by K. Langston
There was so much hunger.
Desire rumbled beneath my fingers, burning with the same intensity rushing through me. It owned every single part of me.
Right down to my battered soul.
Can I belong to myself and someone else?
Because I want to belong to this man. This passionate, beautiful man who rescued me from the depths of hell. Picked me up and put me back on me feet.
The rough pads of his thumb brushed the skin of my cheek, quietly commanding the kiss. A kiss that reminded me of what love truly was.
This is a level beyond love. In its purest form. Basic and raw. Without any expectations, consequences, or obligations.
Only unyielding truth.
“I love you.”
Those three words carried a weight so great, a deep breath of relief escaped with them.
Another kiss, this one merciless with an underlying promise of so many things but mostly…
“I love you, too.”
It felt like floating.
Flying.
I couldn’t decide.
My fingers fanned both sides of his face. The scruff sent a shiver through my body, pooling heat between my legs.
“Been waiting a long fucking time to do that.”
“What took you so long?” I asked between heated kisses.
His tongue slipped deeper inside, licking at mine with fevered possession—exhilarating and terrifying.
Undoubtedly right.
I pressed my palms against his chest and he immediately slowed the kiss, resting his forehead against mine. “Slow. You need slow. I know that. It’s just—I want you so fucking bad, baby. Not just your body, even though, I won’t lie”—his arm squeezed me tighter against him, his erection digging hard into my hip—“I’m dying to be inside of you. I want you to be mine completely, but I also want you to know I would wait a fucking lifetime if that’s what you need.”
“You don’t have to wait that long,” I said, taking his lips once more, earning myself a relieved growl.
He scooped me up, carrying me down the hall to his bedroom. My heart leaped in my chest while desire swirled in my lower belly, as he gently laid me down on the bed before he rose up to peel the shirt from his back. I licked my lips in appreciation. I’d seen him without a shirt a few times over the last several weeks, but it was merely a glimpse compared to the full feature I was enjoying now. He was beautiful, raw. Lean and cut in so many delicious ways.
From the sharp planes and ridges of his sculpted chest and abs all the way down to the veins in his arms. Part of me was intimidated by him. I knew how dangerous a man’s body could be, especially their fists. But I knew in my heart, Ryker would never hurt me.
He bent one knee, pressing it into the bed to straddle my thighs, then his hand disappeared beneath the hem of my shirt, warm fingers grazing the skin of my belly before he dipped his head and placed a soft kiss there.
“My mind is racing right now, with all the things I want to do to you. Things I want to say.”
Another kiss as he inched my top up further.
My breath grew heavier. “What do you want to say?”
“So many things, but I’m only capable of short, direct words right now, because I’m so goddamn high off your scent.”
His fingers curled under my chin, lifting my eyes to his. Then his mouth was on mine, need pouring off him in waves of heat so hot I could hardly breathe.
“Beautiful,” he whispered into my mouth, over and over until my body completely melted beneath his.
He kissed me deep.
Thorough.
Telling me with every swipe of his hungry tongue that he wanted me. Telling me just how beautiful he thought I was. Then his lips traveled to my cheek, moving slowly to the angry scar on the side of my face, where he landed not one but two tender kisses.
Each soft caress of his warm lips was like a balm to my battered soul, healing me one gentle kiss at a time.
Those remarkable lips trailed down to the base of my throat, tasting the fevered flesh there, worshiping me.
Healing me.
My chest rose and fell with desperation. Desperate for the simplicity of the moment, uncomplicated by expectations, and reckless with our desire.
His hands moved to the button of my jeans as his mouth began its sweet, slow descent, pressing a kiss upon each swell of my breasts, just below my bra and then right above my hipbone. Dipping his fingers inside the waistband of my jeans, his rough knuckles grazed my skin, eliciting a band of goose bumps.
“Can I take these off?” he asked in a low, husky voice.
“Yes.”
