“I’ll deal with it” is all I could say and turned away from him and walked away. He didn’t follow me, or call out to me anymore. I wish he had, or maybe it was good that he didn’t. Either way, I could feel a part of me dying with my retreating footsteps out of the department building. Till the moment that I didn’t know who he was, till the moment that I hadn’t seen him again, there was no hope and that was in some strange way-satisfying. Now that he was in my life, everyday, the absence of hope yet having him so close to me, made it harder. I couldn’t control my feelings or my sadness anymore. Marvin was the man I had spent a night of passion with in a foreign land. He was the one I wanted. Yet, it would be impossible.
I walked towards the library. John had clearly decided to be polite to a guest in the college and had chosen a handsome young charmer over myself. So now I was alone again. Well, at least if nothing else, I had graduation to look forward to. After that I had plans of working on my dissertation proposal and then another five to six years working on my PHD thesis and research. For some reason, this very prospect that made my heart race six months ago, depressed me now. I had tasted what romance felt like, I had tasted what it felt to laugh and run in the rain with somebody, I knew now what it meant to be cradled and hugged to sleep. I didn’t know anymore how to settle for anything less.
*****
It had been a week since I had last spoken to Marvin, or John. I was sitting on the steps of the library, sipping an Oreo milkshake through a straw. It had started to get dark and I was watching the setting sun in the horizon, past the tall tress which shaded this part of the campus.
“I hope I’m not interrupting” I heard Marvin’s voice behind me. I turned my head around and craned my neck up to look at him. He was smiling again and it filled my heart with instant delight.
“Just watching the sun set” I said and looked away from him. I could sense him move and he sat down beside me, at least a foot away.
“It is gorgeous” he said and I turned to look at his profile. The fading light lit up his silhouette as he looked away towards the distance. He now had a bit of blonde stubble around his jaw, and he looked much older.
“Look. I’m sorry if I’ve made you feel uncomfortable” he said after neither of us had spoken for a few minutes.
“You don’t have to keep apologizing. It isn’t your fault. I’ve just been very stupid” I said and took another sip of my milkshake. He had turned to look at me and I caught his eyes, unwavering and strong. I don’t know where I had suddenly developed the strength to stare into his eyes and not worry about blushing.
“If you say so. But I don’t know why you think you were stupid. I thought we had a great time together”, he said and I watched as his red lips moved. I was drowning in his bright blue eyes and I didn’t care anymore.
“I don’t know either why I feel that way. I guess I just wanted an adventure and not have to worry about it. You know? Just get on with my life” I said and tore away from his gaze finally.
“Well, you still can. It’s not like I’ll stalk you forever” he said and I didn’t reply. I knew he was right but I didn’t know why I still felt like it had been a mistake. He had been nothing but charming and kind to me from the moment we had met.
“Is it because you’re feeling things that you didn’t expect a one-night-stand to make you feel?” he asked softly. His words came out in dribbles, shaking my world as I remained silent and chose to hang my head low. I concentrated on my leather boots instead.
“Because that is how I feel” Marvin said and I jerked my head up to look at him. I didn’t expect him to confess his feelings. I didn’t even know he had feelings!
“Yes” I said finally and blushed a bright red. Marvin smiled but looked away nonetheless.
“I knew we had a connection. I knew you were going to be more than just an adventurous drunken fling” I heard him say slowly.
“But I don’t want to feel this way” I said pleadingly. I was embarrassed by my own voice and my heart stopped beating when he moved himself closer to me. Our thighs were grazing now and he crept his hand over to mine, the one that was lying on my side. He engulfed my hand in his own big palms and I shut my eyes tight and looked away from him.
“It won’t be a disaster if you don't treat it like one” he said after a few minutes. Our hands were locked together, and I cold smell his cologne and my senses were reeling.
“You’re going to be gone in six months. This time you will actually be gone” I said, I could feel tears pricking my eyelids and I felt stupid. I couldn’t believe that the situation was making me cry. My hands were in his and all it did was break my heart.
“It doesn’t mean that it has to end what we can possibly build in six months. That is a lot of time” he said. He had leaned in closer to my ear and I could feel his breath on my cheek. I was so close to kissing him, but I was more interested in the words that were coming out of his mouth.
“What do you mean? How is it going to work if we are in two different continents Marvin?” I asked him, meeting his eyes daringly even though I could feel the pool of water around my eyes.
“We aren’t captives. We can decide what we want to do and where we want to do it. Nobody and nothing is holding me back in England for starters” he said hurriedly. I could see him trying to convince me with his words. In that moment all I wanted to do was throw my arms around his neck and bury my face in his chest.
“I like the sound of that” I finally managed to give him a smile and he smiled widely back at me.
