brace herself. It molded itself to his chest, burning through the white lab coat.
Without thinking, Jason clasped her hand. It really did feel hot. “You aren’t ill, are you? You might be running a temperature.”
Heather shook her head. Her freckles almost disappeared into her flushed skin. “It must be the weather. It’s warm for April.”
“It might be warm if we were in Boston, but I understand sixty-degree temperatures are considered cool around here,” Jason said.
She shrugged. “It’s nothing. You startled me, that’s all.”
Jason no longer had to worry
that she had taken leave due to some secret illness, now that he—and, thanks to Heather’s new openness, the rest of the staff—knew why she’d really left. On the other hand, she’d proven herself very good at keeping secrets.
“Wait a minute.” Jason couldn’t let her go, not yet. “Your temperature’s up? It’s been three weeks since we were together. You aren’t…”
He stopped in midsentence. A clinic hallway was no place to discuss the possibility that had just penetrated his brain.
They’d made love without using contraceptives. His throat constricted. What an idiot he’d been not to consider this earlier!
Despite his arrogant attitude about her nurse’s situation, he himself had taken no precautions. And he’d been so preoccupied since their weekend together that the prospect of a pregnancy hadn’t occurred to him.
Was there another baby on the horizon, a chubby-cheeked, button-nosed infant with her red hair and his green eyes? One that really would be his?
“No, I’m definitely not,” Heather said flatly. “I’m sorry if this disappoints your desire to perpetuate your DNA.”
“I wasn’t thinking anything of the sort.” What disappointed him most, Jason reflected, was that he had no excuse to get closer to Heather. A pregnancy would have forced the issue for both of them.
“You can let go of my hand now,” she said.
He drew away reluctantly. “You’re still annoyed with me.”
“Whatever gave you that idea?” Despite her sarcasm, Heather didn’t bolt. That, Jason hoped, was a good sign.
“The reference to perpetuating my DNA was my first clue,” he said. “That was never my main concern. How’s Ginger, by the way?”
“Happily settled in Texas.” A wistful expression softened her briskness. “Olive and John are wonderful parents.”
Not as wonderful as we would have been. Before he could voice this sentiment, Jason glanced past her to see Patrick Barr approaching with a clipboard.
“There you are!” The administrator closed in. “I need you to sign something.” He held out the board, displaying an official-looking form.
“What’s this?” Despite the mountains of paperwork he filled out daily, Jason insisted on examining each item carefully. He didn’t recall seeing this particular form before.
“It’s about Coral’s probation,” Patrick said.
“She’s on probation?” He couldn’t imagine what sort of crime a demure young woman like Coral could have committed. “For what, running a stop sign?”
A strangled noise came from Heather, as if she were suppressing laughter. “Not that kind of probation!”
“She doesn’t become a permanent employee until you approve her,” Patrick explained. “She’s been with us for ninety days now. Is her job performance satisfactory?”
“It’s fine.” Taking the clipboard, Jason signed the form.
“Fine?” Heather asked. “That’s all you can say?”
What did the woman want, a crash cart full of praise? It wasn’t Jason’s style. “If I weren’t happy with her performance, I wouldn’t approve it.”
“Everyone stand back.” Patrick stretched his arms protectively. “I think we’re in danger of being run down by our newest whirlwind.”
Along the hall, head down and arms clamped around a stack of charts, barreled Alexei Davidoff. The blond doctor had a habit of charging from point to point that had resulted in more than one collision with other staff members.
“Excuse me,” Patrick said as the man strode between them without looking up.
As if awakening from a dream, Alexei halted, blinked and studied them in momentary confusion. “Ah! I’m sorry, Dr. Barr.”
“Call me Patrick, and it’s no problem,” said the administrator. “I’d been meaning to ask you how you enjoyed the mountains. At least, I assumed you were part of Jason’s morale-boosting strategy.”
Mentally, Jason gave himself a kick. He’d meant to confess all, or almost all, to the administrator weeks ago. Somehow it had fallen to the bottom of his to-do list.
Alexei gave him a puzzled frown. “Mountains?”
“I was going to explain about that,” Jason said.
A nurse signaled the Russian doctor. “Have to go,” he said. “Good to see you, Doctors.”
As he disappeared down the hall, Patrick said, “Explain what?”
“The mountains,” Jason said.
“Yes?” One eyebrow quirked questioningly.
“As it worked out, just Heather and I went,” he said. “It was a very productive session.”
“Productive?” Patrick asked.
Heather stood watching, saying nothing. Apparently, she intended to let Jason dig himself into, or out of, a hole with no help from her.
“We ironed out a lot of problem areas, as I’m sure Dr. Rourke will confirm,” Jason finished.
