“They’re all long gone, I’ll warrant,” Jake said. He looked up at Alicia and his eyes were dark with pain. “What will happen to him, do you suppose?”
“I’ll go see the sheriff and find out if he’ll let us bring him home if we’ll guarantee his appearance in court when the judge gets here.” It seemed like the logical thing to do, she thought, but Cord disagreed, shaking his head.
“Doubt if he’ll hear of it, Alicia. This is serious stuff. The boy has really done it this time.”
“Have you seen him?” Jake asked.
Cord nodded. “I went in the jail and back to the cell where he’s cooped up and he wouldn’t even look at me. Just lay down on the bunk and faced the wall.”
“He’s safe enough there, isn’t he, Cord?” Rachel asked. “No one can get to him, can they?”
“I doubt it, honey,” he said. “There’s gonna be some folks awfully mad at him, but they aren’t going to face down the sheriff to do Jason any harm.”
“I think he needs to be given a good dose of being left alone to take his medicine,” Jake said quietly. “He thinks someone will come to his rescue, and we’re not going to do it, Cord. He’ll just have to stew over this, all on his own.”
“Oh, Jake,” Alicia said, her heart aching for the boy who had been so hurt. “He’s only angry because he thinks you’ve turned against him. Telling him…” She hesitated and then plowed on. “When you told him I was moving into your room, he took it to be a rejection of his mother, and he couldn’t handle it. He thinks you’ve forgotten Rena.”
“I told him differently,” Jake said firmly. “It was his choice not to believe me.”
“He’s only nine years old,” Alicia said. “A child who’s still missing his mother, and terrified that he’s the only one who cares that she’s gone.”
“He knows better than that,” Cord said. “You’d think he’d be tickled to death that things are getting more cheerful around here.”
“But he doesn’t care about that,” Alicia said, determined that she was right in this. “All he cares is that I came in and tried to take the place of his mother. As long as I stayed upstairs, he could tell himself that I was the cook and his father had married me to look after the two of them.” She looked at Rachel appealingly. “You heard what he said, Rachel.”
“I think Jake’s right, though,” Rachel told her. “You can’t let Jason run this household. He’s only a child and he needs to learn who’s in charge.”
“Well, right now, that’s neither here nor there. Jason is stuck in a jail cell until the judge comes to town or the sheriff decides to let him come home on parole,” Cord said.
“Do you think he will?” Alicia asked hopefully.
“I wouldn’t hold my breath.” Cord looked grim as he rose and walked to the back door. It was fully dark outside, the stars out in profusion and the moon shining in a cloudless sky. “We need to head for home, Rachel,” he said. “We can’t do anything more here. Jason is stuck right where he is for tonight.”
“I hate to leave,” Rachel said slowly, touching Alicia’s hand in a comforting gesture. “Do you need me to stay?” she asked.
Alicia shook her head. “No, we’ll be fine.” Then she looked at Jake and wondered at the truth of those words. Jake looked anything but fine. His face was drawn and his jaw was firmly set.
“Go on,” Jake said, with more than a trace of his old harshness. He waved dismissively at his brother. “You can’t accomplish anything here, Cord. You’ve found the boy, that was the most important thing. He’s got himself in a mess, but there isn’t a damn thing any of us can do to change things for tonight.”
“You’re probably right,” Cord agreed. He took Rachel’s arm. “Come on, honey.”
“My brother Jay is at home,” she said. “He’ll be looking after Matthew and Melody.” She allowed Cord to hustle her to the door and then looked over her shoulder at Alicia. “Will you send someone out to get us if anything happens?” she asked.
Alicia nodded, hoping against hope that no such event would occur.
She closed up the house as soon as Cord’s surrey rolled down the street, checking to be sure the parlor windows were shut, although the sky looked clear enough. It probably wouldn’t rain, but the nights were cooling off rapidly. Jake didn’t need to take a chill. He was barely over the attack that had precipitated this whole mess, and she couldn’t take the chance of him having a relapse.
