‘Max.’
‘Nothing. You’re with Max now and Henri can go swing.’
‘It’s not that simple, though, is it?’
‘Why not?’ Linda asked, picking through a tray of grapes armed with scissors to cut the rotten ones from the stalks.
‘Henri is Paige’s dad. We were a family.’
‘Until he ruined all that.’
‘That’s not the point. You’d understand if you’d seen how happy she was to see him. I owe it to Paige to try and sort things.’
‘I think you’re wrong,’ Linda said darkly. ‘I think it will be the worst move you’ve ever made to let that man back into your life… and especially back into Paige’s life, just like that. If he goes off again, imagine how much damage that will do to her. It’ll be even worse than last time.’
Bonnie sighed. ‘That’s not how Paige sees it right now.’
‘Paige will come round to Max, and she’ll see that he’s twenty times the bloke Henri is. Just give her time.’
‘That’s one thing I don’t have now that Henri is back.’
‘He went to a hotel last night then?’
Bonnie nodded.
‘Where the hell had he been anyway? I assume he offered some sort of explanation.’
‘He said he needed some time to sort his head out, he went travelling around the South of France, like he’d planned to do before we met.’
‘Oh, how lovely for him,’ Linda replied, her tone dripping with sarcasm. ‘What mental age is this man that you decided to have a child with? He has a bit of a bad day and decides that he needs to go travelling…’ Linda made little speech marks in the air as she said the word, ‘instead of looking after his kid like any decent bloke would have done?’
Bonnie was about to reply when the usual morning knock at the door announced Max’s arrival.
Bonnie’s expression turned to one of panic. It wasn’t that she hadn’t expected to see him this morning, but now that it was imminent, she didn’t feel like she could face him. ‘Oh, God, Linda, what am I going to tell Max?’
‘Nothing,’ Linda replied, walking calmly to the door. ‘Because Henri turning up on your doorstep is nothing to do with you and Max.’
‘But, Lind…’ Bonnie’s argument trailed to nothing as Linda slid back the bolts on the door.
Max stood on the step, wearing a huge grin. Bonnie felt her stomach lurch as she saw how happy he looked.
‘Morning ladies!’
‘Morning, Max,’ Linda said brightly.
Max gave her a good-natured nod and then turned his attention to Bonnie. ‘And how’s my girlfriend this morning?’
His smile was so warm, so full of tenderness that Bonnie didn’t know whether to run into his arms or burst into tears. She tried to force a smile back, but it felt stiff and unnatural. He noticed straightaway.
‘Are you ok?’ he asked.
Bonnie nodded. ‘I have a headache this morning.’
‘Oh,’ he said, ‘then I suppose I’ll have to sing your praises in a quieter voice today.’
‘Oi,’ Linda cut in, ‘never mind her praises, what about the woman who made it all possible?’
Max grinned but Bonnie shot her friend a pained look which, luckily, went unnoticed by him.
‘I think Fred was stressing about mouse poo again,’ Bonnie excused. ‘I’d better go and see if I can find where they’re coming from.’
Linda frowned but didn’t argue.
‘If you don’t emerge unscathed in half an hour, I’ll call you later,’ Max said cheerfully.
‘Yeah, yeah, call me later,’ Bonnie replied, and hurried into the shop.
‘Right then, chief cupid,’ Max turned to Linda, ‘let’s get the kettle on.’
Linda looked at him with a smile that was suddenly melancholy, as if she knew that very bad things were about to happen.
***
After managing successfully to stay busy until Max had finished bringing his delivery in and had left, Bonnie went about the rest of her morning in a daze. She worked on autopilot, serving customers, speaking and smiling in the right places, even from time to time getting orders right. But her mind raced as she worked through the tangled strands of her life. No matter how much she puzzled over it all, she was no nearer finding a solution that wouldn’t hurt somebody. The fact that she had been inundated with texts when she checked her phone at lunchtime did nothing to lighten her mood – Paige, Max and Jeanie had all messaged her with different requests, and there was also one of Holden’s now ubiquitous proclamations of undying love. Paige’s and Jeanie’s were easy enough to sort, and Holden’s could be ignored, as always, but Max’s was the one that gave her particular heartache.
