"Okay."
Nicholas' concentration was obsolete as he silently worked out the sketch right above her shoulder blade. "Ok, now comes the hard part," Ellie clenched her bottom lip between her teeth and mutely nodded. "I'll start with just a line and see how that feels for you, Ok?"
"Yeah." She breathed.
The minute the buzzing needle touched her skin, Ellie jumped. "Stay calm, babe and trust me to not hurt you?"
She looked at him and her nerves deflated. "I trust you."
It hurt like hell, and Ellie kept her hands and eyes clenched shut the entire time, but the end result was sheer perfection.
The small image of a green and black dragonfly seemed to pop from Ellie's flesh it looked so real. There was the distinct mixture of white overtones he'd applied that made it seem as if the dragonfly's wings were translucent and could flap right off of Ellie's shoulder.
As Ellie admired her tattoo, Nicholas came to stand behind him, their eyes locked in the mirror. "Do you like it?"
Ellie turned around. "I love it." She didn't know what prompted her to do what she did, simply that she couldn’t imagine herself doing anything else.
She’d never initiated a kiss before, but emboldened by the spark she saw in his eyes, she snaked her arms around his neck and pressed her lips to his.
Nicholas groaned with desperation. The urgent need to reign in his lust had him clenching his hands at his sides. Everything in him incited him to hold her close and give in to his baser instincts, plunder what he knew was rightfully his. But his mind held him back, repelled him from doing what he knew Ellie would later regret. Nicholas did not want anything he did with Ellie to ever be a regret.
"Nicky..."
"Ellie, don’t…" Nicholas gently grabbed Ellie's forearms to push her away, but her hold on him remained steadfast. "I don't think I have neither the strength nor the desire to refuse you a second time."
"Then don't refuse me."
The impact of Nicholas's lips crashing over hers had Ellie reeling. She held on to his shoulders for dear life as he hungrily pillaged the very lust from her mouth. Their tongues stroked, caressed, hot, wet, eager, oh so very eager. Nicholas kissed her like she was his first and last.
They nibbled on lips, teeth clinking and when oxygen became an exigency they breathed deep, lust mingling in the air they shared. Nicholas cornered her against the mirror. Effortlessly lifting her, he wrapped her legs around his waist, using his thigh to keep her there, steady. He pressed his face to her cheek, his lips roamed along her pretty face. He nudged at her jaw, whispering a path of open-mouthed kisses down the column of her neck. He couldn't get enough of her. It felt like an obsession. He was obsessed with her skin. Obsessed with the breathy sounds she made. Her. Just her.
"Ni---Nicky---" She panted, her voice a desperate plea and it took sheer will alone for him to ignore that plea when his conscience demanded he stop. With a deep shuddering sigh, Nicholas dropped his head to Ellie's shoulder.
"I can't be around you and not lose control, Ellie," He gasped. "Even now, I'm trying so hard not to rip off your clothes and take you against this wall. But not like this." The whispered words were an odd mix of desperation and anger, made even more so by his ragged breaths.
Ellie could feel Nicholas' restraint. She could feel every muscle in his body held taut in his will to keep himself in check. He was shaking. She could feel that and in that very moment, Ellie realized Nicholas had stolen her heart. She'd been on the brink, teetering on the precipice and this very act alone had pushed her over the edge.
Something warm and wet landed on his cheek and Nicholas raised his head to find tears brimming hazel eyes.
"Ellie?" He framed her face between his hands, "I'm so sorry, I should've had better control. I'm sorry, please don't cry, please---" he sounded as though he would cry himself and it was all Ellie could do to keep the tears at bay.
At a loss for words, Nicholas thumbed away at her tears, doing his utmost to provide comfort even when he felt like a complete ass. "Ellie, baby, I'm sorry."
Ellie sniffed trying to calm herself enough to speak. "No, no, Nicky I'm the one who should be apologizing. It’s just me being silly." She pressed her lips to his fingers and attempted a watery smile. "You were perfect. You've been so perfect tonight. It---it just means a lot that you care enough to stop me from doing something I probably would've regretted later." She looked away from those probing eyes. She shifted to get down and Nicholas settled her on her feet. He stepped, giving her ample space.
