Maddie folded her arms across her chest, "You're not even in the same league as them."
Nicholas frowned and carded a hand through his hair, "You're not making this easy."
"I'm not trying to."
Nicholas sighed, trying to remember exactly why the hell he was doing this. He was remorseful, he felt guilty. Ellie would think him a better person.
Ellie.
A smiled tugged at the corners of his lips. Since the day of the picnic, things had taken a surprising turn. Things changed so remarkably, so much so that his friends were beginning to wonder what the hell was wrong with him. Thing was, Nicholas couldn’t give them an answer because even he didn’t know. What he did know was that being around Ellie did things to him; things he hadn't felt since he was five, things he didn't dare hope to ever feel again.
The best way he could even begin to describe what he felt when he was around both Ellie and Sophie, was to liken it to sticking a fork in an outlet and receiving bolts of surging electricity that supercharged every cell in his body. It was nerve-wracking really how with just one smile from either mother or daughter, the carefully built wall he'd constructed ages ago cracked inch by inch. Any longer and soon, Nicholas had no doubt that he'd be a lovelorn sap, with his heart on his sleeve, where it would present Ellie a perfect target.
He sighed again, regarding the red-haired girl across from him and saw, beneath the layer of anger, her grief. Grief that he'd caused her. It pained him to look directly into her eyes because he hated to see the sorrow there. He hated that she'd fallen for him, felt even sorrier that she had, because he'd known it for so long now and had deliberately used her emotions to get what he wanted. Nicholas looked at her and things fell into perspective, breaking the illusion that he could be anything but the sort of person who callously hurt people. He wasn't a good guy. But when he was around Ellie the illusion seemed so real. It made him believe that for just a fleeting moment he could be the guy she wanted him to be. But the reality was that things didn't happen that way.
"Look Maddie, I'm really sorry for what I did to you. I could give you reasons why I did it, but we'll both know that would be making excuses and I'm not about that right now. You didn't deserve the shit I put you through and I'm sincerely sorry for making you cry."
Maddie’s lip quivered and she berated herself for the oncoming tears, rapidly blinking them away before they could fall. "You---you--" she swallowed, desperately attempting to compose herself. "You really hurt me. I---I thought---" she swallowed again, sobbing when Nicholas embraced her. She buried her head in his chest, clinging onto his sweater with a tight fist.
"I'm sorry, Maddie." And truly he was. Her sobs were like a battering ram to his emotions. He whispered his regret into her hair, holding her close. A scant few people walked past them, some diffidently looking their way to see what was happening, while others boldly glared at him, assuming he'd hurt her somehow. Nicholas ignored them all, Maddie’s sorrow taking the whole of his attention.
"You were a real jerk." Nicholas heard the muffled insult an eternity later and smiled.
"The biggest." He good-naturedly agreed as Maddie raised her head from his chest.
Captivated by the boyish grin on his face, Maddie's heart fluttered and hope foolishly flooded her marrow, her thoughts running away with her. She beamed at him, slid her hands to his shoulders and rose on her toes to press a kiss to his mouth.
Nicholas's eyes remained opened, crossing slightly in his attempt to peer down at Maddie, whose eyes were tightly shut. He brought his hands to her arms to gently push her away.
Maddie glanced at him, face alight with joy as she slowly licked her lips with a shy smile. "I missed doing that." She murmured. "I can't wait to do that…and more." Her face bloomed violent red.
Nicholas took a step back, inwardly cursing. He hadn't expected this, maybe he should've, maybe then he wouldn't have been taken so off guard. "Maddie, we're…I'm sorry if I made you believe that this was more than an offer of friendship."
Maddie frowned, pressing her fingers to her mouth, "Friendship…but you kissed me!" she said distraughtly, staring up at him with accusing eyes, wounded eyes. "You kissed me." She whispered brokenly.
Overlooking the fact that she'd been the one to initiate the kiss and he'd hardly done any sort of kissing in turn, Nicholas attempted to placate her, not exactly sure of what else to do. "I just want to be friends, Maddie."
