She was dying.
Dear God, please help me.
Dear God, please forgive my sins.
Our father who art in heaven hallowed be thy name ….
By the time Victoria found her brother, she was out of her mind with worry. Sebastian raced across the grounds, fearing that Lachlan was telling Gwen about his lie and expected to see her distraught, crying, in shock.
The last thing he would have ever predicted was that her father would be choking Gwen, the sight chilling him to his core.
Sebastian grabbed Lachlan from behind and threw him to the ground as Gwen collapsed onto the lawns. Sebastian knelt beside her, his heart all but stopping at the sight of her lifeless form. Checking her pulse, relief washed over him as Sebastian felt the steady rhythm of her heartbeat under his fingertips.
“Gwen, wake up,” he said, stroking her cheek. “Duchess, come on now, you are frightening me.”
Continuing to stroke her cheek, Sebastian noted that her eyelids were beginning to flutter open. Once fully awake, she began to cough and gasp for air.
He helped her sit upright, resting his hand against the small of her back in a gesture of support. Gwen was shaking, still gasping for air as fear gripped Sebastian, a knot tightening in his own throat. He willed his wife’s lungs to inhale.
Dear God please help her.
“I’m here now.” He rubbed her back in a calming, circular motion. “You’re going to be fine. Easy now, I’m here.”
Sebastian wasn’t certain how much time had passed before her breathing returned to normal. It felt like hours though it was more than likely a few minutes.
“Talk to me Duchess,” he prompted his wife. When she didn’t respond, he prayed aloud. “Please, dear God, talk to me, Gwen.”
She managed to croak, “I’m fine.”
As if suddenly remembering the events that had transpired, her eyes darted in a frantic search for her father. Sebastian also turned his attention to Lachlan, who was still lying on the grass. The man appeared dazed.
“Stay here,” Sebastian instructed his wife before rising. He stalked toward her father then knelt beside him. “You son of a bitch!”
Sebastian grabbed the man’s cravat then tightened the fabric around his neck. “How would you like having the life choked out of you?” he asked as he pressed his fist onto Lachlan’s windpipe.
The old man began to gasp for air, his heels digging into the ground as his body arched.
“I will ensure you never hurt her again!” Sebastian muttered as he squeezed tighter.
Gwen came up behind him, tugging at his shoulders. He didn’t heed her.
“Sebastian, stop.” Her tone was tinged with desperation. “Stop it!”
He couldn’t stop. He hated the man that much.
Lachlan’s eyes revealed his fear, evidence enough that he thought he was going to die.
“Sebastian, please stop!” Gwen’s voice, low and hoarse, penetrated her husband’s haze of rage.
“Do you want to live?” Sebastian asked Lachlan, his fist still pressed against the man’s windpipe.
Unable to speak, Lachlan nodded his head in the affirmative.
“You must never come near her again. If you do, I will finish what I started here today. Do you understand me?”
Lachlan tried to nod again, his fingers tightening around a handful of grass.
Sebastian loosened his grip. “Say you understand!”
Lachlan gasped for air.
Sebastian pulled him by the cravat closer to his face. “You will never come near Gwen or my sister. You will stay far away from my family. Tell me you understand.”
“I-I un-derstand” Lachlan croaked. For the first time since arriving in England, the man truly looked pale.
Sebastian’s hand stilled, allowing Lachlan to inhale jagged breaths as Winston approached the scene. “Your Grace. Your sister sent me—”
The stoic butler stopped then adjusted his shirt collar.
“Sebastian,” Gwen clutched his shoulders, her whisper still hoarse, “let go of him.”
He shoved his father-in-law back to the ground, pressing him violently against the grass as he added, “I meant what I said. If you ever come near my family again I will kill you.”
Sebastian then released the old man, rising from his kneeling position until he towered over his father-in-law. “Winston, remove him from my property at once.”
“Y-yes sir.” With this, the butler helped Lachlan up. The latter pushed him away.
