by Debra Kayn
SYDNEY STEPPED OUT of the daycare room. Jessy held on to Nikki's hand, unsure if letting her daughter play at the clubhouse was a good idea.
"She's welcome to come in and play with Chee and the others." Sydney looked down at the pacifier she held and laughed. "I'm taking care of the babies that are here today, but Kylie—my sister— is entertaining the older kids who don't wear diapers or take a bottle. There are all age groups inside."
"I don't know." Jessy glanced at Thorn. "I'm sure you're full of paying kids you're supposed to be taking care of. I feel bad—"
Sydney waved her hand in front of her. "It's not a problem. It's the weekend. We're under the number of kids we can handle. Besides, my son has talked about nothing else but Nikki since the Family Day Party. If he hears his new bestie is out here, he'll throw a fit for her to come play with him."
Jessy kneeled beside Nikki, who surprisingly came to the clubhouse without having a breakdown. "Do you want to go inside and play with Chee for a little bit?"
Nikki nodded and let go of her hand. She laughed and stood. "I guess I got my answer. She'd love to come play."
"I know one little boy who is going to be very excited." Sydney smiled down at Nikki.
Jessy twirled her bracelets on her wrist. "Um, can I give you my phone number in case she needs me, or you have any problems with—"
"Sydney's got my number, and you'll be with me. She can call if she needs you," said Thorn.
Jessy nodded at Thorn and looked at Sydney. "When would you like me to pick her up?"
"Whenever you want. We're here all day." Sydney opened the door and held out her hand to Nikki, who went to her without any hesitation.
Left alone in the hallway, she turned to Thorn and lifted her eyebrows. Amazed at how easily everything seemed to go today with the new routine and Thorn staying at her apartment.
"Are you settled now?" he asked.
"Yeah." She laughed softly. "Besides the school and in emergencies and on rare occasions Bee and Charlie, I've never had a babysitter for Nikki."
"She'll have fun." He pulled her close and whispered in her ear. "And, I have a bedroom upstairs with a bed for us. No interruptions. No fear of anyone bothering us."
Still clingy from the intimacy they'd shared through the night, she buried her face in his chest and gave free reign to the warmth building inside of her. Everything she'd expected from an older man in a sexual relationship had been proven wrong. Thorn was insatiable and demanding. Attuned to her needs and willing to satisfy her, in and out of bed.
"Okay, honey. Show me where you live." She lifted her head, stood on her toes, and kissed him.
His lips remained closed and firm. Pulling back, she stroked his beard. "Sorry, that slipped out. I won't call you—"
"Upstairs is not my home." His gaze intensified. "When it's the right time for Nikki, I'll get us a house. I thought you understood that I'm claiming you as my woman."
The noise from inside the daycare faded in her ears. It wasn't the endearment he was upset about. He'd asked her to be his woman, but she'd assumed that meant girlfriend. He'd spoken of a future with her, and she'd assumed he was on the same path as her wanting to work toward a permanent commitment. But, she never assumed anything more because of their age difference.
Her pulse accelerated. He wanted her forever and planned their future. Imagining him always beside her, loving her, loving Nikki, her stomach flip-flopped. God, Nikki would be thrilled to have Thorn in her life, and she couldn't think of anyone better to help raise her daughter.
"I understand." Her body melted. "I want that, too."
He slid his hand into hers and pulled her in the direction of the stairs. "Do you understand what's going to happen when we go upstairs.
She squeezed his fingers and leaned against his arm. "Oh, that, I understand."
"Good, cause I'm already missing you and I don't leave for five more days." He climbed the steps to the second floor.
If she had an opportunity to be with Thorn, she wasn't foolish enough not to take him up on the offer. Being a mother, she'd jump through hoops to have time alone with him.
At the door to one of the many rooms upstairs, Thorn stopped. "About what you called me..."
"I don't know why I said that." She wrapped her arms around his waist and leaned against him. "I'm not even someone who uses endearments. In fact, it irritates me at the diner when customers do it toward me, and—"
"I like it," he said.
