Mukesh,
I’ve started this letter ten, twenty times and I never know quite what I want to say. Thank you. Thank you for loving me, for being my friend, my soul mate, for all our fifty years. I am so happy we found each other and raised our family. I am proud of the life we built. It has been small but it has been full of love. You have made it so.
I want you to know you will be okay without me. But push yourself, Mukesh, challenge yourself every day. Speak to someone new. Do something different. Teach our children about our lives before them, and look after them, and don’t be afraid to let them look after you. Little Priya is shy – I found reading books with her helped her open up to me. I would love for you to try that too. She wants to be closer to you. And I want that for you both.
Find peace with yourself. I know you are angry, I know you are hurting. But my cancer is nobody’s fault. Sometimes this is just the way life goes. If you are reading this letter, then I am gone, and the next part of your life is about to begin. Enjoy it, it should be just as special as the time we had together.
Be kind, be caring, be yourself, Mukesh. You are the most wonderful person I could ever have known. Don’t be scared to love again if it finds you, and know I would be happy for you if you do, and remember, you can find family in the most unexpected places, and family will always find you.
All my love,
Naina x
P.S. These are the books that brought me closer to myself, that helped shape me and my world – I hope they’ll bring you light and joy and, if you ever miss me, you’ll find me within their pages. I love you.
P.P.S. I think Priya would love the books too – but maybe when she’s a little bit older.
As she started to tuck the list into the envelope, with the letter, she heard Mukesh’s footsteps plodding down the stairs. She hurriedly sat on the envelope and tucked her pen away in the bedside table.
‘Naina,’ Mukesh popped his head round. ‘Would you like some chai?’
‘Ha, that would be lovely,’ Naina replied. Mukesh tiptoed away as Naina hurriedly pulled the envelope out from under her bottom. It was all crumpled and creased. She sighed, and tucked it into the back of A Suitable Boy. If any book could flatten out a letter, it was that one.
‘Packet chai okay with you?’ Mukesh called.
‘Of course. My favourite,’ Naina said.
AUTHOR’S NOTE
ON THE READING LIST
While the reading list in the book belongs to one character, there are so many more books I wanted to include. Books that have changed the way I’ve thought about writing, people, the world. Books that inspired me, moved me, taught me more than any school lesson could. Books that made me want to be a reader and eventually a writer.
This is my reading list.
Jhumpa Lahiri, The Namesake
Arundhati Roy, The God of Small Things
Zadie Smith, White Teeth
Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie, Americanah
Katherine Heiny, Standard Deviation
Rohinton Mistry, A Fine Balance
Hiromi Kawakami, Strange Weather in Tokyo
Angela Carter, The Magic Toyshop
Maya Angelou, I Know Why The Caged Bird Sings
Attia Hosain, Sunlight on a Broken Column
Ali Smith, There But For The
These books found me at just the right time in my life. I can remember each of them so vividly, I remember the characters as though they were friends, sometimes even family. I can remember exactly where I was and how I felt when I turned that final page. They’ve stayed with me ever since.
ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS
This book has been so close to my heart for a long time, but it wouldn’t exist at all were it not for so many amazing people. Thank you to my agent, Hayley Steed, who has been the biggest supporter I could have wished for. Thank you for believing in this book before it was even fully formed, for your editorial insights, expertise and unwavering enthusiasm, and for guiding my anxious brain through the whole process. Huge thanks to the team at Madeleine Milburn Literary Agency, and a special shoutout to the Rights Superstars Liane-Louise, Georgina and Sophie. You have been the perfect literary family – and this book is in the very best hands with you all.
To Charlotte Brabbin, my brilliant editor – this book would not be what it is without you. Thank you so much for your passion, for your creativity, your attention to detail, your vision and belief in this book. Thank you to the whole team at HarperFiction, especially Nancy Adimora, Jen Harlow, Becca Bryant, Lynne Drew, Hannah O’Brien and Katy Blott, Grace Dent, Isabel Coburn, Ammara Isa, Alice Gomer, Sarah Munro and Laura Daley. I am in awe of all your talents and incredibly grateful for all your care with this book! Thank you to Claire Ward and Andrew Davis for the amazing cover, and Aleesha Nandhra for your beautiful artwork.
To Rachel Kahan, my fantastic editor at William Morrow, and to the whole William Morrow team – thank you for taking such great care of this book state-side.
To my first readers – Hannah Wann, Amanda Preston, Niki Chang. Your advice and your insight spurred me on. Rosie Price, thank you for your friendship, your kindness and for helping me through all the bumps in the road.
To Ifey Frederick, for always being my rock, and for keeping me grounded.
Noor Sufi, my partner in crime, you have been there every step of the way. Thank you for being my fabulous friend and this book’s biggest champion – your excitement kept me going at so many points, and it has meant everything.
Thank you to Liz Foley and Kate Harvey, for all your words of wisdom.
To all my friends, for being the best cheerleaders and for picking me up whenever I’ve needed it, especially Abi, Mary, Rachael, Christina, Monica, Kitty, Radiya, Katie; and to Isobel Turner – for actually collecting lists and allowing me to put Izzy in the book!
To my colleagues and all the amazing authors I’ve worked with at Headline, Vintage and Hodder. Thank you for the guidance and support you’ve given me over the years.
To all the librarians and booksellers who make the book world what it is – you do so much for people and for communities. Thank you!
And finally, my family. Your joy about this book has meant the world and it has made all my over-thinking, the late nights and early mornings one-hundred percent worth it. Thank you to Dada, for always asking me what I was reading and for being the start of this story. Thank you, Ba, for your love and endless generosity; Jaymin and Jigar, for being great baby cousins and for telling me where all the cool kids hang out these days. Thank you, Auntie, for so much but especially for reading this book out loud to Granny and taking out the swear words. I’ll forever be grateful!
Thank you to my parents for everything. Dad, thanks for always believing in me and for never letting me give up. You have read all the little stories and half-baked novels I’ve ever written, except for this one, because you want to buy it in a bookshop first. I hope you enjoy it and that it’s been worth the wait. Mum, so much love to you for reading this story, and for talking about my characters as though they’re real. It has been the greatest feeling knowing you love it. The fact you’re proud makes me proud too.
And to Granny – it brings me so much happiness and comfort knowing you read this book. Thank you for always asking me, ‘how’s the writing going?’. I never wanted to tell you ‘it’s not’, and because of that, this book is finally here. I miss you every day.
And to Will Handysides. I literally could not have written this book without you. Thank you for all you’ve done to make this possible – for putting up with my fretting, for reading and editing the book so many times, for being brutally honest and mega kind too, for letting me ask the same questions over and over again, for being a constant inspiration, and for putting up with my ‘creative’ slobbishness … You’re one of a kind. Thank you for being you.
About the Author
Sara Nisha Adams is a writer and editor. She lives in London and was born in Hertfordshire to Indian and English parents. Her debut novel The Readi
ng List is partly inspired by her grandfather, who lived in Wembley and immediately found a connection with his granddaughter through books.
@saranishaadams
@saranishaadamsbooks
About the Publisher
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United Kingdom
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