by Misty Simon
Ben and I weren’t having any more children, so I welcomed any additional snuggle time with kids.
And Charlie could take a week or even eight off if he wanted to, as long as he still came in to help Mr. “Banana Hammock” Hanks with his purchases.
In fact, the big man was due to come in soon for an oversized shipment of those very things because he was going on some kind of singles’ cruise. I had no idea where he kept all these men’s thongs, but I never ever wanted to be invited into his closet to find out if he kept them separated by color or style.
“We weren’t planning on a late night, but until I can get home, the fun won’t be able to start.”
I barely held in my groan. I also didn’t want to know what their kind of fun entailed, since I knew for a fact Charlie liked to wear women’s underthings. Of course I didn’t know if he still did, now that he was out from under the thumb of the evil Jackie Sturder and in with the marvelous Detective Bartley. I hadn’t seen any telltale signs of bra straps on him over the last year or so, but I certainly wasn’t going to ask. Not my business.
“Uh, yes, well, I’d like my fun to start now. Ben and I have reservations over at Jerry’s place, so can he come down tomorrow to fill out the accident report? Maybe by then Rukey will have calmed down a little bit.”
Bartley rolled her eyes. “You have no idea how little Rukey is ever calm. We call him Dudley Do-Right when we’re not calling him Rookie or Yucky Rukey.”
I snickered, though I probably shouldn’t have. When do I ever do what I’m supposed to?
Bartley smiled but then got very serious suddenly. “You might want to watch your back, Ivy. He apparently has a notebook full of grievances, even though he’s only been with the force for under twenty-four hours.”
“Where’d you guys get him?” Not that I needed to know, but Detective Bartley and I still had a love-hate relationship going most days. I hated to see her making out with my assistant in the shop, and she loved to needle me. It was something, I guess.
“That’s none of your business. Now you go have dinner. I don’t want any more screaming or carrying on. I’m going to take Mrs. Crandall into the house and make sure she’s tucked in for the night, and then I’ll see you tomorrow.”
“Bright and early.” My, wasn’t I chirpy?
“Not so early. I still have that fun to look forward to.” And then she winked at me. Actually winked at me. For the first time ever. I really didn’t want to know what they had planned, and Charlie better not say a word about it to me tomorrow.
“Come on, Lone Ranger,” I said to Ben as I walked up to the golf cart. “Why don’t you take me home so we can get to our own fun?”
I turned my back on the dead judge because I was not needed. Yes, my curiosity was rising to the fore. I hadn’t been involved in anything like this in years, and it was all coming back to me. But this was my week. I was not going to go running around like a maniac, risking my neck to find out who did this.
Best laid plans and all that.
****
On my way through the door, I was already giving the gnomes their marching orders. Ben was very good about moving the rest of the gnomes outside, which boded well for the rest of the evening. I so did not want to have the full run of the place for the first time in forever, time to do whatever we wanted in whatever room we wanted, and have to hope some gnome wasn’t staring at my bare butt.
Once we had all the gnomes back outside where they belonged, I headed to our room to get dressed.
“Hey, what’s for dinner tonight?” Ben yelled from the kitchen.
These legs could carry me pretty fast when I was irritated. I was in the kitchen before I took my next breath. “I thought you got reservations for Jerry’s?” With my hands firmly on my ample hips, I knew there was no smile on my face as I stared him down. Oy!
He beckoned me over. I obstinately stood in the doorway. (Good word, wrong time to enjoy.)
“Ivy.” He drew my name out, taking a hand off my hip and lifting it to his mouth. After kissing each individual finger, he sucked a smidge on my pinky.
I’ll admit my knees went a little weak.
“Babe, go get dressed.” He kissed my cheek and then my eyelids and then just a soft whisper of his lips across my tingling ones. “I have several surprises set up for you. I didn’t forget. We’ve got dinner and then some horizontal mambo to do. Now, go get all dolled up. The limo will be here in twenty minutes.” And he slapped my butt on my way out the door.
