“He was so kind,” Lizzie mused. “He could have railed at me all the way home, for I deserved it after the trouble I caused. I almost wanted him to. But he never did. Not even once. He comforted me and allowed me space to grieve what I’d done. When I tried to apologize, he wouldn’t hear it, even though I know in my heart that he must have sacrificed a great deal of money to protect me.”
“But then, I know you wouldn’t expect anything less of him,” Amelia said. “He’s Hugh, after all.”
“Yes. He is that. So now you know why I am so opposed to coming out. And London terrifies me. What if that man is there? Or what if there is another man like him and my nature is to be so foolish? Or what if people find out what I did?”
“Oh, darling, listen to yourself,” Amelia said gently, in order to stop the wildness that was building in Lizzie’s voice. “What if, what if, what if…you could run yourself ragged with all those worst possibilities. And what if something wonderful happens to you instead?”
“I can’t even picture something wonderful anymore,” Lizzie whispered.
Amelia wiped at a tear, hurt by the idea that this sweet, lovely girl was so traumatized that only horrible futures could exist in her head. She and Hugh would have to work on that together, ease her back into the world and protect her as she got her confidence back.
She blinked. Together. It was so easy to see them as a unit now. Two halves of a whole, with the same desires and goals.
She shook off those thoughts. “If you cannot picture it, let me,” she said. “What if you make new friends? Hugh’s club members have married and their wives are the sweetest, most wonderful women I have ever met. I assure you, they will greet you with open arms.”
Lizzie shifted. “I hadn’t thought of that. I do know Meg and Charlotte. They were always so kind to me when I was a little girl.”
“Of course they would be,” Amelia said. “They’re both divine. And the rest are just as welcoming and good. You’ll have them as your base, and I’m certain you’ll meet many other friends along with them.”
Lizzie’s face had brightened considerably, and she nodded. “Very well, that doesn’t sound very bad.”
Amelia took that as encouragement and continued, “And what if you meet some delightful man?” Lizzie caught her breath, and Amelia raised a hand to calm her. “I’m not talking about this Season or next. You’re young and you should enjoy yourself before you settle yourself into whatever your future entails. But I’m talking about in a few years. What if you meet someone who is handsome and kind, someone who challenges you in the best ways and makes you feel…feel…”
She trailed off, for she realized she was talking about Hugh.
“Amelia, how will he make me feel?” Lizzie asked, dragging her back to the present.
Amelia stared at her, and then the words fell from her mouth. “Like you are home. Home wherever you are with him.”
Lizzie blinked. “There could be such a man?”
“I know there is,” Amelia said. “I know there is for you.”
“I wish I knew so strongly,” Lizzie said.
“You’ll just have to trust me,” Amelia replied, still unsteady from the depth of her feelings being revealed in this conversation. “One final thing to consider, my dear. What if your future is not written in stone, unless you choose to lock yourself up here forever in penance for what some heartless bastard did to you?”
Lizzie stared at her, shock on her face. “I-I hadn’t thought of it that way. Hugh has never pushed me to do it.”
“Of course he hasn’t. He is your protector. He’ll never make you do anything you don’t want to do. Nor will I, but I want you to think about it. Come with us. Enjoy the end of the Season, not in an earthshattering way, but in a small way. It’s a first step, you don’t have to take any of the others just yet.”
“A first step,” Lizzie repeated. “I suppose that isn’t as terrifying as when I think of everything that comes after that first step.”
“And I’ll be with you all the way,” Amelia reminded her.
Lizzie clasped her hands together. “I’ll think about it for an hour or two. And then I’ll let you know.”
“Good,” Amelia said, leaning forward to press a kiss to her cheek. “Whatever you decide, I will support you.”
Lizzie caught Amelia’s hands as she began to move away, and her pale blue eyes were bright with tears. “I’m so glad you married my brother. I’m so happy you’re my sister now and forever.”
Amelia’s throat was thick. She had never had a true family, and it had been a painful thing for her. But now, as she stroked a tear away from Lizzie’s cheek, she felt exactly as she had described to her. Like she was home.
And that was not something she might have found if she had married Aaron Walters as she’d once thought she wanted.
“I’m glad, too,” she said.
Lizzie squeezed her hand and slid from the room. Amelia stood alone for a moment, and then she hurried from the library and down the long, winding halls toward Hugh’s study. Right now she needed to see him. Touch him. Comfort him and let herself be comforted.
She pushed the door open without knocking and found him seated at his large, mahogany desk. He had a quill in hand and he was bent over a ledger, ticking off boxes in a seemingly endless sea of columns. His gaze was very focused and his mouth drawn down in a stern frown.
She froze at the sight. He had smiled so little when she first met him, it had been easy to cast him as a villain. Cold and calculating. But now she understood him better. The man she had married was a serious person, yes. A past where he’d been forced to hide any imperfection and a youth stolen by sudden responsibility had made him so.
But that only made him stronger. He had been through so much and come out the kind of man who would do anything for those he loved. And since he didn’t smile often, when she was able to coax a smile to his lips, that made it more of a triumph.
