She’ll leave you if you let her. You have to make her yours. Claim her as yours before she chooses another.
The thought is almost like a whisper, brushing against my ear and the inside of my mind at the same time. Something familiar, and yet not, but I know it’s the truth. I have to be sure Harper will choose me. Sharing a meal with her will help to calm any concerns she has, and I think I might be hungry. I don’t remember eating today anyway.
Turning on the faucet, I splash water over my face and grab the towel to dry off, checking my reflection once more before I open the door and head into the kitchen. Harper is wearing her clothes again, and I chuckle as I look down. “I think I’m a little under-dressed.”
Harper grins when she glances at me, her gaze lingering near my hips. “Maybe a bit. Do you still feel cold?”
“Not right now.”
“Okay, well...” She laughs a little, picking up the plates off the counter to carry them to the table. “Go put on some clothes anyway. I’ve got the food ready.”
Stepping forward, I catch her arm and spin her to face me. “You don’t get to tell me what to do, Harper.”
Her brown eyes go wide as she stares up at me, and I tighten my grip on her arm when she tries to pull away. Eventually, she swallows and does her best to sound calm when she finally responds. “I wasn’t trying to tell you what to do, Jared. It’s up to you if you want to eat naked.”
“That’s true. It is my choice,” I say, leaning forward to press a kiss to her forehead before I let go of her arm. “But I think pants would be a good idea.”
“Okay,” she whispers, her gaze avoiding me when I offer her a smile. It’s not the best reply, but I’ll take it for now.
When I head back into the bedroom, a wave of dizziness hits me and I stumble into the bed.
Protect Harper.
Protect.
My stomach twists as the thought pulses behind my eyes like a throbbing headache, and I struggle to remember why I came into the bedroom in the first place.
Clothes. I need to get dressed so we can eat lunch. Harper made lunch for us, and I need to eat.
Nodding to myself, I kneel down beside my duffel bag to pick out clean clothes, but one whiff of myself tells me I shouldn’t ruin them before I shower. That leaves me the still damp shirt on the floor, and the jeans and boxers I had on before Harper and I had sex. As I’m shoving the clean clothes back into my duffel bag, my fingers brush against the ring box and I carefully lift it out.
This is why we’re here.
My thoughts are all jumbled, making it hard to focus, but I know this is why I brought her out here. This is my family’s sacred space, a place meant only for family, which is why I wanted to ask her here. It was supposed to mean more because this place, this land, is where my family has been for over a century. We’ve walked it, generation after generation, passing it down.
Now, this is my forest, and I always knew when I finally brought a girl out here it would be special. She would be special.
And Harper is that and so much more.
The headache pounds again, and I drop the ring box back into my bag and rub at my temple, trying to make it go away. When it continues to thud behind my eye, I shove the box to the bottom of my duffel and stand up to find my dirty clothes.
I’m still dizzy as I gather them off the floor, and it’s even harder to focus. I keep staring at the journals on the ground, wondering why Harper would touch them. They’re not hers. Not yet anyway. I have to make her a part of the family first.
I have to claim her.
Shaking my head, I rub at the buzzing in my ear before I pull on my jeans and button them. Finally dressed, I look at the lamp on the bedside table, tapping it a few times to see if I can get the weird electric hum to stop — but it doesn’t. Picking it up and shaking it doesn’t make a difference either, so I set it back down and make a mental note to look for light bulbs. Just in case this one is about to go out.
“Jared?” Harper calls for me, and for some reason her voice grates on me even though I know she’s just reminding me that lunch is ready. I try to brush it off, but the irritation lingers along with the buzz in my ears as I head back to the table.
8
Harper
I'm relieved that Jared is eating, but the heavy silence is bothering me. He's sick, or at the very least he's not feeling well... but he won't admit it to me. I'm not sure if this is some kind of man thing where they refuse to admit anything is wrong until they're basically too weak to move, or if I'm just overreacting.
I don't think I'm making this up though.
