by Wendy Smith
Rosalyn detaches from me and stands. “Go and get some sleep. You need a holiday.”
“I know, but I have no idea when I can take one.”
“That lawyer lady should give you a pay rise so you don’t have to work at night.”
I laugh. “I’d have more luck getting blood out of a stone.”
“Good night, Brooke. See you tomorrow.”
I nod. “Good night.”
“I’ll see myself out.”
Left alone in my living room, my mind wanders to Cole again. He’s said he wants to talk. Does he want to be a part of our lives again?
I drag myself toward my bedroom, pausing at Kaia’s door. She’s the best thing I’ve ever done with my life. She’s asleep, and I pull the blanket up just a little more to make sure she’s covered.
Next door is my room, and I slip out of my clothes and pull a T-shirt on. The constant grind of life is getting to me, and although I love having Rosalyn’s help, the time to start looking for a new job and possibly a new place to live is coming soon.
Slipping into bed, I sigh. Regardless of what Cole wants, I need to do something new.
“Mommy?” Kaia leaps on my bed. A minute ago she was fast asleep, but that didn’t last. She grins that cheeky grin of hers as I pull her into me for a snuggle.
“This isn’t your bed.”
“There’s room.” Her dark eyes leave my heart aching. Everyone says she looks a lot like me, but there’s no mistaking those eyes. They’re Cole, through and through.
“There’s always room.” I stroke her blond curls. This little girl is the love of my life. Five years ago, I didn’t think there could be anyone I loved more than Cole, but I was wrong. Kaia is it.
What if Cole wants custody?
That thought has prayed on my mind for a long time, but Cole never showed any sign of wanting her after he left.
Maybe he never wanted her.
I pull her in tighter, and she squeals.
“Mommy.”
I laugh. “Sorry, baby. Let’s get some rest. Okay?”
There’s no point sending her back to her room. I close my eyes and wrap myself around my sweet girl.
It doesn’t take much to go to sleep.
5
Cole
It’s been the longest three days of my life, but Sunday finally arrives. And it’s crazy just how nervous I am.
She opens the door, and I stop breathing. Dressed in a simple T-shirt and jeans, she takes every last bit of air from my lungs in a way she never used to. What’s changed?
We both grew up.
“I’m sorry, Cole. Kaia’s just fallen asleep. We went to the park this afternoon, and she was exhausted. She might wake up a little later, but I can’t promise anything.”
I nod. “I’m sorry to have missed her. Can we still talk?”
“Sure.” She steps back, and I walk into her apartment. It’s small, but I guess it’s big enough for just the two of them. The house we had together had three bedrooms and a large backyard. When Kaia was born, I’d pictured her growing up there.
Is it just the two of them?
“Like I said, I’m really sorry Kaia’s not awake. With my work schedule, we don’t get a lot of time together, and when we do we tend to make the most of it.”
“I’m sure. Dinner smells great.”
She smiles. “I roasted a chicken. It’s Kaia’s favorite.”
“Mine too.”
Brooke’s smile falters, and her gaze shifts from me to off in the distance as if she’s remembering something. “It is too. I’d forgotten about that.” Her eyes meet mine. “She’s like you in a lot of ways. She also doesn’t like broccoli.”
“Who does?” I shrug.
She laughs. “I do. It’s the one vegetable she won’t eat. She’s pretty good otherwise.”
I follow her into the kitchen, and take a deep breath. My mouth waters at the scent. It’s been a while since I’ve had a home-cooked meal.
“I’ll just mash the potatoes, and then we can eat.”
I smile. “Sounds good.”
She takes the potatoes off the cooktop and strains them, tipping them into a bowl. “Do you live near here?” she asks.
“No. I’m across town. I’ve just bought a house and moved in a couple of weeks ago.”
Brooke cuts some butter up and adds it to the potato with a generous helping of milk. “You bought a house? I guess that means you’re doing really well.”
I shrug. “I found something I’m good at.”
“What do you do?”
“I’m a stockbroker.”
She flicks a glance at me. “Nice.”
“You travel quite a distance for Kaia’s day care. I was surprised you lived in this part of town.” I smile. “I thought you’d be living in the lap of luxury.”
“Lap of luxury? Why on earth would you think that?” She slams the potato masher down hard on the bench. Flecks of mashed potato fly through the air, and I brush one off my shirt.
“When I left, I asked Dad to make sure you were well taken care of.”
She steels her glare. “Oh, he took care of us alright. The minute you were gone, he evicted us.”
My heart drops, my jaw along with it. “What are you talking about? He said that house was ours.”
“Yours, Cole. Yours. Not mine. He made that abundantly clear.” She swallows hard, and her eyes are swimming with tears. I just want to hold her in my arms and make everything better, but I know she doesn’t want that, and I don’t know what to do.
“I don’t understand.”
She takes a deep breath. “Maybe you should have come back and checked on us. At least once. Kaia’s your daughter.”
I take a step forward. “I did. And when you weren’t there I asked Dad where you were. He said you were living with your mother. But she wasn’t there either, and no one seemed to know where you’d gone.”
