She typed in her message.
Charity: Been busy. Everything is fine, and we’ll get together soon.
It didn’t take long for his answer to come back.
Damian: I’m free tonight. What do you say?
Charity: I’m exhausted and just want to stay in. I’ll call you tomorrow.
He first responded with a sad face, but then sent her a message.
Damian: Understood. Can’t wait for tomorrow.
She didn’t respond back, just put her phone back in her pocket and tried to focus on cleaning. She would call Damian and go to his place and lay everything out, telling him that this would have to end if they couldn’t be on the same page. That’s all there was to it. She wasn’t about to fall into another tough situation.
****
It was after midnight when Derek heard his phone ringing. He grabbed it from his nightstand and saw Jesse’s number on the caller ID. His heart raced as he answered the call. “Hello?” It wasn’t like Jesse to call so late.
“Hey, Buddy…I’m outside of your house. Let me in!” It was an order that Derek didn’t expect, but he willingly hurried downstairs and opened up the door. Jesse stood on the porch, and he looked like the cat who swallowed the canary. His eyes were large, and the smile on his face was bright. He pushed his way up.
He excitedly started talking. “Oh my God…I just had the best friggin night ever!” Jesse patted Derek on the arm and spun around.
Derek held his finger to his lips. “You’ll wake Mary!”
“Too late!” He looked up to the top of the stairs, where Mary was sleepily walking down the steps. “Good evening, Jesse.”
Jesse put on a smug grin. “Good evening. Sorry, I woke you.”
Mary snickered. “No problem. Would you like some coffee?”
Both Jesse and Derek agreed that they needed coffee, especially if Derek was going to have to hear all about the exciting news Jesse had. Mary disappeared into the kitchen, and Jesse and Derek moved into the den. Once inside, they took their usual seats and Jesse immediately started jabbering away. “Tonight was the best date I’ve had in a long, long time.”
Derek frowned. “Date?” He hadn’t spoken to Jesse since the previous day when Jesse was supposed to be talking to Ana and ultimately hearing how both Ana and Charity were doing. He wasn’t supposed to be gallivanting around town on a date. That wasn’t part of the deal. He started to express his irritation with Jesse when Jesse held up his hand and continued.
“Yesterday I called Ana numerous times, in fact, I don’t even think I can recall how many times I called and left messages for her. She never answered my call. I sent her a few texts…begging her to talk to me and every time they went unanswered.”
Derek sighed. “So you went out with some bimbo to take away your problems? Nice, Jesse. How do you expect to win back Ana at this rate?”
When he finished talking, he saw Jesse with his arms crossed and his eyebrows raised. “Are you finished?”
“Not really,” Derek mumbled. “But go on.”
“Anyway, before I was so rudely interrupted, I was saying that I tried several times to get Ana to talk to me and then all of a sudden…it happened.” Derek sat up straighter. Their conversation was interrupted for a few moments while Mary gave them their coffee, but after she had left and gone back upstairs to her bedroom, Jesse continued. “One minute I’m trying desperately to get her to answer the phone and the next minute she agrees to go out with me.”
Derek couldn’t believe it, but Jesse was one hundred percent truthful in that moment. “Wow…how’d you make that happen?”
Jesse shrugged. “I have no idea, but I wasn’t going to ask any questions. Tonight was seriously the best date I could’ve ever asked for. It was like we were two people that have always had an attraction for one another, but just are suddenly doing anything about it.”
Derek allowed Jesse to go on for several minutes, without interruption. It was clear how happy Jesse was by the way things transpired, and Derek wasn’t about to make him stop talking about that. However, deep in the back of his mind, he wondered if anything was said about Charity. Yet, he couldn’t come out and say that, because he didn’t want Jesse to feel that was the only thing he cared about. He cared about Jesse’s feelings, and he cared about if Jesse found love.
Jesse took a drink from his coffee mug, but his smile remained intact. “When I leaned in for a kiss at the end of the night, my fear was that she would smack me, but she didn’t. If anything, it appeared we were just both relieved to just go for it.”
“So, there’s plans for another date?” Derek asked.
Jesse smiled. “That’s the plan. I was so worried she would spend the whole time talking and yelling at me about what happened, but she didn’t. In fact…” he hesitated, before continuing, “I debated about telling you this part, but I feel you would want to know.”
“I can take it,” Derek replied calmly.
“Tonight started off with her telling me that she didn’t want to make the date about you and Charity. She asked me not to dwell on what happened.”
Derek sunk back into the couch. “So, in other words, you didn’t really discuss how Charity’s doing?” Derek asked.
“I asked, and she said that Charity is doing well, all things considered.”
It was those last three words that continued to hang on Derek’s conscience. “What do you mean all things considered?” Derek asked, afraid of the answer.
“She didn’t really go into much detail,” Jesse admitted. “I didn’t want to pry because I worried that it would come across as that was all I cared about and frankly…she was finally talking to me, so I didn’t want to push. Surely you have to understand that.”
Derek admitted that he did understand that. Plus, it wasn’t Jesse’s job to get Charity back for him. He needed to find other ways to make it happen. “I understand,” he sadly replied.
