by Lynn Vroman
He caught my elbow and shook his head. “I don’t think so.”
“It’ll be okay.” I yanked my arm out of his grasp and went to the door. One deep breath and I pushed it open. The room looked innocent, especially with the lights on. Relaxing, I began to sweep between the rows of seats.
After about a half hour, I heard it again. The voice. I’m watching you.
I dropped the broom and ran without stopping until I reached Jake’s office. His head popped up as he cradled the phone between his ear and shoulder. He mouthed, Are you okay?
No…no, I wasn’t.
∞ ∞ ∞
Jake dropped me off at home, promising to come back at four to pick me up. As I turned the knob, footsteps coming from the right scared the shit out of me. I screamed, the voice still on my mind, making me twitchy. I turned, and there stood my best friend, a grin splitting his face.
“Zander!”
My stomach twirled. The high it took an hour of running to create rushed into my veins with one glimpse of him. I felt whole and little, defenseless and protected. Everything I purged from my self-esteem this morning filled my being with the intensity of a tsunami. But I didn’t care.
I rushed into his arms, inhaling his scent, always spice and freshness, like clothes drying in the ocean breeze. The strength of his body absorbed the weight of mine as his arms wrapped around me.
“Where’ve you been?” I kept my nose crushed into his chest as he held me tight, that dull fuzz he always produced zinging through my brain.
“Sorry, I’m sorry.” His face turned into my hair.
“I was so worried.” Tears gathered at the corners of my eyes, but I laughed in between words. Crazy laughing.
“I’m sorry,” he said again, as he cupped the back of my neck. “My dad…we had to leave…my mamaw….”
“Is she okay?” I’d never met his dad, much less his grandmother, but if he hurt, so did I.
“She is now.” His face tensed for a second. “I…ah…forgot my charger.” He massaged the back of my head, the fuzz gearing into overdrive. “All your calls clogged up my voicemail.”
“Well! Don’t do that again, okay?” The neediness in my voice made me cringe.
Holding up two fingers, he said, “Scouts’ honor.” He put some space between us and zipped his coat. “Let’s go inside, out of the mud.”
He never wanted to come in before, and I never asked him to. “But my dad–”
“Then let’s go somewhere. I missed you.”
“I missed you, too.” Well, the weak, needy, annoying part of me missed him. “How ‘bout a walk in the woods instead?”
He scrunched his nose, never a fan of the outdoors, but nodded. “As long as I get to be with you, I don’t care where we go.”
“Just let me grab a sweatshirt.”
He groaned.
Laughing, I trudged up the cement blocks. “Two minutes.”
When I came back outside, I gave him a shy smile, bunching my hair in a messy bun. Zander grinned and took my hand, heading toward the woods.
We walked for about five minutes before my nerves wouldn’t let me keep quiet. “You going to work? Jake’s pissed, but if you explain, I’m sure he’ll…”
I glanced up to find him staring, his usual smirk nowhere in sight. His dark eyes, intense and serious, never left mine. Whatever the change, I felt more self-aware because of it.
He stopped in the middle of the path and grabbed my other hand. “Yeah, I’m goin’. Jake’ll understand…especially if you plead on my behalf.”
“Consider your behalf pleaded.” I fidgeted with his fingers.
He tugged me down the path as I all but forgot how strong I felt without him.
Once we reached the edge of the stream, he did something I’d never thought he’d do. He bent down, touching his lips to mine. At first, his mouth was gentle, tentative, asking for my permission. Giving it to him, I let go of his hands and dug my fingers through his hair, pulling him close.
I felt…nothing. Just that damn fuzz clogging my better judgment.
Maybe this was what everyone felt? Always thought my first kiss would have more effect on the heart–have me tingling somewhere else, at least.
I mean, really. He was cute, with smooth brown skin that never needed acne cream or a razor, and he always smiled. But…nothing.
Nothing?
I broke away. “Ah, wow. That was…”
“Amazin’. Perfect.”
Not exactly…
He touched his forehead to mine. “You think maybe we could at least try, you know, to be more than friends?”