"It's getting late…maybe you should take me home."
Nicholas had the niggling suspicion that he’d just screwed up bad.
"Sure." What else was there for him to say, when Ellie refused to even look at him.
Releasing the hold she had on his waist, Ellie stood from the motorcycle and handed Nicholas his helmet.
"Thank you for tonight...and the tattoo."
"Don't worry about it." Nicholas could not stand the awkward silence. It felt as if they were back at square one. "You should get inside. I wouldn't want you to catch a cold."
"You didn't do anything wrong, Nicky. I'm just a little shaken by my reaction to you is all. Being with you tonight has---I don't know,” she helplessly shrugged, attempting to gather her thoughts. “It's difficult putting my feelings into words. But please don't think you've done something to upset me. I'm just trying to understand what's happening between us."
Nicholas released the breath he hadn't even realized he'd been holding. "Call me."
Ellie brushed a kiss to his cheek. "I promise."
"He just dropped her off." Matt snapped his new cell phone shut the minute he heard what he wanted to hear. Carelessly, he tossed the phone to the dark haired man seated across the table from him.
"Your bitch is home."
"Shut the fuck up and inhale your shit."
Matt chuckled and leaned over the coffee table as he inserted the small tube of paper he'd rolled up in his left nostril. He made sure to plug up the right before dragging the tube across the first, second and third line, all in one shot. When he was done, he leaned back against the couch, snorted and lifted his hand to his nose to rub remnants of what remained away.
"How long did it take you to get this?"
Tony pulled the needle from his arm and unwound the yellow band. "As long as it took you to fuck up my plan."
"Calm the fuck down. You'll have Ellie back soon." He smirked, "you gonna share her?"
"Fuck you, she's off limits."
"Since when did you become so greedy with your whores? You weren't so stingy when her ass was paying for your next high." Matt jeered.
"It's different now."
"Oh right, I forgot you have a daughter now. Wonder if she'll follow in mommy's footsteps..."
"If I weren't so fucking gone right now I'd kick your ass for that comment."
"We need to put a permanent bullet in their relationship and the reason why I called you here was to help me put it into action."
"What did you have in mind?"
Matt became drunk with giddiness as he divulged his plans to his friend and dealer.
"Hey man, I just came over to apologize for being such a dick the other day, forgive me?" After a hardened scrutiny from shrewd gunmetal eyes, Matt sighed with relief when Nicholas stepped aside to allow him access to his home.
Nicholas straight out of bed looked good enough to eat. The plaid pajama bottoms he donned hung precariously low around his tapered waist, putting on display the deep grooves at his hips that joined to create the v of his groin. He didn't have a shirt on and so Matt took the opportunity to ogle his best friend, admiring tattoos, he'd only ever dreamt of tracing with his tongue. When Nicholas turned his way with a small frown between his brow, Matt averted his eyes and cleared his throat.
"What?"
"I asked if you wanted something to drink."
"Nah, I'm cool, man, thanks." He took a seat on the blue-black stool at the kitchen island.
"Don't ever say that shit to my face again, Matthew, else you and I are going to have problems." Taking a sip from the bottled water, Nicholas met Matt's gaze evenly, the glint in diamond gray eyes speaking volumes.
"Yeah, yeah sure, Nicky no problem. You know how I get, I'm sorry about that. So, how've you been?"
Nicholas shrugged as he took a sip of his coffee. "Alright I guess...you?"
"Never better. Here," Matt tossed a ring of keys to Nicholas, who instantly caught it.
"What's this?"
"Keys to my...I mean, your Desmo."
"Matt---"
"No, Nicky, I've been doing a lot of thinking since our little spat the other day and I came to realize that you really deserve this. I mean you're the only one out of our little group who's actually managed to do the impossible."
Nicholas raised a brow. "And what's that?"