"But I love you!" her bottom lip quivered. "I love you so fucking much it hurts! Please," she fisted the front of his shirt desperately, clutching it for all she worth. "Please say that you want me too, Nicky. Please..." she didn't care if she was making a fool of herself. She didn't care that her pride lay in tatters at her feet. Desperation blinded her. Love blinded her.
Nicholas mournfully shook his head. "I---I can't, I'm sorry." His chest constricted at the sight of her broken expression.
"Why? Is it because of Ellie? What the hell is so fucking special about her? Huh? Answer me!" She pushed him and he stumbled back, indignation flashing in her eyes. "She isn't even going to put out for you and you're mooning over her like some love sick puppy! Tell me Nicky, have you gotten some time to tell her about your little game since becoming her best friend? No? Well maybe I should tell her, lay all your fucking shit bare and see what she has to say about it."
Silver eyes hardened to diamond gray slits, the sudden dark expression on his face shocking Maddie into silence. "Don't threaten me, Maddie." He said very slowly.
Maddie swiped the tears from her cheeks. "She's going to find out. If not by me, then by someone else and when she does I hope she hurts you just as badly as you’ve hurt me." Her voice was eerily calm now, a far cry from the unrestrained shrill it had been seconds ago.
"Not before I tell her." Nicholas woodenly turned around and walked away, Maddie's bleak words unsettling him.
Maddie pushed the bathroom door open, ran to a sink and emptied the contents of her stomach, which wasn't much, just the blue Gatorade she'd drunk before her heat earlier. She forced the taps open numbly watched as the diluted blue liquid swirled around the sink, before disappearing down the drain. She cupped her hands beneath the running water and splashed cold water on her face. She knew how pathetic she looked and so avoided looking in the mirror on her way to the hand dryer.
Feeling relatively human again, she exited the bathroom, heading back to the gym, now, more than ready to go home and hide away from the world.
"You Ok?"
Maddie looked over her shoulder, stopping short. "Are you talking to me?"
She gave him the once-over and could only surmise the man to be the Devil's incarnate. Everything about him was so devilishly charged and menacing that it drew Maddie in as much as it repelled her. He was incredibly hot. Not Nicholas hot, but he had a sort of dark sensual magnetism that was just as strong as Nicholas's.
His hair was midnight black and it fell in uneven layers around his head. He had a face that was not easily forgotten and within that face were a pair of impenetrable obsidian eyes, so dark that it induced an involuntary shudder in Maddie. His athletic build was encased in a black turtleneck sweater, a pair of black slacks and matching Doc Martins.
He approached her, a sympathetic smile on his face. "Yeah, I saw what happened earlier with your boyfriend...I just wanted to know if you were all right."
It was none of his damn business and she had every intention of telling him so, but instead Maddie shrugged. "What if I told you I wasn't, what would do?" she challenged.
"I don't know, maybe ask if you wanted to get a cup of coffee and see if you wanted to talk about it." He said smoothly, lifting his shoulders in nonchalance, "Or not talk, whichever."
If her ego hadn't been so bruised, Maddie could've sworn she was being hit on. Fortunately for her, she had just about enough of men for today, especially dark-haired men. "Thanks, but no thanks."
"It's his loss." He called after her and Maddie foolishly spun around. "If he doesn't k
now what a great catch you are, then screw him."
"I already did," she murmured bitterly. "What the hell do you know anyway? You don't know me enough to make that assumption."
"I know people...and I know that you didn't deserve that."
"Whatever, I'll live. Thanks for the pep talk---I didn't catch your name?"
He stepped closer and extended his hand with a smile. "Tony, Tony Carlyle."
"I'm Maddie. Thanks again for the talk, I'll see you around."
"Count on it." Tony whispered as he watched her walk away.
"So how goes it with the newest prey?" Chase Lyman, drunk off his ass and irritating the hell out of Nicholas, plopped down beside him and made his inquiry over the hip hop music blaring from the surround sound system.
It was a typical Friday night at Matt’s house with rarely any parental supervision, endless amounts of alcohol and horny teenagers, it presented a perfect recipe for decadence; a virtual orgy of depravity that once upon a time Nicholas would’ve reveled in.