How about a drink tonight? I know I’m not supposed to be this keen but I can’t help being nuts about you!
Henri was supposed to come for tea that night so that they could talk everything through, so while she knew that she would have to talk to Max before things got out of hand, it looked as though it would have to wait. On top of that, Bonnie still needed to break the news of Henri’s reappearance to her mum, and if she managed to do that without Jeanie heading off in the direction of her flat with a flaming torch and a pitchfork, that would be a minor miracle in itself. But it seemed cruel to put Max through another day of ignorance, and there was no way she could tell him what she needed to tell him in the shop.
She decided to message him to come and meet her at the Cheshire Cat – not the poshest pub in the world, but one of the few in town that had stayed free of noisy quiz machines and pumping music. At least in there it would be quiet enough to talk without eavesdropping daughters interfering. Telling Max about Henri was going to be hard enough as it was.
Bonnie took a deep breath, and then messaged Max with the details of the pub, telling him to meet her around nine, so that she would have plenty of time to get rid of Henri first.
***
When Bonnie arrived back at the flat, Paige was hoovering. Her face was bright red and the whole place smelled of a strange, clashing concoction of cleaning products.
‘What’s all this?’ Bonnie asked as Paige noticed her come in and switched the hoover off.
Paige wiped a hand across her brow. ‘I’m cleaning up.’
‘I can see that. What I want to know is what you’ve done with my daughter. Or have I stepped into a parallel universe where a Paige Cartwright lives who likes housework?’
‘Ha ha. Dad’s coming over tonight, isn’t he?’
‘Yes,’ Bonnie replied, ‘but he lived with us before and he’s sat in an un-hoovered room before.’
‘I wanted to make it nice for him. Things are different now – I’m older, I can do stuff.’
‘Paige…’ Bonnie began gently, ‘no amount of cleaning will make him stay. A dirty carpet isn’t what made him leave last time.’
‘Don’t be stupid, Mum…’ Paige frowned, but then she sighed and bit her lip. ‘I just want to make things perfect. Whatever it was we did before that made him go, I don’t want to do it again.’
‘You really want him to stay, don’t you? Even after all we went through you want him to stay.’
Paige nodded uncertainly. ‘He’s my dad, isn’t he? Why wouldn’t I want him to stay?’
‘He may be your dad, but that doesn’t make him a nice or reliable man.’
‘He’ll stay this time, I know he will. And we’ll be happy, a proper family just like we were meant to be.’
Bonnie didn’t reply. Instead, she glanced at the clock. It was six-thirty. She had an hour to make the decision that would affect Paige for the rest of her life.
***
How in the hell it had happened, Bonnie couldn’t say, but before she had realised what she was agreeing to, Henri had somehow wormed his way back into the flat and arrangements had been made for him to bring his cases over from the hotel the following day. She had been determined to watch for his glib lines, the empty promises whispered in a dreamy accent, and she was determi
ned that she would not fall prey to them this time. But here she was, driving now to meet Max after seeing Henri off with a huge grin on his face, with dread in her own heart and a terrible fear that she was about to make the biggest mistake of her life.
Pulling up in the car park of the pub, she was relieved to see that, being a week night, the place seemed relatively quiet. Max had insisted that they get some supper there and Bonnie hadn’t known how to refuse without raising suspicions that would lead to the whole sorry business being blurted out on the phone, so she had reluctantly agreed. Now, however, her stomach churned and the last thing she wanted to do was eat.
Max’s car was parked a short distance away. Bonnie had insisted that he let her meet him at the pub, making some excuse about not being caught out by Paige again, and he seemed happy enough to go along with it. It was like meeting Holden at the country pub all over again – some furtive, dirty secret that she had to keep hidden from everyone.
As she got out of the car, the wind whipping around her face, she looked up to see Max walking towards her with a huge grin. He almost ran the final few steps and pulled her into his arms.
