by Box Set
Cara shrugged. She didn’t know the answer to that. Years ago, she’d had other ideas. An actual plan for her life. Now, she hardly knew herself.
“Not that you’re asking me,” Nate squeezed her hand, “but you should think about doing something creative. Just for a while. You used to draw, paint and sew. You were always doing some new craft project.”
“I miss sewing.”
“Do that for a week. I bet I can borrow a sewing machine. You might have to do it in the bedroom, so it’s quiet in my studio, but you could still do it.”
Cara leaned back. He made it sound so easy. Simple. It couldn’t be, could it?
“Look, Cara, in my line of work, I have windfall months and drought months. I just finished the biggest paying run I’ve ever had. I’m flush. I’m not rich, but I can support us for a while. Let me? Please?”
“Why?”
“Because…I want you to be here. I want to keep getting to see you.”
“Me, too. I guess…I worry that you’re going to resent me.”
“Think of this as payback, with interest.”
“For what?” She scrunched up her nose, trying to remember a time she’d ever had money to lend to Nate.
“For all the tutoring you did. Taking care of me when I hurt my knee.”
“That’s what friends do,” she blurted.
“And friends take care of each other.”
She frowned. They’d always been friends. She wanted to be more than friends with Nate. Wasn’t that a big part of why they were discussing her staying?
“What is it, Cara-bear?” Nate nudged her leg with their joined hands.
“Are we just friends?”
“No. I don’t think we have been for a long time.”
That sounded about right. She didn’t call and talk or share with her other friends like she did with Nate. What they had was different.
“So…we’re temporarily living together?” She didn’t know how her mother was going to react to that, but it likely wouldn’t be good.
“Yeah.” Nate shrugged.
It wasn’t enough. She needed…more. But how did she ask that question? Just come out and ask? What would a smarter, sexy woman do in her shoes?
Cara had no idea because that wasn’t her.
“What do I call us? Like, if Mom asks, what do I tell her?”
“What do you want to call us?”
Cara lifted her shoulders and held up her free hand.
Nate watched her for a moment, showing none of the same consternation she felt over their predicament.
“Cara…I don’t care what you want to call this. I’m all in. There is no one else I want to be with, share my apartment with, or go to bed with. So, whatever that makes us, I’m cool with.”
“Oh. Okay. So…we’re…datingish? But without dates.”
“We can date. We can be boyfriend-girlfriend. Whatever.”
“I like that.”
“What? Me being your boyfriend?”
“Yes.”
“Okay, then I’m your boyfriend.” He grinned and leaned toward her.
She knew that smile. What it meant.
Her heart rate kicked up and she froze, watching his face inch closer, his smile widening.
Nate teased her bottom lip with his. She remained stuck to the spot, holding her breath, waiting to see what he’d do.
“Kiss me, Cara.”
She mimicked what he did, exploring his lips, his mouth.
He shook his hand from hers and pressed her back, until she lay on the couch, him on top of her.
She knew where this was going. Clearly being with Nate meant a lot more sex than any other relationship in her life. She couldn’t find fault with that, not when he kissed her like this.
Her body heated, and not from a blush. She’d foregone her bra, so now all she felt was his chest against hers through the thin fabric of their shirts. He found her nipple with this finger and teased her. She bucked her hips, the needy fire of desire spurring her on.
The front door shook under the weight of a heavy knock, knock, knock.
“Yo, anyone home?” a familiar voice beckoned.
Nate lifted his head, glaring at the door and muttering curses.
“What is Josh doing here?” She was whining, but could anyone really blame her?
“Probably came to say goodbye, shit.” Nate pushed up, off her.
Cara glanced down at herself, still only wearing his shirt. She squeaked and scrambled off the sofa, dashing into the bedroom.
First, clothes, then she had to call the airline. After that, she’d see what Josh wanted.
She found her bra and a change of clothes. One thing down, she shut herself in Nate’s closet and made a call to the airline. Fifteen minutes later, she didn’t have any further excuses to keep herself shut up in the nearly-empty closet. Her body was still sensitive, even the silence rubbing her raw, but at least one thing was under control.