He still looks too pale, and he's eating slowly instead of wolfing it down like he always does. Hell, I've seen him eat a large pizza on his own before, and somehow one sandwich has taken him over fifteen minutes to get halfway through.
"Babe?" I break the silence again and he just looks up at me, eyes sunken and red, waiting for me to continue talking. "Did you want to go on the hike today?"
"Maybe later," he mutters, and I shift in my seat, glancing out the window at the sunlight. I haven't checked my phone in a while, but I know it's after noon by now.
"Well, how long does the hike up the mountain take? That way we can figure out when we need to leave so we still have daylight when we're coming back down." I try to keep my voice upbeat, encouraging, but Jared just stares at me for a moment before he takes another bite of his sandwich, chewing slowly.
Okay...
"If you don't feel up to it, that's okay too," I offer, smiling just in case he looks at me, which he doesn't. "We can do whatever you're in the mood for, even if that's just hanging out in front of the fireplace and those creepy deer heads."
"They're trophies."
"That's cool..." Tucking one of my legs into the chair, I lean forward on the table. "Are any of them yours?"
"Yes. We always mount the first deer we take down." His voice is deadpan, weirdly empty, and I hate that he's pulling away from me again. After the sex he seemed so freaked out, and while I wasn't exactly comfortable with what happened, I'd still hoped we could talk about it… but he's made it pretty clear that's not going to be a topic of conversation.
Looking over at the deer heads, I try to ignore the black holes of their eyes. "Which one is yours?"
"The one to the left of the fireplace." Jared turns in his seat, pointing toward the one just off the side of the stone hearth, then he moves his finger further left. "That one is Ollie's."
"So, you only keep the first ones you kill?" I ask, and his arm drops as he faces the table again, but his eyes are on the food instead of me.
"We don't hunt for trophies. We hunt to feed the family, and our friends. It's about providing, not about showing off. It's why the deer are mounted here and nowhere else." He pushes the plate back and suddenly stands up. "I'm going for a walk."
"Oh, okay! I'll come with you." Pushing my chair back, I stand up and follow after him, but he turns to face me, and I freeze.
"You should stay here, Harper." More deadpan tone. He doesn't even sound like Jared when he talks to me like that and I hate it.
"I don't want to stay here. I want to come with you." The words come out a little whiny, but at this point I don't even care. I just want him to stop pushing me away. When he shakes his head, anger flares to life in my chest. "You're not making any sense, Jared! Earlier you were acting like you thought I was going to leave you, and you couldn't stop saying that I'm yours when you were fucking me, but now you don't even want me going on a walk with you?"
"I won't be gone long."
"Then why can't I come with you?" I ask, exasperated by the hot and cold bullshit.
"I... I just want to check the woods. Make sure we're safe to go out." He's looking at the door with a kind of desperation that I don't really understand, but I know he won't give in. At least this time he didn't bite my head off over it.
"Fine. I guess I'll just wait here and watch a movie or something. Or, wait, am I allowed to touch t
he TV?" Laughing bitterly, I walk toward the couch and throw my hands up. "Before you go is there anything else I'm not allowed to touch in this cabin? Anything that might piss you off?"
"No." Jared shakes his head and opens the front door, and I watch him walk out without even a glance back at me.
"Are you fucking kidding me!" I shout at the door as it closes, but he doesn't come back inside. Growling under my breath, I stomp into the bedroom and strip off my clothes, deciding that a shower is what I need right now.
No, what I really need is for us to just go home.
Jared has been getting weirder and weirder the longer we stay here and I'm over it. As soon as he gets back from his 'walk,' we're going to talk about it. Maybe we can even pack up and get on the road in time to be home before dark.
Whether or not this cabin is important to him, it's definitely not the romantic getaway weekend he'd described it as.
If anything, it's only driving a wedge between us, and I love him too much to let this stupid place tear us apart.
