by Lynn Vroman
Lena
Wilma grimaced and scrunched up her nose, wistfulness now a memory. “At least, that’s what you two have always said, romantic fools.”
Screw breathing. I couldn’t do it, anyway. We stood there, her hand holding mine, while I absorbed what she said. My energy? What did that even mean? Maybe we all were crazy. Maybe this was a nightmare.
“You’re not dreaming, Lena. And I’m certainly not crazy, even if you might be.”
I snatched my hand away. “I didn’t say that out loud, did I?”
Yup, certifiable. Fit me with my new jacket. Make sure the sleeves are extra tight.
Wilma took my hand back and closed her eyes. “You don’t need a jacket yet, honey. But I wouldn’t count it out after I tell you a couple of things.”
Her grip was like iron, no matter how hard I tugged. “How’re you doing that?”
Wilma’s voice slammed into my brain. You can hear me, too, if you shut your brain up long enough to listen.
She spoke aloud again. “I have to be touching you in order to hear you, unless you’re in your energy form.” She let go after that, crossing her arms and tapping her temple. “But I can send you messages whenever I feel like it.”
Energy form?
“Who else can hear me?” Stupid question, but I thought of all the people…a brush in the hallway, a pat on the back…a kiss in the woods.
“Just me.” She snorted again. “But any Protector who has the ability can talk inside your head. Call it a privilege.”
The more she said, the less I understood. Man, I wanted that jacket, a really tight one. “A Protector?”
“A…a guardian, I guess you could call it.” She threw her arms in the air. “A babysitter, more like.”
“I have a guardian? Does everyone have one?”
“No, not everyone. You want to know this? After everything you’ve been through?”
“Yes, Wilma! This is exactly what I want to know.” I ran a hand through my hair, trying to calm my nerves. “And who’s Tarek? And why does he seem to know me?” And why have I dreamed about him? Didn’t want to ask that question, though. One crazy answer at a time was all I could handle.
She huffed. “I told you who he is. He’s been the thorn stabbing my ass since taking you on. He’s what you always called your heart, your other half.” She gave an exaggerated flutter of lashes as she tapped her chubby hands on her chest.
“I’ve never called him anything.” Her theatrics were dangerously close to her getting a throat punch. “I don’t even know who he is.” Well, not the real him.
“Oh, you know who he is. Maybe not during this cycle.” She crossed her arms again. “It’s been kind of nice not having to deal with you two during your fights, your ‘adventures’…other things.”
My face flushed, and even the chilly night didn’t help cool my cheeks. Time for a subject change. “What do you mean, cycles?”
“Lives. The cycles you’ve lived.” She rubbed her forehead. “So many things you weren’t supposed to know. Keeping you out of trouble has been exhausting.”
I had the urge to wrap an arm around her tired shoulders, needing her near, even if the desire to punch her still lingered. After a second of thinking it over, I hugged her. Punching her might just end up giving me a black eye, anyway.
Smart choice, because her tone became less combative, sort of nice even. “I’ve never had to use so much energy keeping you safe before. You’ve always been able to take care of yourself–and you had Tarek guarding you like a loyal watchdog.”
“Um…Sorry?”
“Not your fault.” A smile played at the corners of her mouth. “That’s the only difference this time around.”
“This time around? All this stuff, I can’t…you need to tell me everything.”
She laughed. “We don’t have that kind of time.”
“Just give me the basics. How many times have I, ah, lived?”
“For you? Four counting this time. For me? Well, I’ve been playing this game longer than I care to remember.”
“So, energy, like my soul, right? You’re talking reincarnation?”
She peered up at my face, her cheeks all chapped from the biting cold. “I guess you could say that. And this isn’t the only place energy travels. There’s many places…many worlds, dimensions.”
It was my turn to laugh. “So there’s actually a Middle Earth where magical dwarves and fairies prance around unicorns?”
Hmm, yeah, like this is a normal conversation, here in the woods–with superhuman Wilma.