‘Hey gorgeous,’ he said warmly, nuzzling into her neck.
Bonnie squeezed her eyes shut, tears burning them. It was almost more than she could bear – the smell of him, the feel of him this close, the love that seemed to radiate from the very soul of him. She threw her arms around his waist and clung on, resting her head on his chest and breathing him in like she could never get enough.
He kissed the top of her head tenderly. ‘It’s freezing out here. How about we go and get warm?’
Bonnie clicked the lock on her car door and then let Max take her hand and lead her inside.
The pub was warm and cosy with homely, muted décor, split into a bar area and a separate dining room. Bonnie had always liked it here and another time she might have been pleased to see its old familiar interior. She swallowed the ache in her throat as Max led her to a secluded booth by a window.
‘I’ve been saving myself since lunchtime, so I’m starving,’ Max said, rubbing the cold from his hands. ‘I hope they’ve got something left in that kitchen.’ Bonnie forced a smile. ‘How about you?’ Max asked, picking up the menu, ‘what do you fancy?’
‘I’m not all that hungry, to be honest,’ Bonnie replied.
‘Aha,’ Max grinned. ‘Just hungry for me, eh?’
‘I wanted to see you, yes…’
‘And I wanted to see you, Bon. I haven’t been able to stop thinking about you. I have such a good feeling about us, like I’ve never had before.’ He paused for a moment, his expression earnest. ‘I know we’ve only been together for days, but I feel like I know you so well, like I’ve been with your forever. Do you think that’s weird?’
‘No,’ Bonnie said, struggling to keep her voice even. ‘I don’t think it’s weird at all.’ She fought to keep her emotions in check. She had known all along that letting Max get close to her was a stupid idea, that it would only end badly, and here was the proof. Never again would she let her heart rule her head. She paused, ready to continue, but Max interrupted.
‘I’ll get us a drink from the bar,’ he said, giving her hand a squeeze across the table. ‘What do you want?’
‘Just a coke, thank you.’
‘Shall I order food while I’m up there?’
Bonnie shrugged. ‘I’ll just have a plate of chips or something.’
‘That’s all you want?’
‘Yeah, I’m really not that hungry.’
‘You won’t think I’m a fat pig if I have half a chicken with my chips?’
‘Of course not.’
Max leaned across the table and kissed her lightly before he slid from his seat and strode to the bar. Bonnie watched him go – his tall, solid, ever-dependable figure scoring a knife through her emotions. This was torture; why couldn’t she just tell him? The longer she dragged this evening out, the worse it would be for both of them.
Minutes later he was back with a coke and a pint glass. ‘It’s a shandy,’ he said in response to Bonnie’s questioning look. ‘I’m a good boy, you see.’ He placed Bonnie’s drink in front of her and sat down with his own. ‘Where were we?’ he asked, grabbing Bonnie’s hand and gazing at her with a broad smile.
Bonnie couldn’t stand it anymore. She steeled herself.
‘I don’t know how to say this…’ Bonnie began. She paused, watching as the smile slid from Max’s face.
‘Say what?’
There was another pause that seemed to drag on for hours. The only sounds were the murmur of other pub customers deep in conversation and the low rumble of a heater somewhere nearby. Bonnie took another deep breath and slid her hand from Max’s grip. ‘We can’t see each other any more.’
‘Why? What have I done?’
‘You haven’t done anything,’ Bonnie cut in quickly. ‘It’s Henri. He’s come back.’
‘You have got to be kidding. When?’
‘Yesterday.’
‘And did he say where he’d been?’
‘Not exactly. But it doesn’t matter.’
Max stared at Bonnie. ‘How can it not matter?’
‘I’m so sorry,’ she repeated miserably. ‘I wish it could be different.’
‘You’re dumping me for a man who’s been missing for two years and then just walks back in as though nothing has happened?’ Max’s voice went up an octave with incredulity.
‘What else can I do?’
‘Tell him to sling his hook, that’s what,’ Max growled.
‘He’s Paige’s dad.’
