“Sorry.”
“Don’t be. I’ve already shed a few myself.”
They stayed that way, Sarah seated and Reesa standing over her, her arm around Sarah’s shoulders. Like a family portrait, Sarah thought.
“Did they tell you when she would wake up?”
Sarah shook her head. “I’m not leaving.”
“No. You can have the extra bed.”
“And I’m not giving her back to Carmen, no matter what.”
“No, I don’t think they will allow her even visiting rights after this. She left Leila with a known drug dealer. One of them or both gave her drugs to keep her quiet, endangering her life. No. I think we don’t need to worry about Carmen anymore. If we ever find her.”
“She’s gone?”
“Let’s just say she hasn’t returned. When she does, it will be to a warrant for her arrest.”
Sarah jerked. “What if she comes here?”
“She won’t get past Wyatt.”
“He doesn’t have to stay.”
“I don’t think you have a choice about that. But I’m going to leave now. I called Danny Noyes. I want to write up my report and send it over to him. Get this show on the road, now that we have a catalyst.” Reesa looked over to Leila and shook her head. “You’ll be okay?”
Sarah nodded. “Thanks. I will.” They both would be.
Chapter 30
Sarah spent the night in the extra bed, and slept well, knowing Leila was in good hands.
Leila woke around dawn and called for her mommee and Sarah was there, the way it should be. The nurse appeared seconds later, but Leila had already dropped back to sleep.
“Perfectly normal,” the nurse assured her. “The residual drug is working its way out of her system. Your husband left earlier. He said to tell you he was going home to shower and change and he’d be back.”
Sarah frowned at her. Her husband. Wyatt? She started to tell the nurse he wasn’t her husband.
“And I think you should take the opportunity to do the same. Shower at least. There’s a package of toiletries in the bathroom.”
Sarah had a hard time leaving Leila, but finally she brushed her teeth and took a quick shower. And when she came out of the bathroom, she smelled coffee.
Wyatt was sitting in the chair holding Leila’s hand. Sarah’s first thought was to move him away. What if she woke and was afraid of him. What if—
He’d just saved her life. Sarah would make sure she knew what he did for her.
Reesa was sitting in the extra chair, reading the paper and drinking coffee from a cardboard cup. Another cup was sitting on the table. “Thought you might need a real cup of coffee.”
“Oh, I do. Thank you.” Keeping one eye on Wyatt, she moved over to the table. She looked a question at Reesa.
“He’s great with her,” Reesa whispered.
Sarah cut a look at Wyatt. He was great with Leila. She took her coffee over and kissed him on the cheek. “Thanks. For everything.”
THEY WERE DRINKING coffee and watching Leila sleep when there was a knock at the door.
Ilona Cartwright stuck her head in the door. Sarah bobbled her coffee and barely managed not to knock it over.
“Come in,” Reesa said and stood up.
Sarah cast a quick wary look in Reesa’s direction.
“I’ll be outside.” Reesa reached for her bag and coffee and started toward the door.
Sarah grabbed her arm and held her back. But she didn’t take her eyes off her old friend—more recent nemesis—and wondered what the hell was going to happen now. She braced herself for the worse.
“Reesa said you’re the one who got the stay on the visitations to Carmen.”
Ilona nodded. “I thought I was helping. I’m afraid I just set Carmen off.” She was looking less than put together this morning. Tired.
“Thank you,” Sarah said with effort. She wasn’t sure she should trust her. “It might have been worse if you hadn’t. Who knows what would have happened if they’d had her for a longer time before we found her. But—she looked toward the bed—“she’s still sleeping. You don’t need to talk to her?”
“No, I need to talk to you.”
Across the room, Wyatt stood and walked toward them, but stopped just a little ways off.
Sarah swallowed. Wary. Ready to strike out or do what she had to do.
“Not talk exactly, but I brought something I want you to see.” Ilona looked quickly around, saw the hospital tray by the bed, and rolled it over to where Sarah had been sitting. She opened her briefcase and pulled out two stacks of envelopes, which she placed on the table. There were a lot of them.
