by Box Set
Her phone vibrated and she cringed.
What now?
Besides Nate, who was now locked away in his studio, the only people who called or texted her were people she’d rather avoid right now.
She glanced at the screen, and wished she hadn’t.
Mom.
Cara had chickened out last night and opted to text Denis that she was staying longer, instead of calling her mother. She didn’t know if Mom would be thrilled to be rid of her or what, but this bandage had to come off.
She hit the green Answer button and sucked down a deep breath.
“Hi, Mom,” she said, going for bright and cheerful.
“Where are you?” Mom demanded.
“Oh, uh, did Denis tell you?”
“This morning, when I went to get you out of bed. What are you doing? You’re going to lose your job.”
Cara didn’t blame Denis for waiting until the last moment to tell Mom. Cara’s step-father might not be the type to give her much open support, but he did so in quiet ways. Like not outing her ridiculous decisions to her mother until the last possible second.
“I’ve already squared everything away with work, Mom. It’s fine.” Cara swallowed. She couldn’t bring herself to say the rest of it. It was still too new.
“You need to be here, not farting away every last penny you have. This is stupid, Cara. I’m so disappointed in you.”
“I’m not spending anything.” Okay, so she had bought the thrift store sewing machine, but it was still practically new in the box. It was a steal of a find.
“You’re being completely irresponsible. Why can’t you just grow up?”
“Mom, that’s not fair.”
“Fair? You want to talk about fair?”
Cara winced. Oh, if she could take that word back…
“Fair would mean your father paid me back for every penny he took from me. Fair would mean he didn’t spend your scholarship money before you even knew about it. Fair would mean my grown daughter isn’t living off me. Don’t talk to me about fair.”
“I’m sorry, Mom.” Cara paced into the living room. She needed to move.
“How much is this costing you?”
“Nothing!”
“Changing flights isn’t cheap. You don’t have that much money, Cara. I opened your bank statement.”
Cara squeezed her eyes shut.
Her mother cared. She had a bad way of showing it, but she did care. That was what was important. Dad had damaged them both with his betrayal. It would take time, and maybe distance from Cara, to heal Mom.
“Nate changed my flight. He said he wanted me to stay longer. It’s his Christmas present to me. Us. I guess.”
“This is nonsense, Cara. When you get home, we have to have a serious conversation about what it’s going to take to get you out of here. I cannot be responsible for you anymore.”
“Cara?”
She turned around.
Nate peered out of his studio, finger across his lips.
“Sorry,” she whispered.
Her mother continued the tirade. It never changed, it was always the same.
Cara grabbed her purse and let herself out of the apartment. Nate needed silence and at some point, Cara’s mother would say something that cut deep enough she’d cry. It wouldn’t be pretty, but it was routine. Cara should be used to this by now, but she wasn’t.
She wrapped an arm around herself, bit her lower lip, and started down the sidewalk, no place in mind. Just walking. Half an hour later and a dump truck full of Mom guilt, Cara sat on a bench, staring at the concrete in front of her.
The yawning emptiness inside of her hurt. Sometimes she wished her family could have continued as they were with Dad. He’d always made them happy, Mom had laughed. But it was a smoke screen. He’d used humor to make them oblivious to the hole he was digging for them.
A lot of what Cara’s mother said was true, in parts. But not all of it. It was hard to remember that at times. She wasn’t her father. Yes, they were similar in ways, but she could be different.
Cara sucked down a deep breath and glanced at her phone. Typically she’d be at work, mired in some project or another. Now…she was at odds. Yes, she could go back to the apartment and get to work on her thrift store finds, but…she wanted to talk to someone. Nate was busy. The rest of her friends didn’t really care about her, as she’d learned last night. So, now what?
She clicked into Facebook, an above-average number of notifications beckoning her,
A new friend request.
What were the chances it was another older man, looking for love?
Ellie…Orakzai? How was that even pronounced?