“Are you that dense, girl? Care to explain why you ended up in a place full of land fish and water elephants? And where do you think Tarek went? Do you think he climbed a tree or something?” She left the crook of my arm and stomped her foot.
Dimensions? Could it be possible? The idea was hard to swallow, but what Wilma said made sense, even though the concept was totally irrational. Plus, she said all of it with a straight, albeit puckered face.
Her hand, ice cold, landed on my forearm. “Of course it’s possible, and you know it. Stop being such a dumbass.” She let go and stomped her foot again, blowing on her chapped fingers. “I hoped that trait would get funneled out this time.”
Wasn’t the first time she took a verbal jab at me, and it wouldn’t be the first time I ignored it. “And what about you? Who’re you in all this?”
Wilma stood proud, her head high. “I’ve been your Protector for three of your lives.” She smirked. “Though, this cycle has been most trying.”
“Again…sorry?”
She brushed some invisible dirt off her fleece. “And again, not your fault. This dimension isn’t exactly paradise.”
“Well…why did I choose this place?” I waved toward the park. “You said I chose before, to stay with Tarek. Where did I live before?”
She bit her lip as if contemplating whether to answer or not. “A place called Exemplar.”
“Okay, and so why did I choose here this time?”
Wilma closed her eyes tight and shook her head. “There are some things I can’t ever tell you.”
“Did I do something bad?”
“Please let it go. If not, I’ll have to leave.”
Not wanting her to go anywhere, I changed the subject again. “What’s a Guide?”
Her mouth puckered before she asked, “Huh?”
“You said something about choosing to be a Guide.”
After a dramatic slap to her forehead, Wilma raised her hands to the sky. “Why do I say too much?” She pointed a reddened finger in my face. “This is your fault, always getting me mad, making me say things I shouldn’t.”
“What is it?”
She huffed and stomped her foot yet again, but I kept my eyes level, not backing down. The cold seemed to have no effect on me, heat rushing through my arms and legs. “Wilma?”
“Oh, fine!” She shoved a stray curl out of her eyes. “A Guide controls the energy after the corporeal form dies. At least, they control it long enough to decide which dimension suits it.” I raised an eyebrow, prompting another foot stomping. “You’re energy readers, damn it. Your kind takes energy and moves it to where it needs to go, where it deserves to go. Tarek and I…we’re Protectors, the ones who get you where you need to be, protect your kind when you do stupid stuff.”
I felt a twinge of supremacy. “So, we’re angels.”
“Oh, you like that idea, don’t you?” She resumed her most comfortable stance: arms across chest. “You’re nothing like angels because angels don’t exist. Nobody’s that pure.”
Twinge gone, but it had me thinking of something else. “Not even God?”
“They love it when people call them gods, trust me.”
“Who?”
Wow, she hated answering questions. “The Energy Wardens.”
“Energy Wardens?”
“It’s like I’m talking to an infant.” After another impressive huff, she continued, “The beings in each realm who h
old the released energy until Guides can transport it.” She scoffed. “Your so-called Gods.”
A slap in the face would’ve hurt less. All the information she grudgingly gave denounced anything I’d ever known. And why wasn’t Tarek supposed to find me? And why was my mind going all ADD?
She grabbed my arm and closed her eyes. After a second, she let go and yelled into the night. “Why do I say too much?”
Yeah, but not enough to let me know why I ended up in a trailer park. “Why wasn’t he supposed to know? You said we were…close.”
“Close? Ha! Now that’s an understatement.” She shook her head. “No, he wasn’t supposed to know. No one aside from me was supposed to have known. But I’m sure you’ll be seeing more of him.” She looked up as though she expected him to drop down any minute.
I followed her gaze, a mixture of fear and excitement jutting through my body at the idea of seeing him again. But one more question needed to be answered–the most important question. “Who’s trying to kill me?”
Her eyes found mine. “I don’t know, but whoever wants you gone, wants it to be permanent.”
