‘It doesn’t make sense,’ Aleisha echoed on autopilot, replaying the conversations she’d had the day of Aidan’s funeral. Shutting her brain off from the emotion for as long as she could.
They walked in silence again, until Aleisha felt her heart start to race. This kept happening recently. She knew in a moment she’d feel breathless. ‘You take these,’ she said, handing Rachel a wad of flyers, ‘and post them on this side. I’ll go to the other side of the street and post them there. Any house, unless it really doesn’t look lived in.’
Rachel shrugged, and Aleisha crossed the road, relieved, taking deep breaths. She slowed down, feeling as though she might collapse at any moment.
In one house she could hear a dog barking, and she reversed as quickly as she could, nearly tripping over the fence. Her breathing quickened again, and she looked over the road. Rachel was posting some flyers and hadn’t even noticed her cousin drowning in the searing, summer air.
She took a deep breath. She didn’t know what to do. She thought of Leilah, hiding away, keeping the truth from everyone. She was scared, she didn’t want to reveal too much of herself. But she knew she needed help, Aidan had needed help, they all did. And Rachel, Rachel had been her best friend, once. And she missed her. She wanted her back. She crossed back over the road, her heartbeat slower now, the sweat on her brow evaporating almost immediately in the heat, and she linked arms with her cousin.
Rachel looked at her and tapped her hand gently. ‘I’m here,’ she said, as though she had heard every one of Aleisha’s thoughts from the other side of the road.
‘Aleisha,’ Rachel said, when they got in. The house was murmuring with quiet activity; Leilah was back in bed, Jeremy was washing up. ‘That Instagram post you did earlier, you should share it with Aidan’s friends. Let them know about it.’
‘I don’t think I can.’ Aleisha shrugged in response.
‘Let me, yeah?’ Rachel put her hand out and Aleisha handed over her phone, feeling a well of relief. ‘Last chance to get people excited.’
‘It’s too late,’ Aleisha muttered, slumping down on the sofa.
Within moments, though, Rachel pointed to Aleisha’s phone. Her feed was littered with people sharing the Library GetTogether post.
‘See, Aleisha, I told you,’ Rachel said with a grin. Aleisha could just fixate on her phone, flashing in front of her, a new notification every few seconds. ‘People actually care, Leish. They care.’
This was what her brother could do – bring people together, as he had always brought people together in his lifetime. To help them feel a little bit less alone.
Chapter 39
MUKESH
BEEP. ‘HI DAD, IT’S Deepali. We’re leaving soon – I’ll see you at the library, okay! Jaya and Jayesh are coming with me. I’m bringing the punch.’
BEEP. ‘Hi Papa, Priya is so excited about today! I’ll drop her off with you first, as I will then go pick up the pressure cooker from Nilakshimasi’s, for final preparations, okay? Priya has made some extra fairy cakes – so I’ll bring them too, okay?’
BEEP. ‘Hi Papa, need me to bring any extra food or drinks and stuff? I can bring chairs too if that’s useful for you guys. Let me know! Well done – I keep thinking Mum would be so proud of you, you know? She was always banging on about setting up an open morning at the library.’
On the day of the Big Library Get-Together itself, Mukesh was amazed that there wasn’t some kind of fanfare when he woke up. His daughters had packed up all the samosas, spring rolls and vada of all types the previous evening, ready to go.
‘Don’t dip into any of this! Especially the vada, we only have a few, and I made them extra hot so you will regret it!’ Deepali said to her father that night, as he approached the tray laid out on his kitchen table.
‘You expect me to take them and not to eat them?’
‘Yes, precisely that.’
As soon as Deepali had gone, he just had to have one. Lo and behold, Deepali had been right, it had burnt even his lips and he knew that was never a good sign for the rest of the vada’s journey. He chased it down with a glass of milk and several spoonfuls of yoghurt.
He was looking forward to seeing who might come today – new faces, old faces, friendly faces. And he hoped Aleisha’s mum would come today too, but it was unlikely. Leilah was struggling. He couldn’t imagine how he would feel, God forbid, if one of his daughters or grandchildren died. He couldn’t imagine waking up, leaving the bed, the house, ever again. The world would be so much darker without them.