Cara accepted the request. Because, why not?
A new message popped up next to the other notifications.
Curious, Cara tapped the messages. It wasn’t one of the standard, you’re now friends with so-and-so prompt.
Hey Cara! It was nice to meet you yesterday. Hope to see you again. :)
Cara stared at Ellie’s smiling face.
Ellie was Nate’s friend. Would it be weird if Cara talked to her, too?
What the hell?
Nice to meet you, too.
I’ll be here the rest of the week. Maybe we’ll meet up?
Cara winced.
Was that a lame thing to say? Should she put a bit more thought into the messages?
A reply popped up almost immediately.
Cool! We should do lunch sometime.
Hell, what are you doing for lunch now?
Well…that was fast.
What was she doing?
Nate had warned her he was going to be in his studio for a long time. If she went out, she wouldn’t be in his way, she wouldn’t be there to bother him, and maybe she could…get another woman’s perspective on her life.
Getting myself lost. Lunch would be great, but I’m stranded.
What would Cara talk about with someone like Ellie?
LoL, not a problem. There’s a cool café near Nate’s place. What intersection are you at? Be there in 10.
Cara ambled toward the nearest cross street and fired off another message. Should she check in with Nate? See if this was okay? She didn’t want to trespass with his new friends. She always over-thought things. Besides, Ellie had reached out to Cara.
Whatever.
She was putting too much meaning into this. Just because things with Nate were and weren’t complicated didn’t mean everything else had to be. She fired off the names of the streets and settled in to wait for her ride, equal parts nervous and excited.
California was a new life. New possibilities. Could this be her reality? She wanted it so badly she was scared of it.
Almost ten minutes exactly Ellie and Cara were cruising down the street, windows lowered and some sort of bass heavy electronic music thumping in the background.
“I should have asked, do you like Middle Eastern food?” Ellie turned her mini cooper into the parking lot of a small building. The outdoor seating area was easily as big as the actual restaurant.
“We have one Indian place that I know, but…that’s not really Middle Eastern food, is it?”
“No.” Ellie chuckled.
“If you can tell me what to order, I’m game to try it.”
“Deal.” Ellie flashed her a smile and rolled the windows up. “Thanks for going to lunch with me. I was going stir crazy at home.”
“No problem. I don’t know what I’d be doing anyway.”
“Nate being a bad host?”
“Oh, no. He’s great.” Cara scrambled out of the car, following Ellie into the building. “I was supposed to go home last night, but…I’m staying through the rest of the week.”
“That’s awesome. If Nate has to work and you’re bored, hit me up. This is the slow part of my year and I hate it.” Ellie made a disgusted sound and pushed her sunglasses up on top of her head. Her hair was wound up in some sort of huge Tinkerbelle bun that somehow still looked…trendy. Stylish. But not like she
was trying.
Ellie was quite simply the kind of girl Cara wanted to be. Pretty. Likeable. Different and yet normal. Cara could try to be like Ellie, and Cara would fail. Thoughts like that used to depress her, but she’d given up worrying about it. She was who she was.
The café hostess seated them in a booth and left them with menus and water.
“Um…Ellie?” Cara blinked at the pages.
“Oh, shoot.” Ellie peered at her menu. “I can read it for you if you like.”
“What…language…is that?” Cara tilted her head to the side, as if that would make the script any easier to read.
“Pakistani. My family knows the people who own the place and I come here way too much. Lulu probably didn’t even think about it. What do you normally like to eat?”
They went over the food, Ellie offering commentary and little facts about the different dishes. How her father made, it versus the restaurant. What was tweaked to appeal to the American patrons and what was authentic. In the end, they settled on an appetizer and two entrées. Cara still wasn’t sure what she was getting, but it was an adventure either way.
“So…may I ask if you’re…um…about the language?” Crap. Was this one of those things she shouldn’t ask about?
“How do I speak Pakistani?” Ellie chuckled.
“Is that okay to ask?”
