by Claire Adams
“Something happened,” one of the guys next to me said.
How did he know? They were too far away for me to be able to tell anything, but then it seemed like he was right; Ditto was still running, but not in that smooth, fluid way he’d been just a few seconds ago. He was running parallel to us now, not away from us, and though my eyes were seeing it, my brain couldn’t quite seem to compute what was happening.
“Oh my god,” someone said, and someone else let out a cry.
Ditto, it seemed, was running on three legs. His right foreleg had snapped, and the lower half was dangling grotesquely, hanging on it seemed, by a thread. And then Ollie was right there behind Ditto, and this time he managed to lasso him. He jumped off the back of his horse, and I started to run toward them, even though I knew there was nothing I’d be able to do.
By the time I reached them, Ollie had gotten Ditto onto the ground, his knee pinned on the horse’s neck, holding him there. As I got closer, my stomach turned, but I couldn’t look away. I could see bone and blood, and what looked to be tendons or ligaments, shredded, the lower part of his leg bent away from the rest of his leg at an almost ninety-degree angle.
“You need to go get Garrett,” Ollie said. “And tell him to bring his shotgun.”
“Okay,” I said, feeling tears well up in my eyes. Ditto lay there, his own eyes wide with fear and pain, and I could see the sheer amount of agony he was in. I turned and ran as fast as I could, but someone had already gotten Garrett, and he must’ve known it would be bad because he had his rifle.
He took one look at Ditto’s leg and nodded grimly. I looked back to where the crowd of people were, and I could see Marie and a few of the other ranch hands dispersing the crowd.
“You might want to go with them,” Garrett said. “I don’t know if you want to see this.”
I didn’t want to see it either, but even if I looked away, I’d still be able to hear it. I’d heard rifles go off before, but never so close, and my heart flew into my throat when Garrett fired the shot. Tears welled up in my eyes, but I blinked them back. Ollie rose slowly, a blank expression on his face. They both stood there for a long time without saying anything. I knew I should probably walk away, but I couldn’t move. My feet felt rooted to the ground.
“What in hell happened?” Garrett finally said, anger in his voice like nothing I’d ever heard before.
“I don’t know,” Ollie said. “He got out.”
Garrett’s eyes blazed. “That much I can see. The whole damn ranch saw that.”
Ollie looked completely stricken. He started to say something but Garrett cut him off. “I’ve got to go get the tractor and dig a hole. You go get a tarp from the barn and cover this up.” He turned briskly and walked away.
“Ollie,” I said.
He shook his head, not meeting my eye. “I’ve got to go get that tarp,” he said. He walked toward the barn, and I knew not to hurry to catch up with him, I knew that what he needed right now was just to be left alone.
Chapter Twenty
Ollie
The dreams that had all but stopped were suddenly back with a force. Except now there was another element added to it, that image of Ditto, his cannon snapped, though in my dreams, all four of his legs were broken, yet he was somehow running on mangled stumps. We were on a beach, except the beach was covered in jagged rocks, and the ground moved, like a treadmill, so it didn’t matter how fast the horse ran, he never got anywhere and just decimated his legs even more.
All I could do was stand there, trapped amongst the rocks, watching the horse run even though I myself was unable to move, unable to look away, unable to do anything except stand there and know that this whole thing was happening because of me.
Sleeping became almost too much to bear. I drank copious amounts of coffee and felt wired, my mind sharp, my thoughts careening through my skull at breakneck speed. Wren was a welcome distraction, but I no longer found myself looking forward to sex and then drifting off to sleep together because the dreams would find me there, too.
Wren had come over after I’d finished with evening chores, bringing her laptop so we could watch a movie. I thought that might be a good distraction, and it was, but then the movie ended.
“Should I get going?” she asked.
“No, you don’t have to. I don’t want you to leave yet.”
I got up and stretched, went over to the kitchen, and got a glass of water.