She saw her life laid out before her in an instant. A life where she would never want for anything, thanks to this man. A life where her mission would be to make his days and nights easier. To love who he loved with the same fierceness he did.
And that sounded like heaven.
“Did you come to gawk at me or talk?” he said, glancing up from the ledger with one of those rare and wicked smiles.
She laughed a little and then reached back to close the door. “I was distracted by gawking, I admit. There is much to gawk at.”
He arched a brow and slowly pushed from the desk to his full height, tracking her every move as she came across the room to him. “I like where this is going,” he drawled.
She reached him, looking up into his dark eyes. Seeing the pain he always carried with him and understanding it all the more after today. She let out her breath in a shuddering sigh and then wrapped her arms around him, holding him tight as she smoothed her hand over his back gently.
His arms came around her after a beat of hesitation and he rested his chin on the crown of her head. For a moment they stood like that, bound in a new way.
“Not that I’m complaining,” he said, his voice muffled in her hair. “But what brought this on?”
She pulled away a fraction and looked up at him once more. “I know about Lizzie, Hugh. I know everything.”
Chapter Eighteen
Hugh jerked from the warm and comforting circle of Amelia’s embrace and staggered back across the room in horror. “What?”
Her eyes went wide and confused at his powerful reaction. “All is well, Hugh—I do not judge her for it, nor you.”
He stared. Did not judge him? How could that be possible when he had deceived her about this very subject?
And then he realized how. Lizzie might have told her something about what had happened to her…
But she hadn’t given Amelia the name of her betrayer.
“She told you about him,” he whispered, his voice sounding harsh in
the quiet room.
“She did. Oh, Hugh, I have never hated another person so much in my life. Your sister is so sweet and so innocent…that some bastard would take advantage in order to access her fortune is beastly.”
He nodded, hardly able to breathe. “Y-yes,” he finally stammered. “She did not say his name to you?”
Amelia shook her head. “No, she did not.”
Hugh caught his breath. He had been lying to this woman, his wife, his love for weeks now. And he’d never wanted to confess what he’d done more than in this unique opportunity.
“Amelia,” he began, shaking from the raw power of his terror at how she would react.
She grabbed for his hand, her warmth seeping into every part of him. “No, Hugh, don’t. Don’t tell me.”
“Why?” he asked.
“Because the fact that she would trust me with such a devastating story means a great deal to me. One day she may wish to give me even more details, and I will be open to hearing them. But in the end, it is her story to share, not mine to investigate or yours to reveal on her behalf.”
He shifted. She was right in one way. In another, he knew so much more than she did. If he told her now, it could destroy them. But he feared if he waited for the truth to come out on some distant day, it would guarantee she would be broken by it.
“Please,” she repeated. “I see how much you want to tell me, but wait. Wait a while and let’s see how she does. I came here not to talk about her experience, but yours. You must have been devastated.”
He jerked out a nod. “Yes,” he whispered, taken back to that horrible day when he’d discovered Lizzie had run off with a bastard of the highest order. “I was frantic.”
“She told me you chased after her, rescued her like a knight in shining armor.” She smiled.
He shook his head. “Not soon enough.”
She held his hand tighter. “Yes, she told me that part, too. I hate that she was used in that way.”
Hugh closed his eyes, conjuring the perfect image of Lizzie when he’d burst into the cottage along the road. Her glassy-eyed expression, her sadness that she had been compromised, was so obvious. So painful.
“I wanted to tear him apart,” he growled, his rage renewed. “I wanted to destroy him down to his very elements. But I couldn’t.”
“I assume he had told others his plan. If he died, they would make sure everyone knew why you had torn him apart,” Amelia said softly.
Hugh looked at her. She was staring at him with such understanding. He didn’t deserve it. Not in the slightest. And yet she gave so freely. She had from the very beginning. Her body, her gentle spirit, her light into his darkness.
“Yes,” he choked out. “If there is one thing that man knows, it is how to protect himself. If I moved on him, he would make sure everyone knew my sister was ruined. If I hurt him, the same. The only way out was to pay him. A horrible, ugly, obscene payment that then allowed him to look like he belonged in good Society. And I could do nothing.” He dropped his head. “I hate myself for it and for the consequences it brought to bear.”
She reached for him again, sliding her arms around his waist and resting her head on his chest. “You have suffered, I can see. And I assume alone.”
He nodded. “There was no way to explain my upset without revealing Lizzie’s secret. I couldn’t tell anyone. It was only recently that I said something to Lucas and Diana.”
She hugged him tighter. “And now me.”
He smoothed his hands over the silky softness of her dark hair, and the feel of it soothed him a fraction. “Yes,” he whispered. “And now you.”
She gazed up at him. “Hugh, look at me. You are a good brother. She is lucky to have you.”
“I had one job in this world and it was to protect her. I failed.”
“That is your father talking,” she said, her gaze soft and filled with empathy and understanding. “Telling you there is only one path to success. Lizzie is alive. She is here with you, not married off to some cruel bastard who would use her. And she still has a future laid out in front of her. You have not failed. What happened wasn’t your fault.”
