“Thank you for the food.” I got up quickly and made my way to the door. I would sleep when I got home from eating so much. Maybe tonight I wouldn’t end up sitting in front of the basement door reliving my terror.
Chapter Sixteen
Cole and Noah
The drive to the motel was done in silence. Noah didn’t even turn on the radio.
“What are you thinking?” We changed when we got into the room. We still needed to call Angel to tell him what happened.
“I don’t know what I’m thinking. I needed to take care of her, to make sure she ate.”
His eyes slid from mine. I knew what he was thinking, just like I need to take care of you.
It amazes me that Noah is the caretaker in this relationship. Was it really a relationship? When I told Leta I didn’t know what we were, I meant it. Leta, I let her name play on my tongue before I tasted it. I liked the weight of it, the perfumed toughness of who she was.
“She’s our third.”
“What? No! Did you see her? I’m not sure she weighed ninety pounds. Her body is emaciated.”
“It’s a good thing you started feeding her.”
“No Cole. It’s one thing for you and me to be…” He waved his hand around because just like me; he didn’t know what we were.
I got on our bed, then turned my back to him. If he wasn’t interested, there was nothing I could do. We were going to go up in smoke before we ever got the chance.
“Why can’t I be enough?”
Because I was a freak. How was I supposed to tell him that? This world that said love could only happen between two people had it wrong. My world had it wrong. This wasn’t about scratching an itch. It was finding the people, the beings who filled you up and kept you going every day. Why did we limit that? Who said that real love could only be between two people, and one must be female while the other is male?
“Come here, Noah.”
I stood and shucked my joggers and waited until he was standing toe to toe with me.
“Every planet, every world is different. What you feel as a part of your soul missing I feel as a part of my body missing.” I took his hand and placed it in the center of my chest.
“Do you feel that hard line?”
“What is it?”
I took his other hand and placed it on his chest. I wanted him to understand that he didn’t have the same hardness in his body.
“That’s me, my soul for lack of a better word. It starts here. I moved his hand to the right. It ends here.” I moved his hand to the left. Then I placed it back on the center line of my soul.
“If I were black, the whole right side would be filled to the center line. If I were red, it would be the left side. Since am neither, I only get the middle filled. Just enough to keep me alive.”
I took his hand and placed it on the right side. It was empty and cold. I saw the shiver that went up his arm. Then I placed it on the left side. It wasn’t as empty, and it was warm.
“What does this mean?”
“This warmth and fullness you feel. It’s you, Noah. It’s what you do to me, how you make me feel. Yes, you are enough. If there is only you, I will live with it for the rest of my life being grateful.”
“But you will always feel like something is missing?” Noah said. The sadness of his voice made me ache.
“No, we will always feel like something is missing. You can lie to yourself, but not to me. You’re compassionate and loving. I already know that, but today you did what you’ve only done with me.”
“Lie down, I have to think,” Noah said.
“Alright, love.”
“You mean that?” Noah asked me. His voice was low almost hesitant.
“Yeah, you were supposed to be a one-night stand. Something to make me less lonely before I kicked you to the curb. You broke the rules by working your way into my body, my soul. Now I want you even though I know I should let you go.”
“Do I get a say on the letting go part?” His eyes were roaming my body increasing my need for him.
“No. I need you one more time, then we get separate rooms. Deal?”
“Whatever you say, Cole. You’re the one in charge.”
I almost laughed at him. I hadn’t been in charge since I met him. His sea blue eyes were stormy. My stomach dipped, and I had to have one more memory of him loving me before I walked away from what I needed for his safety and my sanity.
“If this is my last time loving you Cole, let me.”
I crawled to the center of the bed and watched as he dropped the pants he was wearing. His erection stood up proud. I wanted to feel him deep inside of me. What’s worse was I wanted to be buried deep inside of him. I wanted him on his hands and knees, face resting on the pillow as I opened him up wide with my fingers first. No! I reminded myself. I knew where thoughts like that led to.
He put a knee on the bed and started to crawl across it. He was beautiful. I loved watching the ways his muscles flex, and his skin glowed in the low light. I ran my tongue over my teeth just a bit of insurance to make sure I wasn’t gearing up to bite him. He pinned me in place with his eyes until he was leaning over me.
Noah sat on my chest straddling me. I could feel his weight. I loved that he weighed more than me that he had a shot of keeping me down when I wanted to run.
