by Debra Kayn
She stepped forward and slid her arms around his neck, reaching up, and kissed him. The shock of his beard and whiskers around her mouth momentarily shocked her and took the focus off his lips.
Then, she felt the soft yet hardness of his mouth, the misalignment, and opened her lips to match his. When she connected right, his hand pressed against her lower back, bringing her closer. He took possession of the kiss, and she took full advantage of his mouth.
The closeness.
The intimacy.
She belonged, and she clung and groped for more.
Thorn lowered his hand to her ass, palming her cheek, and pressing against her. The hardness of his cock evident between them and she moaned softly, twining her fingers in his long hair.
His lower body shifted lower, and he picked her up. She wrapped her legs around him as he moved her.
Her lips forced off him as he sat on the couch, she panted to catch her breath and moved her feet to gain her balance.
Thorn held her hips. "Now you can talk."
"We have to be quiet." Her neck warmed, always the mom. "Nikki only now went to sleep after picking at her dinner."
He frowned. "She didn't eat?"
"A couple of green beans." She sprawled her hands, running her fingers over the leather protecting his chest. "I didn't expect much after her doctor appointment."
"What happened with her?" His thumbs caressed her hip bones through her nightshirt.
"That's what I wanted to tell you...show you," she whispered, moving off his lap and walking across the room to her purse hanging from the corner of the chair.
She returned to the couch, sat beside him, and handed him the folded piece of paper. "During therapy, the doctor gives Nikki paper and crayons to draw while he goes through what I've informed him of her past. Until you found her, the only thing I had to go on was being a single mother and Nikki having to spend every other weekend with her dad. Because she couldn't express with words how she was feeling, the therapist concentrated on exploring ways for her to adapt."
"She's just a baby. How is she supposed to take advice from some guy with a degree on his wall?"
She shook her head. "Honestly, I don't really know but I needed help, and a professional was better than my failing attempts."
"I get it," mumbled Thorn, opening up the paper.
She'd gone over and over the picture in her mind since the therapist gave it to her but the devastating truth gnawing at her stomach remained all evening.
Nikki's crude depiction of her in a car, tears—dots, really—on her face, a black sky, scribbles resembling cars, and people walking, spoke more of the abuse that her daughter had gone through than any words her daughter could scream.
"It's her at Brikken," whispered Thorn, exhaling loudly.
Jessy slid off the couch, got on her hands and knees, and reached under the couch. Thorn tilted his head, watching her. She sat back up on the couch and handed him a pile of drawings.
"I keep them under there with all my important paperwork. I figure if someone breaks in, they won't look under the couch." She shrugged. "I have all Nikki's drawings she's done at home and at school."
He thumbed through the papers. "They're all pretty much the same."
She put her hand on top of the drawings. "This is the same picture she draws at home. At school. At the therapist's office. I didn't know it was about Ed abusing her. I figured it was the few things she drew like kids draw houses and the sun all the time. Anyway, all this time, I thought her refusing to talk was about having to be shuffled between her dad and me. The therapist kept telling me that she needs a schedule, a routine, and she'll learn to adapt. Lots of kids live between two parents and two households. I wanted her to have a relationship with her father. I wanted to give her something I never had growing up."
"Why did drawing another picture of the same thing upset her today?" He gave her back the drawings.
She handed the papers back to him. "Look what is missing."
He studied the picture. After several seconds, he looked at the older drawings and shook his head. "What am I seeing?"
She tapped where Nikki drew the clubhouse. In all the other pictures, there was a stick figure standing by the building.
"Today, while Nikki was drawing, the therapist reiterated how only I would be in her life and Nikki wouldn't have to draw any more pictures for the rest of the appointment. When the therapist picked up the drawing from the table, Nikki grabbed the paper out of his hand and pointed to the clubhouse. From what I understand, she got upset when he wouldn't give back the drawing. The rest of the appointment was a waste of time because Nikki never calmed down."