Slipping off my one shoe, he removed my socks and jeans too, careful not to jostle my foot in the process. “Fuck, this might be harder than I thought.”
“What?” I asked, suddenly feeling self-conscious.
He leaned forward, pressing his hips into the wet valley between my thighs.
A nervous breath caught in my throat. “Ryker, it’s been so long since I’ve—he wouldn’t let me—um…”
Ryker’s face studied mine, and I saw when realization hit him. “He wouldn’t let you what? Come?”
Swallowing thickly, I nodded.
When Trent and I had sex, it was all for his pleasure. Never mine. Everything I did was to make him happy.
It felt good to do something for myself for once.
I wanted this.
I wanted Ryker.
More than I could ever recall wanting anyone or anything.
His jaw ticked ruthlessly as he ground his teeth. “You don’t have to worry about that with me. You feel it, baby, you let go. You never have to hold back with me.”
“What if I can’t?”
“Trust me, you will.”
That deep voice of his was full of so much confidence, I couldn’t help but smile. Stark need embedded on his rugged face, his lips connecting with my knee—soft and wet—before they descended, but not without appreciating the journey. There wasn’t an inch of my skin he didn’t touch. A curve he didn’t explore. I’d never felt more cherished.
Worshiped.
Finally, after torturing me to the edge of my insanity, his mouth moved between my open legs, the heat of his breath tickling my fevered flesh.
“Close your eyes, baby.”
Reluctantly, I did as he said.
“Now, I want you to relax. Set your mind free and allow yourself to feel every second of this with me. Let your hands go where they want. Don’t hold back. I want you to completely let go. You with me?”
All I could do was nod, my heart beating wildly inside of my chest. He waited patiently for me to close my eyes, and once I exhaled a long, cleansing breath, his lips returned to my lower belly, but I felt the contact all the way down to the tips of toes.
I repeated his words over and over. Cleared my mind, allowing myself to feel nothing but him. His hands were steady and sure, but when his fingers slowly pulled the fabric of my panties aside, a part of me died inside.
The part that was afraid to feel pleasure.
The part that feared everything.
I let her go.
Watched her plummet into an endless black hole.
Born in its place was something better. Something beautiful. Something much stronger. Something far more than I could ever hope for.
I cried out when his lips met the juncture of my thighs, fisting the sheet beneath me, trying to anchor myself to the bed so I wouldn’t fly away. But that plan failed when his tongue finally met my flesh. I didn’t know what came over me, but it was a feeling I couldn’t deny even if I tried. Maybe it was all of those years of being caged. Maybe it was Ryker’s magic touch.
Either way, I finally felt free.
My back bowed from the bed, hips eagerly joining the fight for more of his wondrous mouth, seeking it.
Demanding it.
My fingers pierced through his hair, fisting the locks in my hand while blood coursed through my veins rapidly, screaming for r
elease. That long forgotten pull began to build low in my tummy. He must have sensed the urgency in my touch because he dove deeper, lapping up every last bit of my inhibitions. I twisted and bucked against his mouth, falling apart beneath him, crying out his name repeatedly until my voice was weak and raw.
His warm lips pressed against my trembling inner thighs, then moved to my ribs before they found their way between my bare breasts, holding ground for what seemed like forever before finally bringing his extraordinary mouth to mine.
“That’s the way it should always be. You come first, always.”
He spent an exceptional amount of time kissing me, our tastes fusing together to create the most unique, addicting flavor. I couldn’t get close enough to him. I couldn’t stop listening to his heart beat like thunder in his chest, pounding against my ear like a raging storm.
One that calmed me and filled my veins with lightning.
I don’t remember falling asleep in his arms, but I do remember thinking I could stay there forever.
Breathe.
Thanks to the man standing on the other side of the door, it was getting easier to do. I gave myself one last glance in the mirror, still looking for some kind of miracle.