I'm halfway through the original Poltergeist movie when I finally hear the door open behind me. Reaching for the remote, I pause it and stand up from the couch, crossing my arms as Jared walks back inside. He's coated in sweat, looking even worse than he did before he left, and all of my irritation evaporates as I rush over to him. "What the fuck, Jared? Are you okay? What did you do out there?"
"I went for a run," he answers, still deadpan but breathing hard. When he lifts his head to look around the room, he wobbles, and it seems like he's about to pass out on his feet. "I need to sit down."
"Yeah, I think that's a good idea." Grabbing his arm, I help him over to the couch, and while his shirt is soaked with sweat again, I can tell he's cold. "Jesus Christ, Jared. What were you thinking? You already weren't feeling well, and you decide to go for a run in the woods? You're even more pale than you were when you left."
"Had to run," he mumbles, and I roll my eyes as I walk into the kitchen to get a glass of water for him.
"Well, you're not doing that again." Walking back to the couch, I offer the glass of water and the look he gives me is almost... hateful.
"Don't tell me what to do, Harper."
"Are you fucking kidding me, Jared? Something is WRONG with you! You haven't been right since we got here and I'm getting seriously worried about you. I think you're sick and we need to go home."
"NO!" he shouts, shoving himself up from the couch, and I step back as he faces me. "You're not leaving."
"I'm not planning on going anywhere by myself. We both need to leave, Jared. We need to go home." Walking around him, I slam the glass on the coffee table, not even caring that water splashes out of it. "If you don't want me trying to take care of you, then stop putting yourself in harm's way. Pay attention to your body, Jared. Something isn't right and if you keep pushing yourself, you're going to get hurt and I don't even know how the fuck to get out of here. Have you even thought about that? About what would happen to me if you'd passed out in the woods on your fucking run?"
"I'd never leave you here. I'm fine."
"You mean you'd never leave me here on purpose, but how would you prevent it if you fell and broke your leg? Or just passed out because you're obviously sick and pushing yourself anyway?" Groaning, I turn away from him to get my shoes from beside the door. "You know what? I don't know what's wrong with you, but I think I'm the one that needs a walk right now. Why don't you take a shower and think really hard about how you're actually feeling."
"Stop telling me what to do, Harper. I mean it." There's a threat in his voice, an actual threat, and if I wasn't already so fucking angry, I'd probably feel scared of him right now... but as soon as I pull on my other shoe, I just rip open the front door.
"Maybe instead of being such an asshole, you should think over what I'm saying to you. I'll be back in a bit."
"You can't leave me, Harper." Jared moves toward me and this time I actually feel a trickle of fear down my spine. "I won't let you."
"That's not your choice right now. I'm going on a walk, you take a shower. That way we can both cool off."
"DAMMIT!" he shouts, turning away from me to grab onto the back of the couch. His fingers dig into the leather so hard that his knuckles turn white and I hold onto the doorknob, afraid to move, even though I'd meant it when I said it wasn't his choice whether or not I went on a walk. "Just... don't leave the clearing. Don't go. I mean... fuck!" I think Jared is shaking, but I can't tell for sure, and my anger starts to fade as concern takes center stage again.
"Jared?" I move a little closer to him, but he tenses up and I stop.
"Get out. Just don't go too far. Don't go where I can't see you. I don't—" A groan rips out of him and he almost buckles, leaning forward onto the back of the couch. "Fuck. Please. Just go outside."
His voice is strained, and I want to help... but I don't know how. Swallowing, I ignore the rush of goose bumps on my skin and pull the door open all the way, keeping an eye on him to see if he tries to stop me. "I'll be right back."
"Go," he growls, and I don't argue. I step outside and pull the door closed behind me, looking up at the evening sun as if there might be some kind of answer in the warm light. There's no answer though, no explanation, no logical reason for why Jared's apparently losing his shit. All I know is that I need to get us out of here. I need to get him help before he drops dead.