“I can walk by myself.” Lachlan gave one parting glance to his son-in-law, who glared at him while a muscle in his jaw twitched with rage.
Sebastian then turned toward his wife. Her eyes were filled with contempt as she watched her father walk out of her life.
“Gwen,” he closed the gap between them then reached for her arms, “are you all right?”
She nodded.
Her husband surveyed her, groaning at the sight of what she supposed was a large welt on her cheek and several red marks around her neck before pulling her into a tight embrace. “I am sorry he hurt you.”
Gwen leaned into him and rested her ear against his chest, seeking comfort from the customary tha-thump of his strong heartbeat. She longed for him to chase away all of the demons her father conjured up but her mind wouldn’t allow it. It kept replaying her father’s hateful words and disgusting admissions.
One truth saddened her unlike any other. If her father had been honest about the reason he allowed her to wed Sebastian, then her marriage was based on a terrible lie.
As was her entire existence.
For the first time, Gwen felt the full weight of the day’s wretchedness. Was anything she held dear based on truth?
Sebastian’s grip loosened around her shoulders. He then tipped her head toward him. “What did he say to you?”
“My father knows I wasn’t with child when he agreed for us to wed.” Her voice was no louder than a faint whisper.
The haunted expression in Sebastian’s eyes confirmed that her father’s accusations were factual. Her knees felt like they would give way any second now.
“Is that why he tried to kill you?” he asked, his tone disclosing his guilt.
She remained stiff in his arms. “I was being spiteful and pushed him too far.”
“I was going to tell you the truth.” His voice was ragged with concern as he again placed his arms around her and kissed her forehead. “Gwen, please believe me.”
She pulled away from him. “I can’t discuss this now. This is too much. It’s all just too much right now.”
Gwen turned, walking toward the main house as she glanced up at the thick gray clouds swirling in the ominous sky above her. It started out as such a nice day.
Her vision blurred.
Sebastian studied his wife. When she swayed, the motion ever so slight, he sprinted toward her arriving in time to catch her before she hit the ground for a second time that day. He then carried Gwen’s weightless form to the main house and up to her suite, all the while praying to God that her spiteful father hadn’t done Gwen permanent harm. Sebastian also cursed himself for not admitting the truth to his wife before Lachlan had the opportunity to do so.
Damn that man.
Lachlan MacAlistair deserved nothing less than to rot in hell.
Sebastian issued an order to have his butler call for Dr. Danbury. He then took great care as he placed his wife in her bed and covered her with the ice blue duvet. He stayed by her side until Dr. Danbury arrived and examined her.
The good doctor assured him that his wife would make a complete recovery; however, he thought it best that she awaken in her own time.
Dr. Danbury exited after promising to check on his patient the next day, then closed the door behind him. Sebastian reclined beside his duchess, watching the gentle rise and fall with her every breath.
He thanked God that Gwen was still breathing.
Time passed in an eerie silence. As the hour grew l
ate, cool moonlight illuminated the room through the bank of windows at the far end of the wall, the previous cloud cover having dissipated.
Sebastian made a deliberate decision against lighting any of the wall sconces, instead preferring the semi-darkness. He couldn’t tolerate the light. It was easier preparing to face his demons in the dark.
Dear God, why didn’t I tell her when I had the chance?
Sadness filled his heart as he traced Gwen’s lips with his finger, wondering when his wife would ever again let him touch her.
Sebastian should have told her the truth. God knows he’d come close to admitting it many times, yet he always postponed the inevitable. Now, it was too late to confess his sins. Her poor excuse of a father beat him to it.
Fear gripped his chest and Sebastian found it difficult to catch his breath.
What if she doesn’t forgive me?
He studied her, noting that her long, fanned eyelashes had begun to flutter.
Lying on her back, Gwen awoke as confusion clouded her vision. How did she get to her suite? She squinted in the semi-darkness then turned on her side to discover her husband lying on his side next to her, meeting her gaze.
