"Yes?"
"D-don't...D-don't leave me..." her fingers flexed, reaching for him.
"Tell me what you know and I'll make it better...I promise." He was by her side, caressing her flushed cheeks in mock tenderness. He delivered the kiss with such deftness that Maddie slowly burned when he finally pulled away. "Tell me what I want to know." He asked softly, his warm breath tickling her ear.
Desperately searching her memory for something Ellie might’ve told her, Maddie’s eyes lit up as she thought of something. "She told me she keeps an online journal. Its private, but I have the password."
She did not notice the triumphant gleam in Nicholas’s eyes and as he ravaged her mouth once more. She forgot all else, but the sensations he made her feel.
Chapter Three
Ellie said goodbye to the last customers of the night and began to clear their table. She grabbed the twenty dollar tip they'd left behind and smiles as carted the plates to the kitchen. Tonight had been a good night, filled with generous tippers, fast service from the kitchen and service staff and relatively happy customers. On her knees inside the booth she wiped down the table and neatly arranged the condiments against the wall. She was fastidious in her cleaning efforts. Satisfied with her results, she headed to the kitchen, where Kelly and Nina were fast at work on the dishes. While they took care of that, Ellie finished any last minute clean up and counted their tips, making sure everyone clocked out on time.
It took them all, including Peter, Jason and Holly fifteen minutes to vacate the premises and another five for Ellie to lock everything down and enter the security code. As they'd done countless nights before, Peter and Jason made sure all the girls were safely inside their cars before they took their leave. Ellie was the last to be escorted. She thanked them and waved goodbye from the safety and warmth of the Ridgeline.
It was past midnight by the time she pulled out of the parking lot. She was bone-weary, the fatigue branching out through every inch of her. Her feet ached, throbbed even and she realized she was developing painful knots across her shoulders. At the red light she rolled her shoulders in the attempt to sooth the aches away, but only ended up making it worse. Maybe a hot shower and a good night's sleep would do her some good. Oh, and maybe sneak in a little kiss and hug from Sophie before she hit the sack. Now that would be heaven.
Merging onto the highway, she smiled at the thought of her daughter. She'd been unsuccessful in persuading Ellie to stay home this time around with her crocodile tears, but Ellie had promised her a full day of fun on Sunday.
Ellie hated how she had little time for her and it killed her every time she left Sophie, but such was the life of an adult. She had her responsibilities. Like it or not, they both had to sacrifice sometimes. With a weary sigh, Ellie silently took comfort in the fact that she could at least spend the weekends with Sophie. She lived for those weekends.
She yawned and reached a hand out to the radio. She needed music to keep her awake, otherwise she'd end up in a ditch somewhere. She was switching radio stations when her cell rang. She grabbed it from the cup holder, where she'd left it to charge and put it to her ear, figuring it was Gabe calling to check in on her.
"I'm almost home---"
"Hey, Ells." Ellie almost dropped the phone.
"How did you get my number?"
There was a chuckle, soft, sexy. "I have my ways." She knew all too well that he did. Tony Carlyle was anything, if not resourceful.
"Lose my number." She wanted to hang up, but his next words quickly put a halt to her actions.
"I missed you. I miss, Sophie." Those damn words and the sincerity behind them stopped her. "I want to see my two favorite girls."
"Don't play games with me, Tone."
"I'm not playing, Ells. I missed you both so much."
"Fine, you miss your daughter, get in touch with my lawyer and talk about visitation rights, you and I have nothing…"
"I've been clean for a year, Ells. My parents sent me to some high priced rehab center after you left, and it's been a fucked up road, but I'm clean."
Ellie had to pull over, or she would've gotten herself killed. "So what? You want a goddamn trophy from me?"
"Nah, just hearing your voice is enough of a reward for me." Damn him! She merged into the breakdown lane and cut the engine.
"I'm not the stupid naïve girl you knocked up three years ago, Tone. You must be out of your mind if you think I'm going to let you back in my life. Like I said, you want to see Sophie, get in touch with my lawyer and talk it over with him. Don't call me again." She flipped the phone shut, her anger allowing her to do so without an ounce of remorse. She dropped her head to the steering wheel and let out a strangled scream.