I don't know how long I've stayed outside. I should have brought my phone with me, but once I found the little overlook and sat down to look out at the rolling hills of beautiful green trees, my mind just sort of... calmed. It's the first time I've felt any kind of peace since our first night here, and I’ve probably spent too long sitting here, watching the sun descend as I thought through everything going on with Jared.
He's never been this irritable before. Not even when we've been camping and hiking on less sleep, and I'm confident that he's never talked in his sleep before.
And then there was the sex.
It was more than just aggressive, it was… kind of scary. Of course the orgasms had been spectacular, but even hours later I'm still sore. Before this trip I would have never believed Jared could hurt me, that he'd want to hurt me, but with the cool, clean air on my face and the sounds of birds in the trees.... I can't ignore the little voice in the back of my head that whispers 'be careful.' In a million years I would have never believed that I could be afraid of him, but I am. The way he's shouted, the way he covered my mouth when I tried to get him to talk to me — and then he basically forced himself on me.
Kind of.
Fuck, why is this so confusing?
Burying my face in my hands, I try to take deep breaths, to think about things objectively... but that only makes it worse. If one of my friends had described their boyfriend doing what Jared did, I'd be lighting a torch and grabbing a pitchfork. It doesn't matter that I ended up enjoying it, or that he eventually put on a condom. He shouldn't have done that without talking to me about it first. Whether or not he was irritated with me for looking at his family's journals.
Although, it's not like I didn't want to have sex with him. We'd gone all of Friday without having sex at all, and I had planned to try and seduce him this morning when I found him chopping wood like his life depended on it. But that doesn't excuse it. There are no excuses for how he's been acting, and I have to make that clear to him. I have to make sure he understands this isn't going to be a new normal for us.
And if this is related to some kind of sickness, then we'll get him to a doctor tomorrow and everything will be okay. Everything will go back to normal, and I'll have my sweet, funny, amazing boyfriend back again.
Nodding to myself, I stand up and dust off my jeans and my hands. Taking one more look at the way the light skirts around the mountains in the distance, I turn toward the cabin, prepared to make Jared have a serious conversation with me no matter how pissy he is.
Unfortunately, when I walk in the front door, I find him passed out on t
he couch in front of the reinvigorated fire. He's in different clothes, which means he at least listened to me about taking a shower, and I try to take that as a good sign. If he's listening to me again, then maybe I'll have a chance to get all of this shit out in the open when he wakes up.
Grabbing a glass of water, I pick up one of the chairs from the table and carry it over to the TV. Since I'm not supposed to touch the books, and I didn't bring anything to entertain myself with, that means I'll be finishing Poltergeist while Jared takes a nap. I roll my eyes as I grab the remote off the coffee table, remembering how irritated he got when I suggested a nap the day before — but I was right. It's exactly what he needs, and it just proves my point that he's sick. Going for a run when he already wasn't feeling well was stupid even by guy standards.
He's cute when he's sleeping though.
Jared has his arm bent under his head, and his long legs are stretched out as much as they can be on the couch. The slow, even rise and fall of his chest is comforting, because I know he's actually getting some decent rest. The tossing and turning last night probably wasn't very restorative, and even though he was a jerk when I tried to get him a blanket... I still love him. Even when he's being an idiot, or an asshole.
The blanket is still draped over the back of the couch, and I tug it down to lay it over him, and he doesn't even budge. Definitely sleeping hard.
Taking a deep breath, I watch him for another minute or so, and I almost feel as peaceful as I did outside. It feels like things might actually be okay, like we might actually be okay.
And I want that more than anything.
9
Jared
She's going to leave you.
Claim her.
Make her yours before it's too late.
The weird whispers linger in my head as I wake up, talking over each other in a clatter that only makes my headache worse. Just leftovers from the strange dream I was having. Out in the woods, hunting for something that I couldn't find, which isn't possible. In these woods, my woods, I always find what I'm looking for. It's just another weird thing about my family, or at least this property.
Hunted (The Dirty Heroes Collection Book 13) Page 8