When he returned in his father’s clothing, it took my breath away because it was like seeing Elijah when he was his age. He was a handsome boy, just like Elijah had been. His appearance took me a little by surprise, but it didn’t make me sad the way it may have even a week ago. While I tied the black bow tie around his neck, he got a serious look on his face as though he were pondering some serious issue.
“What’s wrong with my handsome son?” I asked.
“I was just curious about something,” he answered.
“What’s that?”
“Are you planning on marrying Doc Bradley?” he asked sincerely.
I nearly choked on the deep breath that I pulled in.
“Why would you think a thing like that?”
“I don’t mean any disrespect, Mam, but you’re still young and the younger kids could use a papa.”
“They have a papa,” I stammered.
“Jah, but you love the doc, right?” he asked innocently.
“I loved him when he was a young boy and I was just a young girl. We are adults now and just friends.”
“But I know you’re lonely, Mam,” he consoled. “And if you loved him once, then surely you could love him again, jah?”
“Being lonely ain’t a reason to marry somebody. I loved yer papa, and we had time to court proper-like. Doc Bradley is only coming to dinner, not to court me. And we are just friends, okay?”
I looked him in the eye, waiting for him to answer, but he cast his eyes downward and walked away as though he were disappointed in my answer. Until then, I hadn’t realized he might have been referring to himself as needing a father around. It had been the hardest on Eli to live without Elijah because he had taken on most of the responsibilities that his father could no longer fill.
I wonder if Bradley will offer to marry me. No. That’s foolish. What man in his right mind, wants to marry a widow with six children? And I don’t want him proposing out of pity.
I had mixed feelings about Eli’s statement, but I wondered about the possibility of falling in love with Bradley enough to want him as a husband. The way I was feeling, I couldn’t see ever falling in love again; even with someone as handsome as Bradley. I had loved him when we were kids, but I had outgrown him when I moved away and fell in love with Elijah. Childhood crushes didn’t count in my line of thinking—it defied all logic as I knew it. Still, Eli had been right about me being lonely, and I longed to be loved again.
After Eli left the room, I experimented with my hair a little, wondering how I should put it up on my head. Eva entered the room asking for help in putting her kapp in place. We only wore them to church services and family gatherings, for that was not something Elijah ever enforced as a daily rule. He accepted that his children were not fully Amish, so he did not normally expect strict rules to be followed regarding the Amish attire.
I pinned the kapp snugly to her head and tied the string loosely, while she complained that the pins pinched her scalp. Since Bradley had said the incubation period for the chicken pox was past, I figured it was safe to take the children to church with me. I knew if nothing else, they might relish the opportunity to play out in the yard instead of sitting for such a long service. Abigail assisted me in getting her into her dress, while Elizabeth begged for help in finding matching stockings. I made one final inspection of my children, then, gave Eli the cue to go out to the barn and hitch the horses to the buggy so we could ride to church.
Eli steered the horses, keeping their pace in check. Elijah had done a fine job of teaching his son how to train his horse. Thinking about my deceased husband no longer caused me pain, but brought me joy as I watched the bits of him that still existed in his children.
TWO
A TIME OF TESTING
The tiny church was overcrowded, making the room unbearably warm. The children and I took a seat in the back of the church, hoping it would be cooler near the double doors that hung open. Bradley, who had been greeting several families up front, spotted me and walked toward where we were sitting. He tipped his hat and bowed slightly to me.
“May I sit with you and your lovely children on such a fine day?” he asked politely.
“Yes…sir,” I stammered.
Eva pushed across me, leaving the only open seat on the bench right beside me. I felt a little awkward having him next to me, but concentrated instead, on the reason I was at the church in the first place.
Keep your eyes on the Lord, Jane. I am here to worship, and I ain’t got any reason to be looking to the left or to the right.
I perched my chin in an upward fashion, determined to listen to every word that the preacher was saying. I would leave the worrying to God, and I would pay attention to Bradley at dinner after the service. Meanwhile, the preacher spoke of leaving your past behind you and moving forward in God’s will. I took that to mean that I was doing the right thing by not dwelling on Elijah’s death any longer, and that resuming my friendship with Bradley was probably not a bad thing. I wasn’t certain what God had planned for my future yet, but I was open to His will.
Eva fidgeted somewhat with her kapp, looking as though she would start whining. Bradley held his arms out to her, and she went to him without question. He sat her on his lap and began to adjust the pins in her headdress. When he was through, she smiled happily, stepped down from his lap and quietly resumed her spot on the other side of me. I was impressed by the gentleness that he displayed since he had no children of his own to have gained such a quality. I looked into his blue eyes and the familiar friendliness that his face held. A smile brightened his face, causing me to return a weak smile in his direction. I tried my best to tone down the look just a bit, not wanting to appear flirtatious, even though I felt elated by his attention toward me.