Thorn ran his hand down his beard. "Does she want to go back to the club?"
"I don't think that's it." Her pulse accelerated. "I think she was upset that she didn't have time to draw you in the picture."
He looked down at the drawings and finally noticed what she'd seen. "This stick figure is always in the same spot, even when there is nobody else in the picture."
"I think it's you." She inhaled. "I think she always looked for you when you were outside. That's why she cried because she was trying to get your attention. I could be wildly guessing because she doesn't talk but I think for her to feel safe, she needs to see you. It's like when you eat with her, and you're here in the evenings, she's content to play and be a kid. She had no idea how a father acts because Ed always left her. But, you were there for her. In her mind, maybe she believed her weekends were all about being in a car by herself with you in view. She's so young, and it's all she's known."
"Jesus," he muttered, standing up and putting the stack of papers on the couch. "I'm not going to leave her."
"You can't say that to her." Their last conversation hung heavy in the air, and her over-protective tendencies toward Nikki came out in full-force. "I know you want me, but you can't promise her forever when you don't know if what we have going on between us right now will last beyond the month or year."
His gaze swung around and connected to her. "I know."
"I wish I felt as positive." She scooted back on the couch and leaned her head against the cushion. "I'm scared. We have something going on between us, which is separate from Nikki. Now, I have something going on between you and my daughter. And, I have a strong desire to curl up on this couch and close my eyes, afraid of tomorrow."
He crooked his finger. "Stand up."
She pushed herself to her feet. He leaned around her and stretched out on the sofa, then patted his chest.
Eyeing him, she wanted to cry in disappointment. He took up the whole area. There was no room for her.
"It'll work." His boots hung over the arm of the couch. "Lie down and let me hold you."
She lifted her leg and squeezed her foot between him and the back of the couch and lowered herself on top of him. His belt buckle dug into the front of her hip, and she shifted to one side of him, her leg sliding in between him and the cushion while her upper body remained on his chest.
He put his arm down her back and palmed her ass. She put her cheek on his chest, the leather of his vest against her skin. He hadn't even taken off his clothes to get more comfortable.
"Is she going to sleep through the night?" he whispered.
She nodded against him. "She usually does, especially after being upset."
Or, coming back from a weekend with her father.
Jessy's eyes burned, and she closed them. She tried to relax, but it was hard with Thorn rubbing the top of her ass and his heartbeat racing under her ear.
While his body remained unforgiving and tense underneath her, she wrapped her arm around his broad chest taking comfort from him. With him near, he seemed bigger than any problem she had to face alone.
"Do you have to work this weekend," she whispered, hoping she'd have time alone with him when she wasn't pouring out her problems.
"I'll need to go to the clubhouse for a few hours early in the morning, but I'll have the rest of the day an
d Sunday off." His chest rose and fell. "I need to talk to you about next weekend cause I'm leaving for ten days."
Her head came up. He pressed her back down.
"I've already figured how we'll go about everything. I'm going to get you a phone and have it set up so you can see my face when I call. That way you can show Nikki every time I call," he said.
"My phone does that."
"Rather have you use one of the club's phones." He kissed the top of her head. "I'd stay, but it's necessary for me to go with the club."
"What are you going to be doing?"
"Just club business." His hand made slow circles against her upper butt. "I'll make sure Nikki knows I'm not gone for good. The phone calls will reassure her that my promises mean something."
She swallowed over the onslaught of emotions he brought out in her and lifted her knee, hugging his thigh. Once again, her mind reeled with ways to hold on to him. He brought out an unfamiliar fear in her of being alone. One she'd never had when her mom kicked her out of the house for being pregnant or when she'd been with Ed.
She stretched her neck and cupped his whiskered cheek, and kissed him deeply. The taste of him becoming familiar. A unique hunger quickly consuming her busy life.