“Leave one of my windows open,” he said, rolling into his bedroom and then turning to face her. “Go get your nightgown, Alicia. You’re sleeping here with me tonight.”
She opened her mouth to protest, aware that this was the very thing that had brought about Jason’s run-in with the law, but the look on Jake’s face silenced her. He wasn’t in the mood to argue, she decided. His eyes were piercing, his jaw set aggressively and his knuckles were white as he gripped the arms of his chair.
No power on earth could make her defy him tonight, she decided. It was too important for Jake to feel in control right now. He’d lost his authority over Jason, and that was something he was trying to deal with, a burden he was barely equipped to bear. All that was left to him was the wife he’d chosen to protect and establish in her proper place, over the protests of his son. She had no intention of hurting him further.
“I’ll be there in a minute, Jake.” After lighting a candle to light her way, she climbed the stairs and paused in the doorway of Jason’s room. He’d thrown the quilt over his bed in a haphazard manner, but most of his things were in fairly tidy condition. The boy was trying, she decided. Her own room was spick-and-span, the bed neatly made, her clothing in good order, her nightgown tucked beneath her pillow.
She snatched it up, gathered her brush and clean undergarments for tomorrow and, picking up her candle, left the room. Jake had lit a lamp beside the bed and pulled back the sheet and quilt, preparatory to undressing. He looked up at her and hesitated.
“Would you rather I get undressed in the dark?” he asked.
She shook her head. “No, of course not.” Her smile was quick. “However, if you’d rather not be exposed to my particular set of imperfections, I’ll be happy to blow out the lamp for you.”
“You know better,” he said gruffly, pulling his shirt off and tossing it toward the laundry basket she kept in his room.
She felt constricted by his attention, wished he would turn his gaze elsewhere as she undid her buttons and slid the dress from her shoulders to drape at her waist. Her vest was quickly removed and for a few unguarded moments her upper body was bare of covering before him. Then the nightgown was pulled over her head and she undid the rest of her clothing beneath its sheltering folds.
“That’s unfair,” Jake told her, undoing his trousers.
She buttoned the gown and stepped out of the circle of clothing she’d shed. “It’s the way I get undressed every night.”
“I can see we’ll have to make some changes in your routine,” he told her. And then his expression softened, as if he were setting aside for a moment his anger at Jason. “I know you think I’m harsh and unfeeling about my son, Alicia. I haven’t forgotten about Jason and where he’s spending the night. But right now, I need you with me. I need you in my bed.”
“If having me with you is any comfort, then I’m here, Jake.” She meant the words from the bottom of her heart. Her throat tightened with emotion as she offered herself as consolation to the man who bore wounds of the spirit as well as the body, whose aching heart might be eased by her presence.
He reached out his hand to her and she walked toward him, accepting the touch of his fingers, leaning over him to press her lips against his forehead, then his jaw, where whiskers had formed during his illness, making him seem dangerous and disreputable. Jake was a good-looking man—clean shaven, he had proud and noble features.
Now, with the shadow of a beard present, his face took on a darker image as though the stronger facets of his personality were given leave to emerge.
A twinge of apprehension gripped her, even as a thrill she could not describe sent a shiver down her spine.
She noted the difference with senses more acute than ever in her life. It seemed he lacked the delicacy of the night before, for he looked at her with eyes that glittered, touched her with hands that demanded rather than coaxed her submission.
“Come to bed,” he said, his tone urgent, his fingers firm around her wrist as he guided her toward the turned-down sheet. She obeyed, sliding to the opposite side of the bed and pulling the sheet up to her breasts.
He stripped from his trousers and reached for the trapeze that hung over his bed. With practiced movements, he lifted himself from the chair, balancing himself with the remnants of his legs and sank into the mattress beside her. His chest was bare of covering, but his drawers hid the lower part of his body.
Alicia lay quietly beside him, unable to decipher his thoughts. If he needed the possession of her body to give him some sort of comfort tonight, she was willing to oblige. If he only needed her presence beside him, she would be pleased to do as he asked. Then he turned to her swiftly, raising himself on one elbow to loom over her, and her breath caught in a gasp of surprise at his sudden movement.