He had ordered a new junior library card and pre-emptively taken out Life of Pi, Beloved and Pride and Prejudice to give to Priya before the event. Now he just had to wait for her to arrive.
Mukesh tried in vain to read while he waited – but in the excitement, he found he couldn’t pick up a new book. Instead, he read the first few pages of The Time Traveler’s Wife once more – and the words instantly transported him to Naina. He remembered the time he’d first read it. How heartbroken he had been. But how different he felt now – how alive. And Naina, she was here, in these words, in this love story. She was here in his heart, with him every step of the way.
When the doorbell rang, pulling him from the story, Mukesh jumped up too quickly, his head feeling light. For the briefest moment, he had a feeling that Naina was at the door.
‘Dada!’ Priya called, stepping into the house. ‘Have you eaten a vada?’
Rohini, a few steps behind her, stormed through to the kitchen, zipping around the room, checking in every corner, every fridge compartment, for any snacks that had been forgotten. ‘Papa, did you?’
‘No!’
‘Yes you did,’ Priya giggled. ‘Deepalimasi said there were twenty-one, and now I count only twenty!’ Priya stood over the tray of vadas, her finger raised accusingly.
Mukesh went pink.
‘Right, let me take that.’ Rohini grabbed the tray. ‘I’m going to Nilakshimasi’s now. Will you two be okay getting to the library on your own? How will you go?’
‘I think we’ll walk,’ Mukesh said firmly. Rohini nodded, formally, and trotted out of the door. A woman on a mission.
‘So, Priya,’ Mukesh said. ‘I’ve got a surprise!’
‘A surprise?’ Priya said, a little cautiously.
‘Yes,’ Mukesh pulled his canvas bag from the banister, and took out a little card and three books. He plonked them all in Priya’s hands.
The library card said Priya Langton, in Aleisha’s chubbiest handwriting.
‘Mine?’ Priya said, looking down at it. ‘For the library that Aleisha works at?’ She looked up at her dada, hopeful.
‘Yes, Aleisha wrote your name on it specially!’
‘The books, are they all for me to read?’ Priya laid them all out side by side on the stairs.
‘If you’d like to. Beloved is maybe one for your mummy to read instead, but I wanted to give it to you so you know that it’s a good one. Although it’s a little bit scary.’
‘I’ve read The Woman in Black, that was scary,’ Priya said proudly.
‘I don’t know that one.’
‘Ba told me she read it once; she said she jumped out of her skin.’ Priya brought her hand to her mouth to suppress a giggle, but Mukesh saw her eyes glisten with a soft sheet of tears.
‘Oh, beti,’ he said, embracing her. ‘Your ba would so love to see the wonderful young lady you are, Priya. You make her very proud.’ Mukesh’s words trembled. ‘You make me very proud too.’
They stayed in a hug for a moment, Mukesh resting his head on Priya’s. The whole house, which had felt silent for so long, suddenly felt like home again.
‘Dada,’ Priya eventually said. ‘Shall we get to the library?’
Mukesh looked at his watch, twenty past ten. ‘Oh Bhagwan!’ he said. ‘Yes we should! I’m meant to help set up!’
By the time they arrived at the library, twenty minutes before the start, Aleisha was already there with someone who looked very much like
her.
‘Hello, Aleisha! Do you remember me? I’m Priya,’ she said, skipping up to her. There was no sign of nerves today.
‘Of course, Priya,’ Aleisha smiled, a sadness behind her eyes. ‘How are you?’
‘Thank you for my library card,’ Priya rattled on, holding the card up to her. ‘I really like your handwriting.’
‘You’re very welcome. You can keep your grandad company on some of his library trips, can’t you?’
Priya nodded vigorously.
‘Hi Mr P,’ Aleisha said, welcoming him over. He’d been standing a few feet away to allow Priya to have her moment. ‘This is my cousin Rachel,’ Aleisha said to Mukesh, who smiled and shook the young woman’s hand.
‘Yes, we met the other day,’ he said, noticing his accent getting heavier as he became increasingly nervous.
Two cars drew up outside, carrying Rohini, Deepali, Nilakshi and Vritti. As soon as they’d parked up, trays of food emerged from every door, and they carried them straight to the tables laid out specially.