"Oh," she said, smiling all over.
He opened the door and took her inside. She was falling harder and faster in love with Thorn.
Chapter Eighteen
Nikki sat at on the stool at the end of the counter. Jessy nudged Bee with her elbow and motioned with her chin. Her daughter used the straw to suck up the last few drops of a milkshake.
"Along with her appetite getting bigger, her cheeks are filling out." She couldn't wipe the smile off her face. "The doctor is impressed, and if she keeps going at this rate, I'm going to have to replace all her clothes before school starts."
Bee's eyes watered, and she sniffed. "That little girl deserves to be treated like a princess."
Jessy warmed, knowing Thorn already called her daughter by that nickname. If he had his way, he'd spoil Nikki rotten in no time, and she wouldn't stop him.
"How are you doing?" Bee raised her brows. "I better hear that Thorn is treating you right or he's going to have me to deal with."
"He's..." She paused, sighing in content. "Better than I ever imagined a man could be. He promised to call Nikki twice each day he was gone, and he never missed an opportunity to facetime with her. I thought Nikki might grow upset at another change happening, but the newness of using the phone and having Thorn pay special attention to her made his ten-day absence okay with her. Of course, I missed him. A phone doesn't compare to having him beside me."
"He's back, though?"
She stepped over and picked up two plates under the warmer. "Yeah, he came home on Sunday."
Home.
How quickly she'd claimed the apartment as a home since Thorn walked into her life and turned her world upside down. Never wanting Nikki to believe she'd settle for less than perfect, she'd always called where they lived their apartment. Her dreams included a real home in the future. Somewhere she could raise her daughter without strangers living on the other side of a wall.
"Speaking of the devil." Bee hitched her thumb toward the window. "It looks like your man is coming in and I bet it has nothing to do with ordering today's special."
She delivered the orders to the customers at Table Two and hurried toward Thorn at the door. Straining to kiss his lips, she failed to curb the excitement of having him in the diner.
"What's up?" She refrained from calling him honey in public while she worked.
"Jett called." Thorn's gaze went over her head to the other side of the room. "Chee wants Nikki to come play at the clubhouse."
"If Chee weren't five years old, I'd think he has a crush on my daughter." She laughed softly. "Go ahead and tell Jett I'll bring Nikki over at one o'clock when I get off work. She can play for an hour or two before I need to make her dinner."
Because she only had to work four hours today, she'd treated Nikki to a day spent at the diner instead of going to the daycare at the school. Bee and Charlie had been asking to see her, and her daughter loved spending time with her at work.
"That's still a couple of hours away." He frowned. "I'll take her in your car while I have D-Con sit outside the diner until you're off work. Then, I'll come back, give you your car and pick up my Harley."
She shook her head and stepped back. "No, that won't work. If it's not okay for a playdate this afternoon, we'll have to work something out for a different day."
"Hey." He stepped forward, stopping her from retreating. "What's the problem with doing it today?"
She glanced around the diner. "I'm working."
"I get that."
Unable to meet his ga
ze, she straightened the napkin holder on the nearest table. "It's just not convenient."
He lowered his voice. "Do you have a problem with me taking Nikki?"
"It's not you. It's me." She grimaced, hating that wimpy excuse. "After Ed—"
His mouth hardened. "I'm not Talbot."
"I know," she whispered, unable to change her mind. She was her daughter's only advocate. It was up to her to keep her safe.
She'd screwed up before, putting her desire to keep Ed in Nikki's life and missed what was happening while her daughter was away from her. She wouldn't make that mistake again.
Thorn's gaze narrowed. Without a word, he turned and left the diner.
A heaviness settled on her shoulders. She slapped the side of her upper thigh in frustration. Their first real conflict as a couple and she'd blown it.
A low cry pierced her heart. She turned around in time to catch Nikki in her mad dash for the door. Obviously having spotted Thorn, her daughter thought he was walking away without talking to her.