Before, he would've been sitting right there with Matt and the rest of the guys, participating in their inane drinking games, but now he felt oddly detached from it all. After spending nights with Ellie and Sophie doing nothing more than watching a movie or helping each other with homework, Nicholas found that this paled in comparison. The alcohol, the drugs, the girls, it all seemed so sordid now. He looked around and he felt like a spectator, watching himself attempt to have fun. He raised the beer bottle to his lips and took a long gulp washing down the sudden need to call Ellie and see how she was doing. Two o'clock in the morning, she was probably sleeping anyway.
"Yeah, I heard about your latest challenge. How's that going for you?" The captain of John Edgar's undefeated lacrosse team, Dominick Kingston, sat on the other side of him with his own bottle of beer in his hand.
Nicholas tapped the end of his cigarette in the ashtray and leaned back on the couch. "Better than your relationship with your girl." He nodded his head to where a very drunk Evey was sandwiched between two hulking guys, grinding her mini clad ass against them.
"Man, if I had a girl who gave it up as easy as Eves does, I'd have her ass on the fucking internet, paying for my car accessories." said Chase eyes glued to the simulated sex scene going on a few feet away from them.
"Whatever, I'm done with her anyway. She can be with whoever the hell she wants. Not that it stopped her when we were together." Nicholas had nothing against Dom. Hell, he liked the guy a hell of a lot more than the other morons around them. He just wished Dom had better sense when dating girls.
"Nicky, man, quit holding out on us. You fucked that black chic yet? Was she good? Give me her number. I've been dying to hit that nice round---" Chase did not get the chance to finish his sentence because Nicholas's fist smashing into his face prevented him from doing so.
Seeing Nicholas descend upon Chase, ready to land a few more blows, had Dom springing into action, quickly holding Nicholas back. The attempt like holding a rampaging bull. The noise around them died a slow death as everyone around turned to look at them.
"What the fuck is your deal?" Chase roared as he nursed his bruised jaw.
Nicholas wrenched his arms from Dom's hold and advanced on Chase, his expression ominous as rainclouds. "Go anywhere near her and I'll feed you your balls." The eyes of many followed in his wake as he made his exit.
"Nicky!" Refusing to turn around, Nicholas continued his trek down the cobble stoned pathway.
"Hey, Nicholas, man, wait up! Grayson!" Nicholas only stopped because Matt took hold of his arm, spinning him around. "Mind telling me what the fuck is up?"
He pulled his arm from Matt's grasp with a frustrated sigh, regarding his friend of so many years with a frown. "I don’t know what the fuck is up.” He said after a moment, raking a hand through his hair. “but I’m starting to think I’m over my head on this one.”
Matt witnessed the range of emotions playing across Nicholas's face and he honestly wasn't sure whether to worry or to share in Nicholas's frustration. He couldn't say he hadn't noticed the changes over the past weeks. Nicholas's uncharacteristic behavior tonight only proved Matt's suspicions. It was a feat in itself getting a rise out of Nicholas, who was usually so cavalier about everything. He didn't care about much, therefore, making him angry wasn't something easily done. The fact that he'd almost pummeled Chase to a bloody pulp a few minutes ago was disturbing. "Come on, Nicky, talk to me. We're best friends and you've been keeping shit from me. What's up?"
Nicholas's hands clenched and unclenched at his side. Shaking his head, he sighed again. "That's just it. I don't know what the hell is going on. I---She's fucking with my head and I can't get her out."
Matt's befuddled expression melted to disbelief. "The new girl?"
"Ellie."
Matt's eyes widened, "Oh…Oh man!" he clapped Nicholas on the shoulder, hysterical laughter burbling to the surface. "This…This is one for the books! I never thought I'd see the day!" he doubled over and Nicholas fought the urge to hit him.
"Shut up!" Seeing that he'd obviously made a mistake in sharing his feeling with his supposed best friend, Nicholas hopped on his bike and revved the engine.
"This is some priceless shit, Grayson. Man, I'm stunned, really, you've just proven the impossible. And I think somewhere Hell just froze over."
"Fuck you, Bates."
"Oh come on, Nicky, don't be such a bitch, come back and we'll drink to your happiness!" He called to Nicholas's disappearing back, his motorcycle zooming down the steep hill.
Click!