“Good” he said and he didn’t ask permission, he just leaned in and bit my lower lip. Just when he was pulling away I grasped his neck with my hand and pulled him to me again, kissing him with a new found passion and hope. Marvin turned his body to face mine and pressed up closer to me. Even though we had layers of clothing between us I could feel the growing heat emanating from his body.
He broke away from me suddenly and laughed, just as he had done that first night at the end of the Tower Bridge. “You really know how to surprise me Amber” he said through his laughs and I couldn’t help but join him in laughter.
“I could say the same about you Marvin” I said when I managed to stop.
“Marvin. That name sounds good in your mouth” he said just before pulling me to him again and kissing my throat.
****
THE END
SPORTS Romance - Hotter Than Ice
Kara sat by the window, looking out at the rain covering the campus lawn. It was relaxing for her. A small group of girls chatted while standing under umbrellas after class. They smiled and laughed, and Kara wondered if they would have laughed at her jokes as well.
“Is this right, Kara,” asked the student that sat next to her.
She snapped from her trance and turned to look at her mentee. With a quick exhale, she focused her attention on George’s work; running her hand over the page to sort out the details.
“It looks right, but you did the math wrong, here, let me show you,” she said while making corrections.
With a slow and melodic tone, she explained what he had done wrong. At first, he was a bit lost, but the realization of his wrongdoing came to him, and he buried his face in his hand out of embarrassment.
George was a decent student, but he made silly mistakes that were taxing to correct at times. He still always tried his hardest, but he was behind in his studies by a large margin.
The hour came to an end quickly enough, and she was thankful to be done with the session. Not that studying, or teaching, was really that hard for her. Kara had a natural talent for explaining things in ways others were able to understand.
“Same time next week, George,” she said to the student as he tucked his things into his backpack.
George stood up, straightening out his ruffled sweater before throwing his bag over his shoulder.
“I’m having a party, tonight. You’re welcome to come if you want,” he said.
“Oh, that’s alright. I’
m busy anyway,” she lied.
“I’ll e-mail you the details anyway, in case you change your mind,” he added before taking his leave.
She nodded.
It’s not as though she had time anyway, she was busy the rest of the day with other students requiring her tutelage. Kara knew she wasn’t like the girls outside, standing in the rain, talking about nothing. There was an invisible line between them and her that she wished she could cross, but found herself unable. So, she reconciled herself to being what she had been since grade school, an outsider.
Kara fixed her gaze back to the courtyard, watching the students sprint across in a vain attempt to stay dry. She took a small amount of pleasure from being dry and watching other students get soaked to the bone.
Then she saw him trotting nonchalantly through the rain. Henry didn’t seem to mind getting wet in the rain. Even now, he played innocently with a handball to pass the time, throwing it against walls and catching it as he walked past.
He was alone this time. Usually, he was crowded with other hockey players; all of them boasting about one thing or another.
She knew the feeling of solitude, and she could tell that he felt that right now. He was making his way inside the library, and Kara ducked down in her seat a little more.
Her next student wouldn’t be here for another twenty minutes, so she’d have to do her best to look busy to avoid him again.
His jacket was soaked through, as were most the rest of his clothes. Henry threw off the jacket, figuring it useless now, and shook the rain from his hair.
Kara watched; he was actually quite attractive. He had a certain grace in the way he held his skinny but strong stature. His clothes were all just a little bit larger than they needed to be, so the rain caused them to sag in unflattering ways. His hair was wild and unkempt, and just a little too long. Still, it framed his face up nicely the way it matted itself to his head.
Henry scanned the room with his intense eyes; despite Kara’s best efforts, he still managed to see her. As though he planned it all along, he stalked up the stairway of the library, straight for Kara.
She put a few things inside her bag, in an attempt to flee before he arrived, but it was to no avail.
“Hello again, Kara,” he said with a smile on his lips.
“Hi, Henry,” she replied, slumping back into her chair with a sigh.
“So, are you going to come to the party tonight,” he asked, taking a seat across from her at the table.
“You know, I have more students coming, you should go,” Kara replied.
“You didn’t answer my question,” he said.
She let out a drawn out sigh.
“I’m not that interested. I have too much to do tonight, anyway,” she replied.
“Why do you always do that,” he asked.
“Do what?”
“You always look for an excuse to stay in your bubble.”
“What bubble? I’m just staying with people I understand. I don’t understand you and your hockey player friends,” she said.
Henry leaned back in his chair. Kara really didn’t want to say no. She actually was interested in going to the party and seeing if anyone else she knew had decided to take the time out to have fun. She was even interested in spending time with Henry, but the people he liked to spend time with always seemed too popular. Popularity and intelligence just don’t mix.
“Why don’t you just go with Victoria, I’ve heard she likes you,” Kara said.
“Ah, Victoria. She’s about as interesting as a brick and about as smart as one,” he said, tossing the handball and catching it.
“Wow, you’re nice to people that like you. I’d hate to see what you’re like to people that hate you,” Kara said sarcastically.
