“You’re right. I do expect more of him with his studies. He’s a bright boy and I have reason to know that he’s more capable than many of the other children. I want him to do his best.” She studied Jason for a moment, watching as his cheeks reddened at her words. “If you like, I’ll back off. I only want you to be all you can be.”
“Yes, ma’am,” he said agreeably. “Now, can I go read my book?” Fleeing from arithmetic problems seemed to be his goal; Alicia granted his request, then watching as he picked up the adventure story he was deeply involved in, choosing a spot to sit where the lamplight fell directly on his book.
“He reads more than I did at his age,” Jake said quietly. “I was glued to the piano, even then.”
“He might be, too, if you choose to give him lessons as he asked,” Alicia told him.
“He hasn’t mentioned it again,” Jake said. “But I’ve been thinking about that. Maybe after Toby’s come and gone this week, I can spend some time with Jason.”
He did as he’d proposed, and on Thursday Alicia listened from the hallway as Jake introduced his son to the piano. It was more than half an hour later when she heard the first sound of impatience in his voice as he explained some small thing for the third time to the boy, and she swept into the room as if on a mission.
“I think perhaps we’ve had enough music for now,” she said, shooting a warning glance at Jake. “I’d like Jason to wash up and set the table for supper.”
The boy slid from the piano bench with a nod and headed for the doorway, turning back as he left the room to grin widely at his father. “Thanks, Pa,” he said. “I’ll do better next time.”
“He did fine,” Jake told Alicia with a wry look of impatience. “I was the one who was having a hard time. It’s more important when it’s your own child, I think. I can be patient with Toby and Catherine, but with Jason, I seem to want to teach him everything I know in one sitting. All he’s ready for right now is locating middle C and learning the scales.”
“Have you played for him?” she asked, knowing as she spoke that he would frown at her and shake his head in a negative reply.
“You know I don’t play anymore,” Jake said shortly. “Don’t push me, Alicia.”
She turned away. “All right. Supper is almost ready.” Hurt stiffened her backbone as she walked from the room, but she hid the pain his quick temper caused.
He rolled through the long hallway behind her. “Alicia.” He called her name and she halted by the kitchen door, waiting for him to catch up with her.
“I doubt I’ll ever touch those keys again,” he said. “It’s difficult to teach when I have to tell my students instead of showing them, but that’s the way it is. Try to be content with what you’ve accomplished.”
“I’m trying.” Opening the kitchen door, she stood to one side, waiting for Jake to roll past her, and pinned a smile on her face for Jason’s benefit. “Let me check the potatoes,” she said, and then looked at the table. “You’ve done well, Jason. Don’t forget the napkins.”
THE WEATHER WAS GROWING chilly, the nights bringing frost to paint the trees with the colors of autumn. Alicia had settled in nicely, arranging her nest with the confidence of a woman who knows her worth. She rose early each morning to prepare breakfast for the three of them, confident that a good meal would hold Jason in good stead during the long day he spent in school.
The next Tuesday morning began as any other weekday, with Jason dragging his feet, Jake sitting at the table with his coffee before him, and Alicia trying her best to keep them both happy. It would behoove her to snatch a piece of toast, she thought. Her stomach was protesting its lack of food, and even as she considered that idea, a wave of nausea swept over her.
“What do you have planned for this morning?” Jake asked, watching as she put together a thick sandwich for Jason’s lunch. An apple from the pantry was added to Jason’s lunch bag, and she counted out four cookies and wrapped them in waxed paper. Preparing food was not sitting well, she decided, reaching for a piece of bread.
“I’m going to help at the church for a couple of hours,” Alicia said. “They’re getting ready for a quilting bee and I promised to lend a hand.”
“Have you thought about what you’ll fix for our lunch?” Jake’s eyes followed her around the kitchen and she turned to face him head-on as he spoke.
“Mrs. Bates will be here today,” she said. “I’m sure she’d be happy to fix you a fresh sandwich or get out some chicken left from last night’s supper.”