His stare was different than she’d ever seen. For the first time since she’d known him, fear shone in his indigo eyes. It unnerved her so much that she didn’t move at first, oblivious to the fact that his fingers had stilled on her jaw line.
“What time is it?” she asked in a raspy voice.
“I lost track of time.” Sebastian’s voice was rough. “Dr. Danbury said we should let you sleep.”
She blinked back the hot tears that stung the backs of her eyes. “Why didn’t you tell me the truth?”
“Please believe me, I wanted to and I planned to.” He opened his mouth to continue but instead remained silent, as if he decided better of it.
Gwen sensed that he didn’t know what else to say. Perhaps his explanation sounded as weak to his own ears as it did to hers?
Gwen’s voice quivered, “I want to believe you, but how can I now?”
“I’ll help you.” His anguish was evident as he kissed her forehead. “My love for you hasn’t changed.”
“So much has changed.” Gwen pulled away, pushing the satin coverlet aside as she rose. She then walked to the window.
Nothing was the same as it had been this morning. Her entire life, entire family, was one fabrication after another.
Sebastian followed her, still trying to convince her. “Gwen, I never meant to hurt you.”
She stared out at the moonlit grounds, her head spinning.
“I did what was best for you,” Sebastian added.
He sounded so convinced by his last statement that it made her want to retch. So many people claimed to want what was best for her … her father, her brother, and now her husband.
Realization hit her like an icy winter wind. “Tristan knew about your deception, didn’t he?”
Sebastian remained silent. It was all the confirmation she needed.
Gwen squeezed her eyes shut. Every one she trusted, every man she loved had lied to her in one way or another.
“Look at me,” Sebastian beseeched her.
When she at last complied, her expression was as menacing as her tone. “You should have told me.”
“I wanted to. I couldn’t—”
“Why?” She longed to understand his reasoning. “Didn’t you have enough faith in my love for you? I chose you, for God’s sake. I chose you over my father, over the man he intended me to marry. I chose you.”
“I know.” His brow furrowed. With guilt and shame she supposed.
“You debased our love.” Gwen’s anger now overpowered her broken heart. “You tainted our marriage with deceit and allowed my father to ambush me. Do you have any idea how much pleasure he derived from telling me the truth? God, my father reveled in my stupidity and naïveté while I defended you.”
“I thought I had your best interests at heart,” Sebastian’s usually strong baritone shook with emotion.
She began to walk away then turned on her heel to face him. “You think your actions were for the best? Well, so does he. That makes you no better than Lachlan.”
Gwen refused to refer to the man as “Papa” or “Father.” The monster deserved no such respect. Besides, her father was officially dead to her.
Sebastian spoke as if he were appeasing an angry child, “As I explained, I planned on telling you.”
“I no longer believe you,” Gwen lashed out.
He cringed at her icy tone. All he wanted was to explain his motives to her, make her believe that he never meant to hurt her.
Narrowing the gap that separated them, Sebastian reached for her. Gwen recoiled from his touch. “Don’t!” She glared at him, her tears now replaced by venom dripping from that one command.
He was taken aback by the sight of her beautiful features distorted by a mask of such anger.
“Both you and that monster who sired me justify your manipulations by saying they were for the best.” Though tears welled in her eyes, Gwen was quick to wipe them away with the back of her hand. “You are wrong! It was best to trust me with the truth instead of treating me like some immature child.”
Sebastian recognized too late that he shouldn’t have pushed things. He had wanted to comfort her with his body and make everything up to her. Instead, he had pushed her even farther away from him.
Her unwavering glare made him feel as if she were examining his very soul and it unnerved him. Averting his gaze, he instead studied her satin bedspread and smoothed a crease with his palm. “I swear to you that I’m telling the truth.”
“Truth,” Gwen mocked. “Do you even know what that is?”
“Gwen—” He turned toward her but she silenced him by raising her palm to him.
“Not one more word, Sebastian!”