“If you keep turning me down, you just might find out,” he replied.
“If I accept your offer then I’ll be in the same boat as Victoria; I know how many notches you have on your belt,” Kara quipped.
“There’s only one notch that I’m really interested in, but she just doesn’t seem that interested,” he said with a wink.
“She’d be interested if you were a little less full of yourself,” Kara replied.
“And he’d be a little less full of himself if she’d stop living inside of a shell,” he added.
Kara slammed the last of her books closed and started stuffing them into her bag. She wasn’t interested in sticking around and listening to his drivel. It wasn’t the first time they’d had a heated discussion and probably wouldn’t be the last.
“Great, just run away like you always do,” he said.
“I’m leaving because you won’t.”
“Hey, Henry! How’s the date going,” said one of his teammates, jokingly, from the bottom of the stairs.
“Going great, we get married next week,” he shouted with a grin.
Kara rolled her eyes and stood up to leave. Henry stood and shot out in front of her, blocking her path.
“Kara, please. Come to the party tonight. If you come tonight, then I won’t bother you ever again. I promise you’ll have fun,” he said.
She relaxed her shoulders and threw her head back, taking a deep breath.
“You promise, for sure you promise,” she asked.
“Sure, if it’ll get you to go,” he replied.
Kara had wanted to say yes the first time he asked her out. But, his reputation had always preceded him. He’d date unscrupulously and drank like a sailor. Then there were his supposed habits with money.
“Fine,” she said, “but it isn’t a date.”
“You finally said yes! This is the happiest day of my life,” he sarcastically boasted, “I wonder what gown I’ll wear to the ball.”
He danced his way off, down the stairs, until he joined up with his friend. As his final act before leaving, he blew a kiss to Kara.
She regretted having said yes; perhaps she would turn her phone off and pretend to be asleep, instead.
2.
It must have been passed ten when her phone started dancing its way across her nightstand. Her comforter was just the right temperature, and she deigned the idea of moving. Still, she rolled herself to her side and palmed her phone. With a click on the device, she answered.
“What,” Kara mouthed.
“You haven’t shown, I thought you promised,” returned the voice of Henry.
“No, I promised nothing. You just promised you’d leave me alone if I went,” she replied.
“I see you don’t want me to stop bothering you. You’re quite a schemer,” said the smug voice of Henry again.
Kara let out a drawn out sigh.
“How did you even get my number,” she asked.
“I’ll tell you when you get here,” he replied, clicking off the receiver.
Kara was hopelessly stuck. She wanted to stay home and be comfortable. It would be an early day tomorrow, so at least, she had an excuse to leave early.
Having been almost laundry day, Kara was lacking in interesting things to wear, so she just pulled on whatever was lying around and left.
The party was, thankfully, nearby. Kara pulled her jacket a little tighter as she walked the empty sidewalks to the house just down the street. While she walked, she wondered. Why wouldn’t Henry just leave her alone after she said no the first hundred times?
The lights from the party spilled to the roadside, making the shadows of the guests dance in odd ways. Music was playing tastefully loud inside, and the conversation echoed out into the night.
Kara walked up, hoping to see Henry right away. She just wanted to make her appearance and leave, nothing more. But, Henry wasn’t out front, nor was he inside the house.
In the backyard an awful din rose, drowning out the rest of the guests. Kara decided to investigate and had a keen feeling that Henry would be somewhere in the middle. She wasn’t wrong.
A makeshift court was erected, made of garbage cans and traffic cones. Some of the hockey players were skating around o
n rollerblades, chasing after a handball that was serving as a puck. Henry seemed to be relishing in the excitement, taking shots backwards between his legs.
He even played one handed for a while as he drank from a red plastic cup, what Kara assumed was alcohol. Of course, she thought, he would be the one drinking while playing a sport with this much activity.
Henry caught her eye as he sailed past, and in so doing, lost his footing falling flat on his back; spilling beer all over himself. Kara couldn’t help herself and laughed along with the rest of the crowd.
The game ended with that, not many of the other players showed an interest past having a good laugh at Henry. It was probably for the best.
“You finally showed, I see,” said Henry while he dabbed as much alcohol off his shirt as he could.
“I had to, remember,” Kara replied, dismally.
Henry stripped off his sullied shirt and began to strut toward the house. He must have been freezing because Kara was freezing while wearing her winter coat. She could make out his breath smoking in the air as he walked; he didn’t really seem to care.
Henry’s toned abs glistened with cold sweat. Kara followed him inside since he was the only person she knew that was present.
Henry was passed a new glass of beer by George, who was standing by a keg indoors; he flashed Kara a knowing smile and handed her one as well, which she took and examined.
“When you’re popular, it’s easy to find a beer,” started Henry.
Romance: Young Adult Romance: The Perfect Game (A Highschool Football Romance) (Bad Boy Nerd New Adult Romance) Page 58