“It won’t taste as good if you don’t make it.” She thought his mouth drew into the same sort of pout as Jason’s when he was in a bad mood, and she almost laughed aloud at the sight.
“Did you forget that Cord’s coming today to fix a trapeze in the bathing room for you? That’ll keep you busy, giving him orders.” She whispered in his ear, bending over to kiss him. “I’d have thought you’d had enough of my company. You kept me awake half the night.”
He shot her a quick glance and she noted the smile he could not contain curving his lips. “Are you complaining?” he asked dryly. Reaching for her hand, he drew her back toward him and tugged at her until she bent again to kiss his brow.
“Is that the best you can manage?” he asked.
“For now, yes.” With a look toward Jason, she mouthed words for Jake’s benefit only. Later. Much later. He grinned, his mood cheered considerably by her foolishness and she felt relieved.
Turning to go to the bedroom where she would change into a nicer dress for her jaunt to the church, she felt a moment’s dizziness and reached to balance herself on the doorjamb. It passed quickly and she covered the momentary lapse with an excuse, spoken in an undertone.
“I’m getting clumsy in my old age,” she murmured, then came to a halt in the hallway in front of the back bedroom door.
Again, nausea rolled from her stomach to her throat, and the taste of bile was sour in her mouth. She closed the door behind her and fled across the room to where the chamber pot sat beneath a wooden table. Thankful that she’d already washed it out for the day, she bent over it and lost what little coffee she’d drunk and the half slice of bread she’d eaten.
“Oh, my word,” she whispered, sinking down on the chair, wiping her forehead with a damp cloth from the basin. “What on earth is wrong with me?” Her hands were trembling, and as the dizziness returned she searched her mind for possibilities. Only one made itself known, and the possibility of that was highly unlikely, she decided.
A woman of thirty who’d never been married, never conceived a child heretofore, would not be prone, she thought, to have fallen pregnant so easily. Then again, she’d been sleeping in Jake’s bed long enough for such a thing to happen.
She blushed as the thoughts circled in her mind. It could not be, she decided firmly. And yet, the niggling thought of monthly times, and the lack thereof, would not be banished. She’d known that her time was late, but that happened sometimes, especially to a newly married woman, she’d heard.
Didn’t it?
With determination, she decreed it time to talk to someone who knew a whole lot more about this situation than she did. Perhaps Rachel would be the best choice. For although she had a fine education, there were areas in which she was sadly lacking—and this one headed the list.
She dressed quickly and hastened from the room, almost plowing into Jake’s chair as she met him in the hallway.
“What’s wrong, Alicia?” His voice was stern, as though he would not swallow any excuses, and she sought a plausible explanation for her haste.
“I’m going to be late,” she said with a smile. “I fiddled around too long this morning and now I’m having to hurry to make up the time.”
“That’s not what I’m talking about,” he told her. “You weren’t clumsy in the kitchen, and you know it. You’re about the most graceful woman I’ve ever known, and losing your balance that way wasn’t because you tripped.” He looked at her, his eyes narrowing, his gaze seem
ing to penetrate her very pores.
“Now, tell me what’s wrong.”
She shook her head, unwilling to speak aloud the fears she harbored. Fear was the wrong word to use. For if she was indeed carrying Jake’s child, it would be the most wonderfully exciting thing ever to happen in her life. As to whether or not Jake would feel the same, she had no idea, and this morning wasn’t a good time to find out.
She bent to him and kissed him quickly, her lips warm and soft against his, seeking to distract him. It didn’t work. He reached for her and his fingers grasped her wrist. “Alicia.” It was a warning, one she recognized. Jake would not be thwarted in this. He wanted an answer.
“Hey, Pa. I’m leavin’now,” Jason said brightly, sailing through the kitchen door and pausing momentarily beside his father’s chair. Then he looked up at Alicia. “Are you walkin’ to the church, Miss Alicia?”
“Yes,” she said. “It’ll be a few minutes till I’m ready, so you go on ahead.”