For the next week, she was living with Nate.
It was a surreal decision, something she’d thought about, maybe dreamed a couple of times, but had never guessed it could be a reality. He was her…boyfriend. And now…were they telling people? What was Josh going to think? Would he care?
She left her phone on the dresser, pushed her shoulders back and walked out of the bedroom.
Nate and Josh were seated on the sectional, talking.
“Hey, Cara. Nate says you’re staying a little longer?” Josh smiled at her.
“Yeah.” She remained standing, hands clasped together.
“Cool. More time to hang out.” Josh glanced at his phone. “Bryan should be by any minute. We were coming over to surprise you, but I guess we’re the ones getting a surprise.”
Surprise her?
She glanced at the clock hanging in the kitchen.
But…if she were flying home, Nate would have dropped her off an hour ago. That didn’t make any sense. Or perhaps she was confused?
Another knock at the door, and this time Josh jumped to his feet.
“That’s probably Bryan. I’ll get it.”
She glanced at Nate in time to see him drop the smiling, guy routine, now that Josh’s back was to them.
What was up with her friends?
Nate was going to get a tension headache if he didn’t stop clenching his jaw. He’d been biting his tongue ever since Josh knocked on the door and said they needed to talk. And now, Nate had his two best friends lying to his girlfriend’s face. What a bunch of fucking hypocrites. He wanted to knock Josh and Bryan’s skulls together. They hadn’t even bothered to text or call Cara to tell her bye. He wasn’t stupid, and from Cara’s expression earlier, neither was she.
They never intended to surprise her. This was all a bunch of bullshit.
Cara, Josh and Bryan were all aware of the lie, and yet everyone had simply swept it under the rug and went on like nothing was wrong. Well, Nate wasn’t okay with it. Not in the least.
He took his time cleaning up the take out boxes while the other three took turns going head to head in Mortal Kombat. They’d cycled through a variety of nostalgic games from their childhood, carrying on about old times. The fun they used to have.
Nate didn’t want things to be like they were. He liked them now. And he wasn’t about to stop holding Cara’s hand just because Bryan couldn’t meet his gaze and Josh wouldn’t look at them. Bryan’s issue, Nate could at least understand. Yeah, if he found out one of the other guys had made a move on Cara and they’d been together, he’d be a jealous asshole, too. But Josh? Where did he get off telling Nate what he could and could not do? This pretentious bullshit act of his was out of line.
Cara was not Josh’s sister. She was their friend. All of theirs. And she’d made a choice. The same one Nate had. Just because Josh had drawn lines in the sand he believed to be right and wrong, black and white, didn’t mean that the world conformed to his view.
“Well, I’ve got to head out,” Bryan said after Cara beat his as
s again.
“It’s good to see you.” Cara gave Bryan, then Josh a squeeze.
“You leaving, too?” Nate asked.
“Yeah.” Josh didn’t even glance Nate’s way.
“I’ll walk you guys out.” Nate wiped his hands down and met the other two at the door.
He didn’t want to have this conversation in front of Cara. There was no guarantee what Bryan or Josh would say, how they’d twist things, and he’d prefer to not have an audience for this.
“Bye, guys.” Cara waved them out the door while Nate led them down.
The only sound was their feet on the old, sturdy staircase. He pushed out into the evening air and inhaled.
Still, no one spoke.
“What’d you guys come here to say?” Nate strolled toward the guest parking spots.
“Talk about where things are at,” Josh replied.
That was vaguer than Josh liked to be.
Nate stopped at Josh’s car and leaned against the trunk, facing his two so-called friends. Yeah, he was a bit bitter about this.
“Cara’s staying for the week. We’re together. What else is there to know?” Nate watched their faces, how they didn’t exactly look at him. Were they feeling some guilt about their hypocrisy? Was that it?