“What do you mean?”
“If your body dies in Arcus, squid land, your energy stays–for good. The Warden doesn’t allow Guides to take any energy out of his dimension. And energy stuck there…it’s not pretty.”
“What should I do?” For the first time since leaving my room, fear had my knees shaking.
She grabbed my hands. “Stop being so afraid, Lena. It weakens your body, makes you vulnerable, an easier target to whoever is trying to take you. And I…I’m not allowed to be with you all the time.”
Another tear escaped, leaving a hot trail on my cheek. “I don’t think I can.”
“Yes, you can. You’re the strongest person I know.” She wiped the wetness from my face.
We heard footsteps getting closer to our spot. The potheads were soon close enough for us to make out their skinny bodies and smell the pungent smoke sitting on their coats as they joked and punched each other.
“Go home. Get some sleep, but know if your fear gets the best of you, you might end up going through the bed again.” She looked around me, at the boys, before continuing. “I need to talk to Tarek, figure out what’s going on.”
“What if I can’t control the fear?”
Wilma folded me in her generous arms. “I know you can.”
“How do you know?” I said, clinging to her.
“I just do. Besides, I always know where you are. And if Tarek has his way–and he usually does–not a soul will have the power to scare you. He won’t let them.”
“Don’t leave.”
The boys grew louder, but I held onto her, my arms refusing to let go.
Her hands patted my back as her voice grew thick. “I don’t have a choice.”
She left my arms and headed farther into the woods. In minutes the wind howled, followed by complete silence.
Tarek
Tarek paced his front yard, seething. For her to dismiss him, force him to leave?
Not this time.
He tried to open another portal at least a hundred times after Wilma dumped him on his doorstep, but the bitch locked him out, barred him from Lena. Again.
He raised his arm one more time, and still the sky refused to open. She couldn’t keep him out forever. Her strength might be superior to his, but it wasn’t infinite. That much he’d figured out over the years when he and Lena needed time without her hovering…or when Lena needed Wilma away when she’d been working on something.
Pain stabbed his chest. During one of those times, when Lena had asked him to distract Wilma–piss her off more like–so she could work, was when everything went crazy. If Wilma were at Shalen that day…Lena might still be with him.
The howling wind stopped his pacing. He turned to see Wilma drop from her portal with more grace than his forced trip home. He stalked toward her, his fists curling.
He swung.
If it were any other person, the hit would’ve dropped her to the ground.
Not Wilma.
She dodged, swinging with an uppercut, knocking him clean on his ass. Jaw throbbing, he jumped to his feet and tried again. This time she grabbed his arm and twisted it behind his back, bringing him to his knees in front of her. “As much as I enjoy kicking your ass, there are more important things we need to be doing.”
She pushed him to the ground, his face landing in a heap of mud. Tarek stood, wiped the grit from his eyes, and hoped his hatred smacked right into her self-righteousness. “Seventeen years, Wilma. Seventeen years you’ve kept her from me. And when I manage to find her, you send me away?”
The woman didn’t flinch. “I couldn’t tell you or anyone else. It goes against the rules. You of all people should understand what would happen if Lena found out about all this.”
Desperation caused his voice to pitch and crack. “You’ve broken the rules before to keep her safe.” He pulled his hair to transfer the emotional ache to physical. “You knew she faced a cycle of pain, and you let them do it anyway.”
Fire shot through Wilma’s eyes. “I made sure they didn’t eliminate her energy. I did what I could to keep her alive. Now all that’s fucked.” She swiped at the dirt on her cheek and curled her lip. “She knows about us. And someone else knows where she is, too.”
Panic tickled the back of Tarek’s neck, anger changing to something worse. Right. The main reason Mateusz helped him. To find the rogue. “Do you know who?”
