by S. M. Shade
The television in the corner blares with some game show, but everything is just background noise until I hear his voice.
“Mel.” Jeremy rushes in, and I throw myself in his arms. “I’m sorry. I got here as fast as I could.” I don’t know how Justus reached him, but I’m so glad he’s here.
“They think he has pneumonia. They put him back on the ventilator. He’s running a fever.”
His hands smooth down the back of my hair. “He’s a fighter, Mel. Whatever it is, he can beat it.”
Nodding, I sniff, and retreat back to one of the chairs. Jeremy does the same, never letting go of my hand as he sits beside me. “They’re getting x-rays now. Clarissa said she’ll let us know as soon as they know anything.”
The hands on the clock seem to slow to a crawl as we wait for news on our little boy.
“They’re in here,” Leah calls back to someone as she enters the room. I was lost in thought, my gaze fixed out the window overlooking the parking lot, and it takes me a moment to focus on her when she enters.
She rushes over to hug me, and I look up, shocked to see she isn’t alone. Zoe, Landon, Justus, and Dare are right behind her. Landon is dressed in some kind of odd jumpsuit, and my mouth moves before my brain can catch up. “No one is contagious.”
Justus snorts out a laugh.
Landon smirks and reminds me, “The sun is still up.”
“Oh right. Sorry, I forgot about that.”
“No problem.”
“You should’ve seen his old one. It was blue. He looked like a Teletubby,” Justus says, and starts swiping through his phone. “I think I have some pictures.”
Zoe plucks the phone out of his hand and hisses, “Behave yourself or I’m calling Sadie.”
Justus lays a hand on his chest, appearing offended. “She ain’t the boss of me. I do whatev—”
It’s all he gets out before Zoe picks up her phone. Justus plucks it out of her hands. “No need to bother her with any of this. She’s at work, you know, trying to teach people to walk again and shit. Do you really want to interrupt someone’s convalescence?”
Zoe glares at him, and he takes a few steps back until his legs hit the chair. Sitting down, he holds up his palms. “See, all good.” He turns to me. “Jeremy texted us what was going on. Has there been any news?”
“Not yet. You didn’t all have to come.”
“We’re family,” Justus says. “You want Jeremy, you get us all.”
“For better or worse,” Zoe says, and rolls her eyes, snatching her phone back from Justus.
As much as they tease and bicker, it’s clear how much they all love each other. Everyone has a seat, and when Dr. Hanlon enters a few minutes later, a rare smile breaks across his face.
“I’m happy to see Calvin has so much support.”
“How is he?” I jump to my feet.
“As we suspected, it is pneumonia, but we caught it fairly early. So far, he hasn’t had any problem handling the antibiotics. We’re just going to have to wait and see if they are effective in fighting the pneumonia. We’ll know more in a few hours and reevaluate then.”
His voice softens. “This is very common in premature babies, and most come through it fine. I’m confident this is a temporary setback, but with such fragile little ones, we have to remain vigilant.”
“Can I see him?”
“We need to limit his interaction for the next twenty-four hours. He’s vulnerable to any of the myriad of bacteria and viruses all humans carry with them on a daily basis. We’ve moved him to isolation. For the moment, you’ll need to stay on the other side of the glass.”
“I understand.” I manage to wait until the doctor has left before the sobs overtake me.
Jeremy wraps his arms around me. “I know it’s hard. He’s fighting, and we have to give him the space to do it.”
“My baby is sick and all alone in there.”
The nurse, Clarissa, steps into the room and sits beside me, taking my hand. “He won’t be alone. I’ll be right there with him. You know I’ve cared for him since the first day. He knows me.”
“Thank you.”
She nods and gets to her feet. “Give us about thirty minutes or so, and you’ll be able to see him through the glass.”
I manage to calm down, and Leah brings me a drink from the vending machine. “Where’s Tucker?” Jeremy asks Landon.
“Tying up a few loose ends that couldn’t wait. He’ll be here.”