“I love kissing you.” Noah said.
His lips were on mine, not demanding. He was kissing me with little nips and long tugs on my lower lip, overwhelming me with a taste that was distinctly him. I knew better, but I opened. I needed his taste in my body. I wanted to get closer. I craved him. He felt like the only person on this rock that could soothe me.
“I need you, Noah,” I cried out when we broke the kiss. That was the unadorned truth. I knew he could see it in my eyes.
It didn’t matter that I was going to give him up. I had to. He kissed down my neck nipping me before he bit me. He bit me. I went wild my body bucking underneath his.
I wanted him to claim me, to break the skin and permanently mark me so everyone who saw us would know I was his. His tongue flicked over my nipple drawing a high-pitched sound from me that I couldn’t hide.
No, not now, I pleaded with myself. I wasn’t going to win. I wouldn’t get my last time with Noah, not with the teeth that were dropping in my mouth. I reached for him, flipping him so I could be on top.
I opened my mouth. It was the horror I saw in his eyes that stopped me. My hand covered my mouth, and I pushed him away as I crawled off the bed.
“Leave!” I roared as I grabbed the phone and ran into the bathroom.
What the hell did I just see? I sat on the side of the bed. I was shaky and didn’t know what to do. I eyed the closed door. I wanted to talk to Cole, but my sense of self-preservation was kicking in. He opened his mouth, and there were two rows of serrated teeth.
I was sure he planned to eat me. I’m lying to myself. Yeah, his teeth scared me. I didn’t understand them, but I still don’t believe he wanted to hurt me. I eyed the door again and thought of manning up. Then I decided when your alien boyfriend wanted some time to himself you should give it to him.
Was he my boyfriend? Yeah, he was. He was also my lover and the male I loved. Well, wasn’t this lovely? It was a night of revelations. This is where I should be going down on one knee with a ring in my hand. This was where I declared my forever love because there would never be anyone other than him and maybe Leta.
I was all kinds of fucked up. All right, time to knock on the door.
“I wouldn’t do that.”
Angel was in the room with me. I looked over at the still locked door then back to him.
“I respect the door, but I don’t need one.”
I just nodded my head because why should I be surprised.
“What are you doing here, Angel?”
“I came to help you, maybe.”
“I love these talks we have they are so enlightening.”
“You fit right in Noah. I’m kicking myself
that I never saw how right you were for Cole and how right he is for you.”
“Cole’s locked in the bathroom. I need to check on him.”
“Calm down caretaker, he’s fine. Get on the bed and place your head against the headboard.”
“Excuse me.”
“No, just do it. Pull the cover over your happy place.”
I moved to cover up quickly as he laughed at me. The last thing I needed was for Cole to walk out and see me naked with Angel, I was sure that wouldn’t go over well.
Angel sat on the bed; he was a little too close to make me feel comfortable. He reached out and stroked the side of my throat.
“Angel?” I croaked out. I couldn’t move even though I was trying.
“Calm down Noah, I won’t hurt you.”
Why did I immediately think of a virgin having sex for the first time? I saw myself in virginal white with my dick tucked as I trembled in fear. His sudden burst of laughter made me wonder if he could read my mind.
“What are you doing, Angel?”
“I’m about to impart some wisdom do listen up.”
I stared at him trying for my slightly bored look. I wasn’t scared of Angel, but I knew more was happening than I was aware of.
“Those teeth are a little unsettling.”
Unsettling? Why don’t we skip that and go straight to scary?
“Yeah, unsettling.” I agreed.
“Most Yenizen will only see them once in their lives. In Cole’s case, if he’s lucky or blessed, he’ll see them twice.”
“What are you telling me?”
“To mate with you. Think of marriage on an epic scale that precludes divorce. He would have to bite you somewhere along here.” He took a finger and dragged it from the middle of the side of my neck all the way to my shoulders.
“Why are you stroking the area?”
“Call me your insurance policy. This way, you can relax about the bite.”
“Oh then, stroke away. Wait. What can’t I relax about?”
“We need more humans on our team.” Angel gave a laugh before meeting Noah’s eyes. “For Cole to claim you, he will have to be buried deep inside of you.”
Angel's voice was so nonchalant that I almost missed what he was saying at first. Cole buried deep inside of me? I tried to move left and right at the same time. Fortunately, Angel still had me pinned down.
“Why?”