“I’m not giving up totally. After all, we’re getting together tomorrow night so maybe the opportunity will arise to see if I can get some information out of her.”
That would work for Derek. They both finished off their coffees and then Jesse said that he needed to get home and get some rest before work the next day. Derek walked him to the door and before Jesse left Derek commented on Jesse’s news. “I’m happy for you, Jesse. Really I am.”
Jesse smiled. “Thanks! Don’t worry, we’ll both be able to enjoy this being behind us.”
Derek hoped so, so he smiled. They said their goodbyes and when Jesse was out of the driveway, Derek went back up to his bedroom. Charity entered his mind as he got back under his covers. Before laying down, he grabbed his phone and typed out a message to her.
Derek: Thinking of you!
It was short, but he believed it would get his point across. He didn’t expect a response back from Charity, so he put his phone back down on the nightstand and laid back against his pillow. It didn’t take long for him to close his eyes and drift off to sleep. Dreaming of Charity was almost as good.
****
Charity stood outside the bathroom door and watched Ana applying her makeup. “Going out again tonight?” Charity asked, keeping the smile on her lips.
Ana glanced at her through her reflection in the mirror. She nodded. “Yep.” She finished applying the blush, then turned around and glanced at Charity. “Do you think I should’ve allowed more time before agreeing to date number two?”
Charity shook her head. “Not exactly! I saw how excited you were when you came home last night, and I just want you happy.”
Ana smiled. “You could be happy too, you know.” She winked at Charity and Charity laughed.
“I’m happy. Why don’t you think I’m happy?”
Ana shrugged. “I suppose I see it in your eyes.”
Charity smiled, and it hit her how hard it was for her to smile at that moment. Ana was right, she wasn’t perfectly happy, but she wanted to believe she could get there without Derek in her life. “I’ll let you
finish getting ready.” She backed out of the hallway and headed into the living room. She grabbed her phone off of the coffee table and typed in a message to Damian.
Charity: Will you be home tonight?”
Before she could put her phone back down, a message signaled, and she glanced at it.
Damian: Sure will.
Charity: I’ll be there in an hour.
She looked up when Ana walked out of the bathroom. “Are you staying home tonight?” Ana asked.
Charity didn’t want to lie completely, so she fabricated the truth. “I’ll go out…maybe take in a movie.”
Ana’s face lit up. “There’s a chick flick on at Georgetown Cinema. I believe it starts at seven o’clock. It got rave reviews. You should check it out.”
Charity smiled. “Maybe I’ll do that.” She hated lying to her, but she didn’t want to mention she was going to Damian’s house. She still wasn’t sure it was the best choice for her. A knock on the door made her breathe a sigh of relief.
Ana went to the door and opened it up. Of course, it was Jesse standing in the doorway. She kissed his cheek, then he tossed a wave towards Charity. “I’m not sure what time I’ll be home, but probably the same as last night.”
Charity smiled. “You’re a big girl. Have fun you two.” She waved as they left the apartment. Once they were gone, she hurried at getting ready to go to Damian’s. She didn’t doll herself up because it wasn’t like it was a date, but she made herself presentable.
She was out the door so she would make it to his house at the time that she told him she would be. The ride was rather relaxing, giving her time to think of the conversation she was about to have with Damian. She first practiced it in her head. Damian, I know we’ve been doing things that are complicated and down the line, it can cause confusion in a relationship, but we said we wouldn’t fall in love with one another. Then she would practice the words out loud, but most of the time she found herself gagging over the words.
By the time she arrived at his house and parked outside, she only had a couple lines that sounded halfway coherent. She glanced at her reflection in the mirror and said it once more. “Damian, I’m so sorry if this relationship has confused the line between us.” She sighed. “Love was never supposed to be in the cards for us.”
She closed the mirror on her sun visor and got out of her car. She nervously walked up to his front door. This was the first time since they started the arrangement that she could honestly say she was scared to death of being around him. She didn’t want to mess up her words because she cared about him, she did, but it wasn’t love she felt for him, and she needed, to be honest about that.
When she knocked on his door and waited, she nearly chickened out. She contemplated running back to her car, tearing out of the driveway, and never looking back. However, she was planted on his porch, and when he answered her and greeted her with a welcoming smile, she knew she had to be there.
“Hello!” He reached for her hand and pulled her into the house. “God I’ve missed you,” he smoothly spoke, then went in for a kiss.
Before their lips connected, she spoke. “We really need to talk.”
He stopped and pulled back from her. He tilted his head and nodded. “Alright. That sounds serious. What’s up?”
Her hands were sweaty, and she casually rubbed them down her pants. “Can we sit down?”
“Sure!” He nodded. “Do you want some supper. I made pasta.”
She wasn’t hungry. She just needed to get this off her chest. “Not right now!” She moved into his living room and took a seat on his couch, and he sat down beside her. “This is tough,” she slowly replied.
A moment of recognition lit up his face, then he looked away from her. “I don’t even think you need to say anything. You’re breaking this off…right?”
It was an out, and she immediately considered taking it. Then her response came out in a different format. “No…” she paused, “yes…I don’t know…maybe.”