“It’s not you, Nate.” Bryan found his backbone first and speared Nate with his gaze. “It’s…Cara’s not like you. That’s the problem.”
“Like me, how?” Nate crossed his arms over his chest.
“She’s not into weird stuff. And what about Ellie?”
“Ellie and I are on the same page. And Cara doesn’t care. You need to check yourself, Bryan.”
“Cara knows? About Ellie? And the…the…bondage stuff?”
“Yes.”
“You told Cara about Ellie?” Josh asked.
“Not…with names.” Nate swallowed. So, he wasn’t one-hundred percent transparent. He would tell her, but she needed to get her life settled first. “Cara knows, I just didn’t mention Ellie by name.”
“Do you hear yourself?” Bryan’s face was getting redder.
“How well do you think that’s going to go over?” Josh crossed his arms over his chest, mimicking Nate’s pose.
“It doesn’t matter. She knows. She understands.”
“Everything?” Bryan asked.
“Everything else, yeah.”
“You…” Josh blinked. “You told her? Did you show her?”
“That’s none of your damn business.” Nate glared at the two. Would they have this same reaction if it were anyone else? Or was this a hang-up on his sexual preferences? Or Cara?
“Telling her and showing her are two different things,” Bryan said.
“Do you guys even hear yourself talking?” Nate glanced from one to the other. “Is it because you think Cara’s weak? Or is this a black man and a white woman thing?”
“Wow. None of us said that.” Josh held up his hands.
“No, but you both are coming at me, acting like I’m not good enough, like I’m fucked up or something. So what’s the deal? Man, neither of you even cared about telling Cara goodbye today. You came over when you did because you thought she’d be at the airport and you could tag team my ass. And here you want to get up on your high horses and act like you care. You don’t fucking care about her or me. You just want to tell me how to live my life.”
“That’s, no, Nate. That’s not what this is.” Josh shook his head.
“Then what? Hm? Because Cara knows something is up.” Nate gestured up at the windows to his apartment. “She’s not stupid either.”
“You’re going to hurt Cara. Maybe not intentionally, but you are.” Bryan was glaring at him now, fists clenched at his side, jaw thrust forward.
“When’s the last time you talked to Cara, before you knew she was coming to visit? Hm?” Nate stared deep into Bryan’s eyes. “Did you see her when you went home for Christmas, Bryan? What about you, Josh? You and Ruth invite her out to eat?”
Neither man met Nate’s gaze.
“That’s what I thought. You’re fine telling me all about our friend, Cara, but neither of you even give her the time of day anymore. That’s not what I’d call a friend. Liking statuses and sharing memes isn’t a friend. Being there for her, talking to her, helping her—that’s a friend. You know there isn’t a day that goes by that I don’t hear from her? A text. An email. Something. Hell, she’s been through so fucking much it makes my head hurt, and you don’t even know. You don’t fucking know. So you want to ride out of here on your high horses, smoking your hypocrisy, fine with me. Don’t let the door hit you in the ass on your way out.”
Nate pivoted, heading down the sidewalk. He couldn’t go upstairs, not this pissed off.
“Nate. Nate, wait.” Josh jogged after him.
“I don’t want to talk to you right now.”
Josh didn’t listen. He matched Nate stride for stride.
“You’re right. I’ve been a shitty friend,” Josh said.
Well, that was a ground-breaking admission.
Bryan’s car passed them on his way to the highway. Figured.
“Take your pansy ass home, Bryan,” Nate mumbled.
“Bryan’s butt hurt. We both know that, and we both know Ellie is never going to be the kind of woman Bryan can handle.” Josh shoved his hands into his pockets.
“Man, she’d crush him.”
“I know. Ellie is a black belt ball buster. She had to be. But you and Cara… I’m just worried. Where is this going?”
“I don’t know, man, but I want to find out. We both do.”
“Tell me honestly, what about the tying up shit? Does she know?”
“Josh, do you think I’d lie to your face like that? She knows. We talked about it.”