"Sh, Nikki. It's okay. Thorn is only going outside to sit on his motorcycle." She picked up her daughter and pointed out the window. "See?"
Nikki's cries grew louder, and she kicked her feet and swung her arms. Barely able to hold her, Jessy carried her into the kitchen away from the few customers staring at the scene they were causing. She'd never thrown a fit before at the diner.
Charlie tossed his spatula onto the stainless-steel counter. "What's wrong with my girl?"
Jessy set Nikki on her feet and crouched in front of her, holding her daughter's hands. "She's just upset."
Bee rushed through the doors holding a new milkshake. "Here, give her another treat."
"No, she doesn't need more sugar." She rubbed Nikki's hands trying to gain her attention. "You need to stop crying. When I finish work, we'll see Thorn, and you can be with him."
Nikki's chin tilted up, and she clamped her lips shut, emitting a mournful sound Jessy had never heard before. The sound shattered her.
She put her arms around Nikki, wanting to comfort her, and her daughter struggled against her. Looking up at Bee and Charlie, at a loss of what to do. Of course, there were upsets and frustrations raising Nikki on her own, but nothing like what was happening.
Nikki never fought her. She always needed her.
The kitchen door banged open. Jessy jerked her gaze and found Thorn standing inside the room, looking ready to kill. His dark gaze penetrated her before dropping on Nikki. Jessy let go of her struggling daughter and watched her helplessly run across the room.
Thorn swooped Nikki up into his arms. Her daughter wound her arms around his neck and hid her face against his beard. Jessy straightened, aware that the cries had instantly stopped.
Left with a hole in her chest, she finally understood the helplessness Thorn had lived with for four years. As a mother, she should've sensed her daughter's distress. She should've seen the signs of neglect. She should've had a gut feeling that something was wrong.
There was nothing she could do to fix her failures as a mother. The damage, no matter how often she prayed or how many doctors she took Nikki to, may never go away. What kind of life would her daughter have without words?
She covered her mouth, turned, and pushed out the back door. Smothering her sob, she leaned against the brick wall, unable to breathe. How could everything be going right in her personal life with Thorn while her daughter's world continued to fall apart?
Guilt burned her stomach and anger filled her heart.
She wanted to kill Ed. How dare he take the most precious gift and neglect her. Children needed security and love. For him to selfishly put himself first at the determent of their daughter was unforgivable.
The back door swung open. Jessy swiped at the tears that continued to run. She couldn't stop crying. She couldn't fix her daughter. She couldn't stop loving Thorn.
Strong arms surrounded her, pushing her back against the wall. Her legs gave out yet she remained on her feet because of Thorn supporting her.
"I can't." She sobbed. "Help her." She clamped her teeth together at the onslaught of pain. "My baby. I should've—"
"Sh." Thorn's hand cupped the back of her head. "She's fine now. Bee's husband is having Nikki help him in the kitchen. She knows I'm with you and we're going to return to her."
That was her Thorn, always taking care of them. She squeezed her eyes shut, hating her weakness. Always trying to be strong and positive, her worries always poked the surface.
"How could Ed do that to her?" The words scratched her throat. "He was supposed to love her."
Thorn's arms tightened. "He won't get another chance to harm her. I promise you that."
"I hate him," she whispered as fresh tears made their way down her cheeks.
"You've been strong for too long," said Thorn. "Let it out."
Five years of being alone and supporting her and Nikki, she had to be strong. She sucked in air, knowing that if she took the time to feel sorry for herself, it would do no good for her daughter. She squared her shoulders, forced air into her lungs, and fought for control.
She wasn't alone anymore. Thorn was with her.
Chapter Nineteen
Thorn entered the kitchen at the clubhouse and spotted his mom and Johanna talking with Deana. He walked over to the fridge and took out a beer, removing the cap. It wasn't unusual to see his mom and Chief's woman together.
His mom had raised Johanna. For a few years after Johanna turned eighteen and moved out, they'd gone their separate ways, but that's how kids grew up. Jett, Olin, and he had also spread their wings as most kids do, but they all stayed connected to Brikken. They were all family.