‘Why are the chairs like this?’ Mukesh asked Aleisha. Kyle chipped in to answer instead. ‘You see, sir, it’s actually more conducive to chatting, in clusters like this. Tables for people to eat outside, then people can browse the library inside – enjoy the peace for a bit! And we wanted this to be an open day for people to get to know each other.’
‘Actually, Mr P wanted this to be an open day.’ Aleisha winked at Mukesh, and Priya giggled exaggeratedly, holding Mukesh’s hand.
Gradually, people trickled over to them. Some of the regulars, carrying dishes of food, with friends and family, and some people who had clearly never been here before at all. There weren’t hundreds of people, as Mukesh had been imagining, but there were at least thirty or forty. They had to bring out many more tables to accommodate the food. There were samosas of every kind, jerk chicken, chips with chilli sprinkled on top, mogo too, sausages wrapped in bacon, vegetarian sausages with rosemary that would later become Mukesh’s new favourite, fairy cakes made by Priya, and quiche with something questionable inside it. Was it meat or was it plastic? Cheese squares with cocktail sticks impaling them, and chutneys of all kinds. It was a feast.
At one point, the noise of chatter and laughter was unbearable, so Mukesh carried himself off inside for a while to settle into a chair. He looked around the library, seeing it as all the people outside might be seeing it. Stacks and stacks of books on shiny shelves that might once have been white, but were now yellowing, and chairs – some new and comfy, others not so much. He felt a calm wash over him. He was already looking forward to coming in again and relaxing in his favourite chair to read a new book when this day was over. He hoped that many of the people who came today for the first time would get to enjoy it too. And there, nestled among the bookshelves, comfy in her beanbag, sat Priya. She caught him looking, and beamed at him. He would never have imagined, just a few weeks ago, that this might have happened. He knew so much had changed, for better, and for worse … but this was one of the good moments, one of the loveliest moments.
Mukesh was nibbling on veggie sausages when he spotted Rohini with a paper plate in one hand and a mug full to the brim in the other.
‘I brought you some more sausages!’ she said loudly, over the din. ‘And some chai, homemade by Indiramasi!’
‘Indira is here?’
‘Mhmm, apparently she’s a regular – has been for a while now. I can’t believe you never mentioned she came here. She’s very chatty today,’ Rohini said.
‘Indira, chatty? That’s news to me! But in that case, I’ll stay in here a little longer …’ Mukesh laughed. ‘You know,’ he whispered, ‘the last time we spoke, it took me two hours to get away.’
Rohini laughed. ‘Papa!’ she admonished. ‘Just be kind to her, she is lonely. Isn’t that what this whole day is about? Mummy really liked Indiramasi, she always looked out for her.’
Mukesh looked at his vegetarian sausage, twirling on its cocktail stick. ‘You’re right.’ Rohini tapped him lightly but firmly on the leg, and Mukesh apologized.
‘Anyway, Papa, I wanted to say sorry. I haven’t treated you well. Always making decisions for you. But look around, you’re doing brilliantly.’ She nodded her head over to Priya. ‘And Priya has said how much she’s enjoyed spending time with you this summer.’
Mukesh didn’t know what to say. ‘And everything you’ve done for Aleisha, you’ve been a lovely friend.’
Mukesh couldn’t look at his daughter, he flushed with embarrassment. ‘I guess your mummy managed to instil something useful in me in the end.’
‘I worried that you needed someone to take care of you after Mummy died, but I didn’t give you the credit that you could take care of yourself, and when I tried to look after you, I forgot how to keep you company. I’m sorry.’
Mukesh smiled gently and squeezed his daughter’s hand.
‘I’m going to nip out and help Deepali escape Indira, but I hope we can see each other, spend actual time together, more often. Mummy would want that. I know that now.’
Before Mukesh could say anything in response, Rohini had gone. There was nothing but a croak brewing in his throat – he tried to swallow the lump away before he had to speak to someone else.
He looked out of the window at the crowd of people, holding paper plates, stuffing food in their mouths and chatting. He was so pleased to see the people from the temple weren’t just talking to others from the temple, they were talking to anyone and everyone. The people he assumed Aleisha had invited – her friends, Aidan’s friends – were even mingling with the oldies, and Mukesh’s heart sang.
Then another car pulled up and out hopped Zac.
He smiled. Aleisha would be pleased.