‘It’s a shame he didn’t think of that when he went running back to France and left you two in the lurch.’
‘He didn’t know what he was doing, his head wasn’t right.’
‘I’ll bet half my business that he had a pretty good idea what he was doing.’
‘Don’t… Max, please,’ Bonnie almost whimpered. ‘Don’t make this harder than it already is….’
‘Oh, right…’ Max replied, his voice now ice, ‘how remiss of me to forget that in all this mess there’s a seriously mixed up woman and a terribly jammy French git. Never mind the poor boyfriend who’s wasted two years of his life waiting for this woman and when he finally gets her, his reward is a boot in the bollocks and his marching orders. Because we wouldn’t want to make it any harder for little Bonnie than it already is…’
‘Max –’
He held up a hand to silence her. ‘Forget it, Bonnie. I understand perfectly where I fit in all of this; clearly a long, long way behind the French twat who deserted you and his daughter. But thanks for filling me in.’
‘Max! I didn’t mean it to be like this –’
‘Really? I fail to see any other way you could have meant it to be.’
‘I really liked you –’
‘Liked me? Past tense? Gerard Depardieu turns up again and suddenly it’s not like, but liked…’ Max’s voice grew in volume with his indignation and obvious humiliation. Bonnie stared miserably at him. If only it could have been anyone but sweet, kind, funny Max, that she had to do this to.
‘I’m sorry,’ she said again. There was nothing else that could possibly make it any better.
Max’s gaze softened. There was so much compassion in his eyes, it was almost harder for Bonnie to bear than the fury he had shown moments before. He shook his head. ‘Forget it, Bon. I honestly hope you’re happy with him.’
‘You understand?’
‘No,’ he said ruefully, ‘I don’t, not one bit. But it’s your life and your choice and I would never wish anything but happiness for you.’ He smiled tightly. ‘As they say in France, bon chance.’ He pushed himself up and placed a twenty pound note on the table. ‘This should cover the bill,’ he explained.
‘Max, I don’t want –’
‘I know what you’re going to say. I said I’d treat you and I will. Indulge me, eh?’
Bonnie nodded, fighting the tears that were now stingin
g her eyes. She wanted to say thank you for being the most amazing, kind, understanding man she had ever met, she wanted to say that she was wrong and that she didn’t want him to go, she wanted to say that Henri wasn’t the right man for her and really, deep down, she knew that. But nothing would come out. Max walked away without another word and Bonnie simply watched him go.
Twelve
‘Bloody hell, you look like death warmed over twice. Are you ok?’ Linda asked as Bonnie shuffled into work the following morning.
‘I haven’t slept much,’ Bonnie said.
‘It looks as though you didn’t sleep at all.’
Bonnie gave her a rueful half-smile. ‘You guessed right.’
‘Henri?’
‘Sort of.’
Linda watched, a shrewd expression crossing her face as Bonnie shrugged off her coat and hung up her bag. ‘Bon… please tell me you didn’t dump Max.’
Bonnie turned to face her. She didn’t need to reply.
‘Bloody hell,’ Linda said. ‘Do you have any idea what an idiot you’ve been?’
‘Don’t… please.’
‘I could smack you one!’
‘Linda, you didn’t see how Paige was with Henri. It means so much to her that we make this family work again.’
‘Paige is fifteen! She doesn’t understand yet what arseholes men can be, even her own dad. She doesn’t understand how hard it is to come by decent men like Max… and you’re letting her ruin your chance of happiness with one.’
‘It isn’t just about me!’
‘No it isn’t. And Paige is too young to realise that she’d be better off with Max in your family than Henri.’
‘I did what I thought was right.’
‘Then you’re a moron.’ Linda paused as she looked at Bonnie, as though she was trying to see right into her heart. ‘Do you love him?’
‘Which one?’ Bonnie replied, aware of the irony of this question.
‘Henri.’
‘I honestly don’t know. While he was missing, I thought I did. Now he’s back… I don’t know how I feel.’
There was a knock at the back door.
Hopelessly Devoted to Holden Finn Page 19