She leaned up and he met her lips halfway. She was gentle, as if he was delicate or needed her protection. And he did. In that moment, it felt like this wonderful woman was all that held him up. So he let her, clinging to her as all those old fears and heartbreaks washed over him and tugged him into a hundred pieces.
At last she drew away and smiled up at him. And once again, he knew that he had to tell her the truth. When she offered him such respite, to lie would not be fair.
“Amelia,” he began, holding her closer so that he would remember what her arms felt like if his confession made her flee.
“Yes?”
“I need to tell you—”
He didn’t get to finish the sentence. Before he could, the door to the study opened and Lizzie stepped inside. She blushed as she saw them in each other’s arms and turned away with a gasp. “Oh, I’m so sorry,” she said, her gaze down. “I’m so sorry.”
Amelia extracted herself from his embrace gently and moved to her. “No need to apologize, my dear. Your brother and I were just having a talk. What is it?”
“I know I said I needed an hour or two to consider your thoughts,” Lizzie said, lifting her gaze to Amelia at last. “But I’ve come to a decision.”
“A decision?” he repeated. “What were you deciding?”
Amelia turned on him with a warm smile. “Lizzie and I were talking earlier about her going back to London with us tomorrow, rather than staying here.”
He could not control the shock that flowed over his face. Lizzie had been adamant about not wanting anything to do with a future that included London. Nothing he’d said had budged her from her position, and eventually he had given up, hoping time would soften her.
Instead, it was ten days in the company of Amelia that did it. It seemed she brought light to both their lives.
“Yes,” Lizzie said, watching him carefully. “I realize I have been reticent.”
He nodded. “You have, though I never judged you for that.”
“Of course you didn’t. You’re Hugh.” She exchanged a look with Amelia like that was some kind of private joke between them, and his wife smiled in return. “But I also realize how much it worries you that I will not go. So…” She drew a long breath. “I think I will accompany you.”
Amelia rushed forward and hugged his sister as she gushed, “Oh, that is wonderful, darling! I’m so pleased that you’ll come with us. We’ll have such a time together.”
Hugh saw Lizzie’s hesitance, but also her determination to overcome her fears. She had so much more strength than she believed. He could only hope she’d one day see it.
“I will go and start the arrangements,” Amelia said, “and send word ahead of us so that your chamber in London is prepared.” She glanced at the siblings with a bright smile. “I’m so very happy.”
She darted from the room, calling out for Masters as her voice faded down the hallway. Hugh smiled at Lizzie now that they were alone.
“Are you happy?” he asked. “You aren’t just doing this to please Amelia or to please me, are you?”
Lizzie sighed. “Wanting to please Amelia has become a very large drive for me.”
It was the same for him, though perhaps in very different ways. “But?”
“But I know it’s time,” Lizzie said with a shrug. “And Amelia said some things that helped me see that I cannot live my life in fear, can I?”
“No, I would not like to see you do that,” he said. “She says you told her about…about Walters.”
Lizzie dropped her gaze before she nodded slowly. “I did. I hope you aren’t angry. I just feel so close to her, and it was so nice to be able to tell a friend…a sister. Especially since she was so kind about it.”
“I could never be angry with you about it, Lizzie. As Amelia said to me earlier
, it is your story to tell or not tell as you see fit. That you trust and like my wife enough to share it warms my heart. It makes me think that our family could be stronger than ever now that Amelia is in it.”
Lizzie nodded swiftly. “Oh yes, I feel the same way. I adore her, Hugh. And not just because she is kind and funny and so very smart. I like her because of what I see in you when you’re together.”
“And what is that?”
“It’s hard to explain.” Lizzie paced the room. “It’s almost like a weight gets lifted from you when she comes into your orbit. You smile more and you watch her like she’s the most important thing in the world. You’re…happy.”
He bent his head. That was the most apt description she could have said to describe how he felt when he looked at Amelia. “I am happy,” he said. “I have much work to do. I have…things to tell her that may mar our happiness, but it must be done. It must be.”
“Things?” Lizzie asked with concern. “Such as?”
He patted her hand. “Nothing to trouble yourself over, I promise. But I do want to ask you one thing.”
She nodded. “Anything in the world, you know that.”
“Yes, I do. When you told Amelia about Walters, you didn’t tell her his name.”
Lizzie tensed. “No. I hate to say it. It’s like poison on my lips.”
He frowned. “I’m sorry, so sorry. But will you…will you not tell her?”
She wrinkled her brow. “Wh-why?”
He sighed. If he said the truth to Lizzie, it would hurt her almost as much as it would hurt Amelia. And he owed his wife the truth first, at any rate. “I’ll explain another time. For now, please just trust that it will be better if I tell her. I’ll do it once we’re settled back in London. I have so much to say once that day comes.”
Lizzie seemed to consider the request for a moment, but then she nodded. “Of course, Hugh. If you think it would be better, I leave it to you to tell her whatever you think is important. I don’t pretend to understand, but I trust you.”
The Duke Who Lied Page 17