That turns out to be the understatement of the year.
#
Three hours pass while we wait, and I keep peeking through the window to see my baby. It kills me to know he’s suffering, but Clarissa assures me he’s asleep, and not in pain. Finally, Dr. Hanlon returns.
“The antibiotics are working. He isn’t suffering any side effects. I want to leave him on the ventilator until morning, and if we’ve seen enough improvement, he’ll go back to just oxygen.”
Tears of relief run down my cheeks as I thank him, and he pats my shoulder. “You have one strong young man in there.”
“Takes after his mother,” Jeremy says.
I know we aren’t out of the woods yet. My baby is still on a ventilator, but things are looking a little better, so I try to convince everyone else that they can go. “We’ll call if anything changes,” I promise.
Dare takes a seat and stretches out his long legs. The man is a damned mountain. “I’m good here until morning.”
Everyone else mirrors his response.
It’s been so long since I’ve known this feeling. I have a family again.
“Well, if we’re staying, I need food. I’m wasting away over here. Seriously, my ribs are showing,” Justus announces.
“Your ribs always show, you narrow son of a bitch,” Jeremy says.
“I am not skinny! I’ll have you know I have the muscle tone of a young—”
“Boy?” Dare supplies, and everyone bursts into laughter.
“Body shaming is not cool, dude. Just because you look like something The Hulk shit out doesn’t mean you get to judge the rest of us.” He gets to his feet. “Now, I’m going to find a pizza place that’s open late. Any requests?”
“Yeah, get a vasectomy so you don’t pollute the gene pool,” Landon cracks.
“Fuck off, raisin.”
These guys make me laugh in the worst of situations. It strikes me how lucky I was to choose the house next door to Jeremy. I’ve gained so much more than I ever anticipated or even realized until now.
The rest of the night isn’t as hard, mainly because of the periodic reports I get from the nurses. Calvin’s temperature is normal. They were able to decrease the ventilator so he’s mostly breathing on his own. He’s going to be okay.
The sun is just starting to rise and most everyone is asleep except for Dare, who keeps texting with someone. Jeremy suddenly jumps to his feet and turns up the volume on the TV. The blaring headline and accompanying video shock me to my core.
Terrorist Group Connected to Indianapolis Mall Shooting Captured by Feds.
An aerial shot of the True Life compound plays on the screen where a small group of women and children sit on the grass between the trailers and the big house. The women have their hands cuffed behind them. I can’t make out my sister as the camera pans away, but I know she’s there.
It’s the ticker that’s terrifying.
Stockpile of weapons and explosives were recovered, along with plans to detonate a nearby system of coal mines. Two known dead and two more injured. ATF, FBI, and US Marshals are on the scene.
Before the words can really permeate my numb brain, Jeremy’s head whips around to Dare. “Tying up a few loose ends?” I’ve never heard such malice in his voice, but it doesn’t disguise his main emotions. Pain and betrayal.
“It was for the best,” Dare replies, his voice even. “We couldn’t let you do it. You have a baby. You have a life, and we weren’t going to let you throw it away for revenge.”
Jeremy s
wallows hard, shrugging off my hand when I touch his arm. I know it’s not personal. I don’t think he sees or hears anything but Dare right now.
“He slaughtered her. She was out shopping, and he fucking mowed her down.”
“I know that. I was there.”
“And your girl lived!” Jeremy shouts, his fists clenching and unclenching.
Dare’s voice remains calm and seated while everyone else just watches the two of them. Zoe slips over to close the waiting room door. It’s very early, and we’re far away from patient rooms, but this isn’t anything we want overheard. “She did. And I’m sorry as hell that Frannie didn’t. But destroying your life and the life of the woman you love would be no way to vindicate Frannie’s death. And you know she’d tell you the same damn thing.”
Jeremy’s gaze flashes to me and he winces, turning back to Dare. “She wasn’t the only one they hurt.”
Please don’t let him announce what Anthony did to me, I pray silently.