I dragged myself away and sat on the bank. “I-I don’t know. Maybe?”
He sat beside me, flinging some rocks into the water. “I know I’m not Him, but I’m real, and I’m right here. All you gotta do is say yes.”
I’d waited my whole life to meet the guy with gray eyes. Stupid, yes, but when his face appeared in my dreams… yeah, maybe it was time to tuck the fairy tale away. “Yeah, okay, let’s do it.”
“Huh.”
I gave his shoulder a bump. “What do you mean, ‘huh’?”
A lazy smile lit up his face. “When I pictured this moment, I always expected somethin’ like rainbows and fireworks. Not, ‘yeah, okay.’”
I gave him a kiss on the cheek. Still nothing, damn it. “Oh, yes, Alexander Klein! I’d love to go steady with you.” I did my best southern accent and fluttered my lashes. “Better?”
“Much.” He kicked at the dirt, staring at his shoes. “Was school really bad this week without me?”
“No, it was fine. Um…Belva crapped herself in Chemistry.”
He laughed so hard tears leaked from his eyes. Yeah, I missed him. Missed the feelings I had when I was around him.
Kind of hated them, too.
My Zander heroin.
Tarek
Dimension of Exemplar…
Did he say…? Yeah, he said it. Her name. That one word caused the void in his chest to jump and twitch at the promise of becoming full.
His search was over.
Tarek’s hand tightened around the mug. “Where is she?” His flat tone disappeared, and the hard edge he barely remembered made his voice louder, deeper.
“I shouldn’t tell you, but…there have been some happenings.”
“And?”
“Please, let me take her research. I could–”
He threw his mug, just missing the top of Mateusz’s head. Ceramic shattered against the fireplace and amber liquid drizzled along the cracks. Pain seared his stomach, his throat, burning stronger than the whiskey. Mateusz wasn’t going to tell him.
Like hell, he wouldn’t.
“You know the penalty if you go to her.” Mateusz folded his hands on the table, his back stiff.
Tarek sat across from him, his patience snapping. “Tell. Me. Where.”
Mateusz stayed silent.
“Where?” If the guy wanted it beaten out of him, he’d do it. No problem.
Resignation had Mateusz’s shoulders slumping under his loose jacket when he finally nodded.
Tarek leaned his elbows on the table, daring Mateusz to change his mind. He could already smell her scent, taste her lips…feel her arms…
“It’s not only you in jeopardy if the Synod catches wind of this conversation. I’m the only one who stands between us and their ridiculous punishments.”
Tarek felt the beat of his heart for the first time in years. “You have my word.”
A moment of hesitation skipped through the room as Mateusz studied his hands. “She’s in purgatory.” He stood, adjusting his glasses.
“No shit. Which one?” Purgatory could mean so many places–all of them bad.
“You must be careful not to interrupt her cycle.”
“Which one, Mateusz?”
Mateusz walked to the screens and inserted his USB into the control panel. In seconds, every screen gave Tarek heaven. There she was on each flat surface, sweeping betw
een rows of chairs. She appeared the same except with long hair piled on top of her head, and her eyes…Were they green?
Too soon the video stopped, freezing on her face.
Lena.
“What is this place?” He stumbled to the screens and absorbed the image he could only find in memories and old holograms since the day they took her.
Mateusz stood beside him. “I need to erase this from your screen’s memory. Can’t leave any trails.”
Tarek ground his teeth. “Fine, just tell me where to find her.”
The older Protector pulled the cover off the screens’ control panel, working his tech magic until Lena disappeared. He then procured a UV pen from his jacket pocket and touched the tip to the USB. The chip disintegrated in seconds.
When the monitors went black, Tarek fought the urge to yank them off the wall. Not enough. An image would never be enough.
“She’s in a dimension called Earth.” Mateusz moved to the bookcase and pulled out a large text. Flipping to a map, he touched the tiny button on the spine of the book. A detailed hologram appeared above the desk. He signaled Tarek over before touching an area on the map that ballooned to three times its original size. “Start looking here.”