His hair was ruffled, his face shadowed and his voice when he spoke was ragged. She felt his pain as he spoke, fearful that his son’s betrayal had hurt him deeply. “I won’t blow out the lamp, Alicia,” he said gruffly. “You can’t hide beneath that gown tonight. I won’t let you. Any more than I’m planning to wear these damn drawers for any longer than it’ll take me to get them off.”
“All right,” she said, reluctant to shed the gown but unwilling to put up a fuss when Jake was so obviously agitated. She sat up and unbuttoned her bodice, then pushed it from her arms and to her waist. Wiggling beneath the sheet, she pushed it to the foot of the bed, then kicked it from beneath the covers.
She’d never felt so naked in her life. Last night shedding her clothing had made her self-conscious, but at least the room had been dark. Tonight was altogether different. And Jake was making no effort to put her at ease; his gaze was all-encompassing as his hand pulled back the sheet from her breasts. Then he made a demand she could barely countenance.
“Take off my drawers, Alicia. Unbutton them and push them off.”
“What if someone comes, Jake? We’ll both be…” She could not bring herself to speak the word. But apparently the situation would not be a problem, should it occur, so far as he was concerned.
“No one will be knocking at the door tonight,” he said. “We know where Jason is, and the sheriff is aware of it. Nothing is going to change before morning.” He lay back on the mattress and waited.
Alicia felt for the buttons that held his drawers in place and her fingers trembled as she undid the fastenings. He raised his hips, allowing her to push the soft knit fabric from him. She touched his upper leg, then moved downward till she came to the abrupt end of his thigh. Alicia looked up at him inquiringly, but his dark gaze was inscrutable. She was on her own.
She ran her fingertips lightly over the scarred flesh, her palm covering the area where once skin and bone had formed a knee. Their eyes met and held, seeming to form a bridge across which flowed her aching need to reassure him. He flinched once as her fingers explored the rough ridges of flesh where once a cruel saw had deprived him of the power to stand and walk as a man.
“Do I repel you?” he asked, his words harsh and biting. She felt him withdraw from her, and then he reached to push her hand from his leg.
She would not have it, would not allow him to force her from the path she had chosen. “No, you don’t repel me,” she said smartly. “Quite the opposite, in fact. You have my admiration, Jake. With all of your pain and the sorrow you’ve lived with the past years, you’re still more a man than any other I’ve ever known.”
When she would have resumed her caress, his grip tightened on her wrist. “You’re hurting me,” she said quietly. “I’ll wear bruises tomorrow.” But she refused to give way, would not allow him to force her retreat. Rising to her knees, she shed the covering that hid her from him, the sheet falling aside. She bent low, her breasts brushing his belly and the place where his manhood was not yet fully aroused.
Her mouth was open against him, pressing kisses against his leg, her tongue touching the scars, her lips leaving behind the caress of a willing woman, a wife who knew her husband’s flaws and was willing to accept them as a part of the man he had become. Jake released her wrist, and with a groan that seemed wrenched from deep within him, his fingers moved to touch her hair, weaving into the coronet of braids she wore, pressing her closer to her goal.
She held his scarred thigh between her hands, caressed it gently, and blessed it with a multitude of kisses, then lifted his other knee and sought the short length of leg it possessed.
“Alicia.” His voice was raw with pain, with a sorrow she could only imagine, for nothing in her life had prepared her for the reality of Jake’s wounding. “You don’t have to do this.”
She looked up at him. “Ah, but I do,” she whispered. “I have to make you understand that it isn’t the absence or presence of your lower limbs that makes you the man I love. This is but a part of you, an essential part, but not the most important part.” Beneath her breast, his manhood was coming to life, nudging her skin, making itself known to her. She smiled, shooting him a warm, inviting glance.
Suddenly he reached for her, grasping her shoulders and drawing her upward.
She shook her head. “Wait, Jake. I need to tell you why I love you.”