Matt clapped him on the back. "You've fallen in love. And I think that's probably the best prize anyone could ever ask for. So just as an apology and a sort of congratulations, I'm giving you the Desmo and keys to my parents' cabin in the mountains. Bring Ellie up there, get away from everything and have fun."
"Why are you doing this?"
"I told you---"
"You've told me the practiced bullshit. Now tell me what the hell is really going on. I've known you for a long time Bates I know how your mind works. You don't do nice shit for anyone."
"You're different," Matt said defensively. "You're my best friend, Nicky, and I really am happy that you've finally found someone to make you happy. I just want to contribute to that happiness, humor me?"
"Fine, I'll play along, but I'm warning you Matt, mess this up for me and you'll regret it. We'll go to the cabin," He tossed the key to the motorcycle back at Matt. "Keep your bike."
A myriad of bruises littered the once immaculate surface of her face. Nicholas silently guessed it probably pained her to see her porcelain white complexion so unbecomingly tinted. She didn't seem to be aware of his presence so preoccupied with the image in the handheld mirror. Wordlessly, he entered the pristine hospital room, leaned against the door and waited to see how long before she noticed him. Surprisingly, it didn't take long and no sooner had he finished counting that she turned cerulean blue eyes his way. The smile she bestowed upon him could've passed for warming. Nicholas however knew the concept of warm smiles and loving touches wasn't something Sonja Grayson had ever been able to grasp.
"Must you always look so dour, darling?" The seconds she spent looking at Nicholas were probably too much time spent away from her image and soon the mirror was once again in front of her.
She'd always been asleep during his past visits and in those rare moments when he'd simply sat by her bedside and watched her, Nicholas had found it easier to show emotion for this woman who had birthed him, but hadn't done a thing in raising him.
A sudden wave of resentment washed over him at the thought of the countless men she had left him for---men who had broken her heart countless times and she always ran back to them, seemingly ignorant of the son who needed her or the husband who regardless of his own faults was thoroughly embittered by her impious behavior.
"How are you feeling?"
Sonja spared a scathing look at her son before turning to her mirror. "How do you think I feel? Look at me, I look like a bruised fruit! Jean-Luc will be horrified when he sees me this way." She raised her hand, touching the stitched wound on her pale brow. "And to think we were supposed to go to Bali on Saturday. He'll never take me now!"
"I'm sure your boy toy will do everything in his power to make you happy. It wouldn't be wise on his part to ignore his meal ticket." He stated coolly, unflinchingly meeting her gaze, despite the scowl at her brow.
"Stop acting like your father, Nicholas, it is not at all becoming and you will stop speaking to me as if I were some dimwitted child! I am your mother and you will give me the respect I deserve!"
He'd wanted to remain calm for this visit, but the sudden rise of anger made it nearly impossible. "I'm going to leave now before I say something I'm not sure I'll regret."
He turned to leave, silver knob in his hand but his mother’s next statement halted him.
"How can you be so selfish? I'm the one who is lying in the hospital bed covered with injuries! Can't you for once in your life show me a little sympathy?!"
Nicholas' hold on the knob tightened to the point where blood ceased to flow in his fisted hand. His shoulders tensed, anger burned the back of his throat. "I apologize," There was nothing in his expression that conveyed contrition.
"If I seemed too self-absorbed for your liking, it is only because my whore of a mother has taught me no other way to be. If I seemed a bit too apathetic for your liking, it is only because my dear and loving mother has caused me to be so.” He turned and gave her a cool smile. “So excuse me for being less than a caring son, mother, it seems I lacked the proper rearing to show that I actually give a damn." Nicholas walked out then, leaving his mother in a silent state of shock.
There was something really wrong with Maddie, and Ellie was scared for her friend. It'd been over two weeks now and Maddie hadn't been seen at school. Ellie had tried on several occasions to call her, but her calls had gone unanswered. Her concern having grown to full blown panic, Ellie had driven down to Maddie’s house a few days ago, but had been turned away by her grandmother.
Apparently, Maddie wasn't up for visitors. Ellie had left both her cell and home number with Maddie’s grandmother, asking her to have Maddie call her when she was able to do so.