Pressing her sex against his hip, she deepened the kiss. His hand squeezed her ass and his cock hardened against her inner thigh. Knowing he wanted her. Feeling the proof. Having him here. She wanted him.
Lowering her hand, she palmed his hardness through his jeans. Warmth flooded the middle of her body, and she hummed softly through the assault of pleasure.
His fingers wrapped around her wrist, dragging her hand off him. He pulled away from the kiss. "You keep doing that, and I won't stop until I'm deep inside of you."
"I thought—"
"Need a bed when I take you," he said, his voice deeper than normal. "I need to make sure Nikki doesn't walk out of her room and see me fucking her mom."
She pushed up on his chest. Nikki. God, how could she forget that she was in a one-bedroom apartment with her daughter fifteen feet away?
"She's sleeping," he said.
She exhaled in relief. "I'm losing my mind," she whispered.
"It'll get easier." He pulled her back down. "Rest and get some sleep for a few hours, and then I need to get out of here."
She snuggled down. "I wish I had a two-bedroom apartment and I could hide you in the closet."
He chuckled silently. The quiver of his chest vibrated her. Remembering his need to not hide their relationship and be able to touch her whenever, she quickly said, "I'd only hide you at night."
"Only at night," he murmured, kissing the top of her head.
She closed her eyes, staying tuned to the noises in the apartment. One little hint of Nikki getting up, she'd jumped off Thorn before getting caught. While she believed with all her heart that her daughter felt safer when Thorn was in view, she wouldn't traumatize her daughter more by having him in the house without explaining why he was there first.
Chapter Fifteen
Jessy held the front door of her apartment open. Thorn carried the bedrails inside for their new bed and moved out of the way for Olin and D-Con to bring in the box springs.
"Just lean it against the wall." He put down the rails.
Nikki watched the activity from the doorway of her bedroom. He winked at her and stepped over to Jessy and leaned closer.
She cast a look at her daughter, then gave him a quick peck on the lips. He chuckled in amusement. They'd gone half the day without seeing each other after he left before Nikki woke. He wasn't going to molest her in front of her child, but a kiss was only a kiss. There wasn't anything shocking about smooching.
Jessy pressed her hand to her forehead. "Where are you putting the bed? There's no extra room in the apartment."
Nikki needed her own space to have a safe spot to escape to when life got too hard, or he would've put the kid in the corner of the living room. Hell, there was nothing wrong with doubling up siblings in bedrooms when space was tight, but Nikki needed to be put first in his decision to spend the nights with Jessy.
Jett and D-Con left to get the mattress. Thorn shoved the couch out of the way, clearing the back corner of the room.
"Take a seat and watch the magic." He pushed the chair to the wall.
Jessy sat down, crossed her legs, and said, "This isn't going to work. There's no room."
"There's room."
She snorted. He stepped out of the way of his brother and D-Con coming in and reached into his pocket. Retrieving the pack of gum he'd bought off Gunnar, his nephew, earlier at the club, he handed the treat to Nikki.
The little girl hesitated. He held it closer to her. "Go on. I'll teach you how to blow a bubble with your mouth, but you need to chew it a lot and give me time to set up your mom's new bed."
Nikki tenderly took the gum out of his hand. He'd already opened the end in case she had trouble with the wrapper. Though, he suspected she could've done it better than him. Kids were geniuses about opening things they shouldn't be in.
"Are you putting the bed together or what?" Jett wiped off his forehead with his arm.
"Yeah. I've got it from here." He slapped Jett on his shoulder. "Are the kids going to be around the clubhouse tomorrow?"
"Far as I know. Sydney's been working in the daycare room with Kylie on the weekends. We see more of each other if she's around where I am." Jett rubbed his right hand.
"Call if you hear differently." He looked to D-Con. "Thanks for the help, man."
"You owe me." D-Con held two fingers to his forehead and saluted him. "See you, Stanton."
He shut the door after they left and went to work putting the rails together. Jessy groaned and bent over, cradling her head.
