by Toni Blake
She dropped her eyes to the baby, stooping to swoop her up into her arms. “What’s wrong, angel?” she asked, trying to forget the thunderous beating of her heart, trying not to feel the slight trembling of her arms around her child.
“Waaaaaa!”
“Shhhhhh, Emmy,” she cooed, standing to rock her. “Shhhh, honey, it’s all right.”
Derek pushed his hands back through his hair and sighed. Damn it, he knew a baby would interrupt things. His instincts had been right all along. This had been a bad idea from the beginning and he shouldn’t have succumbed to his temptation for the pretty schoolteacher.
Still, he knew it wasn’t the baby’s fault. And¸ hoping Holly hadn’t noticed his reaction, he cautiously glanced up to watch mother and child. Emily’s crying had quieted and now Holly began played a game with her, tickling and rubbing the baby’s tummy. “Got your belly,” she was saying in a silly voice. “Mommy’s got your belly.”
He supposed most people would find it hard not to think they were cute together. And something about Holly’s eyes…as beautiful as they were normally, when she looked at the baby, they seemed to glitter with a new light.
He had to admit it made him a little jealous, even if that was childish—he’d like to be the one making those eyes light up so bright. And he had to admit that watching Holly with the baby somehow twisted his stomach, pinched something inside him. It was oddly endearing, and yet it made him uncomfortable. He decided it would be easier to just look away.
“So,” she said, suddenly returning her attention to him, “what happened? Why did the cat scratch you?”
“Well, after you figured out how dirty he was this morning, I decided to give him a bath.”
And to his surprise, Holly released a pretty trilling laugh, her green eyes going wide. “You what?”
“Gave him a bath,” he repeated, feeling a little defensive. “What’s so funny?”
She tilted her head, a lock of reddish hair falling down over one eye. “Is this your first cat?” she asked knowingly.
Why was he slightly embarrassed about it? “Yes,” he admitted.
“Derek,” she said, “cats are legendary for not liking water. As in, no one gives their cat a bath.”
“Oh,” he said. And hell—he felt a little dumb. “Well, my cat lives up to the legend.”
She smiled and settled back at the table, Emily in her lap. “So you named him Claws,” she said. “That’s really cute.”
“It is?” He arched one brow.
And when she nodded at him and smiled—damn, his heart did the bending thing again. And he felt wonderful and horrible at the same time. Why did he have to be falling for this woman? This woman with her tailored shorts and her crying baby. This woman who was so different from him.
And he was just thinking about leaning over and kissing her—when the phone rang inside the house. Swell—another interruption.
“I’ll be right back,” she said, hoisting the baby onto her hip as she rushed to the back door.
And he nodded, hoping his dismay wasn’t as obvious as it felt.
But damn it. He barely knew her, and yet everything she did seemed to excite and entice him. He couldn’t believe it, but he’d actually, truly been moved by watching her with the baby a few minutes before. He couldn’t understand it and it annoyed him. In fact, even just being here began to annoy him. He didn’t want to play daddy to any woman’s baby, no matter how alluring she was, so what had he hoped to accomplish by coming here in the first place?
“Derek,” she said, her voice suddenly tense as she rushed back out to the patio, “I’m sorry, but I’m going to have to cut the evening short.”
He stood up, letting his eyes widen. “What’s wrong?”
“My mother is having chest pains of some kind,” she said worriedly. “And instead of calling 911, she called me. I need to go over to her house, and I might need to take her to the hospital.”
Holly’s gaze darted forlornly to the house she’d just exited, her body starting to move first toward the baby carrier, and then back toward the door. Appearing befuddled, she hurriedly shifted the baby from one hip to the other. “I’ll need to pack a diaper bag,” she mumbled. “And make a bottle. I’d better grab a sweater for you in case it gets chilly. Of all the times for your Aunt Michelle to be out of town on vacation. And—oh Emily,” she said as the baby spit up all over the pink-ribboned dog on her outfit.