By the time the service ended, the sun hovered high in the sky, causing all of us to fan ourselves from the heat. The buggy ride home was slightly breezy, but the tight squeeze from our entire family riding together was almost unbearable. We had outgrown this buggy years ago, but Elijah never saw the need to get a second one. The one we owned was the biggest that the buggy-maker had, and even it was a tight fit for all of us. Bradley had offered to take the two younger boys with him, but I didn’t think that it would look too proper, so I declined his suggestion.
After the horses had been tended to, Bradley and the boys exited the barn. I watched them from the kitchen window as they started a game of catch with the baseball, while I prepared a crust for an apple pie. The fire in the stove was quite warm by this time, and was nearly ready for the chicken to begin roasting. Abigail and Elizabeth peeled potatoes, while Eva ran to the hen house for fresh eggs that would be hard-cooked for an appetizer. After I assembled the pie, I put it aside and sifted through canned jars in the pantry looking for green beans, then, located the spices that I would rub on the chicken before I placed it in the wood cook-stove.
Once the chicken was roasting, I poured lemonade for everyone and went out to the porch to get a little cool, fresh air. After serving the lemonade to the children, a worn out Bradley joined me on the porch swing as we sipped a glass of the tart refreshment.
“Thanks for playing ball with the boys,” I said, breaking the silence.
“It was my pleasure, Jane. I haven’t had a chance to play in such a long time, I nearly forgot how,” he chuckled.
“Well, by watching you with them, you’d never know it. I think they liked not having to fight for all the attention the way they do when my brothers play with them. Their own sons cause my boys to feel some jealousy sometimes when they all play together.”
“I enjoyed playing with them. Anytime they need a man to spend time with them, I hope you’ll think of me. Since I don’t have any children of my own, I think it would do me some good too. They seem to need a friend just as much as I do,” he chuckled further.
“I appreciate the offer, but I wouldn’t want to take you away from your duties as a doctor.”
“Nonsense! I’ve got plenty of free t
ime—almost too much sometimes,” he stated.
“Well, then, I suppose it’ll be okay,” I choked.
The wind teased the curls alongside of my face, causing them to sway in the breeze. Bradley looked at me for what seemed to be a long time, then spoke softly.
“I think you are more beautiful now than you were when we were kids,” he said boldly.
I blushed deeply at his statement, not knowing whether he was paying me a compliment or getting fresh. I didn’t dare look at him, fearing that my embarrassment would show in the deep red hue that heated my cheeks.
“This entire week has seemed like a dream to me. I still find it hard to believe that I am sitting next to you after all these years,” he said excitedly.
“It is truly a miracle from God himself,” I said, not looking up.
“Do you remember our little wedding ceremony we had as kids?”
I dreaded him bringing that up, but now that he had, I felt determined to change the subject.
“We were just kids; and it was only for fun, you know. Do you remember the first time we met?” I asked, trying to redirect the subject.
“Yeah. I remember you making fun of my southern accent and the way I dressed,” he laughed.
“I’m sorry. I was such a rude child,” I admitted.
“I knew it wasn’t your fault. How is your mamma these days?”
“She accepted Jesus right after that last summer I saw you. I used the Bible you gave me to read her the scriptures. I still have that Bible, you know.”
“You do?” he asked, his deep southern drawl prominent in his tone.
“Jah, I’ve kept it at my bedside all these years. It’s getting pretty worn, but I still use it,” I confessed.
He smiled and I smiled a full smile back at him—the first since we were kids. I excused myself to put the rest of the food on the stove, and he resumed his play with the children. I watched again from the kitchen window as they played tag. Bradley picked up Eva so she wouldn’t be tagged, which made the other children yell “no fair” at them. When it was Bradley’s turn to be “it”, he tossed aside his cane and hobbled around, favoring his right leg. He managed to get around surprisingly quick when it was to his advantage, and the children seemed to enjoy the challenge. I smiled as I watched them play happily for the first time since their father’s death. Perhaps Bradley had been correct in saying that it would be good for them to have him around.
While I waited for the food to be ready, I set the table. At the head of the table, at Elijah’s place, I put a child’s sized glass, intending not to put another man in my deceased husband’s place. It seemed foolish, but I wondered if the children might see it as a betrayal to their father, and I wasn’t certain I was ready to see a man sitting there. I placed a large glass in my usual place, and set a place for Bradley beside me. It seemed to be a no-win situation no matter where I put him, so I left it the way it was and left the dining room.
When I went out to alert Bradley and the children that it was dinnertime, they were nowhere to be seen. I clanged the dinner bell and they all walked up from the path beside the barn. Each one, including Bradley, had fresh picked flowers in their hands, which they handed to me before entering the house.