“What are those?” Sarah asked.
“They were in a box that was sent to me after my adoptive mother died last week. When I opened it, I found these. I was bringing them to show you yesterday.” She nodded toward the stacks. “Take a look.”
Sarah did, warily. Blinked. Looked again. One stack was addressed to Nonie Blanchard and written in Sarah’s handwriting. The other stack was addressed to Sarah.
“I don’t understand.”
“She never mailed mine, and she never let me see yours. See?” She turned them over, spread them out in two lines. All were still sealed.
Sarah held out her hand as if to touch them, pulled it back. “All these years . . .”
Ilona nodded. “I thought you had deserted me.”
“I thought you had betrayed me.”
Reesa took Wyatt by the elbow and they quietly left the room.
Sarah turned over the letters she had written so many years ago. Ran her finger over the printed “Nonie” on the first few. The loopy script of the rest. So many letters. All gone unanswered, not because Nonie didn’t miss her. But because she never received them.
“Why did she do it?”
“I think she was trying to protect me. I always resented her. I didn’t think she loved me. Maybe she didn’t, or maybe she did and didn’t know how to express it. She didn’t want me going back to the old neighborhood. She was afraid I would backslide, get into trouble if I ‘consorted’ with my old friends.” Ilona shrugged. “She was probably right.” Her voice wavered. “I wish she hadn’t done it.”
A whimper from the bed drew their attention.
“Mommee.”
Blinking furiously, Sarah rushed to Leila’s bedside. “Hey, sunshine. Are you feeling better?”
“Mommee?”
“I’m here, sweetie. Everything is fine. You’re safe. I’m never going to leave you.” She turned to call Nonie over, but Nonie was gone. And half the letters were also gone. “Just a sec, baby.” Sarah ran to the door, looked out. Nonie was just getting into the elevator. The doors shut.
Sarah went back inside and gathered up the remaining letters. All were addressed to her. Was she supposed to read them? Why did Nonie take hers and leave? They could have read them together.
“Mommee.”
“Coming.” Sarah gathered up her letters, and she was hit with a bolt of understanding. Once she had accepted the fact of the letters, Sarah had really expected to read the letters together. She knew it would be emotional, traumatic, embarrassing maybe, but she’d been willing to share Ilona’s discovery of the letters.
Wow. A big step for Sarah. Willing to let her once best friend, now a stranger, see her at her most vulnerable.
But maybe Nonie wasn’t ready for that. Maybe what her letters said would not bring them closer together.
“Mommee.”
“Coming.” Sarah carried the letters to the bedside, wondering where they would go from now.
She would read the letters that Nonie wrote to her, and hopefully Nonie would read the ones Sarah sent her. Nonie might decide to walk out of her life again. Or they might get to know each other again. They might even become friends again.
There was a knock at the door, and Reesa stuck her head in. “Can we come in?”
Sarah nodded and felt the beginning of a smile. A big, heartfelt u
nguarded smile.
Reesa came in followed by Wyatt.
A cry from Leila, and Sarah’s bubble of euphoria burst. She stepped between Leila and Wyatt. “I’m sorry, Wy. She just needs a little time to get used to you again. She doesn’t know that you saved her life. Can you please give us one more chance . . . but later?”
Wyatt ignored her. Walked past her to the bed.
“Wy—”
Reesa stopped her. “Look.”
Wyatt stood over Leila looking like a frightening colossus. Sarah tried to pull away and stop him. But Reesa held on.
Leila held up her hand, so small.
“She’s afraid.”
“Let him try.”
Leila said something, stretched out her hand.
Wyatt leaned closer. “What?”
Leila mumbled something.
Sarah wrenched away from Reesa, ready to push him out of the room.
But Wyatt laughed. Softly, hardly more than a breeze.
He took Leila’s hand, so gently. Her tiny hand disappeared in his. “High five, baby girl.”
ILONA SAT AT her dining table, a glass of cabernet at her elbow and the stack of Sarah’s letters organized by date. She’d originally meant for them to read the letters together, but she chickened out at the last minute.