Damn him! Her hands shook and she had to bite down on her lip to stop it from trembling. She wasn't going to cry! He wasn't worth her tears. But even as she told herself those exact words, the tears came.
It was just like Tony. Selfish, heroin addict, smooth talking, Tony.
Anthony "Tone" Carlyle had been Ellie's first everything. Her first lover. Her first dealer. Her first rapist. Her first abuser. She and her child had almost died by his hands. She'd been pregnant and he'd been ruthless. She'd been so young. So naïve. So in love. She had never refused him anything, but that night she could take no more. She'd been beaten black and blue for it.
Tony, who had plied her with so much drugs and alcohol that she couldn't remember a time when she'd ever been lucid around him, wanted back in her life. The same Tony who had sold her for a few pieces of rock and watched in a drugged stupor as his dealers had their way with her, wanted back in her life.
Ellie struggled with the door, threw it open and retched. Her late afternoon lunch splattered on the gray asphalt. It burned her throat and coated her mouth in bitterness. The memories of her past, vivid, harsh and sordid danced a fluid ballet through her mind, reminding her again that she wasn't as clean as she wanted to believe. Tony's call only fit to remind her of what she so easily forgot. She was damaged goods. Soiled. He'd done a number on her and was back to finish the job.
Like hell. Her mind protested, fortifying her with strength. She'd worked hard to get this far. She had bled sweat and tears to become who she was. There was no way in hell she was going to let Tony take that away from her. No way in hell.
She was feeling remotely better so she closed her door and started the engine. She needed to go home. She could talk to Gabe and they would figure this out together.
Three years ago
The night she met the enigmatic Tony Carlyle was the night the attention starved Ellie believed she’d finally found love. She'd been a virgin raver. A school friend, Frankie, had convinced her to go. Anxious to escape the tight reins of her morally righteous parents, Ellie had sneaked out. Under the guise of night, she'd run down the silent suburban streets ten minutes past midnight and readily jumped into the black Hummer awaiting her a block away from her house.
It had been psychedelic lights, sexually charged music and a mass of prurient teenagers mating to the driving beats. She remembered how liberated she'd felt. Beneath the scope of laser lights and thick smoky air, she'd been anything but Bishop Holbrook's staid and 'perfect' daughter.
She'd acted like the whore of Babylon. She danced like one of Dionysus nymphs. She gave herself to the music and took pleasure in the way it made her feel. Sexy. Desirable. And when Tone had approached her, led her to his car and took her to his loft, she been all too willing. He'd been so gentle. Tender. Holding her, kissing her, loving her as he made her feels things no one else ever had.
Tone had been so intense. So mature. So perfect. He’d had all the qualities of a perfect boyfriend and Ellie had believed she'd hit the jackpot. She began to live for him. Live for those drawn out moments of ecstasy induced sex, heroin dreams of forever and Tone's wheedling voice promising her the world. She even ran away from home and took permanent lodgings in his spacious loft.
Poisonous ambrosial cocktails became the thing. S
he became lost in his world. She lived off his words. Tone's every wish was Ellie's command. She would've leapt a field if he'd asked her to do so. When Tone grew lonesome and told her to skip school and stay with him, Ellie enthusiastically skipped days to be by his side. When Tone had parties and he had them almost every night, she played the drugged out hostess for him and his friends.
Everything became routine. Get high. Get fucked by Tone. Go clubbing. Get fucked by Johns. They provided the loot and Tone provided the ass. When it became too much and sanity returned for a brief moment, Ellie had wanted no more of it. Tone, however, always managed to coax her back.
He lied so beautifully. When she'd found out she was pregnant, Ellie had wanted to stop, truly she had, the dangers of what the drugs posed to her child had been a real fear for her. A constant fear. But how could she stop when temptation was all around her? Temptation she'd almost died for, when weeks later Tone had discovered that she'd taken his last stash.