“Okay. Okay. I’m just…fuck, man, I’m worried what this will do to her. You. Us. I don’t mean to start anything, but…” Josh sighed. “Be happy. Let me know if anything changes. If I can do anything, okay?”
“Yeah. Okay. You know anything about Daphne getting a divorce?” Nate peered at Josh out of the corner of his eye. Josh and his neighbor, dubbed Crazy Daphne, were a combustible combination. Nate had always had his suspicions though.
“Ruth told me. Said it was bad.”
“Sorry to hear that.”
“That’s what happens when you marry a guy you’ve known for less than a week.” Josh shrugged, but his frown said more. He wasn’t indifferent.
Nate’s memories of Daphne were hazy. She’d been a colorful character, hell bent on bugging the shit out of Josh, and by extension the rest of them. He’d bitched and moaned about her all through high school and every time he went home. Josh cared, and sometimes that didn’t come across well.
Like now.
Josh didn’t have all the information, only some of it. He was an asshole, but a well-meaning one, at least. One of his best qualities was admitting when he’d been wrong. It made forgiving Josh and moving on a hell of a lot easier.
They shot the breeze and walked the block until Nate’s head cooled enough he wasn’t spouting profanities and the headache had eased.
At least things with Josh were okay. Bryan would come around. And Cara was in his life. Things were going to be okay. At least, that was what Nate had to tell himself.
He climbed the stairs back up to his apartment. So much for a lazy day with Cara. Tomorrow, he’d have to work, but when he was done, she’d be there. It was the kind of thing he could get used to. They could figure everything out, he just knew it. A little time, some effort, and everything would be okay.
Nate stepped into the quiet apartment, already searching for his girl. Because Cara was his now, and he planned on keeping her.
Chapter Eleven
Cara stared at the floor, lost in her thoughts.
There were moments tonight where…it felt like they’d never stopped being fourteen, taking turns on the game system and passing around Doritos and green onion dip. She had to blame Bryan for that c
ombination. It was the taste of their youth now.
Both Bryan and Josh had moved on. Yeah, they were still her friends, but not in the same way she wanted them to be. They’d grown apart. While she and Nate had held onto each other for selfish reasons. It was still jarring and sad to realize that the people most important to her didn’t feel the same way about her.
The front door opened and only one set of footsteps thumped against the old, wooden floors.
Nate.
She didn’t have to look to know it was him.
The difference was in the electric charge of the air. How every cell in her body seemed to gravitate toward him.
He rounded the sectional and sat next to her. His arm wrapped around her waist, tugging her to his side.
She wanted to put the whole evening out of her head, but she couldn’t. Sorrow gnawed at her, down to the bone.
“They didn’t come here to say goodbye, did they?” She didn’t want to be right, but…
“No. No, they didn’t. Josh feels bad about that, and Bryan will too, once he pulls his head out of his ass.” Nate kissed the top of her head.
“Everyone’s moved on, except me. What did they come here for?” She peered up at his face.
“They…saw the way I was looking at you. I guess they were…coming over to, warn me away? I don’t really know.”
“Because…of the tying people up?” The others knew? And they’d think…the truth.
“Yeah. They wanted to warn me that I’d scare you. That it would be too much.”
“You? Scare me?” That was the silliest idea ever. She’d been around Nate angry, sad, in a football adrenaline high. Scary was not a word she’d ever associate with him.
“What? What’s that look for?” He frowned. “I can be scary.”
“As a teddy bear.” She wrapped her arms around his waist and squeezed. No, he didn’t scare her. The intensity of her feelings did, but not him and not his bedroom bondage tastes.
“I’m scary,” Nate grumbled.
“Sure, you are.” Maybe to someone who didn’t know Nate, but she did. He never made her feel anything other than safe. Protected. And loved.
Now, that was scary. She was about to give up her whole live and move here. To be with Nate. She wanted it to work out, to be her Cinderella solution. No, she didn’t have crazy expectations that their lives would magically be perfect. Things would be hard, but they’d have each other.