He snickered. “It’s either no or yes…which is it, Charity?”
Charity looked down at the clenched hands in her lap. She wanted to bolt or crawl in a hole, never to be seen again. “I care about you, Damian.” She looked up, and their eyes met. “I really care about you.”
He smiled. “Then what’s the problem?” he asked. He moved closer to her, and Charity could feel the warmth of his body beside her.
“We made a deal.” Her voice was shaky, and when she searched his face, he seemed confused.
“A deal?” he asked. “What are you talking about?”
“We told each other this would simply be a friend’s with benefits situation.”
He nodded slowly. “Has that changed?” he asked.
She felt her face turn red, and she had to look away from him, while she explained. “I don’t know. You tell me. I heard you, Damian.”
His finger touched her chin, and he brought her face around so she had to look into his eyes. “You heard me when?” he asked.
She felt herself weakening as each moment passed. She didn’t want to continue the conversation. His insistent stare was also not helping her to move on with her words. She closed her eyes and focused on her breathing. “You said you loved me,” she replied, nearly squeaking the words out. She opened her eyes, and his stare went from being insistent to being heartfelt. His face softened, and he muttered something that was barely audible to the ear but was something like, oh. “If you meant the words, then we have a serious problem.”
His eyes shot back to hers, and he scooted back a little so they weren’t so close together. “Why?” he asked.
“Excuse me?” she asked.
“Why?” he asked again. “Why would saying I love you cause any problems?”
She frowned. “Well, for starters…this was never about love.”
He laughed. “Things have been known to change when you least expect it. My point is how would loving you completely uproot what we’re doing?”
Her jaw dropped. “Stop saying that,” Charity whispered.
He rolled his eyes, and she saw disdain in his motions. “You can be stubborn, you know that?” She didn’t respond to his question. She just remained seated and waited for him to continue. “If I told you I loved you would you run away?” he asked.
“I don’t…” she looked away from him, hoping to regain her composure. His questions weren’t what she anticipated hearing. She honestly thought he would immediately deny everything, so this sent a wrench into her plan. “Damian, let’s not do this,” she pleaded.
She went to stand up, but he touched her leg and kept her in place. “Answer the question,” he replied.
“Yes!” she blurted out. “If you told me that you loved me then I’d run as fast as I could and never look back. This isn’t about love, Damian. You and I made a deal to help take away the pain we were feeling. I don’t love you…” she paused and sighed, “not like that.”
He nodded, slipping his hand off her leg. “Then it’s a good thing whatever you heard was simply exhaustion and wine talking.”
Her mouth opened. “What?”
He nodded and a smile slowly crossed his lips. “I’m sorry if I uttered I loved you in my sleep, but I didn’t mean it. Frankly, sometimes I chatter in my sleep and can’t control my own thoughts. Did I say your name at that time?”
She thought about it, but even her own thoughts weren’t functioning properly. She was pretty certain Damian hadn’t said her name, but she wasn’t sure without a shadow of a doubt. “I don’t think so,” she quietly stated.
He smiled. “There you have it. I could’ve been talking about anyone. Maybe I was dreaming about Scarlett Johansson.” He winked at her. “She is my Hollywood crush, after all.”
Charity was dumbfounded. He seemed so convincing when he talked earlier about how she would feel if he loved her. She was certain he meant the words. Yet, now…he seemed convincing that he never meant the words for her. She couldn’t fully pick out the truth,
but she wanted to believe it was the latter. “I suppose you could have,” she replied softly.
He grinned. “I’m sorry if I worried you, but I don’t want this to alter our current arrangement. You do believe me, don’t you?”
She sighed. “I want to.”
He moved closer and brushed his hand against her cheek. Their eyes locked, and he never looked away from her. “Believe me, Charity…I care about you, but love is a strong word. What I’m feeling isn’t that.” His thumb ran over her chin bone, and he moved in. Their lips met, and the passion she always felt was still there, but one could have that chemistry and passion if it was lust and not love. She thought he was sexy and hot, and she didn’t love him, so it was possible. She had to believe that.
His tongue slid across hers, and she felt his hands slowly snake up the back of her shirt. She fell against him and slowly lost all doubts and worries. She was going to give him the benefit of the doubt and hope he meant his words because she couldn’t pull away now. She needed him.
Chapter 8
The next two nights went exactly the way the last night went. When Ana would go off with Jesse, Charity would go to Damian’s. She always made sure to be home before Ana was and things seemed to be going great. Then when Saturday night hit, she was surprised to find that Ana wasn’t going out with Jesse. Her first thought was that they had already hit the wall, and things were starting to go South again, but she noticed the smile on Ana’s face, and she sensed that wasn’t the case.
“I just thought we could to go to the Karaoke Bar,” Ana replied, casually.
Charity frowned. “Really? Jesse is alright with this?”
Ana laughed, shrugging it off. “He doesn’t own me, Charity. He knows I have a life outside of him.” She paused and her smile widened. “Things are going to well with him, and I just think that maybe this is what I want to do tonight. Are you free?” Ana asked.
The Proposal (Forever Bound Book 2) Page 9