"I---I only wanted a little pick me up." This had been her pitiful excuse. Tone however hadn't wanted any excuses and his fist and feet had spoken loudly enough in admonishing her for her stupidity.
When he'd finished, Ellie had been on the floor, fetal, hacking up bile, broken and bruised. "Oh baby, look at you, baby, oh, God! I'm so sorry! Ells!" He'd knelt by her side, ignorant of the rejected contents on the floor. He'd pulled Ellie's shuddering body to his and sobbed along with her. His apologies perfuming the already fetid air.
The following morning, when Tone had been out dealing, Ellie had packed a bag of clothes and left his world without a word.
When Dina Holbrook next saw her child, she did not resemble the same vibrant girl she remembered. The emaciated, badly bruised girl who stood at her door claiming to be her Eleanor looked on the verge of death.
"Hi mom," she’d croaked, her smile, more grimace than anything, looked as though it hurt. "Can---can I come home?" Her voice barely rising above a hush had instantly brought tears to Dina's eyes. She’d enveloped her daughter in a fierce hug and did not let go until Ellie cried out.
"Come," Dina had urged, grabbing the duffel bag while patiently ushering her daughter inside. "Let's get you cleaned up."
The road to recovery, when it’d arrived, had been plagued with insomnia, muscle pains, vomiting and painful cravings that had had Ellie scratching her skin raw just to alleviate the need. It hadn't been easy. Each step she'd taken had her second guessing whether she'd done the right thing. Whether running back to Tone and begging for forgiveness wouldn't have been easier than dealing with condescending therapists and self-righteous, overbearing bishops---her father included---who’d believed that this was her punishment for her diverted path. Her immoral path.
Her mother had remained a constant light in her eternally dark and arduously long tunnel of grief. She'd given Ellie the silent support she needed on days when hope had been sparse. She'd taken a silent vigil by her bedside during those endless nights when suicide had seemed like the perfect answer. Her mother held her hands and prayed with her, had given her the bible from which they read from each night Ellie's body had been able. Dina had been there, day and night to make sure that Ellie didn't relapse and when she'd been well enough to finally take her home from the rehabilitation center, Dina had continued to stay by her daughter's side.
It wasn't until Ellie had told her of her impending motherhood that she'd recoiled slightly. Months of disappointment finally leaked through the crack of her beautiful toffee hued mask. The slap across the face had been unexpected, but Ellie had remained silent, refusing to cry. She owed her mother this, she'd silently told herself.
"How can you be so stupid? Fifteen, Eleanor! You're only fifteen!" Her mother had sobbed then. The force of her cries shaking her petite frame while her hands covered her face. Kneeling at Ellie’s bedside, she’d wept for the lost innocence of her little girl and all the things it encompassed. When Ellie had gone to her, needing to provide comfort, her mother had recoiled from her touch. The look in her hazel eyes telling of the aching disappointment she felt.
That look alone had hurt more than anything Ellie could’ve ever experienced. It was then she knew she would never be the same in her mother’s eyes. The realization had evoked silent tears.
"How could you do this to me?" Her mother had always been a fragile thing who didn't deal well with problems. Her father had always made sure to protect her from her own shadow. The gravity of her daughter's pregnancy had almost been her undoing.
"I'm so sorry, Mom." And she truly had been. She'd never meant for any of this to happen.
"You'll abort it." Phillip Holbrook said with finality. His pale features set in stone, his hulking frame looming over Ellie.
"I won't." Father and daughter, so stubborn, so unwilling to compromise glared at each other. They were caught in a battle of wills. They were so much alike. Both had such strong personalities, neither willing to budge.
"You will do as I say, Eleanor, or you will leave my home."
"Phillip!" Dina ran to her husband's side in seconds, pleading with him to relent. "Phillip, please---"
"NO!" he roared, his voice booming. "I will no longer tolerate her defiance! Because of her loose ways, we can no longer hold our heads up in church. She has sullied our good name for the last time! No more! Abort that child or I expect you to be packed and out of here by this evening." He stalked away, but his echoing words remained.