She rushed past Derek to grab a white cloth from the picnic table as he stood there feeling completely useless, then quickly scooped the mess off the dog and wiped the baby’s mouth. “I’m sorry, sweetheart,” she said. “Mommy’s so upset that she’s jostling you around and making your dinner come back up.”
Shit—how could he help here? He had no idea, but felt compelled to lift some of the load from Holly’s pretty shoulders. “What can I do to make this better?” he asked. “Can I drive you? Call someone? Whatever you need.”
She stopped, met his gaze with worried eyes. “It’s so sweet of you to offer, but there’s really nothing. If my sister was in town, I’d call her to watch Emily, but we’ll be fine.”
“Are you sure?” he asked. Then he looked around the patio, where dirty dishes sat on the table and by the grill. “I can at least clean up the mess after you go.”
Her eyes softened just slightly. “Would you? That would be great. One less little thing, you know?”
“I’m happy to,” he said. “And it there’s anything else…”
She pursed her lips, looking a little overwhelmed, but not answering.
And then Derek heard himself say the most shocking words he’d ever uttered. “I could watch the baby for you.”
He barely knew where they’d come from or when he’d turned into such a freaking good Samaritan—but he couldn’t help thinking it was one thing she might really need right now.
Even so, her brow knit doubtfully. “That’s really sweet, Derek,” she said, “but…I don’t know if that’s really a good idea.”
Yeah, he wasn’t sure it was a great idea either, but he couldn’t help remembering Aunt Marie’s last days. And he couldn’t stop seeing the worry in Holly’s eyes. “Look,” he said, “you don’t know what you’re walking into over there. And like you said, you might have to go to the hospital. Wouldn’t it be better to just leave Emily here with me?”
Holly sighed. “This is probably hard for you to understand…” she began, and he helped her out by finishing the thought.
“You’re probably thinking that you don’t even know me.”
“Well…” she replied, her hesitation confirmation enough.
“But I am your next door neighbor,” he pointed out. “It’s not as if you don’t know where I live. And I really just want to help you out. You’ve got enough on your plate right now without having to take care of the baby, too. And besides,” he said, leaning down to look at the baby’s face, “she seems to be going to sleep anyway. So why not just let her stay here?”
Holly bit her lip, considering his words. She’d never left Emily with anyone she didn’t know before. She’d even chosen Miss Carol’s daycare because Miss Carol was an old family friend. But everything Derek said made sense to her. Why drag Em out to her mother’s, then possibly to the hospital? And how attentive could she be to her baby while she tended to her mother’s pains?
She took a deep breath, finally conceding to herself that this would be okay.
“I’m not sure how long I’ll be,” she warned.
He simply shook his head. “It doesn’t matter. It’s fine.”
“All the important numbers are on the refrigerator,” she told him. “My mother’s house, Emily’s doctor, poison control…”
“Got it,” he said.
“And I’ll call to let you know what’s going on as soon as I can figure it out myself.”
Holly still felt apprehensive about the decision, but it would be much easier to see to her mother on her own. And despite the fact that sh
e’d only officially met the guy yesterday, she felt like she knew him, at least in a neighborly way. After all, she’d been watching his comings and goings for weeks and the worst behavior she’d seen was the fact that he liked to play his music a little loud. She supposed the most important thing at a time like this was what she felt in her heart, and when she looked there, she saw something in him that inspired her trust.
So she took a deep breath and prepared to hand the sleeping Emily into her neighbor’s muscular arms. “Hold her like this, supporting her head,” she said, demonstrating.
“I know how to do it,” Derek lied, watching her. He wanted to make her feel at ease about leaving the baby.
When she leaned near him, he cradled his arms like hers. And stepping closer, he held his arms beneath the baby, brushing against Holly’s stomach during the slow, gentle exchange as her warm arms slid the even warmer baby into his grasp.
She turned then and rushed back toward the house, and upon reaching the door, paused and looked back at him. “Thank you,” she said. “Thank you so much.”
“You’re welcome,” he replied.