“How are you doing?” she asked, watching me. “I mean, with the whole thing with Ditto and everything…”
“I still feel awful about it. The whole thing is stressing me out. I know Garrett’s pissed. And he has every right to be.”
She pushed herself up off the couch and came over to me. “It was awful,” she said. “For everyone. You, too.”
I rubbed my eyes. “I appreciate you trying to make me feel better, but I deserve to feel like shit over this. I don’t deserve someone trying to make it better.”
“You know what you need?” she said, reaching for me. “You need a good fuck. You do deserve that. And I think maybe I can help you in that department.”
She pushed me back onto the couch, but instead of getting next to me, she stood in front of me and started to gyrate her hips a little. She pulled her shirt off over her head and swung it around on a fingertip before letting it fly across the room. She continued to move, dancing to some song in her head. I let myself fall back into the couch cushions and watch her as she shimmied that hot little ass of hers from her jeans, kicking them to the side. She was well muscled but slender, and those tits of hers were high and firm. She unhooked her bra, let the straps fall forward, and then she danced around a little before letting the bra fall to the floor. I felt my dick starting to get harder. She slid her underwear down her legs and stood there in front of me, not shy at all. Not that she should be—she was perfectly gorgeous, from her head to her toes.
“Come here,” I said.
She slinked over and then knelt down in front of me, unbuttoning my jeans, sliding them off. I pulled my shirt off and tossed it to the side.
“Lie down,” she said.
I stretched out on the couch, expecting her to get on top of me again, like she had before. Instead, though, she turned away from me and then got onto the couch, sliding back so her face was right above my cock, and her pussy right above my face. I grabbed her ass cheeks and squeezed, felt her start running the tip of her tongue on me.
I’d gone down on Carolyn exactly once, but not because I didn’t want to. She’d been squeamish about it and, I think, a little embarrassed. Not Wren, though. She spread her legs further apart and moved her hips over my face, while she bobbed her head up and down on my dick. I was glad she was on top; I enjoyed the feeling of being trapped underneath her.
I licked her slowly, running my tongue over her clit and then down to her pussy, then back up again, over and over. She groaned, the back of her throat vibrating against the head of my dick, and I groaned too. I used the tip of my tongue and traced circles around her clit, slid my index and middle finger into her, worked them around, and felt how wet she was. Her mouth was silky velvet, and it felt like she had me halfway down her throat. She squeezed my balls, pulling them down gently, taking the edge off just a little.
And then, just like that, she stopped.
“Sit up now,” she said, sliding off of me. I sat up, my whole body buzzing, my head feeling like it was stuffed with cotton. I leaned back against the couch cushions, and she sat on my lap, facing away, so I could run my fingers down her spine and watch the way she arched her back. My cock slid in easily, and I clenched my jaw, squeezed her hips, and tried to get her to hold still for a minute so I could acclimate. I wanted to draw this out for as long as possible, and if she started bouncing up and down right now, it would be over in a few seconds.
I took long, deep breaths, slowly relaxed my jaw, loosened my grip on her hips a little, and guided her movements. She went slowly, swiveling her hips, circles
, serpentines, figure 8’s. Damn, she was good. The sensations rolled over me like waves, one after the other, each one a little more intense, a little better feeling, than the previous one.
I could tell by the sounds she was making she was about to come, could feel the way her muscles contracted around my dick, and I squeezed my eyes shut and gripped her hips and thrust harder. It felt like all my senses were getting squeezed into the tiniest of fragments, and then all of a sudden they exploded. Even though my eyes were closed, a rainbow of fireworks bloomed across my vision. My lap felt like it was covered in warm fluid.
My eyes flew open. “What’s that?” I asked.
She was still rocking on me, but slower now, her breathing still ragged. “Oh, shit,” she said. “Don’t worry—it’s not pee. I swear, I didn’t just pee on you. It’s, um…happy juice?”
I laughed. “Oh, is that what it is?”