The bruises had faded quite a bit and what remained could be concealed with some light makeup, but it was still there, reminding me of the past I was trying every day to overcome. Ryker had taken me to the doctor for my follow-up visit yesterday, and after an X-ray, my cast was removed, I was put in this boot, and scheduled in for my first physical therapy session on Monday.
Thankfully, I still hadn’t spoken to Trent. Due to his lawyer’s advice, he pled guilty to the charges against him. However, because he had no criminal record, he was let off easy. A slap on the wrist if you asked me. Along with some community service, he was also forced to take anger management classes. A full protection order had been put in place, and his lawyer assured me, he would not contact me or contest the divorce in any way.
I had a hard time believing he would let me go so easily, considering his previous threats, but he hadn’t contacted me. I hoped it remained that way so I could move on without ever having to see him again.
My tummy did a backflip, kick-starting my heart as I spun around to open the door.
Breathe.
One month might not seem like a long time, but spending the majority of it with Ryker felt more like years had passed. He’d been incredibly patient, demonstrating the control of a saint, but I could see it each time he looked at me. The same need that grew inside of me, lived inside of him, and we were both hanging on by a thread.
Finally, I gathered enough courage to open the door, where I was met with a set of sharp blue eyes, his fisted hand hanging midair.
“I was just coming to check on you,” he said, lowering his hand and taking a step forward. “Jesus, you look beautiful.”
“Thank you.”
Reese had helped me dye my hair back to my original color, and by the look on Ryker’s face, I’d say I made a good choice.
His hand moved to the back of my neck, threading through the dark locks before his mouth covered mine in a breath-robbing kiss.
It was difficult to stay upright when he kissed me like this.
Goose bumps raced across my skin as his gaze settled with mine, promising so much with just a simple look.
“Ready?” I asked, my voice cracking under his intense stare.
He grazed a thumb across my cheek, concern embedded on his face. “Sure you’re up for this?” Brows drawn together, he dipped his head closer, bringing his woodsy scent with him.
“I’m sure.”
He leaned in, pressing a soft kiss to my forehead. “Let’s go.”
When I moved to take a step, a wave of nausea slammed into me, my mouth pooling with saliva.
“Whoa, you okay?” Ryker asked, reaching out to steady me.
“Yeah, I uh, just got dizzy there for a second.”
“You don’t look so good.”
“Thanks a lot,” I teased.
“You know what I mean. Your face is really pale. Come sit down and rest a minute before we go.”
“No, I’m fine, I’ll rest in the car.”
“MaryAnn.” His tone held a slight warning.
“Ryker, I said I’m fine. I didn’t have much to eat today. That’s probably why I’m so lightheaded. Just grab me a banana and let’s go. I don’t want to be late.”
I could tell he wanted to argue, but he didn’t. Instead, he filled a bag with snacks, a few bananas, and several bottles of water before leading me to the car.
* * *
Ryker’s parents lived about four hours away in Cooperstown. They’d moved further outside the city after his father had retired from the city a few years ago. The drive was beautiful and did a lot to soothe my nerves.
“So, you never told me about Reid and Justin. What have they been up to?”
“Reid is well, Reid. When he’s not working, which is all the time, he’s surfing.”
“No girlfriend or wife?”
“Nope. Mom thinks he’s gay.”
I chuckled. “No way.”
“We’ve never seen him with anyone. Reid always loved to swim, but once he figured out how to surf, it was as if he’d found himself, and he never really made time for anything else. He spent hours practicing and competed as much as he could throughout high school, even went semi-pro after he graduated. But then his best friend, Bodie, was murdered and he shut down.”
“What?”
“Bodie was one of the best surfers on the west coast, but he was also a cokehead. Reid tried to get him clean. Tried to keep him on track, but Bodie got caught up with some hard-core dealers. He owed a lot of money to one of them. Reid found him cut up in his apartment. His body had been completely dismembered.”
“Oh my God.”