She shakes, holding her fist under her nose. “All of a sudden Mom had two more mouths to feed. We moved to a cheaper place, and I found a job stocking shelves at night at first. It wasn’t easy, but we managed for a while.”
“How did you end up here?”
Brooke closes her eyes. “Mom died. She tried to straighten up, and she looked after Kaia with a promise she wouldn’t drink. And she managed to do that for a few months.”
She shrugs off the hand I place on her shoulder, and looks at me with teary eyes. “I’m sorry.”
“One night when I was at home, she went out with her friends and after a few drinks, she decided to drive home.”
The tears roll down her cheeks. “She hit a car head-on right around the corner from home. I sold everything I could to pay for her funeral, and we packed up and moved a few times before I found my job here. And then I had to take a second job so I could afford to put Kaia in day care.”
My head spins. “Surely you got my child support payments?”
“There was no child support.”
“But, Dad …” I don’t even finish my sentence. “What happened?”
“Your father wanted a DNA test before he’d give us any money. I would rather work two jobs than go through him interrogating me about whether or not you were Kaia’s father.”
My throat has the biggest lump in it. Sure, my father can be a real asshole, but I never thought he’d go this far. Kaia’s my child. I know it, and that should be enough. “I’m so sorry, Brooke. I had no idea.”
“I’m sure you didn’t.” She licks her lips. “I had no money, and nowhere to go but Mom’s.”
Her blue eyes fix on me, and they’re so full of sadness it leaves me wanting to weep. I curse how immature I was, how all I thought about was myself back then. And then I curse how I relied on the word of a man who I knew didn’t like her.
I should have done more to protect both Brooke and Kaia.
“I’ll fix it. You won’t have to work two jobs. Hell, with all that you’re owed, I doubt you’ll have to work one.”
�
�Do you really think money’s going to fix all of this?”
I shake my head. “I should have been there for you and for Kaia. I’m so sorry, Brooke, and I know I’m asking a lot for you to forgive me, but I won’t rest until you do.”
She blinks rapidly, and I know it’s a lot for her to take in. Until a couple of days ago, she thought I was gone from her life, and for all intents and purposes I was. But I can’t let this go. My wife and child deserve so much more than what they ended up with.
“If you didn’t know about it—”
“I swear I didn’t.”
She clears her throat. “You walked away from us, Cole. Left us to the mercy of your father. I can forgive you for not knowing about the child support, or lack thereof, but I will never forgive you for leaving and not looking back.”
My heart aches at her words.
She’s one hundred percent right.
Throughout dinner, we exchange glances. It’s awkward and horrible, and I hate it more than anything. Before the pregnancy, before the marriage, before I fucked everything up, she was my best friend.
When we broke up, I buried myself in studies and then work. I returned home, but she’d already moved on.
And now I know why.
Dad never said a thing, and Mum blamed me for Brooke going away.
What happened? Where the hell did the money go if it didn’t go to my wife and child? Would I have felt such mixed emotions if Brooke hadn’t left? Left is the wrong word. My father kicked her out of the house. It explains so much.
I always thought that after we broke up Brooke would at least let my mother spend time with Kaia, but if Dad had wronged her, no wonder she didn’t want anything to do with my family.
It’s something I need to change.
Brooke sets her knife and fork down on her plate. “I don’t know what you want, Cole, but I can’t disrupt Kaia’s life.”
“I don’t want to be a disruption.”
“We’re settled into a routine. I’ll fight you if you try and take her away.”
I blink rapidly as a million different emotions wash over me. “I’d never do that. You’re her mother, and you’re all she’s known her entire life.”
“You say that now. I can’t afford a legal fight, Cole.”
“There won’t be one.”
She pushes her plate away. “I don’t know if I can trust you.”
“Then I’ll do my best to gain your trust. I’m just so relieved to see you.”
“Relieved?”
“I didn’t know where you were.”
She shrugs. “We got on with our lives without you. It was what I had to do.”
“I know.” I reach for her hand. “I felt like we were swimming uphill, Brooke. Stupidly, I thought if I could make something of myself, I’d make my little girl proud. I never intended not to see you two for this long.”
Tears slide down Brooke’s cheeks. “Well, you did. That little girl never got a chance to know her daddy.”
“And that’s on me.” I give her a hopeful smile. “When I didn’t know where you were, I thought maybe that was what you wanted. I left well enough alone. But that’s not enough now I’ve seen you, and spoken to you.”
I take a deep breath and trace my finger up her cheek, collecting the tear first on one side and then the other. “I’m sorry for hurting you. If I could take it back, I would. I’ll do anything to make things better.”
She shifts her gaze to the ceiling, and away from mine. “It’s a lot to ask.”
“I know it is. I wouldn’t be here if I didn’t want to try.”
She nods. “That’s true.”
“I promise you I won’t do anything in regards to custody. Kaia’s happy. I just want to get to know her and spend some time with you.”
“Spend time with me?” She looks at me with sad eyes.
“I’ll grovel if I need to.”
Her lips twist into a smile. “You? Grovel? I doubt you’ve ever had to do that in your life.”