∞ ∞ ∞
“What if you don’t understand her language?”
“Details, Mateusz. Not important.”
“I would think it extremely impo–”
“My chip’s been updated. It’s a non-issue.” Every Exemplian had a microscopic device implanted in their brains, allowing them to understand and communicate with people from other worlds. He never failed to update his, just in case he found Lena.
Tarek studied the dimensional map for hours with Mateusz right behind him, pacing, wiping his glasses…asking stupid questions. But Tarek’s attention never left the hologram.
The map narrowed things down, bringing her closer, but the dimension was huge. Every tree, every house, down to the cracks and holes in the roads could be seen when highlighted and enlarged. The graphics didn’t help find her. Only the coordinates would. “You need to get her exact position,” Tarek said.
“Really? That easy, is it? No plan? No strategy? Shouldn’t you at least study the dimension first?”
“No need. Got my suit.” No point finding out what things trolled a place when you had a contego suit that protected skin and major body organs from any serious attack.
“Yes, but–”
“Not. Important.” His eyes stayed on the hologram. “Get the location, and I’ll take care of the rest.”
The fridge opened and ice tinkled in a glass followed by the uncorking of the whiskey bottle. Mateusz could have all he wanted of his stash. Tarek hadn’t touched the stuff since the older man gave him his life back.
“I need to tell you…Cassondra’s suspicious.” Mateusz’s words made Tarek’s spine tingle and his shoulders tense.
Cassondra was head of dimension research and development and as irritating as a heat rash. She also controlled the satellites and monitored the incoming feed from all the dimensional screens. Why the Synod appointed such an important job to her was beyond his comprehension, especially considering who her brother was.
Tarek waved a hand through the hologram, marring the image for a second, and turned to his friend. “Why?”
“She’s been getting messages–someone’s telling her a rogue is harassing Lena.” He hesitated. “Cassondra thinks it’s you.”
If Mateusz reached out and punched him in the face, he wouldn’t have been any less shocked “What?”
“That’s not all.” Mateusz took a drink, set his mug down, and wiped his mouth with a shaky hand. “She’s meeting me here, tonight.”
Tarek stepped forward, his fists automatically curling. “What the hell for?”
“Because I invited her.”
Of course there’d be a caveat. Luck didn’t usually play on his side. Tarek spent the last ten years begging Mateusz to use his authority clearance to figure out which dimension the Synod sent Lena, only to have the guy refuse. Mateusz showing her image on the screens after a few seconds of desperate insisting on his part probably should have clued him in. “You better start talking.”
Mateusz swiped drops of perspiration from his forehead before grabbing his drink off the table and downing it with one gulp. “I don’t know the damn details! All I know is she’s suspicious. I wanted her to see how you haven’t left this hut, much less traipsed across dimensional lines to hinder the development of lesser worlds.”
Tarek slumped on the couch, his head resting in his hands. “Shit.”
“Exactly.” Mateusz poured himself another drink. “Try to control your temper, prove you haven’t broken any laws. I don’t wish to end my cycle today, and I’m sure you feel the same.”
“It’d definitely complicate things.” Tarek scrubbed his matted hair before going back to the map.
An hour passed without talking. There wasn’t much more to say after Mateusz’s revelation. If a curious Exemplian was messing with Lena, Cassondra would take care of the problem. It wouldn’t just be the rogue dying. She’d get rid of Lena, too, permanently. A complete energy annihilation. The bitch wouldn’t let anyone disturb the status quo. She took her job as overseer of dimension development seriously.
“Close the book.” Mateusz stalked to the window, pushing aside the thick curtain. “She’s here.”
Tarek slammed the book shut, the map disappearing. He tripped over the chair on his way to the shelf and shoved the book home. Mateusz could feel Cassondra’s energy well before him, but as soon as the knock came, the dull fuzz that always accompanied a Protector’s arrival entered his brain.
Pissed. That’s what he needed to be, seeing as how it was the mask he’d worn for the last seventeen years. Any different and she’d call in the troops. When Mateusz walked to the door, Tarek waited in front of the fire, hands behind his back, expression impassive.