Maddie had yet to call and Ellie was growing increasingly worried. Guilt ate away at her as she felt partially responsible for Maddie’s sudden alienation. Ellie felt she should've been there for her, she should have been a better friend and then maybe Maddie would've confided in her. But she hadn't and solemnly, Ellie wondered whether her neglect over the last few weeks had prompted Maddie’s depression.
Ellie didn't doubt for a second that it was depression her friend was going through, all the signs were there. Moodiness, social isolation, low self-esteem, physical illness, the list went on and Maddie had exhibited all those signs.
Ellie knew how she felt. She knew the helplessness and crippling inertia that came with being so down. She'd gone through it, she'd survived it and now she wanted to share her experiences with Maddie, let her know that she wasn't alone and that everything would eventually be okay again. But she was unable to do that, unable to lend a helping hand when the one in need refused to take it.
"Thanks for dinner, Ells."
"Shit." The dinner plate almost slipped from Ellie's soapy hands, but she managed to catch it just in time.
Looking all the world’s contrite, Tony approached a frowning Ellie an apologetic smile on his face."I didn't mean to scare you. You okay?"
"Fine," She sighed, her heart rate returning to normal as she turned back to the dirty dishes in the sink.
"Soph's all tucked in. Thanks for trusting me enough to do that. I think she's starting to like me a little."
Ellie shrugged. "It'll take time, but the more she sees you, the more comfortable she'll be having you around." She peered over her shoulder at the father of her child and warily smiled. "You've been doing well."
"I have been trying. Call me foolish, but I've always wanted this with you," Tony waved around the room in emphasis. "Living the American dream, in a warm house filled with brothers and sisters for Sophie to play with, a golden retriever that actually fetches the newspaper every morning for me." Ellie hadn't realized exactly how close Tony had gotten until she felt his warm breath tickling the hairs at her ear.
Her discomfort level instantly spiked and she wanted nothing more than to push him away, but she remained calm, busying herself with the dishes.
"We can have that Ellie; you, me, and Sophie, we can move out of your uncle's house and into one of our own where I'll spend the rest of my life making you happy...you and our children."
Ellie spun around, pushed against Tony's chest to get some breathing space before speaking. "Let's get a few things clear here, Tony. First of all, I don't plan on moving out of Gabe's house anytime soon and if I did, it certainly wouldn't be with you. Secondly, Sophie is the only child you and I will ever have as far as kids are concerned. I don't want to get back with you Tony, so do us both a favor and just stop it."
"You don't understand how much I've missed you, Ells. Every moment I spent in the hell hole was with the hope of one day being with you, holding you while you slept, kissing you awake every morning." Tony cornered her against the kitchen counter with his body. "Making love to you every night for the rest of our lives..."
Ellie turned her head away as Tony leaned in to kiss her. "I think you should leave."
"Give me a chance, Ells. Give us a chance to be a family."
"I have my family. Gabe and Sophie are all the family I'll ever need." Nicholas' image popped into her mind and Ellie fleetingly smiled.
Tony saw the smile, took advantage of it and advanced on Ellie. His hands traced down to Ellie's hips, settling there with disturbing familiarity. "Why do you keep pushing me away when you know how good we are together?" He was in her red zone, face looming ever closer to hers. "You and I are one and the same, Ells. We have history together, I know who you are...what you like..." Tony's hand around Ellie's neck ceased her struggling.
The pressure wasn't enough to hurt, but the threat was very much there and Ellie couldn't have hated him more in that moment. He smiled without humor, his body bearing down on her. "I know how you like it, Ells." When his mouth crashed against her lips, Ellie bit down hard and yelped when he swiftly backhanded her, sending her sprawling.
"I hate it when you make things so fucking difficult. Why can't you see things the way I see them?"
"Leave now and maybe I won't be tempted to press charges." Ellie conjured bravado like a shroud, holding firm to it. She glared at him. "I mean it, Tony, get the fuck out of my house."
Beautiful Disaster (The Bet) Page 13