They watched as Jason went out the front door, his jacket undone, his books under his arm. Jake shot her a look that she recognized.
He would not be denied.
Kneeling abruptly beside his chair, she leaned on his leg, placing her forehead against the fabric of his trousers. “Alicia, what is it?” His voice deepened, and his hand touched the crown of her head, where her braids were coiled and pinned in place. “Tell me what’s wrong,” he said firmly. “I won’t let you go until you do.”
“I don’t know for sure,” she said, her voice muffled against his knee.
“You don’t know for sure.” He repeated her words slowly as his palm moved to her nape and cupped it, rubbing the tender skin there with easy movements. “What don’t you know for sure, sweetheart?”
“I can’t remember if I’ve had a monthly time lately,” she told him.
His hand ceased its movement, and she thought he’d stopped breathing. “Are you sure?” And then he laughed aloud. “Of course you’re sure!”
She lifted her head and peered up at him. “Do you think…?” She could not finish the sentence, could not speak aloud the thoughts that spun through her mind.
“Yeah, I think,” he whispered, and his hand cupped her chin now, lifting her higher on her knees until he could reach her lips with his own. “I think you’re going to have my child, Alicia.”
“I’m such a dummy,” she whispered. “I didn’t even think it might be that.”
“And you weren’t going to tell me?” His face drew into stern lines and he shook his head. “I’m not sure you’re well enough to be helping at the church today.”
She looked down at her lapel watch and inhaled sharply. “I’m fine, Jake. I feel up to snuff now, and I’ve got to hurry. I promised to be there early to set up the quilting frames.” She smiled, the pleasure of this revelation building within her.
“I’m so happy, Jake. I didn’t know how badly I wanted to have a child.”
“Thank you for that, for wanting to bear my child,” he said quietly, and then helped her to her feet. “Go on, then,” he said. “I’ll let Mrs. Bates in when she comes and ask her to start supper for us. I fear you’ll be tired when you come home.”
She nodded her approval of his plan and crossed to the hall tree where her heavy coat hung on a peg. Sliding her arms into the sleeves, she turned back to him, catching him with a foolish grin on his lips. With six long strides, she was beside him once more and she bent again to kiss him.
He laughed again and playfully swatted her bottom. “Go on now, before you end up staying home altogether,” he warned her.
The nausea was gone, the dizziness had passed, and she felt invigorated by the brisk air as she marched along the road toward the church. The ladies were waiting for instructions, and since Alicia had volunteered to be in charge of this project, they welcomed her with open arms. Within minutes she had begun to organize things and the clutch of women set to with a will, Alicia tending to each facet of the preparation.
Yet beneath her surface calm there beat a heart that overflowed with anticipation. She felt as though she walked on a cloud, that her sensibly shod feet barely touched the wide-planked floor. Just to think, she’d be cradling a baby boy or girl by the time the flowers were in full bloom next summer.
CORD HAD HUNG THE TRAPEZE from the center of the bathing room, directly over the claw-footed tub. It rose and fell with a pulley and the rope could be bound around a fixture on the wall to keep it out of the way when not in use. Jake’s pleasure at the arrangement was obvious, his grin wide as he showed the apparatus to Alicia after supper.
“Did you try it out?” she asked, attempting to visualize how the contraption would work. At Jake’s negative response, she made a suggestion she knew would please him. “Why don’t I fill the tub after a while, when Jason’s gone to bed, and we can figure out how to do this?”
His nod signified instant acceptance of her suggestion, and he waited with a decided lack of patience until it should be bedtime for his son. Alicia had already put the largest containers on the stove and filled them with water to heat. In no time at all, she had carried them into the bathing room and emptied them in the tub, adding enough cold water to make the temperature of his bath comfortable.
“I want it good and hot,” Jake said, reaching from his chair to test the waters. “You have no idea how I’ve dreamed of this, sweetheart,” he said in a low voice. “Washing in bits and pieces is frustrating. I never feel like I’ve got all the parts clean.”