Yes, Ilona Cartwright, barracuda lawyer, was afraid that she might embarrass herself in front of her oldest friend—her sister. Because they were no longer friends, and they were never really sisters.
She picked up the first envelope. Took her letter opener and with a bit of effort managed to get it under the flap. Sliced a line up the fold, then put the opener down and looked at the opening. At the folded paper inside.
She could stop now. Go on with the life she had lived as Ilona Cartwright. But if she opened it, accepted the missing link that lay before her, she knew she wouldn’t be able to go back.
Ilona pulled out the paper, unfolded it . . .
Dear Nonie,
I know it hasn’t been a whole week, but I miss you already. I’m hanging tough like you said. I hope you like your new home. Maybe they’ll want another girl. I hope so.
Your sister,
Sarah
Ilona folded the letter, placed it carefully back in the envelope. Reached for the next one.
SARAH AND WYATT brought Leila home the next day. She was clingy and cried as memory came back to her. She kept touching Sarah’s face.
“Mommee hurt?”
“No, sweetheart. Just a little owie. I’m fine. Everything is fine.”
“I want to stay home.”
“You will. You’re my forever girl.” Sarah mentally crossed her fingers. She knew it wouldn’t be easy. There were lasting scars even at this age. But she was ready to deal with them for as long as it took.
The questions was, was Wyatt?
She’d read Nonie’s letters to her and she’d cried for both of them. One girl left behind, the other torn from the only friend she had. Sarah began to understand how lucky they both were to have survived their youth and to have found each other again.
Or had they?
A WEEK PASSED.
Reesa called to say the police had picked up Carmen wandering the streets, unresponsive to questions. She was taken in for psychiatric evaluation. Sarah tried to be sympathetic but she just felt relief. They’d had a reprieve and if they had to go to court again, maybe she could convince Nonie to take their case.
Sarah reopened the store and finished the repairs on Mrs. Bridges’s violin clock. Jenny returned to her babysitting routine. And except for an occasional burst of anger or fear, Leila began to settle into life again. The two of them pulled the calendar off the wall. They would get a new one for fall. One, Sarah hoped, without visitations.
Leila didn’t go back to school. She’d enter pre-K in September. That was soon enough. Until then she’d be returning to her regular therapy sessions, and they would continue their Mommy and Me swimming lessons.
She and Wyatt hadn’t discussed the future, but he was definitely becoming even a bigger part of their lives.
Sarah hadn’t heard from Nonie. She hadn’t tried to contact her. After she’d read all her letters, she realized that Nonie hadn’t had the cushy life Sarah had thought she had. Oh, she lived in a big house and went to a fancy school. But she didn’t have love.
Sarah had been the really lucky one; she didn’t have a big house, but she’d had Sam and he was worth the world.
Maybe Nonie didn’t want to get to know her now. Maybe her pain just ran too deep. That would make Sarah sad, but she’d respect Nonie’s decision. Maybe one day she would change her mind. Until then Sarah would just have to play wait and see. Over the last few years she’d become good at it.
Sunday, she and Leila put on their swimsuits, Wyatt picked them up, and they met the others at the beach.
Karen and Jenny were sitting in two of the chairs. More chairs were set up, more chairs than usual, and Sarah wondered who they were for. Sarah sat in one, while Wyatt went over to help Stu with a big cooler he was lugging toward the umbrella.
“I’m hoping Reesa and Michael are coming,” Karen said, explaining the extra chairs.
“I thought he left.”
“They’re dating,” Karen said, and after a struggle, she broke into laughter.
“Forget it,” Stu said, positioning the cooler under the umbrellas. “We have too many carpools to think about dating.”
Karen smiled smugly. “We’ll see.”
The girls surrounded Stu and Wyatt begging to go wading.
“Mommee, come on.”
Sarah immediately tensed. She’d gotten in the pool, and she’d learned to love the beach, but she still hadn’t walked in the ocean. Wyatt stood looking down at her, then reached out his hand. “I’ll hold on to both of you.”