“I’m Pakistani. It’s not a secret. I was born there and my parents immigrated when I was very little. I don’t really have memories of what it was like, but my parents are pretty big on making sure I know about my history.”
“Oh. Wow. Is it…can I ask why?”
“You can ask whatever you want. My mother was from Israeli and a Jew. Dad from Pakistan and Muslim. They were kind of like…Romeo and Juliet. Completely forbidden love, no way it would work out, but they went for it. They couldn’t keep living in Pakistan without my mother being in danger and they couldn’t live in Israel because of my dad’s faith. So, they immigrated.”
“Wow. Are they glad they did? I mean, is it better here?”
“Yeah, but they still got divorced. They love each other, but there were too many differences.”
“I’m sorry.”
“Don’t be.” Ellie shrugged. “They’re still friends. Dad gave mom away at her second wedding. My step-dad and he are golfing buddies. It’s kind of weird, but they’re happy and now, instead of two parents, I have three. Four, if my dad ever gets over his fear of commitment. He’s been dating this really great woman for three years now. I keep telling him if he doesn’t ask her soon she’s going to leave him. She’s way out of his league, too.”
“That’s…that’s great. For them. You.” Cara couldn’t imagine a world where her mom and dad could be in the same room, much less friendly.
“What are you guys doing this week? Any big plans?”
“No, not really.” Cara shrugged.
“So…you and Nate, huh?”
“Uh…” Cara’s mouth stopped working and her whole body suddenly went boiling hot.
What was she supposed to say? Do? Were they admitting this? Nate had held her hand last night around Josh and Bryan, but the guys hadn’t so much as glanced their way. Were they telling people? What would Nate do? Was it a secret?
“Wow.” Ellie’s eyes went wide. “Are you…okay?”
“Yes. Fine. I don’t know how to answer that question.” Cara hated how high her voice went, but her throat was tight, her mouth dry. She stared at the table, wishing the ground would swallow her up. Here, she’d been proud of herself for handling the friends to…dating with Nate with little ultra-awkwardness. It seemed that she was saving all of that for moments like this.
“I, uh, just assumed…you want a drink?” Ellie nudged the water across to Cara.
Cara tore her straw open and stuck it in the ice water, sucking deep, trying to cool herself from the inside out. Ellie watched her the whole time without comment.
“Want to talk about it?” she asked when Cara finally sat back.
Cara opened her mouth and shut it. Staring at the table, she could see Ellie’s reflection in the glass. It was better than having to look at her befuddled expression.
Normal women didn’t act like this, did they?
Cara was hopeless.
God, what was she doing?
“You and Nate seem like you fit. Sorry, I just assumed it was, ya know, a thing.” Ellie tore her straw wrapper into tiny bits, making a pile of paper snow.
“It’s…well, it wasn’t a thing. Until recently, I mean. I’m still,” Cara gestured to her face, “not sure what’s going on.”
“You want to talk about it?” Ellie asked again.
“I don’t know?” Cara did, and she didn’t know how to. Where to start.
“Some guys do that to you. The good ones at least.” Ellie smiled and propped her chin in her hand. “Just from the way he’s talked about you, since I met him, I sort of figured it was a meant to be thing.”
“Really? He…he talked about me?”
“Yeah. I went through a really rough patch this last year and Nate was a great friend. Sometimes, I just needed to talk to someone and he’d go off, telling me these stories about you guys and the stuff you used to do.”
“Oh.”
“It’s just…the way he talks about you. He always gets this,” she gestured to her face, “smile. It’s different. Like, you make him really happy. I duno, it just seemed like that kind of feeling, that happiness, was… I’m talking crazy. Sorry.”
“No… Thank you.” Cara pushed her hand back through her hair. What did she say? “I suck at being a girl. I don’t know how to talk about any of this, or what to do, or what I might be doing wrong or…”
“Wow. Take a breath. Here’s our food.”