A limo and a pat on the butt? That was what I was talking about! I would have liked some dancing in there, too, but I had a feeling that was not going to happen tonight. And really, though Ben had rhythm galore in the bedroom, he had not improved noticeably on the dance floor.
I hustled to the bedroom for a quick change. Fortunately, I had just seen Bella a few days earlier, so I had a fresh set of highlights. Not so fortunately, I had not yet lost what I still referred to as the baby fat, even though the babies were born over six years ago. Yeesh!
I went to the closet with a few palpitations going on in my chest, hoping I’d have something that wasn’t stained, or ugly, or, God forbid, brown. I flipped through the rack, getting more and more depressed with every clang of a hanger.
“What in the hell is going on?” Ben said, cranking into the room at full speed. My sobbing must have brought him into our bedroom. My wailing probably was what brought him to a screeching halt several feet from me, looking like he’d just found a banshee in the house.
“I don’t have anything to weeeeaaaaarrrrrr!” I was totally and completely being ridiculous. I hadn’t even touched the clothes in the back. Surely I had something back there that would fit, but I’d lost it before looking.
“Ivy, honey, come on.”
Cue the pouty lip. “I don’t want to come on.” Now cue the almost snarl. “And don’t you dare call me ridiculous.”
He laid a gentle hand on my rounded shoulder. “I wasn’t going to call you ridiculous. Get up, and let’s look. I bet you have something you haven’t looked at yet.”
He handed me a tissue as he raised me up. I knew for a fact I wasn’t pregnant, so this was not a hormone thing. I was just being a big old ninny. I sniffed and dabbed at my eyes. “Sorry. I wanted it to be a good night, and I feel like we’ve gotten off on the wrong foot.”
“There is no wrong foot with us.” He used his finger to swipe under my eye.
Thank God I hadn’t put makeup on yet.
His gentle kiss on my forehead went a long way to calming me down. “Now, go get all pretty while I pick something out for you. You’ll be perfect. You always are.”
And that’s why I married the man, even if it was at the end of a shotgun.
I shuffled away, feeling shades of the old insecure Ivy roaring to the front. I mean, for the last six years I’d been Mom, and I rocked that like I never thought I could have. But now that I was back to just being a woman, I was having a bit of a problem not hanging too much significance on the next week. I wanted it to be perfect.
“And it will be, because it’s with Ben,” I told myself in the mirror while I lined my lids and put mascara on. I always wore makeup for my job and for going out. I especially wore it when I went to get my hair done. I also made sure to dress up because otherwise Bella would have taken me out back and beaten me. With two active kids running around, sometimes you had to do the bare minimum and then get out the door. But tonight I was going all out and putting on the glitter.
Of course I dressed up for my hours at the Masked Shoppe, the costume and lingerie shop I’d inherited from my great-aunt Gertie, because I was still a businesswoman, but leisure time was all about yoga pants and oversized sweatshirts. So I guess I was lying to myself in thinking I didn’t dress up often. I was at the shop five days a week, since we were now closed on Mondays, for Charlie and me to both have two days off, and I wouldn’t dare go in there without looking at least halfway decent. But tonight was special. I wanted to blow Ben
’s socks off, and my wardrobe just wasn’t supporting that idea. I should have gone shopping.
As I put mascara on, trying hard not to poke myself in the eye, I couldn’t help thinking about poor Mac. I hoped they found out who had driven a stake into his chest. But then I put the thought out of my head. I needed to concentrate on my own stuff and leave the police business to the police. No matter how much I was itching to start asking some very pointed questions.
Maybe the tomato saboteur and the judge’s death had something to do with each other.
A knock on the bathroom door interrupted that train of thought and had me swiping the lipstick wand over my lips quickly before lifting my gaze in the mirror to find Ben standing in the doorway. I really hoped he had thrown a least a couple of things onto the bed. I had a ton of clothes from Bella from when I’d first moved here, and I knew the majority of them should still fit me. I just had to get back to that part of the closet. Not a problem.