Reluctantly, but with a vague excitement, Sarah let him pull her up. The girls ran ahead with Stu. Wyatt let Sarah take her time. And then suddenly her feet were in the water, the waves rolling over her ankles without warning.
She jumped back, out of sheer surprise, then laughed. When she looked up at Wyatt, he kissed her, accompanied by a chorus of giggles and other sound effects.
Sarah wasn’t sure who kicked the first water, but by the time they returned to Karen, they were all wet and laughing. Reesa and Michael had joined Karen while they’d been gone. And so had Ilona Cartwright. She was dressed in beachwear for the rich and famous and looked totally uncomfortable.
Sarah ran up to the group. “I’m so glad you came.”
Ilona looked startled.
Sarah stopped in front of her, suddenly wary. “Aren’t I? Did you find more letters? Or is this business?”
“Actually, I have one more piece of paper for you.” She reached into her ever-present briefcase.
Sarah took an involuntary step backward. Wyatt put a supportive hand on her back.
Ilona stood up to hand her the papers. Their eyes met briefly, and in that moment a history of things felt, said and unsaid, passed between them. Ilona nodded slightly.
Reesa and Karen stood and moved closer to Sarah, demarcation in the sand.
“What is it?” Sarah frowned at the papers, while all the court documents she’d ever opened flashed through her mind. She looked up at Ilona, silently asking the question. A question that held so many questions.
And Ilona smiled. “Adoption papers. Judge Whitaker let me bring them today. You have a court date for next Thursday for the formal ceremony and signing.”
Sarah just stared. Tried to take it all in. “Is this for real?”
“Very real.”
Karen handed Sarah a towel. She wiped her hands and took the paper.
The girls ran up, curious to see what the grown-ups were doing. Leila immediately grabbed Sarah’s leg. Sarah pulled her close with one hand.
“Sarah’s going to be Leila’s forever mom,” Jenny blurted.
Everyone turned to Sarah with congratulations. Only Leila clung
to her leg, looking scared. Sarah picked her up. “You’re my forever girl now.”
For a second, time stood still, then Leila frowned. “I am?”
“Yes, my sunshine, you are. And I’m your forever mom-mee.” Sarah twirled her around. “And this is your forever family.”
“Bessie, too?”
“Bessie and Tammy and Jenny and Rory and Amy, too.”
“That lady, too?” Leila pointed to Ilona, who had leaned over to pick up her briefcase.
She was leaving? She couldn’t leave, not now. “That lady, too. Her name is Nonie.” Sarah caught Ilona’s eye briefly and found her Nonie she thought she’d lost. “And she’s my sister. Your forever aunt.”
Leila threw her arms around Sarah’s neck. Everyone else moved closer.
“My forever mommee?”
“Absolutely,” Sarah said.
Leila twisted around to see Wyatt.
Everyone turned to Wyatt. He looked trapped.
“Are you going to be my forever . . . Wyatt?” Leila asked.
Wyatt broke into a wide grin. “You betcha. I’m your forever, ever, Wyatt.”
Leila raised both hands. “Oh boy, hokey pokey five.”
THAT DAY AT the beach there was a lot of wiggling of hands, feet, and hips. A whole lot of hokey pokeying going on.
Sarah knew it wouldn’t all be easy. There would be times when Leila’s fears and hurts would rise up out of the past and make life hard. But Sarah would be there. And she had her peeps to help. And she knew Sam would be there, too.
Sarah Hargreave was in it for the long haul, rain or shine, for better or worse. She’d fix the now and carry on to forever.
Acknowledgments
There are all kinds of families. The family for this book included Kevan Lyon, Tessa Woodward, Elle Keck, Mary Gilroy, Irene Peterson, Gail Freeman, Susan Calt, Charity Scordato, Lois Winston, and the many foster children and parents who shared their stories.
To all of you, a heartfelt thank you.
Book Club Questions
1. In spite of Sam’s love and the security he gave to Sarah, she still has trouble allowing herself to love people and accept their love in return. Why do you think she has trouble with this? Do you think it’s because of her time in the foster system? How can Leila avoid a similar fate?
Forever Beach Page 33