Sebastian winced at her tone. She’d never said his name in such a cold, uncaring manner. It sounded almost mangled now.
She despised him, Sebastian realized as he raked his hands through his hair, his mind racing to find the words to explain. All he could muster was, “It’s not what you think.”
“It’s not?” She shrugged her shoulders. “I think that you lied to my father and told him I was a whore carrying your child, knowing that it would force him into accepting our marriage. The Duke of Davenport always gets what he wants, right? Everyone else be damned?”
Taken aback by her crass choice of words, Sebastian immediately became incensed by her accusations. “I married you!” His tone was harsh, more so than he intended. “For God’s sake, I didn’t ruin your reputation. I made you my wife. I gave you wealth and a title.”
“I believed in you.” Gwen pointed to her chest. “I defended you against his accusations – even when my own father called me a whore. You made a fool of me.”
He remained silent, his pulse slamming against his temples with a violent force.
“I was foolish, wasn’t I?” she asked, although Sebastian knew her question to be rhetorical. “On that my father was again correct. I was stupid to have believed in you, to have expected more from you.”
She turned her back to him. It was akin to her slapping him in the face. Stung, Sebastian grabbed her arm, whirling her around to face him. “Did it ever occur to you that your expectations were too high?”
Scoffing, Gwen attempted to pull away but Sebastian wouldn’t release her. “I am human, Gwen. No man could have lived up to your idea of perfection.”
“Don’t blame me for your actions.” She jerked her arm from his.
“It’s true,” he asserted. “It was a long, hard fall from that pedestal you placed me on.”
She shook her head as if to clear it. “I see. The fault lies with me because I believed in you?”
His voice raised an octave. “I never claimed to be noble or chivalrous. That was your fantasy. I’m flesh and bones, just like you. No better, maybe worse.”
“Maybe worse?” Her lips
twisted into a sardonic smile. “You lied to me and made me look like a common tramp to my father.”
“Don’t you think you’re being too hard on me?” he asked. After all, he did save her from an unwanted marriage to a disgusting man. Did that not garner him a little forgiveness?
She stood with her hands on her hips, her eyes flashing with anger. “Why? Because I believed you capable of rising above my father and Keir?”
“Yes, because of all of it.”
“Was winning this battle of wills with my father worth it to you?” she asked, her hands remaining on her hips.
He remained silent as a vein pulsated in his neck, his rage heightening.
“Answer me,” Gwen demanded, bridging the gap between them in two swift strides. “Was trouncing Keir worth my contempt?”
Contempt? Had he heard her correctly? The expression on his wife’s face confirmed that Sebastian had indeed understood her meaning.
Sebastian’s voice erupted, “Ah, Keir. Is that who this is about? Perhaps you enjoyed his leering at your cleavage? Did you want more?”
Without warning, Gwen slapped him across his face. Her hand made such a forceful impact with his jaw that it caused his ears ring.
“Get out and stay out,” she ordered, pointing toward the open door that connected her suite with his.
He wanted to grab his wife and shake some sense into her. Instead he chose to stand still and flog himself in silence. Damn him, he shouldn’t have lost his temper. Gwen had suffered a great shock. She should have been allowed some time to process all she had learned. Instead, Sebastian realized with disgust, he allowed his anger to boil to the surface making everything worse.
Rubbing his sore jaw, he inhaled a deep, cleansing breath before trusting himself to speak. “I am sorry.” His voice was calm, much more so than he felt. “We’ll discuss things tomorrow, after we’ve both had a chance to compose ourselves.”
Gwen didn’t answer him. Instead she stormed to the doorway that connected their bedchambers. Glowering at him, she held onto the gilded knob with one hand, pointing to his exit with the other.
Sebastian walked through the doorway and turned toward his wife just in time to see the wooden door slam in his face.
Dance with Deception: Scandalous Secrets, Book 1 - Exclusive Edition (Scandalous Secrets - Exclusive Edition) Page 20