He listened then as Holly dashed out the front door and started her car. He listened as she backed out and drove away. He listened to the birds still twittering in the trees that lined their backyards. He felt frozen in place. There was a baby in his arms.
He looked down at her and she back up at him. So she was awake, after all. Well, that’s okay—I can handle this.
Still peering into her eyes, he wondered what the hell she was thinking. He wondered if she would start screaming as soon as she realized her mother was gone. He wondered if she could sense how helpless he felt.
“So…Emily,” he said awkwardly, “looks like, uh, it’s just me and you for a while.”
“Gaaaaa.”
And he decided not to say anymore. He still felt weird talking to a baby. Then he remembered that he’d spent the last two days having conversations with a cat. Yep, he was definitely losing his edge.
“Okay,” he said to himself, spotting Emily’s carrier behind him on the concrete patio, “I’ll just set her in here, and then…then we’ll go inside.” Or…maybe he should try to clean up the dinner mess first. Hell, he didn’t know. How closely did she need to be watched? Could she tell he’d never done this before? He had a feeling she could.
He swallowed. How the hell had he managed to volunteer himself for this? What had he been thinking?
But that doesn’t matter. You’re in it now—deal with it.
And if he was honest with himself, it made him feel good that Holly had entrusted him with what was clearly the most precious thing in her life. It made him want to do a good job for her.
Lowering Emily into the carrier, he turned to the messy table. He gathered the dirty plates and napkins in his arms, but then wondered if he should leave the baby outside while he carried them in. He wasn’t sure what he thought might happen to her, yet somehow it didn’t seem prudent.
So he sighed and set the dirty stuff back down, then brought Emily inside. Setting the carrier on the dining room table, he went back out and gathered the dinner mess and brought it in to the kitchen.
Then he checked on Emily. What was he supposed to do now? Just stand there and look at her?
He and Emily stared at each other for a few minutes—and then he noticed a pout developing on her face. It was actually sort of cute, but he didn’t think it was a good sign.
“Waaa,” she said, puckering her brow.
“Geez,” he responded, glancing nervously around the room—for what he didn’t know—and then ran one hand back through his hair. “What’s wrong?”
“Waaaaaaa,” Emily cried much louder. “Waaaaaaaaaa! Waaaaaaa!”
“Oh brother,” Derek muttered as the baby broke into a full scream that he feared could probably be heard in the next state. The neighbors would probably think he was beating her. What the hell should he do?
Then he remembered watching Holly earlier. And he leaned down over the baby and tentatively slid his hands beneath her body to pick her up.
But it didn’t work. Still screaming, the baby seemed uncomfortable in his arms as he switched her from one to the other, then turned her around, then cradled her. “Waaaaaaaaaa!”
“I’m sorry,” he said above the screaming. “I don’t know how to do this. I don’t know what you want.”
He tried walking around and rocking the baby in his arms, but that did no good, either. Then he spotted the stuffed Eeyore she’d been clutching when he’d come to the door. He snatched it up and held it in front of her face.
“Waaaaaaaa!”
He wiggled the Eeyore back and forth.
“Waaaaa! Waaaaaaaa!”
He kept wiggling Eeyore, mainly because he was out of ideas.
“Waaa…”
And to his wonder and utter astonishment, the crying finally began to subside.
And then, then…Emily even smiled.
But just as quickly she frowned—so Derek shook Eeyore once more.
“Aaaaa,” she said very calmly, lifting a hand to touch Eeyore’s purple ear.
“Do you like Eeyore?” he asked.
“Aaaaa,” she said again.
But then her little brow began to crinkle, and her bottom lip pushed back into a pout. “Waaaaaaa!”
He wiggled Eeyore, wiggled him like he’d never wiggled him before—but Eeyore’s appeal had apparently waned. “Waaaaaaa! Waaaaaa! Waaaaaaa!”
Aw hell. Derek didn’t know what to do. A sweat broke out on his forehead. Maybe something was wrong with the baby. Maybe she was sick. Maybe he should call a doctor. He’d never felt so helpless and inadequate in his life. And he’d felt pretty inadequate before, so that was really saying something.