Dare nods. “I’m aware. They won’t hurt anyone else.” Dare shoves his phone toward him.
Jeremy takes it and I creep up behind him to read a text from Tucker.
Tucker: Anthony and Shaun are dead. Three others in custody, including the Dashton police officer. The others will be processed and held in a mental facility until we’re sure they’re not a danger to themselves or others.
“My sister is alive?” I confirm, and Dare nods his head.
“Yes, she’ll be brought to the mental ward here to be evaluated.”
She’s free. Kelly is free. And they’re dead.
The monsters are gone.
I nearly knock Dare’s chair over when I tackle him with a fierce hug. “Thank you,” I whisper.
Dare gives me a quick squeeze back, but nods at Jeremy. “This was only possible because of Jeremy. He did the intel. He risked his life infiltrating them. All we did was follow up, and make a few phone calls to the right people.”
Jeremy looks so torn when I step toward him. “It’s over.” The words come out in a sob. “You set me free.”
Finally, he grabs me and hugs me so tight I swear I feel my spine squeak. “I wanted to kill him for you, kill all of them for you and Frannie, and all the others,” he murmurs in my ear.
“I know. But they’re dead either way, and now I get to have the life I want. With you.”
He looks over my shoulder at Dare. “Tucker has impeccable fucking timing.”
Justus shrugs and takes a seat. “We thought we’d have to tie you to a chair or something when the time came, but when we knew you’d be at the hospital all night, Tucker took the opportunity, and Mason was able to set things in motion.”
Jeremy glares at him, and Justus starts babbling. “Not that I knew anything about it. I mean, I was on your side, you know, kill them all, let Satan sort them out, but the rest of the guys just wouldn’t listen.”
Landon snorts. “Don’t be a coward. We all agreed weeks ago.”
“Thank you, Dracula. You’ve been very helpful.”
In the middle of all the chaos, Clarissa steps into the room. “Calvin has been moved from Isolation back to the NICU. Dr. Hanlon has just removed the ventilator and he’s breathing on his own again. You can visit him, but only one at a time.”
“Thank you so much,” I exclaim.
I turn to Jeremy, and he waves me off. “Go see our boy. Tell him daddy will see him in a few minutes.”
I leave them there to deal with Jeremy’s wrath and happily head down the hall to my baby. Jeremy won’t be able to stay mad at them for long. They had his best interest at heart, and I’ll be eternally grateful for what they’ve done.
Calvin is back in his original crib, and the hum-hiss sound of the ventilator is gone. Another NICU nurse smiles at me and asks, “Do you want to hold him? I was just going to see if he’d take a bottle.”
“Please.” I take a seat in the rocking chair, and wait for her to settle him in my lap.
“You look so much better today, Calvin,” she coos at him, before handing me the bottle.
We both laugh at the way he takes to it, like he’s never been fed before. “For a preemie, that boy is an eater. I’ll be nearby if you need me. Just give him a rest if his breathing alarm sounds. It’ll take a little while for his lungs to clear.”
She walks away, and I stare down at my precious little boy. Twenty-four hours ago, I wasn’t sure I would ever get to do this again. He stares up at me while he drinks his bottle, and I brush my fingers over the soft hair on his temple.
I talk softly to him. “You have quite a family waiting for you out there. And they all love you very much and can’t wait for you to come home, Calvin. Or C.J.” His gaze stays locked on me. I know they say he can’t really see me at this stage of development, but it sure feels like he does. “Jeremy likes C.J. but I’m not sure. Maybe when you’re older, but for now, you’re my baby Cal.”
I rock the chair slowly. “You have an aunt too. I hope you get to meet her after this mess is all untangled. If there’s one thing I’ve learned this year, it’s that you never know what might happen. Things change in a blink, and suddenly everything is different.”
His eyes fall shut and he stops sucking. Jostling him does no good. He’s snoozing away. I take a few moments to just watch him, watch the miracle of his chest rising and falling, before the nurse returns to put him back in his crib.