“I’d do it for you.” I squeeze her hand. “I’ve missed you.”
“I’ve missed you too.” She takes in a big breath. The words must be painful for her to say.
“I promise I’ll make things better.”
“You’re making an awful lot of promises.”
I grasp her chin and pull her gaze to mine. “I’ll keep them all. Dad thinks he can control this, control my life. He always has. I should have seen it before, but I thought he’d protect you and Kaia.”
“He’s never liked me. You knew that.”
“I’m just so angry that I let him do it. And angry at myself for not seeing it earlier.”
“Four years, Cole. Four years since we saw you.” She dissolves into tears, and I lean over, wrapping my arms around her. I close my eyes as I take in the familiar sweet smell of her. I’ve missed her every single day, but fought myself because I thought I knew what she wanted.
I hold her while she cries, and the anger builds inside me. If I was her, I wouldn’t have let me near her and Kaia, but Brooke’s always had a big heart.
All I can do is hope she gives me the chance I crave.
But the first thing for me to do is speak to my father.
6
Cole
“Jensen Masters speaking.”
“Dad, it’s Cole.”
“Cole.” My father’s tone is warm, just like it usually is. That’ll change when he hears what I have to say.
“I’m calling about Brooke, Dad.”
He doesn’t have to say anything for me to feel the iciness down the phone. His breathing changes, as if he’s been caught out. “What about her? You got out of that mistake of a marriage a long time ago.”
“We did a deal over taking care of Brooke and Kaia. What happened to that?”
There’s a pause.
“Cole, I did what was best for you.”
“And not my daughter?” I take a deep breath. “She’s my flesh and blood, Dad. How could you treat her like that? Did you know Brooke’s been working two jobs to support them when this whole time I thought they were getting payments from my trust fund?”
“How did you know that baby was yours? Brooke wouldn’t let me confirm it, and she’s not getting a cent until she does. Did she come begging?”
“No, Dad. Jesus. I went looking for her, and felt like a real asshole when she told me what you’d done. You gave us that house, and then you threw her out like she meant nothing to me.”
Dad growls. “She never proved to either of us that the child was yours. You know what that means, don’t you? The whole thing was a scam. I should never have let you marry that gold-digging little--”
“Don’t you ever speak about her like that. She’s got nothing. Nothing. And after you treated her like shit, she never asked for anything from me. She works hard to provide for our daughter, and I feel like shit because I thought they’d had the best life I could give them.” My voice breaks when I think of them in that tiny little apartment, and how hard Brooke works.
“She’s not your daughter, Cole.”
“Oh my God, Dad. Pull your head out of your ass. Anyone who looks at Kaia can see she’s mine. If you’d paid any attention, or gave a shit about your granddaughter, you would know that.” I pinch the bridge of my nose between my fingers. “I’m going to fix everything, make it all right with Brooke. But know one thing: I will never trust you again.”
“Cole,” he says softly.
“Screw you, Dad. I’ll be talking to a lawyer about unlocking my trust fund and paying Brooke every single cent you never gave her.“
“You can’t do that.”
“Just watch me. I want to know where those payments went.”
There’s silence for a moment. “They’ve gone nowhere.”
“The financial information is fake?”
“No.” He sighs. “I set up an account for them to go into. I swear that all she needed to do was the DNA test and she could have had the whole lot.”
>
“She doesn’t owe you anything.”
“Cole, you can’t get involved again. It was a mistake, and you’re much better off out of it. Who knows where she’s been since you—”
“I’m not going to listen to you make her out to be someone she’s not. All Brooke ever did wrong was to love me and trust me the night Kaia was conceived. We both did dumb things, and if it takes the rest of my life to make up for it all, I will.”
There’s silence on the end of the phone.
“Anyway, I’ve got to go. I have to sort things out for my wife and daughter.”
“You owe her nothing.”
I swallow. “That’s the thing, Dad. I owe her everything.”
In the afternoon, my email dings. It’s a message from Brooke. Slowly, the screen fills with an image of my Kaia. She’s a bit younger than she is now, and standing beside a much larger snowman. Her gloves and coat are sprinkled with snowflakes, and her hands are clapped across her mouth like she’s hiding something.
My heart aches to think of all the moments I’ve missed.
I found this. Kaia and I made a snowman. She wanted it to come alive like that movie, and she cried when it didn’t.
“That your girl?” Mike looks over my shoulder.
“That’s Kaia. She’s four.”
“So you and her mother are on speaking terms now?”
I nod. “A lot went on that I didn’t know about. My dad treated her like shit when he promised to take care of her while I was gone.”
Mike lets out a loud breath. “So what are you going to do?”
“I’ve pulled out the spreadsheets his accountant sent me to show child support payments going to Brooke. But they haven’t been going to her.”
“What the hell?”
“They’ve been going into a holding account. Dad was withholding the money until Brooke proved Kaia was mine. Which is not what we agreed to.”
“That’s some fucked up shit.”
“You’re telling me.”
He nudges my arm. “But this is good, right?”
I nod, looking at the photo. “I made a huge mistake, Mike. I should have taken them with me and made it work.”