"When are you going to ride over and let me sew on your new patch?" His mom approached him. "I noticed Jett and Olin are sporting new insignias."
The patch was new. The colors were the same.
He lifted his arm and turned to the side, showing his vest. "Already got mine on."
His mom smiled. "It's a sure sign that my mothering skills are no longer needed when my baby has a woman in his life."
He leaned over and kissed her cheek. "Time for you to retire."
"Maybe." She shrugged, studying him longer. "What's wrong?"
"Who said anything was wrong?"
"I know you."
He leaned against the counter and crossed his boots. "I want to move Jessy and Nikki into a house."
"What's the problem with that?"
"Time." He exhaled. "Jessy doesn't want to rush Nikki. She's been doing well the last couple of months. There are times when she opens her mouth and acts like she wants to speak. I can almost feel how badly that little girl is struggling with keeping hold of old ways and wanting to embrace new. Jessy thinks the progress will stop if we change our living arrangements. It'd be a lot easier to protect them both if I bought a house out of Tacoma."
His mom crossed her arms and frowned. "Is there still trouble with her ex-husband?"
"Ex-boyfriend," he mumbled. "He hooked up with an offshoot of Langsturns Motorcycle Club in Portland when we got rid of him. They've got him hidden deep within the club. Nobody from Brikken has seen him for about six months."
"I imagine he's smart enough not to show his face around here." His mom's gaze softened. "Where's Jessy and Nikki now?"
"In the daycare room. She's started letting Nikki go here on Saturdays." He took a drink of his beer. "We're going to take off as soon as she says bye to Nikki. Jessy's going to work the evening shift at the diner. She's been trying to work all the extra time she can get at work to save some money."
"Admirable, but why aren't you helping her out?"
He finished the beer and put the bottle in the sink. "I have. She puts the money I give her in a safe place. So, I tried to go to the school and pay for Nikki's tuition for the year, thinking that would help, and they wouldn't let me in the door."
His mom scoffed. "All schools are cracking down on security nowadays. I'm sure you went knocking wear
ing your vest and riding the Harley."
He nodded, knowing his mistake. But, he wasn't going to fucking change his clothes and shave his beard off. If they wanted his money, they'd damn well let him in.
Deana left the room, and Johanna walked over to Karla, noticing a pause in the conversation. "I’m going to head home. Remember to come by and pick up the extra tomatoes before you leave. There's no way I can eat them all before they go bad. I've already sent a bunch home with Ashley and Lindsay. Sydney doesn’t think her kids will eat them."
"Hang on, and I'll walk over with you." Karla hugged Thorn. "You'll figure things out, son. Try and be patient."
After goodbyes were shared with him, he found himself alone waiting for Jessy. His age and life experiences made it hard not to push Jessy into something she wasn't comfortable doing. Life was fucking short. Who knew how many more good years he'd have left.
But, if he learned anything from the women in his family, if the problem involved a child, mommas would always put the kid first. It's why the Stanton men picked strong women with a heavy nurturing trait.
When it came to club business, he was in charge. In his home, he'd make damn sure Jessy was happy.
Jessy walked into the kitchen and looked around, finding him alone. "I thought you had a meeting?"
"All finished." He gazed down her body as she moved toward him.
The upcoming shipment of motorcycles was set up, and the dates picked. He had two weeks, and then he'd need to be on the road and away from Jessy for ten days.
She reached up and kissed him. "I thought I'd get out of the daycare room early, and we could go visit your bedroom upstairs before I have to go to work, but Kylie started talking about someone named Joy—apparently, she's pregnant, and they're doing a baby shower for her. Then, Nikki wouldn't come over and tell me goodbye—because Chee's here this afternoon. I wasted our free time."
He kissed her to shut her down. "Don't tell me what we could've been doing."
She laughed softly. "I get off at seven o'clock. Then, I'll come back here and pick up Nikki."