“Errr, yeah. That’s the first time that’s ever happened . . . that much of it, anyway. Do you have a towel?”
“Yeah. Should be one you can grab in the bathroom. I’ll just hop in the shower, though.”
“Mind if I join you?”
“I was hoping you’d ask.”
As we walked the short distance to the bathroom, I could hear the sound of distant laughter and knew that there was another bonfire happening. It wasn’t mandatory that employees attended these things, but I knew Garrett liked it when we did and were able to mingle with the guests without having to be concerned with work. I felt a big yawn coming on though, as I adjusted the water temperature. I just couldn’t go out there right now, even after the sex, even after a shower. For the first time in a while, crawling into bed and falling asleep sounded downright appealing.
Wren slipped into the shower behind me, and we took turns standing under the warm water. Then she grabbed the bar of soap and lathered herself up, had me get her back, my hands running easily over her slippery, slick skin. She turned so she was facing me, and I soaped up her breasts, her belly, watched as the rivulets of water washed the suds away. My cock started to get hard again, and she stepped right against me, so the entire lengths of our bodies were touching. She turned so her back was against the side of the shower, the water flowing down on her right side, my left side. I took a wider stance and planted my feet, hoping the soap and water and slickness of the tile wouldn’t make me fall. She put her palm down on the soap ledge and used it for leverage so she could get first one leg, then the other, wrapped around my hips, and I reached around under ass, holding her up. She shifted around a little until the head of my cock was right there, though the water was washing away any of her own wetness, so for a second it almost felt as though our skin was sticking together. But then she thrust her hips forward, and I slid in, and inside, where the water wasn’t, she was warm and wet and tight. She clenched those muscles of hers and raked her fingers down my back and bit my earlobe, and with the water cascading down on us, I just closed my eyes and felt like I was in heaven.
Afterward, we got out, and she laughed and said now she felt like she needed a shower after her shower.
“I’m just kidding,” she said. “I feel amazing. So amazing, in fact, all I want to do is crawl into you bed next to you and go to sleep for a very long time.”
That was about all I wanted to do, too, but I wasn’t sure how Garrett would feel about it.
“I’ll be up early to go into the restaurant,” she said. “I know you’ve got to be up early, too.”
And she was already walking into the bedroom, pulling back the sheets. As long as I was up when I was supposed to be, I guess it didn’t matter. It’s not like we’d be running around naked, waking up the guests, at three in the morning or anything.
So, I crawled into bed next to her, the sheets cool against my bare skin. She snuggled right up against me and kissed me once.
“You’re about the most incredible man I’ve ever met,” she said, her voice heavy with sleep. “I love you . . .”
Or at least I thought that’s what she said—I wasn’t completely sure because it was almost a whisper, and then she was asleep, and I wasn’t going to wake her up. And maybe, she’d said something else, or she didn’t mean to say it, or…any number of things. It didn’t really matter, anyway, because I was in bed with a beautiful woman, and all I had to do was close my eyes and go to sleep.
Except I couldn’t. Now that I was in bed, now that I was supposed to close my eyes, I was suddenly wide awake, my mind spinning. Sex had taken my mind off of things while I had been in the middle of the act, but now that it was over and I was just lying here, all I could do was think about everything that had happened recently.
Was I losing my mind? Was that it? The water being left on, the cinch being loose, Ditto’s gate being left open…
In the morning, though, any residual good feelings I’d had were gone. Wren had to leave, and I had to get out there and get started on the morning chores. Ditto’s corral was empty. I couldn’t even look at it.
I was about to head up into the loft to throw down more hay bales when Garrett appeared, asking me if I would come on up to the house for a minute. “Jesse can take care of the hay,” he said.
I nodded. “All right.” I followed him up to the house, neither of us saying anything.
Inside, he had me sit at the kitchen table. Marie was there, too, and all of a sudden, I got a real bad feeling.
“Would you like some coffee?” Marie asked.