"For heaven's sakes, Eleanor!" Dina stooped down and framed her daughter's face. "You are not ready to be a mother. This will only bring you grief. You must do as your father says."
Ellie evenly met her mother's fiery gaze. "I won't kill my child, Mom. You can't ask me to do that." She said quietly, with a calm she did not feel.
Dina released her face and stepped away. "Then you must pack your things." She spun around stiffly following in her husband's wake, tears coursing down her face.
Ellie stole her parents' credit card the following day and bought herself a one way train ticket to Cedar Falls, leaving her parents and her old life behind. She embarked on her new path a few months wiser and took the lessons she'd learned for what they were.
Sophie's cries awoke Ellie from her restless slumber. She was out of her bed in seconds making sure to grab her navy blue robe on her way out. She ran into the room adjacent to her own, turning on the light, Ellie was able to see Sophie and her flailing limbs inside her crib.
Ellie immediately scooped her up. She cradled her child’s head to her shoulder and ran soothing circles across her back. "It's okay, now sweetie, Mama’s here." Worry quickly overcame Ellie as she felt Sophie’s fevered skin against her cheek. "Shhh, baby, I’ve got you." Sophie’s fitful cries continued despite her mother’s efforts. Ellie was mildly of aware of Gabe in the room but her attention remained on her daughter.
"Run her a lukewarm bath, Gabe, while I give her some medicine." Gabe sprang into action the minute Ellie finished her request. Sophie's cries lulled to mewling whimpers after Ellie coaxed the medicine into her mouth.
Gabe spun off the taps once the porcelain tub was full and scooted over the other edge as Ellie gently climbed in, clothes and all, with Sophie. With the utmost care, Ellie sluiced water over Sophie's caramel skin, her small body cradled on her mother’s lap. Ellie dropped a kiss on her tawny head and allowed Sophie to play with her yellow ducky.
Seemingly in a world of their own, mother and daughter appeared perfectly content to remain exactly where they were, within each other's company. Never one to intrude, Gabe silently stood and let them be.
With a faint smile, Gabe watched Ellie make her way downstairs, the weight of the world seemingly poised on slight shoulders. He made room for her on the couch sure that she needed his comfort now more than ever. She settled against him with a wearied sigh and like those nights years ago when she’d first arrived at his home, Gabe wrapped an arm around her shoulders and waited patiently.
"Tone called." He made a nondescript noise but remained
silent, knowing that there was more. "It sounded so good to hear from him." she admitted guiltily.
"I can imagine."
"He said he was clean now and... he wanted to see us. Soph and me."
"What was your answer?"
Ellie sighed, absentmindedly playing with the cross hanging from the golden chain around Gabe’s neck "I said yes, but only if he spoke to my lawyer."
"You think you can handle it?" he looked down, his gaze silently assessing. He knew the story. Gabe also knew his goddaughter and though not licensed to be making any psychological assumption, he knew that Ellie wasn't ready to face the father of her child. Her reaction hours earlier, when she'd arrived home from the restaurant had glaringly proven that fact. She'd been so shaken and jittery that it was all he could do not to scream at her to knock it the hell off.
"Part of me says yes, get it over and done with and get some closure. But the other part of me still shakes from the thought of seeing him again. I don't trust myself not to fall down that path again. Especially with him so near me."
"You have grown and accomplished so much in such a little time. You’ve worked so hard to get where you are now. The homeschooling, Sophie and your jobs. You’ve been so determined to better yourself these last few years that you can’t begin to imagine how proud I am of you. Don’t underestimate yourself, Ellie. I sure as hell don’t. Tony Carlyle is beneath you, he has no power over you.”
Left momentarily stunned by his fevered words, Ellie glanced at him in stunned silence. Gabe rolled his eyes at Ellie's expression, but grinned nevertheless. This was probably the most Ellie had heard him speak. He tended to run more on the monosyllabic answers.
Beautiful Disaster (The Bet) Page 4