"You worried?" He picked up a railing.
"Uh, a little bit. This change...I didn't know it was going to be witnessed by others." She stood. "What can I do to help, so I can have our living room back?"
"Go make root beer floats with the stuff I brought back with me." He banged his fist against the metal, connecting one corner.
She huffed and walked into the kitchen. He watched her ass switch in frustration and grinned. There was no escaping the apartment unless she went out on the patio. The small size of the living quarters worked to his advantage.
Five minutes later, he put the box springs on the frame when Jessy said, "What in the world is in your mouth?"
He looked over his shoulder and spotted Nikki sticking out her tongue and almost spitting out the gum. Waiting to see if Nikki would answer, he tilted his head at Jessy's questioning look aimed at him. "I gave her a pack of gum. We've got a deal that if she chews it for a while, I'll teach her how to blow bubbles."
Jessy raised her brows and crossed her arms. "Oh, you will?"
"She's old enough to start trying." He picked up the mattress and slid it onto the box springs. "I was six when I learned. How old were you?"
"I don't know. Ten, maybe."
He laughed. "Slow learner?"
"No." Her voice hardened. "No siblings or friends to show me."
From what little he knew; her mom had fucked up raising her daughter. He straightened and moved the high-backed couch in front of the bed, partially hiding it from the view of the bedroom. "How about them floats?"
Jessy walked over to the kitchen and brought out two glasses filled with ice cream and topped with root beer. He motioned Nikki over and pointed at the bed.
"We're celebrating, so you get to be the first to sit on the mattress and have your treat." He held her ice cream float while she scrambled onto the bed. "Take your gum out and stick it on the side of the glass."
Jessy returned with her float. "Um, that's not really hygienic."
"Never killed anyone." He sat down on the couch and dug into his ice cream.
Between each spoonful, Jessy yawned. She'd barely slept last night. He understood her being worried about Nikki catching him sleeping over. But, he was also aware of her relief
when he'd come back to the apartment and seen how Nikki relaxed, even with Jett and D-Con with him.
"Here's the plan." He held up his spoon. "I'm going to finish my float. Then, Jessy's going to make the bed with the stuff that's in the bag I brought over while I show Nikki some blowing action." He wiggled his brows at Jessy before looking at Nikki. "Afterward, we're going to get ready for bed. Nikki in her bed. Jessy in her new bed and I worked so damn hard today, I'm going to nap on the couch."
Jessy's brows shot up. He ignored her surprise. She'd need to get used to having him around cause once Nikki was asleep, he was going to make use of the bed and Jessy.
Chapter Sixteen
The Barbie doll shadow on the wall remained inactive. Jessy tiptoed to the bedroom door and held her breath. Between the bed arriving, the dessert—which Nikki ate most of, and the bubble blowing lessons—which were entertaining if not unsuccessful, her daughter went to sleep faster after a big day.
She walked back to Thorn on the couch. "She's asleep."
The sexual tension in the apartment made her awkward. Her muscles acted cold and stiff, and she moved slowly. Even her voice sounded strange to her ears.
Thorn expected to have sex with her tonight.
She caught her lower lip between her teeth, stamping down the rush of tingles through her body. Truthfully, she wanted nothing more than to be with him, strip herself naked and know him in the most basic, animalistic way. Probably more than he wanted her because she'd never been able to experience sex in a way that she could participate.
Ed had taken her virginity, and they'd had sex at least a dozen times before she found out she was pregnant. But, she was not a participant. She was only the object of his lust. Too young to understand that sex was more than being an object of someone's fascination.
Thorn stood and gathered her hand into his. He led her to the patio.
Outside, away from Nikki, she inhaled easier. Thorn pulled her against him and wrapped his arms around her.
"You're tighter than a spring." He worked his hand up the back of her neck and held on to her hair. "All parents figure out a way to have sex with kids around."