She squeezed the bridge of her nose. “No. All I know is something tried to pull her into Arcus–twice–and succeeded with the last attempt. I pulled her out before she drowned in that damn river.” She hesitated. “I saw him. Casimir. Standing at the bank.” She glanced over his shoulder. “He didn’t even try to get her…and the way he looked at me…”
He slumped to the ground, landing on a mound of dirt. Arcus? Shit. And that the dimension’s Warden had something to do with it…double shit. One rogue was easy. Tack on a Warden? Not so easy. “I need to be there.”
“For what? What can you do that I can’t? Besides, the Synod would never allow it.” She began to pace. “I tried to figure it out on my own the first time, but the girl can’t control the fear.” Eyes wild, she stopped the frantic grass stomping. “Casimir has gotten his hands on some Protector energy. It’s weak, but that’d be the only way he could pull her through. That’s the only explanation that makes sense. We need to tell the Synod. I definitely need to tell Cassondra, and–”
He leaned forward, alarm rippling through his spine. “Wait, no, Wilma–”
“They have more resources, ways to find out…and Cassondra can convince Casimir to stop whatever it is he’s doing, give up the Protector energy.”
“Cassondra will find a way to end her cycle. It’s happened to others who went up against her brother.”
Her face scrunched, the pain of the truth blotting her cheeks. “No, no, they’ll–”
“Destroy her energy permanently as soon as the opportunity arose, especially if Arcus is involved. You know Cassondra.” His eyes pleaded with hers. “Please, Wilma. I know you love her. Don’t let those bastards decide her fate again.”
It was common knowledge she’d pleaded for Lena’s life. Protectors weren’t allowed to intervene when the Synod decided fates of so-called criminal Guides. But when they accused Lena, Wilma stepped in and pleaded for her life, not caring about rules or convention.
If she hadn’t, Lena would’ve been executed, her energy dispersed–deleted. If the bastards found out about the most recent development, they wouldn’t listen to Wilma this time around. They’d send in the authority, get rid of the problem. Get rid of Lena for good.
He stood, keeping his eyes on Wilma. If she said no, he’d get Lena to a dimension where no one would be able to touch her and figure out the rest later. But what he said seemed to be working because she stopped pacing, and the pain in her face abated. “How’re we gonna pull it off without
them finding out?”
“It’s already handled.”
She snorted. “How? Mateusz? You still trust that old bastard?”
“Of course I trust him.”
A sneer twisted her lips, and her eyes hardened. “Lemme guess. He’s the one who told you about Lena.”
Tarek shook his head, making sure his face gave nothing away.
“Bullshit,” she said. “If we’re doing this, there’s no secrets, got it?”
He took one breath and nodded. “Fine, yes, he told me. He also said…Shit. He also told me an Exemplian is messing with her.”
“This is getting messier and messier by the second.” Wilma bit her lip, lost inside her head.
Walking to the closet tree, he plucked two apples from the lowest branch. He threw her one and crunched into the other after wiping some of the mud off his mouth with a sleeve. The tart juice ran to the back of his throat and dribbled on his chin. She held hers and squeezed it as though it were a piece of clay. Tarek kept eating, studying a patch of lilacs. He knew she’d agree. He’d just have to wait her out, let her make the decision.
Wilma sighed, putting her head down. “She’s different this time around.”
“I’m aware.”
“You can’t tell her why she’s there. If you do, the Synod will never let her come back next cycle. They’ll claim her repentance false.”
“Do you think I’m stupid?”
She ignored that, answering loud and clear, and said, “She’s…nicer this time, sensitive.” Her eyes drooped, and the corners of her mouth turned down. “She’s been through a lot, dealing with issues you will have to endure quietly. You have to let her suffer. It’s part of her punishment.”
Fear crept into the corners of his brain, twisting his gut. “I’ll protect her.”
“You can’t, not from everything.”
He took another bite of his apple instead of answering. Allowing her to suffer…he’d have a hard time. But if it were the only way to bring her back here, he’d deal. He’d have to.
She made a sour face. “And you’re dressed like a giant fairy. All you need are some glittery wings. Probably scared the hell out of her.”