The same woman delivered a tray of steaming hot food. Cara’s stomach growled, sounding a lot like a yeti.
“Try this first.” Ellie nudged the appetizer dish toward her. “You don’t have to tell me anything, by the way. I’m just nosey is all. Nate’s been a really good friend, and I feel like I know you from listening to him. He’s a great guy, and I’d like to see him happy.”
Nate talked about her?
Weird, he’d never mentioned Ellie until now. Why was that? He’d also not talked a whole lot about other people, too. Like Samir, who appeared to be one of the regular guys now. As often as Nate talked to Cara, she couldn’t understand how these people didn’t come up more often. Maybe Cara had just monopolized the conversation. She did that with Nate sometimes. It was probably nothing.
“I could…use some advice.” Cara tried not to squirm. She couldn’t ask Ellie about Nate’s particular tastes. That wouldn’t be right to share something that personal, but there were other, not-him things she could ask about.
“Oh? About what?” Ellie chewed her food. “Full disclosure, I’m not good at relationships.”
“Me neither.”
“There you go.” She grinned.
“I need to get some more clothes. I didn’t pack a whole lot for this trip and I’ve already washed some of my clothes twice.”
“Shopping. Oh, man, that’s dangerous. I can totally hook you up though. Little known fact? The thrift stores here are crazy, if you go into some of the swankier areas.”
“Oh my God, yes! I got a sewing machine this morning at one. I can’t tell if it was ever actually used.”
“I get crazy stuff at thrift stores. Actually, there’s one across town that’s having a big clearance event. Want to go this afternoon?”
“Yes.”
“Sweet. I really didn’t want to go by myself.” Ellie wrinkled her nose.
Cara was going shopping. With another girl. It was like some crazy Twilight Zone version of her life. She’d always wanted friends to go shopping with. At best she could sometimes get her mom to go with her, but that was happening less and less often these days.
“Just an FYI, we could run into some of my least favorite people.” Ellie rolled her eyes
.
“Yeah?”
“You know I’m Josh’s assistant, right?”
“Nate told me.”
“See, I do PA work for four different people. I used to just work for two people, and one of them was a raging dick. He used to send me to thrift stores to look for old games. Now, I don’t work for him anymore, and I run into him sometimes. It’s messy.”
“That sucks.”
“It so does. And like, I have a restraining order because of some bullshit that happened, and he doesn’t care. So if we’re shopping and he shows up, I have to leave because he won’t. Restraining orders are such crap.”
“Wow. That serious?”
“Nate didn’t tell you?”
“I don’t think so…no?”
Ellie blinked at her. Was Nate somehow involved? Had he just not told Cara? What was the big deal?
“Well…so…there’s this show called Legend. They used to have this guy named Adam as their lead anchor, personality dude. Adam was my boss. He also plays video games professionally, does a lot of cons and contests and shit. Total dick. I…started working for him at a really desperate point, so even though I hated the air he breathed, I needed the job. Things got really complicated and I couldn’t quit for a few different reasons, even though I really wanted to. At the end, I was just working for him when the shit hit the fan. You remember Tamara?”
“Yeah.”
“Well, she was on the show, Legend, before she came to HitPoint. Adam used to harass her daily. Like, I don’t know how she didn’t knock the shit out of him, she’s a professional badass. Anyway, he pushed her too far finally and she went after him for assault and harassment. Adam goes ballistic, he and I butted heads, some shit went down and I finally walked away. Josh hired me and brought me on to HitPoint, which has been amazing. So, super long story short, I had a terrible boss that made me hate my life, day dream about killing myself and getting out probably saved me.”
And Nate had never mentioned any of it. Cara knew the name Legend, but the rest of it was news to her.
“You are probably regretting coming to lunch with me now.” Ellie sighed and tucked a stray piece of hair up into her bun.
“No, not at all.”
“It’s okay. Pretty much everyone hates me now, and I can’t say that I blame them.”