Before Mateusz opened it, he turned toward Tarek, his voice a terse whisper. “There are two new energies being Paired. One’s a Guide–she wants it. I’m sure I can convince the Synod Guides to give it to her. I’ll find Lena’s exact location if, and only if, Cassondra is awarded the energy. Which means you’ll have one month to find the rogue before she is released from the Pairing.”
Pairing was the ritual performed to bind a Protector with a Guide. A time when a piece of oneself was taken and refilled with the presence of another…he used to relish it, crave the responsibility of protecting a Guide. Now, the thought of taking on the duty only created exhaustion. All he wanted was Lena.
Tarek nodded and Mateusz opened the door, a smile slipping into place. Had to give the man credit, he was a superb actor. “Cassondra, you’re as punctual as always.”
The woman never smiled–never frowned either. A face neither attractive nor ugly, she just was. Her eyes, colorless as water, had Tarek lacing his fingers together to keep them from fidgeting. Wouldn’t want her to see how nervous she made him.
“Tarek,” she said, her voice neutral, “it has been far too long.”
Not long enough. “Cassondra. What do I owe the honor?”
Cassondra sauntered over to the bookshelf, scanning its contents. She stopped her investigation when her eyes landed on the desk. “You’ve been out of commission for so long, I worried you might be in need of intervention.”
Tarek left his spot, nerves forgotten, when she attempted to turn a page of the Arcus text, a cloud of dust puffing in the air. He put a palm on the book, preventing her. “Don’t.”
She cocked her head in an objective way and gave Mateusz a look before returning her gaze to his hand. “Are you curious about Arcus, Protector?”
“No.” His hand stayed put.
“Then I’m afraid I do not understand your reaction.” She folded her hands in front of her blue smock, face serene when it lifted to meet his.
Mateusz answered for him. “These are Lena’s books.” He guided Cassondra toward the door.
“I’m afraid my friend has not yet changed a thing since her departure.”
The woman held up a hand when Mateusz went to open the door and returned her attention to Tarek. “It’s peculiar, her interest in Arcus and her crimes.” Real emotion flitted through her eyes. “But…the responsibility Wardens of underdeveloped dimensions must endure is taxing. That good energy she gave, though illegal, helped ease his burden.”
Tarek never left the desk. He didn’t give a shit about Arcus or its Warden. Cassondra didn’t care in the least about Lena, either. It took everything he had not to demand why she didn’t vouch for Lena if what she supposedly did was so great for the Warden, who also happened to be Cassondra’s brother. “I’m sure it’s dispiriting. Don’t envy any Warden, really.”
She gave one last look around the cottage and nodded. “You live so primitively. Do you not enjoy the amenities Exemplar offers?”
“I enjoy simplicity.”
“Interesting.” She opened the door, signaling Mateusz to follow, but stopped. “And how long has it been…since you’ve left this simplicity?”
Tarek caught the warning glance from Mateusz before he answered. “Seventeen years–since the day you took her away from me.”
Another rare glimpse of emotion flashed across Cassondra’s face. “I wish I would have been able to sway the verdict, but the law is law, Protector.”
That simple. That black and white. Never any gray when it came to preserving the balance between dimensions, even at the expense of her brother. Even at the expense of Lena.
Cassondra swept through the doorway, and Mateusz followed, shutting the door behind them.
Lena
Zander and I spent the whole night at work giving shy looks and touching hands every time we passed each other behind the concession counter. Our new relationship felt like the corny ending of a movie–the same hazy movie I had been in for the last three months.
But his eyes held tension every time he thought I wasn’t looking. Maybe he still had reservations about my sanity after Tuesday night’s chair incident. He never mentioned it, but who wouldn’t be worried their new girlfriend might be a basket case?
At midnight, we sat in his car in front of my trailer, his engine off and radio on. He usually kept the motor going, like being in the park too long might rub off on him, make him one of us. New Zander had me spinning.