“Emily, I don’t know what’s wrong!” he said, exasperated.
And then he smelled something.
He sniffed at the air and—oh boy—it suddenly hit him full force. “Uh-oh,” he said, tossing Eeyore aside and then holding the baby out from him with both hands, suspended in mid-air. “That’s what’s wrong with you.”
In that particular moment, Derek wished desperately that he had a mother or a sister to call. Aunt Marie sure would have come in handy right now. But he was on his own. And he had promised Holly that he could do this, that he could take care of her baby.
He took a deep breath and tried to block out the noise of the wailing child. All right—keep a cool head here, Cassidy. Figure this out.
Still holding her out in front of him, Derek walked around the house until he found the nursery. Decorated in Winnie-the-Pooh from ceiling to floor, it wasn’t hard to spot. Going inside made him feel as if he’d just stepped onto foreign ground, into a place he didn’t belong. Everything around him seemed too soft, from the Pooh comforter in the baby bed to the pastel colors on the walls. But he couldn’t think about that now—he had an angry baby to deal with.
When he spotted a piece of furniture that was padded on top, he figured this must be a place meant for Emily. So he set her down, keeping one hand on her so she wouldn’t fall and using the other to snoop in the drawers and compartments beneath her.
Paydirt! He found diapers and wipey things and knew he’d come to the right place.
“Okay,” he said, now surveying her poodle-trimmed apparel, “how do we get this thing off you?”
“Waaaaaaaa!”
“You’re not much help, you know,” he said with a scowl. Then he set about the trying task of undoing buttons and snaps, finally removing Emily completely from the outfit, handling her little limbs like pieces of fine china. She felt fragile and he didn’t want to break her.
Next, he located the fasteners on the diaper and undid them. And just when he was beginning to think this wasn’t such a hard job after all, he pulled the front of the diaper down.
The contents assaulted his nose and eyes at the same time, forcing him to take a quick step backwards. “Oh my God!” he said. How on earth had she do
ne that?
Taking a minute to regroup, Derek pulled out a large handful of the wipey things. Then took a deep breath and, lifting the baby by her ankles until she was nearly suspended by them, he reached in and wiped, unable to watch what he was doing.
Grabbing more wipes and repeating the ritual several times, he finally decided that the baby was clean enough, or at least as clean as she was going to get, and he moved her naked little body away from the nasty diaper.
Using his fingertips, he lifted the heavy diaper into the garbage can now filled with messy wipes, the sight making him wonder over and over again: How does anyone stand this?
Finally—thank God—he got Emily into a fresh, clean diaper. “There,” he said.
Then, looking at the poodle suit, which lay in a heap at the corner of the padded table, he decided he’d probably never get it back on her the right way, and he didn’t want to do anything that might irritate her again. “Afraid you’re gonna have to go topless until your mom gets home,” he told her. At least the weather was warm, so he didn’t have to worry about her getting cold.
Releasing a huge sigh, Derek reached down and picked up the baby again. He walked to the living room and settled with her on the couch, wrapping one hand around her waist to balance her on his lap. He felt exhausted. And he couldn’t believe his date with Holly had ended up like this.
But what a selfish bastard you are. Holly’s mother could be in the hospital right now for all he knew, and all he could think about was himself. He was ashamed for being so insensitive, especially after having lost Aunt Marie so recently.
He glanced down at Emily, who sat calmly in his lap. “We’re doing okay here, aren’t we?” he asked her.
“Gaaaaa,” she said.
Well, at least the baby had stopped crying now. She sat placidly looking up at him, her eyes wide and filled with fresh contentment.
And he found himself peering down at her, growing oddly curious when he least expected it.
So on impulse, he reached out to touch the pillowy, pinkish skin of her arm. After which he sat there, a little taken aback, because he’d never felt anything quite so soft or smooth before. How amazing to know we all started out that way, that soft.
