"Sir," the sergeant added, almost as an afterthought.
"Of course! That's what I meant, Trevor, old boy! But couldn't you simply leave the parts in my protective custody?" Professor Einstein asked hopefully, rifling through his wallet. "I am an honorary member of the North Cumberland Dragoons!"
"No." The single word broached no further discussion.
Einstein plowed on anyway. "I am also a full corporal with Scotland Yard."
"Pulls no weight with me, sir," Sergeant Oltion sniffed, crossing his muscular arms to display the tattoos of a dozen wars.
"I am also an operative of the British Secret Service."
"How nice."
"A bishop in the Church of England?"
"Don't care," the sergeant yawned.
"Once, long ago, I traveled from a far land," the professor said, brushing off his lapel with one hand, and rubbing his wrist with the other in a complex gesture.
The sergeant stared at the professor blankly.
Oh, drat. "Wealthy and unscrupulous?" Professor Einstein asked in desperation, pulling from his coat pocket a flawless blue-white diamond the size of a cricket ball.
The soldier dropped his jaw.
"It's from the lost mines of King Solomon, you know," the professor said teasingly, turning the diamond about to let the light sparkle on its many facets. "And there are more. Oh, there are a lot more of these."
Beaming in delight, Sergeant Oltion placed a friendly hand on the professor's shoulder. "Cor, an why didn't ya say so in the first place, old bean!" the soldier chuckled, unable to take his eyes off the massive gem. "Let's go have a nice cup of tea and finish this little chat in the confines of my private office…"
***
Many hours later, when the long day finally ended, the sun began to set and a full moon rose into the starry heavens. Once again, its inhuman arse was safely turned away from the sight of Humanity, and the man-in-the-moon smiled peacefully upon the slumbering Earth.
If that face seemed slightly altered and now vaguely resembled a very startled Professor Felix Einstein radiating a wild explosion of magic in some primitive temple, that surely was a matter of the purest coincidence.
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THAT DARN SQUID GOD Page 34