And then Mukesh spotted a figure in the front seat, peering out of the window. Could it really be? He had to find Aleisha, to tell her. Leilah had come!
Chapter 40
MUKESH AND ALEISHA
ALEISHA WAS FILLING THE punch bowl. The ice cubes had melted quickly in the heat, and she worried that they hadn’t got enough in the library’s freezer.
‘Do you know that punch comes from the Hindi word “panch”?’ one old lady, dressed in a heavily embellished sari, said to her. She’d seen her around the library, she was always chatting away to someone in a corner, whispering in hushed tones. She’d had to tell her off once or twice.
‘I didn’t know that,’ Aleisha said, smiling at the lady. Her hair was pulled back into a severe bun with a net wrapped around it.
‘Panch means five, and five is how many ingredients are in punch. How many did you put in?’
Aleisha shrugged, she didn’t have a clue – Deepali had made it. At that moment, a young woman wearing a beret and a Breton top cut in. Aleisha knew she’d seen her around the library before.
‘Indira!’ the young woman said. ‘How are you? I’ve not seen you in ages.’
‘Oh, Izzy,’ the old lady grinned from ear to ear. ‘I know, my sciatica has been playing up so I’ve been on bed rest for a bit, but I’m back for the big day! Did you ever find out from that man at the library about your book list? Just like the one I found. I have been thinking about it for such a long time, beti.’
Aleisha watched as the woman spoke at a hundred miles an hour. Book list? Aleisha listened in more closely.
‘No, nothing yet. It’s a complete mystery. I mean, we might never find out – but look how much we’ve gained from it. I might never have met you, Indira!’ Izzy said, with an over-the-top smile. ‘Would you like to try some of my kombucha? It’s homemade. Sweetened with honey.’
Aleisha smelt the kombucha, which stank in the heat, and took the opportunity to duck out. She filed away what she’d just heard about the list, reminding herself to investigate, when from behind the young woman’s head, she caught sight of Zac’s car.
‘Aleisha!’ Mukesh said breathlessly by her shoulder, pointing towards Zac. ‘Someone is here for you!’
She held her brea
th as Zac walked towards her, holding a casserole dish, and she tried to get a glimpse of the person accompanying him, her heart in her mouth.
‘This all looks great!’ he called. ‘Hey, come meet my mum.’
Aleisha’s stomach dropped – out of the car, carrying another dish, was a woman. A woman she wanted to be her mother. She hadn’t expected Leilah to come. But she’d been hoping.
‘Hi,’ Aleisha said as Zac’s mum caught up with her. She was young and trendy with elegant blonde hair. She was wearing heeled sandals and a sheer blouse that looked as if it was the wrong choice for a stand-up buffet. ‘Lovely to meet you.’
‘You too, my love, I’m just so sorry to hear about your brother. Zac told me. But this is such a beautiful idea. I hope my vegetarian tagine is all right for your grandfather,’ she nodded her head towards Mukesh, who was waving frantically at Zac.
‘Oh, he’s not my grandfather,’ she smiled. ‘Just my friend, and a regular at the library. But thank you, thanks for coming. It means a lot.’ Aleisha was happy to meet her, but she had to swallow down her disappointment. She wanted to go home, she wanted to drag Leilah out kicking and screaming.
Thermos Flask stepped out from the library doors, bellowing, ‘Gather round, gather round,’ and people gradually did as told, reluctantly ceasing their chat.
‘Samuel! Don’t pull that lady’s dress. Come here!’ one mother called to her son, just as the crowd had gone absolutely silent. ‘Shit! Sorry!’ she shouted out. ‘Sorry!’
There was a brief chuckle, as Aleisha took a moment to survey the crowd. There were maybe around fifty here now, people of all different ages. She saw Breton girl again, as well as the pink-haired regular, and popular-science guy … wow, she hadn’t seen him in ages. Benny and Lucy were tucked towards the back, with their families. She recognized some people from pictures on Aidan’s phone, or from his social media, but most of them were brand new to her. Others were clearly Mukesh’s friends, but there were plenty of others Aleisha couldn’t easily categorize. Then she spotted Chris Crime Thriller with his mum and dad, who both looked just like their son. All were hunched over slightly, hands in their pockets. When he caught her eye, he smiled and waved a copy of a book at her. To Kill a Mockingbird.
The Reading List Page 31