“You’ve always been clean, Jake,” she told him. “This will just make it easier.”
“Not for you,” he said, waving a hand at the empty containers she’d lugged over the threshold during the past fifteen minutes.
“Oh, I don’t know,” she said, rolling up her sleeves. “I’m planning on enjoying this.”
“Oh?” His brow lifted as he watched her actions. “How’s that?”
“I’m going to wash your back and lots of other places, as well,” she said smartly.
His grin was wide and she thought for a moment that she barely knew this man, hardly recognized him as the same individual she’d met months ago. He’d gone from being a cantankerous recluse to the man before her, emerging from his solitude and learning to smile, to enjoy life once more.
Within moments, he was stripped from his clothing and had placed his chair next to the tub. Alicia lowered the trapeze, then secured the rope. Jake reached for it, balanced himself on the chair with his strong arms and then swung into the hot water, lowering himself to the bottom of the tub with a gasp.
“Damn, it’s hot.”
“You’re the one who set the temperature,” she reminded him, reaching for a bucket of cold water. Before she could add it, he held up a hand.
“It’s all right now. I like it this way, Alicia.” He leaned forward, balancing himself and reaching for the washcloth she’d placed on the side of the tub. But she would not have it, and snatched it from his hand.
“I’m doing the honors this first time,” she told him, kneeling beside the tub and sloshing the cloth in the water. A bar of soap was handy and she rubbed it against the cloth, forming a lather that promised to cover his whole back with a layer of suds.
She began there, and listened to his groan of pleasure as she scrubbed the muscular lines of his shoulders and then down past his waist. The cloth was rinsed and she splashed water on him, allowing it to sluice away the soap. In turn, it was time for his chest and neck, his arms and hands.
As if he were a babe, she washed him, and he allowed it. His hair received a long sudsing and she rinsed it with cool water, bringing low growls of protest from him as the water made him shiver. Then she handed him the cloth.
“You get to finish,” she told him firmly, nodding as he bent to peer through the sudsy water to where his male parts were showing proof of her efficiency. His arousal was apparent, and she felt a twinge of embarrassment as she recognized her effect on him.
“Coward,” he w
hispered.
“Am not,” she retorted firmly.
“Are, too,” he returned. Then watched her with glittering eyes as she considered his state of readiness.
With a toss of her head she knelt beside him once more, took the cloth in hand and rubbed the soap against the fabric. “You asked for it,” she warned him.
“Yeah.” His voice was husky, the single word a satisfied groan as she completed the task she’d begun.
CHAPTER SEVENTEEN
ALICIA WAS HALFWAY HOME from the general store, the mare high-stepping its way down the street. As if anxious for more exercise than she received with these short trips to town, the horse pranced within the traces. If only she could somehow get Jake into the buggy, especially now that the shed at the house had made outings so convenient. A ride in the country would be just the ticket, and the mare would enjoy the outing.
The building of the shed and corral had gone quickly once Cord arrived to handle the project. Recruiting three men from the lumberyard and hardware store had been a good move on his part, Alicia thought, remembering the speed at which the small building had been erected. A lean-to on one side provided a place for the buggy and future plans included fencing in an acre of land for a pasture. Small, but sufficient for one horse. Now her horse and buggy were handy, requiring only a trip to the back yard, where she could harness the pretty mare to the shiny new buggy, and do her errands in style.
Her mind was spinning, awhirl with plans for the coming week. Christmas had ever been the most important day in the year, so far as she was concerned. Although she hadn’t had much opportunity to celebrate in previous years, except for the services at church and being included in preparations in whichever home she was living at the time, she’d still been attuned to the holiday spirit, enjoying the music and decorations that made it such a wonderful time of the year.
Living with Jake and Jason opened up a whole new world of celebration, one in which she could indulge her fantasies to the fullest extent. Oblivious to everything but her own thoughts, she was caught by surprise by Cord’s appearance. His farm wagon moved beside her as she traveled, pacing her, and his laughter caught her attention.
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