Ryker shook his head. “He just wasn’t the same after that.”
“Who would be? That’s terrible. Poor Reid.”
“Not long after that he went to the academy then moved out west.”
“So sad. My heart breaks for him. I can’t believe everyone moved away. Everyone but you.”
“My heart will always be in New York,” he said, lifting my hand to kiss the back.
Could this man be any more perfect?
“What about Justin?”
“He moved to Texas to live with our grandfather, after he had a heart attack, several years ago. He helps him take care of the ranch and is a sergeant with Dallas PD. And he listens to country music now.”
I chuckled. “What’s wrong with that?”
“He used to be the biggest metal head I know.”
“People change,” I stated proudly.
Lifting my hand to his mouth once more, he gave it another kiss. “That they do, baby. That they do.”
We pulled up to the Oteaga Resort, where the party was being held. I had been under the assumption that I would be staying with Ryker tonight, because well, we’ve been sleeping in the same bed for the last week. So, why was I suddenly nervous about the notion of sleeping with him?
We’d kissed a lot.
Done…other things.
But we hadn’t made love yet, and I’d been content with that.
Until now.
The valet driver opened my door and Ryker grabbed our bags from the backseat, rounding the front to take my hand. He looked so handsome tonight, wearing dark jeans and a blue button-down shirt. He’d skipped shaving this morning and the result was breathtaking.
Once we checked in, we made our way downstairs. We were a little early because his parents wanted to have family photos taken before everyone else got there. They were all standing out on the veranda when we arrived.
“Uncle Ry, Uncle Ry!”
A young girl, who I assumed was Isabelle, spotted us first. Barreling toward Ryker at breakneck speed, she wore a soft pink dress with a big bow on the front and a pair of white, high-top Converse sneakers.
“Uncle
Ry!”
Thrusting herself into his arms, her small hands locked around his neck as she squeezed.
“I missed you.”
“Hey, Dizzy Izzy, how’s my sweet girl?”
She pulled back, frowning at him. “Today has been a lot better than yesterday. Yesterday was horrible.”
“What happened?”
“No one played with me all day. First, my best friend, Gracie, wasn’t there. Then Baylee got in trouble and couldn’t play with me. Then John Michael left early. Then that stupid Eli took my chair from me and no one would sit by me. And worst of all…Remi wouldn’t even play with me all day. And he always plays with me. Like one minute of Ninja Turtles and then he played with two other boys and not me! It was perfect in the morning and then BOOM! Worst day ever!”
“I’m sorry you had a bad day, Izzy girl, but I’m not sure how I feel about you hanging around all those boys. Your father knows about this?”
“Yes, but he doesn’t like it either. He says if I ever invite a boy over to play, he’ll change him from a rooster to a hen with one shot, but I don’t know what that means. What’s that mean, Uncle Ry?”
“It means you better stop playing with boys.”
“Well, girls are dumb. I only like Gracie and Baylee because they like playing with boys, too.”
Ryker looked up at Denver. “I think this Gracie and Baylee are bad influences on your daughter.”
“No kidding.”
She favored Denver a lot, but I could see Suzy in her eyes, always kind and outgoing. My heart ached for her, knowing what it’s like to lose a parent. At least I was lucky enough to know mine for thirteen years before she died.
Izzy hadn’t been that fortunate.
“Who is she?” Izzy asked, pointing up at me.
Ryker stood to his full height, holding Izzy’s hand. “Izzy, this is MaryAnn.”
She extended her hand. “My name is Isabelle Rae Cunningham.”
“MaryAnn Nicole—” I paused, not wanting to say his last name.
“Glover,” Ryker finished for me.
“Are you his girlfriend?”
Ryker swung his eyes to mine, possessiveness heavy in his gaze. “Yeah, Izzy, she’s all mine.”
Izzy wrapped her tiny arms around my waist, hugging me tight. “Nice to meet you, MaryAnn.”