“I thought it would be nice to have fresh flowers to set on the table,” Bradley said as he handed me his handful of the colorful blossoms.
“Thank you for the flowers,” I said to each of them as I placed a vase containing the flowers in the center of the dinner table.
I showed Bradley to his place next to me, while Eli took his father’s place at the head of the table. None of the children questioned the seating arrangement, but seemed to enjoy sitting out of order for a change. Our normal places were youngest to oldest, with the boys on one side of the table, while the girls and I sat on the other. In the past, I normally took the seat next to my husband, but for this dinner, no one sat in his or her usual spot.
“May I have the honor of blessing the food?” Bradley asked politely.
I glanced at Eli in time to catch the look of surprise on his face at Bradley’s request, but I nodded my consent.
“Dear Lord, I am grateful for your many blessings, including finding my friend, Jane,” he began. “Thank you for the fun that I have had with her children, and thank you for this wonderful food that is before us. Please bless the hands that have prepared it, and bless our fellowship time this day. In Jesus precious name, Amen.”
“Amen,” we said in unison.
I stood up to serve the food, and Eli suggested that we could just pass the dishes around the table for a change. I thanked him for the generous offer and sat down instead of serving everyone as I usually did. I was a little tired, and was grateful that Eli had suggested I sit and relax. Though I had become more accustomed to serving everyone, it made the dinner somehow just a little more enjoyable for me to be able to participate as freely as everyone else.
After dinner, Abigail put a fresh pot of coffee on the stove that was still warm from cooking dinner. Eli ushered Bradley and me to the porch swing so the table could be cleared. It felt a little awkward to allow Eli to take charge the way he had, but I was too nervous about being alone with Bradley to say anything to my son about it. I suppose in most ways he was becoming a grownup before my eyes. After all, I was courting his father when I was his age, but Eli seemed much more mature than I had been at his age. I assumed it was because of his continued education in the public school system. Attending the public high school and taking over his father’s role on the farm had made him a man before I was ready for it. In only two short years, he would be away at a college preparing to be a doctor just like Bradley. The two of them talked some at the dinner table about the teenager’s future, which made me realize that he would very soon stop being just my first born child, but a grown man. With his sixteenth birthday being only a few weeks away, I was beginning to feel the strain of being another year older myself in just a few short months.
“You look deep in thought, Jane,” Bradley interrupted my worrying.
I hadn’t realized that we had been sitting in silence for several minutes, until he brought it to my attention that I’d been quiet.
“I was just thinking that Eli’s sixteenth birthday is coming up. I can’t believe that he is that old—it sorta makes me feel old. My father wants to give him one of his ’66 mustang convertibles. He wants to fix it up with him, so that they’ll have it finished by the time Eli goes off to college. Where has the time gone?” I asked, not really expecting an answer.
“Your oldest son seams really determined,” Bradley stated.
“He has made me proud,” I countered.
“He seems like a wonderful young man. I would be proud, too if he were my son.”
His statement took me by surprise, leaving me wondering if he were inadvertently looking to be his father. He turned to me and looked me in the eye for a moment, then, dropped his head for a moment before speaking to me.
“May I ask you a question?” His eyes held a sort of hopefulness that made me feel uncertain about what he would ask me, but I nodded my consent.
“Would you consent to having me call upon you?” he asked in a straightforward manner.
“Why?” I asked, feeling a bit shocked by his request.
No sooner had the word left my mouth, than I wanted to take it back. I knew my tone had been a bit abrupt and I momentarily felt he would retract his question if I didn’t say something to change the look of hurt on his face.
“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to ask ‘why’,” I struggled to say.
“No, no, I understand. I hope you don’t think I am taking pity on you because you’re a widow, and all.”
“No. That never crossed my mind—well, yes it did, sorta. I guess I need to know what your overall plan is. I mean, do you just wanna get together sometimes for dinner with us, or were you looking for something of a commitment with me?” I asked slowly and cautiously.
“Both,” he said, a sm
ile bursting forth. “I have enjoyed this time with you and the children and I know that I want more of it. I think you and these children are what’s been missing from my life up until now,” he said happily.
I nearly choked on his bold statements, but they caused my heart to flutter with excitement. Before I could say anything to him, Abigail pushed open the screen door with a tray filled with pie and coffee. Bradley smiled and thanked her as she served us the treats from the tray. I sipped the black coffee, hoping to stall for something to say. Instead, Bradley spoke up while he poured a little cream in the hot beverage that sat on the white, wicker table in front of us.
“I know it may seem sudden to you, but I haven’t stopped thinking of you and these children since last week when I was treating their chicken pox. I understand that Amish tradition calls for a formal courting period before consenting to marriage.”
The Taming of a Wild Flower: Book Three (Amish Fiction/Romance, Christian Romance) Page 2