It won’t be long before he’ll be home, and I can hold him for as long as I want.
When I go back to the waiting room, Jeremy and Dare are the only ones still there. I don’t know if they’ve worked out all their issues, but they aren’t glaring at each other anymore. “He’s sleeping,” I tell Jeremy with a yawn. “But he looks so much better.”
“I’ll just peek in on him for a second. Then let’s get you home,” Jeremy says. “You’re asleep on your feet.”
“They’ll let you stay a while if you want to sit with him.”
“I don’t want to wake him. I’ll come back this evening and spend time with him.”
I look up at him, resting my chin on his chest, my arms circling his waist. “Thank you for being here.”
“I wouldn’t want to be anywhere else.”
After Jeremy spends a quick minute with Calvin, the three of us walk out together, and Dare drives my car home, since he rode with the others. All the drama I know is playing out at True Life, and on every local TV channel, isn’t enough to keep me from crawling into bed and falling into a deep sleep.
There are still obstacles ahead of us, I’m sure, but for today, my baby is okay, and I’m truly free.
When I wake, the house is dark. I’m surprised to find it’s after seven in the evening. I’ve slept all day. “Jeremy?” I call, walking through the house.
A note waits on the refrigerator.
Didn’t want to wake you. Went to hospital to see C.J. Get some rest. I’ll be back soon.
He jotted down the time at the bottom, so I know I just missed him.
I feel refreshed and wide awake. There’s no way I’m sitting here waiting for him, so I take a quick shower, throw on some clothes, and head back to the hospital. The ICU nurse waves at me to go on back to my son when I pause at the desk.
I round the corner to the sweetest thing I’ve ever seen. Jeremy sits in the rocking chair, shirtless, and Calvin lies against his chest, wearing only his tiny diaper. They were discussing the benefits of skin to skin contact before his setback, and it slipped my mind.
Quietly, I take out my phone and take a few pictures before he can see me. Seeing the man I love with the tiniest love of my life like this fills my heart to bursting.
“Hey,” I murmur, walking in.
Calvin turns his head toward my voice, and Jeremy chuckles. “Little momma’s boy.”
I pull over a chair to sit beside them. “How is he doing?”
“Good, the nurse said this helps even out his heart rate.”
We sit there with him until he succumbs to sleep.
It’s one of those moments that I know is permanently imprinted on my brain.
I’ll never forget it.
Chapter Eighteen
Jeremy
“I’m so excited, I might pee my pants,” Melissa squeals as I steer the car onto the highway.
“Let’s leave that to C.J. okay? Only one family member gets to piss themselves at a time.”
It’s been a little over a month since everything went down. The remaining True Life leaders are being held awaiting trial, but there is no chance they’ll get off. Considering they were charged as terrorists, they’re lucky they’re getting a trial at all.
All that takes a back seat today though, because our son is finally coming home.
Melissa and I have hopped back and forth between staying at her place and mine, but I know I’ll be staying with her now. If everything goes right, I hope we’ll be finding our own place together soon.
“I’m just going to hold him all night,” she says.
Look at her. The sun reflects off her black hair, making it look almost purple, and it’s a sharp contrast to those blue eyes that glow with happiness. She fidgets like a toddler when we pull into the hospital parking lot, hopefully for the last time.
I grab her hand and we make our way inside. It seems surreal to actually get to carry him out those glass doors a few minutes later, like they’re going to rush out and find a reason he has to stay. But, of course, that doesn’t happen.
C.J. sleeps the whole drive home, but he’s bright eyed and aware once we get inside. Melissa sits on the couch with him cradled on her lap, and I take a seat beside them. I don’t know how long we stay like that, just watching him, but I don’t think I could ever tire of it.
He’s still tiny, just short of five pounds, but he’s gaining steadily, and the boy is an eater. He has also developed a set of lungs and is not shy about letting us know when he’s hungry or unhappy.
He starts to fuss and Melissa hands him to me. “I’ll heat up a bottle if you want to change him.”