Ben held a big box behind his back as he leaned against the doorway and gave me a slow perusal from head to feet that set my toes to curling.
“What’s that?” I asked, my back still to him, which let me gaze at him through the mirror. His brown hair sported a subtler highlight than the bleached-out tips he’d had when we first met, and he continued to spike it up in the front just like I liked it. He’d only improved with age. We were in our thirties now, as hard as that was to believe.
“I have a present for you.” His low voice made me all liquidy.
“I love presents.” My smile, big in the mirror, might have been a little forced.
“Ta-da!” He whipped out the box from behind his back and presented it to me laid across both his arms. I had a moment’s hesitation of Please don’t let it be some horrendous thing before I squashed that and grabbed the box.
“Okay…” I took the package and yanked it open, not sure what to expect. Last on the list of things I would have guessed would have been a beautiful, deep rose dress. It lay in its bed of tissue like a gossamer dream. I turned to set the box on the sink so I could get a better look, and because my hands were shaking. Just a little.
Spaghetti straps enticed me to pick it up delicately with both my pointer fingers and shake it out. It would hit me right at the knees after waterfalling down from the gorgeous sashed empire waist. Under the dress were a pair of shiny black high heels and a set of gartered stockings. “Ohhhhhhhh.”
“I thought maybe you’d like that. Jared brought it over when he came to do the gnome thing. Now, quick, get dressed, so our night can get started. I’ve waited long enough to get you into the back of a limo. Hurry!” He sounded like a kid on Christmas morning, and I was more than willing to be the present he most looked forward to unwrapping.
So I hurried, being careful with the stockings as I drew them up my legs, thanking God that I had shaved all the way up. The dress settled over my body like a cloud and felt like a million dollars. I looked like a trillion with it on. Very nice! Turning to the side in the full-length mirror attached to the back of the bathroom door, I admired myself. Yowza! I looked splendiferous! And that was a fantastic word I was going to savor as I reapplied the lipstick that I knew would probably not make it out the door.
I was not disappointed.
“Holy wow!” Ben said as I waltzed out into the living room. He quickly put something in his pocket, but I was too busy twirling to look at what it was. I didn’t even trip on anything during my impromptu pirouette. Go me.
I hadn’t been on heels this high in quite some time. Surprisingly, it was like riding a bike, though. My thighs and calves would hate me tomorrow, of course, but for right now I didn’t care.
I am woman, hear me purr.
I didn’t bother to reapply my lipstick after Ben kissed me senseless. We still had a car ride in the limo, and I was pretty sure he was going to be naughty. God, I hoped so. Applying at the restaurant before we got out of the limo would be soon enough.
Ben had the limo driver take the long way to Jerry’s restaurant, which was situated in a renovated old house. The fire there over six years ago had given the chef the opportunity to fix up the place magnificently, but I wasn’t in a hurry to get there now, since Ben was whispering in my ear and making me shiver like it was twenty-eight degrees outside instead of the mid-eighties of a warm August night.
We pulled up to the restaurant far too quickly, and I had to take a moment to fix my hair back to something that looked less like bed-head and more like artful messiness.
Jerry was standing at the door when I strutted into the restaurant. Ben had to grab my elbow to help me step over the threshold, because I was not nearly as steady on my heels as I had thought.
“Thanks.”
“Not a problem, sweetheart.” He smiled at me, making my heart go all fluttery. Thank God I still felt this way about him. I never wanted that flash of desire to die.
“My blossom, my lush pear!” Jerry came at me with his arms opened wide and a huge smile on his face. “You are here. As always, you will be fed divinely!”
I loved Jerry, really loved him.
“I can’t wait to be fed divinely, Jerry.” I smiled as he kissed me on each cheek and led Ben and me to our table. It was tucked into a corner and would provide plenty of opportunity for us to mess around. I was ready to be feisty.
Jerry pulled out my chair at the table. Once I sat down, I grabbed the bottom of the seat and hopped over to sit right next to Ben instead of across the table.