“Sure,” I said, even though my throat felt parched, and my pulse was racing. They were going to can me. They were going to tell me to pack my shit and go. Thing was, I couldn’t blame them.
“Is everything all right with you?” Garrett asked. Both he and Marie looked concerned.
“I think so,” I said. “I mean, I feel fine. Well, I don’t feel fine after what happened with Ditto, but…” I shook my head. “I just don’t know.”
“Has anything been going on to make you feel more stressed out lately?” Marie said. “Have you been sleeping all right? Eating well?”
“Yeah. Yeah, nothing has changed. Except…” I paused.
Garrett and Marie both looked at me. “Except…?” he said.
Except Wren. And yeah, I did think about her a lot, she was on my mind. But I didn’t think it was so much that I’d be forgetting to do things that were basically ingrained in me.
“Wren,” I said softly, feeling like I was betraying her.
Marie reached over and patted my hand. “She is a lovely girl,” she said. “Relationships can feel all-consuming at times. Especially at first.” She looked at Garrett with a faint smile. “I remember when I first met Garrett; he was all I could think about.”
Garrett shook his head. “A relationship is no reason to let your head disappear up in the clouds,” he said. I could still hear the anger—or maybe it was disappointment—in his voice. I’d let him down, I knew it, and that felt worse than anything else.
“I know it shouldn’t,” I said. “It’s completely unacceptable. I’m having a hard time believing it myself, that I was so distracted I just forgot to do things that I’ve always done before.”
But it made sense, I supposed. I was used to doing all the ranch stuff—though I did have a seven-year hiatus—what I wasn’t used to was the girlfriend aspect. It had been different with Carolyn; I hadn’t felt nearly as strongly toward her as what I felt toward Wren. Marie was right; it was, in a way, all-consuming. Maybe other people were better equipped to handle that sort of thing. Maybe if I had a job in an office or at the grocery store, the worst thing that would have happened was I’d staple my finger or knock over a bushel of apples or something.
“There’s no excuse for it,” I said. “And I know nothing I say is going to change anything, so the last thing I’ll say about it is that I’m sorry. It won’t happen again. You guys have been there more for me than anyone else, and it means the world to me that you even wanted me back here in the first place. I don’t want to jeopardize that.”
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“We know you didn’t do it on purpose,” Marie said.
Garrett nodded, though I could tell he was having less of an easy time accepting the fact that it was merely an oversight. “The last thing we want is for anyone to get hurt—human or horse. Especially when it’s something preventable. I’ve been working in this business long enough to know that mistakes happen, and I’ve certainly made enough of them myself. So, I don’t want you to think we’re sitting here telling you that you need to be perfect, because we’re not, and we know that’s completely unreasonable. But we do expect a high level of professionalism, not just because it reflects upon who we are, but because it keeps people safe. It keeps the animals safe.”
“I’ll make it right,” I said. I didn’t come out and say it, but I knew what needed to be done, even though it was the last thing in the world that I wanted to do.
But I wasn’t going to put it off; I’d been down that path before and knew just where it led. Wren was planning to come over that afternoon, and I figured I’d just let her. I could tell her then. I couldn’t let myself think about it anymore than that—it had to be done.
When she got there, we went into my cabin. She tried to put her arms around me and give me a kiss, but I pulled back.
“Wren,” I said. “There’s . . . there’s something we need to talk about.”
“What’s that?” She pulled my face toward hers and gave me a kiss, her lips lingering on mine.
“You can’t be kissing me when I tell you.”
She nipped my lower lip, then let go. “Okay,” she said. “What is this big announcement you need to make? That’s so much more important than me giving you a kiss?”
I swallowed. “I think I have to break up with you,” I said. To my surprise, she started to laugh.
“Oh, you’re hilarious,” she said. And then she leaned over and tried to kiss me again.
“No, I’m not joking,” I said, putting my arm up to hold her back.
Her face froze, and then she frowned and bit her lip. “What?”