Clack!
Click!
Lifting her head from her pillow, Ellie looked at her window and sure enough, another pebble clicked against the glass. Instantly she was out of bed, rubbing the sleep from her eyes as she glanced at the digital clock on her nightstand and frowned. Who in their right mind would be waking her up at such an ungodly hour?
She reached over to the table lamp and clicked it on, then stood, walking over to her window. She looked down at the moonlit backyard and saw---no one.
"What the hell?" she knew she hadn't imagined the noise. Ellie shook her head and headed back to bed, but the large shadow perched in the tree by her window prevented her from doing so. She grabbed the nearest object she could find which ended up being a crystal paperweight from her desk; she cautiously approached the window and jumped back. With a squeak she saw Nicholas's face come into view. She quickly unlocked the latch on the bay window, allowing Nicholas entrance.
"Are you crazy? Do you have any idea what time it is?" Ellie harshly whispered once Nicholas was in her room.
"Couldn't sleep." He whispered back as if it were the most natural thing in the world to say. "What were you going to do with that?" he smirked at the crystal paperweight tightly clutched in her small hands.
"Beat you to death."
Nicholas grinned, taking a slow perusal of her appearance. Her flannel pajama shorts stopped about mid-thigh revealing smooth honey toned legs that looked tempting enough to lick. Her dainty little feet were covered by fuzzy pink toe-socks; the slight wiggle of those toes widened his grin.
As his gaze trailed up, Nicholas lost his smile and swallowed, his throat suddenly thirsting for more than water. She was all flawless shimmering skin beneath the waxing beams of moonlight filtering in through the diaphanous curtains of her window. The spaghetti strapped shirt she wore revealed nothing and yet, revealed everything to his roving eyes. Nicholas never knew that shoulders and arms could be so sexy.
He could tell by the outline of her shirt that her breasts were pert and vaguely, he wondered how her nipples would taste.
The heat of his gaze burned along Ellie’s skin and she flushed. "Stop looking at me like that," she said indignantly.
"Like what?" She unintentionally drew Nicholas to her. A paradox of demureness and vulnerability that at times gave way to poise and spunkiness had Nicholas deliberating with himself as whether to kiss her until they were both breathle
ss or protect her from the world and himself.
He was always so captivated by the way she drew her bottom lip between her perfect teeth when she was nervous, or the way those hazel eyes held him hostage until all he wanted to do was take her in his arms and do unspeakable things to her. He stood close to her now, nearly within touching distance and breathed in the intoxicating scent of her, eucalyptus and mint. He'd only had one beer at the party and yet Nicholas felt as though he'd imbibed an entire keg, getting drunk off her scent.
"Like what, Ellie?" Nicholas's hand latched onto Ellie's wrist and drew her near and rested his forehead against hers.
"Nicky..." she said warily, warning bells were blaring in Ellie's mind. Bombs were going off every second she allowed herself to remain so close to him.
"You don't know how hard I'm trying not to kiss you right now..." There goes the bedroom voice, Ellie inwardly thought.
"Good, I don't want you to kiss me..." Liar! "We're supposed to be friends...friends don't kiss each other..."
"What if I want more than that?"
"I can't, Nicholas." she breathed, her eyes falling shut as she leaned into his touch. His hand whispered along her cheek, creeping to her neck to finally find home in her unbound hair.
It would be so easy. So easy to just give in. Not once, in the last three years had she gotten so close to throwing inhibition out the window. Ellie wanted this. She wanted him.
"I can't." she whispered again, not sure who she was denying more, herself or what Nicholas so sweetly offered. Opening her eyes, she pulled away from his touch, sure that if she remained, she would betray more than the promise she’d made herself so long. "Friendship, Nicholas, is all I can offer you. I told you that from the very beginning.” She said candidly not realizing how much she needed his understanding. “I'm not ready to give you more than that. I'm not going to betray myself for one night of passion with you." She licked her lips and softly smiled, "No matter how tempting it is." Ellie stood on her toes and pressed her lips to the corner of Nicholas's sensuous mouth. "And I forgive you for trying to seduce me." she stepped away, heading to her closet.
Beautiful Disaster (The Bet) Page 9