“You love me?” He looked disbelievingly at her. “I’ve given you little enough reason to even like me.”
“Well, it’s true,” she said firmly. “I knew months ago that I was in love with you. Although how I knew is beyond me. I’ve never felt this way about a man before and, as you pointed out, you haven’t given me much reason to feel like this. But at this point, I suspect it isn’t something I can control.”
“I’m mean and harsh and arrogant, Alicia,” he said crossly. “You told me that yourself. Surely if you were going to fall in love, it wouldn’t be with a man with no redeeming qualities.”
“Oh, you have a few.” She faced him then, lying halfway across his body. “You’re smart and quick-witted. I like your humor, and the way you respond to me. You don’t get angry…well, not very, anyway, when I speak up to you. And for the most part you’ve been fair with me.”
She reached out and traced his jawline with her index finger. “Even with these whiskers, you’re a handsome man, Jake McPherson. I don’t know why you ever decided I was a good candidate for marriage, but I’m happy that you made that move in my direction.”
“You’re a good wife, Alicia,” he told her. “Even if you’d never allowed me to coax you to my bed, you’d still be a wife to me. You’ve taken care of me and put up with my moods and been good to my son. This—” he touched her hip, his hand widespread against the firm flesh “—this is just a gift.” His other hand cupped one breast, the abundant roundness filling his palm.
“I feel so lucky to have you. To know that you aren’t—” As though he searched for a word, he paused, then pulled her closer. “Kiss me, Alicia. Please give me your warmth tonight. I need you badly.”
She met his lips with hers, still tentative, even after the long hours spent in his arms. “I’m not very good at this,” she murmured, raising her head to look down at him.
“If you were any better at it, I’d be in deep trouble,” he whispered. “As it is, I’m not sure how long I can hold out, sweetheart.” He touched her temple, ran his index finger through a lock of her hair that had come free of the braid she wore. “Will you take down your hair for me?” he asked. “I wanted to see it last night, but we got too involved too quickly, and besides it was dark. I’d like to watch it ripple around your shoulders.”
“It’s a mess when it’s undone,” she warned him. “I’ve thought of cutting it off. It takes forever to dr
y when I wash it, and keeping the snarls brushed out is a daily task.”
“No, I don’t want you to cut it,” he told her fiercely. “It’s lovely. Leave it long.” Then he sought the pins that held it in a coronet. One at a time, he removed them, holding them in one palm as the fingers of his other hand tugged them from place, until the long braid swung free against his chest.
She felt ill at ease, for her mother had often said that a woman’s hair must be kept tidy at all times. That it was vanity that made women allow it to lie loose against their shoulders, that men did not admire a woman who was slatternly in appearance. But Jake had bid her loosen the braid, allowing the crinkled mass to flow freely.
She did as he asked, undoing and running her fingers through the free strands of hair, watching as he reached to grasp a handful and clutch it between his fingers and palm. It was indeed long, hanging well beyond her waist, and before she was finished he had pulled it to either side, displaying it like a living shawl over her shoulders and breasts.
“It’s beautiful,” he whispered. “It looks just as I thought it would.”
“When did you ever think about my hair?” she asked, a dubious frown appearing.
“Frequently.” Absorbed in his task, he placed the long locks where he would and then smiled, as though pleased with his work. “I’ll brush it for you in the morning,” he offered.
“I may just take you up on that,” she said. “By the time I sleep on it, it’ll be a mess.”
“Come here to me,” he told her. “Lie beside me, Alicia. I need to love you tonight.”
“Beside you?” she asked, frowning. How this thing could be accomplished in such a way was more than her mind could fathom, but it seemed Jake had no such problem, for he took but moments to adjust their bodies, lifting her leg across his hip, so that he could reach her with ease, his hands once more making magic against her flesh.
“See?” He breathed the single word and she could only nod in response, unable to voice her delight at the sensations he elicited from the places he chose to visit. He bent to her breasts and suckled there, holding her against himself with hands capturing her legs and the width of her hips.
Redemption Page 20