The better to do my lusty business, my dear.
He laughed, a low and wicked sound that did crazy things to my insides. I leaned in for a kiss only to have him give me a peck on the cheek as he waved across the room. Before I could squawk, he was up and halfway to another table, calling out the name of one of the judges for the Tasty Tomato Tournament in a few days.
Harrumphing, I sat back in my chair, not the happiest of campers. Who knew how long he’d be gone? I ordered when our waitress came over and asked for an extra set of cheesy bread to be delivered as an appetizer for one.
So much for a romantic evening.
Chapter Four
I was halfway through the third cheesy bread when Ben waved to me. I waved back with my cheesy bread and kept munching. Looking around the restaurant did nothing for me. I didn’t know anyone here enough to say hi, and those people I did know either didn’t want to be seen with me because they shopped in the back of the Masked Shoppe, or they were the old guard that I called the biddies. For those ladies, I needed my Bella buffer to get more than an upturned nose from them.
I sighed and twirled my bread around and around until I was dizzy. Ben waved again. I thought briefly about giving him the finger and then realized that I was ruining my own night out by being sullen. He was schmoozing the judges for the Tasty Tomato Tournament. Was the tournament still going to go on now that a judge was down? Why was it that no one seemed to be talking about the first murder in a long time? Was there something about the death that I didn’t know? Maybe Mac had fallen on the stake, making it an accident and not murder.
I was driving myself crazy with the questions, so I shut the door on those kinds of thoughts and just looked around, pretending I wasn’t driven by the need to see what Ben was doing.
The whole week being good did not depend on us spending every waking moment cuddled together. During our marriage we had always had plenty of time by ourselves, even with two kids, because we made it happen. I had to let go of this notion that this week had to be perfect.
I tried to do some deep breathing, but then I felt like I might suffocate on my own cleavage in this dress that Ben had bought me. See? Nice thing number one. And the shoes were divine. Nice thing number two. The stockings had slid down a time or two, but he had tried, so that counted as nice thing number three. And we were at a great restaurant. Nice thing number four. I could have gone on, but I saw Detective Bartley and Charlie enter the restaurant. For a brief second, I couldn’t decide if I wanted to hide under
the table or wave them over.
In the end I decided to wave them over because Ben had gone from standing next to the judge’s table to sitting down with him. Maybe Ben in his capacity as a private investigator was trying to find out what had happened to Mac, not schmoozing. Then the whole table laughed, and I figured that was not it. He was totally schmoozing and leaving me to entertain the lovebirds. This was not going to be a short conversation.
Then again, I didn’t have anywhere else to be and no curfew tonight, so what was I worried about? Let him have his fun. I’d have mine, too, and then we could have fun together tonight.
That put me in the right mood as Bartley and Charlie sat down at my table. Since there was only one chair, Bartley sat in Charlie’s lap. Oy!
There was much cooing and cuddling and canoodling. I was perfectly fine when Ben and I did those things, but I did not want to watch anyone else. I was a breath away from telling them to go get a room at the Babbling Brook Bed and Breakfast when they came up for air.
“And hello to you two,” I said, not ashamed I was a little snarkier than I really should have been. I threw a beady eye at Ben where he was still schmoozing, thinking that the two across the table should have been away on their own adventure while I saw how far I could get my toes up Ben’s leg without making him jump. I’d be doing just that if he were sitting here instead of talking up two older men and their wives. Sigh.
Turning my attention back to the lovebirds, I wished I hadn’t scooted the chair quite so close. Its new occupants were all but sitting in my lap now.
“Hey, Ivy.” Charlie smiled, and I couldn’t help but smile back at him. He had been such a trouper over the last six years, taking up the slack when I needed to take the kids to the doctor or had one or both home sick.
“Ivy,” Bartley said, getting my attention. I really should think of her by her first name—she’d been at our house for dinner and was a part of our lives now because Charlie was—but I just couldn’t make myself do it.