“You do seem to be getting along more smoothly,” Patrick said. “Wasn’t that a bit awkward, though, just the two of you?”
“We had a chaperone,” Heather said. “My granddaughter, Ginger.”
“Glad to hear it.” The administrator glanced from one to the other of them. “Whatever happened, it does appear to have been good for morale. Thanks for signing off on Coral’s probation, Jason.”
“My pleasure.”
When they were alone again, Jason said, “I appreciate your backing me up.”
Heather regarded him in a way that made his skin itch for her touch. Another moment and the rest of him would spring to full alert as well.
“I’m glad we’re back on an even keel,” she said. “You’ve kept your word to behave professionally.”
That wasn’t the reaction he’d hoped for. He would have preferred a subtle shifting of her body to throw her curves into prominence and a quick intake of breath, all of which would amount to a subtle invitation. Instead, he had to accept that she was perfectly satisfied with the status quo, even if it drove him crazy.
“Yes, well, I’m trying to do what’s right.” Jason finger-combed a rebellious shock of his hair. He could feel it spring back the moment he drew his hand away. “I’d better have Coral schedule a haircut for me.”
“Pardon my saying so, but can’t you schedule your own haircuts?” Heather said. “I don’t know why that woman puts up with your high-handedness.”
“I signed off on her probation, didn’t I?” With a twinge of guilt, Jason reflected that Heather might be correct. Nevertheless, he wasn’t the kind of person to tiptoe around his secretary’s lack of assertiveness. “She needs to stick up for herself and not rely on me to read her mind. If she doesn’t want to make my appointments with the barber, she should say so.”
“She’s timid by nature,” Heather said.
“When I push, she has to learn to push back.” Although Jason was willing to take some responsibility for getting along better with Coral, he had too much on his mind to cater to her insecurities. “I never have problems with Edith, you know.”
“Anyone who tried to bully Edith would be lucky to escape with his life.”
“That’s fine with me,” Jason said. “I’m not trying to dominate anyone.”
“Oh? In my observation, you turn into a human bulldozer when you’re in a bad mood,” Heather said. More charitably, she added, “However, I suppose all doctors can be difficult at times, knowing we’re responsible for life-and-death decisions.”
“I wish Edith would give Coral some assertiveness tips,” Jason said.
“Good idea.” Heather smiled. “I might just suggest it.”
He was about to ask her to have lunch with him when Heather’s nurse summoned her to a phone call. Reining in his impulse to hang around, Jason returned to his office.
He didn’t intend to stay away long, however. He’d made Heather smile today. Hope wasn’t entirely lost.
THE UPHOLSTERED baby book, its cover trimmed in green and yellow and decorated with images of rabbits, already had one photograph slipped between its plastic pages: a wedding
photo of Patrick and Natalie, who stood at an angle that revealed her growing abdomen.
“Trust my sister to pick that one!” cried the honoree as she sat amid a pile of brightly colored wrapping paper on her sister Candy’s sofa.
Heather smiled at her friend’s high spirits. Natalie’s natural optimism had often inspired her during the years since they’d become friends.
Around the small living room gathered co-workers and friends as well as some of Natalie’s relatives. Baby clothes, bedding and toys lay unwrapped on the coffee table, along with a couple of unopened gifts. Almost everything at the baby shower featured a rabbit motif.
What if I’d gotten pregnant in the mountains? That idea kept popping up, despite Heather’s attempts to focus on the festivities around her. She kept thinking that she, too, might have been welcoming a child into her life.
The longing had grown powerful in the days after her weekend with Jason. For a while, she’d half hoped she might be pregnant. She’d been stunned by the depth of her disappointment on discovering that she wasn’t.
This eagerness for a baby wasn’t practical, of course. Heather knew the difficulties of being a single mother and the disadvantages to a child of growing up without a father. Not that Jason would abandon her completely, but she doubted he’d be more than an occasional visitor. And eventually he’d be moving on to another job, out of state or out of country.
He apparently hadn’t given the subject much consideration. When it had finally hit him last week at the clinic, he’d simply asked if she might be pregnant and accepted her answer with little sign of emotion.
Heather wanted to shake him. Didn’t that man realize how special their weekend had been? She’d never known her body could experience such pleasure. And Jason had been a delightful companion, plopping himself into the snow beside her, building a fire, playing with Ginger.
Sure, she appreciated his respecting her desire for space. Yet a part of her couldn’t help wishing he would pursue her.
Oh, why did she keep torturing herself? The one lesson she’d surely learned in all these years was that the only person Heather Rourke ought to rely on was Heather Rourke.
Prognosis: A Baby? Maybe Page 16