“That’s how they mate. I can take you to the planet; you can speak with the priestess. I suggest you don’t, but humans have a mind of their own.”
I wanted to see Cole, to talk to him. To find out what he wanted. My ass was unexplored territory. I wasn’t sure I wanted anyone in it. It’s Cole, that traitor voice of my subconscious whispered. Did that matter?
This was the point where under normal circumstances, I would have pulled out a ring and done the bended knee thing. I looked at Angel as I realized I didn’t want to answer the questions swirling through my head. I didn’t want to face my demons for fear they would show me a version of myself, I didn’t like.
“Sorry Noah, I can’t let you live with that answer.”
He put his hand on my chest, and I started convulsing. I could hear everything happening, but I understood none of it.
“Angel, why did you start without me?” Dante asked him.
“I got tired of waiting for you.”
Another hand covered my chest. The convulsions stopped, and I was still alive. That’s good, right?
“No more, Angel.”
I heard him whimper, and I passed out.
Chapter Seventeen
Cole and Noah
My hands trembled as I tried to call Jace. He needed to come and get Noah, take him to a different room. Make that a different country. I needed him to hide Noah, so I wouldn’t come after him. My control was thin, and it would break.
The phone dropped I picked it up and tried to dial a second time. This time someone bent down and picked it up for me.
“Where did you come from?” My voice was ragged, my breathing hard. All I could scent was Noah, and it was driving me crazy.
“Eyes on me,” Dante said. It was hard, but the more I stared at him, the less I became aware of Noah. I panicked. “He’s fine. Right now, you’re the one that needs help. Jace is coming.”
I nodded as much as I wanted to say that I was fine, and it was all a misunderstanding I knew better.
“What do you want Cole?” Dante asked me.
I wanted to say, Noah. Jace materialized in the room.
“I can take him away. Make sure you never run into him again,” Jace told me.
Dante turned stormy eyes on me but kept silent.
I gave a moan of pain my need to mate was taking over my body. My heart and my soul were demanding that I form a bond with the male who was a part of me. Letting him go would rip me apart, but his safety was my priority.
“Take him away please.” My words were slurred. Soon I would pass out from the pain. When I woke up, I would be alone again.
“Why?”
Dante was demanding an answer. There was no way to avoid it.
“Safe… safety.” Words were coming harder now. I needed to know Noah would be safe from me, from fuckin’ Naresh. I needed him safe.
“If you could bite him without killing him? If his body would link up with yours? What then?”
I let out a moan, and my hips punched the air as I let Dante’s words make me think of a future where I don’t spend forever alone.
“Not possible.” I couldn’t allow myself to dream.
“I wish the universe in general and the males I deal with specifically would stop doubting me.”
There was a laugh in those words, but I was too far gone to understand what he was talking about.
“What do you want Cole?”
His voice was hard, demanding. He stood tall while I was kneeling before the toilet trying to stop the pain ripping through my body.
“Noah!” I screamed not caring who heard me. “I want Noah.”
Jace went to kneel by me. Dante caught him by his neck and held him up, so his feet weren’t touching the ground.
“You don’t get to pass on your hang-ups.”
“Dante stop this.”
“Are you challenging me, Jace?”
“You know I’m not.”
He dropped Jace so fast I was surprised he didn’t hit ass first.
“Are you sure Cole? Your people, like mine, don’t do ‘do-overs.’”
Anyone who thought an alien couldn’t make a mistake when it came to his mate was wrong. Some cultures were okay with that, others not so much. Mine when you mated it was for life.
Dante placed his hand in the middle of my chest. I don’t know what he did. I felt heat and then his hand was gone.
“Come out when you’re ready.” He walked out the door leaving me with Jace.
“Jace.” I tried to focus on him.
“He’s right you know. I shouldn’t be trying to pass my hang-ups to you. I like you with Noah.”
“Is that why you paired us together?”
“No. Let’s say I was as surprised as you were to find out your partner, in this case, was human. I think he’s what you need. Angel told me he makes you eat.”
A smile came to my lips temporarily making the insanity I was beginning to feel, leave.
“He’s a caretaker. I never thought I needed one.”
“You’re the only one Cole. We’ve been taken care of you as best we could since the day you stepped foot on the earth.”
I nodded because I knew it was true. They had become my family, the only one I knew.
“Ready?”
“What if I hurt him, Jace? What if I kill him?”
“Do you really think that Dante, Angel and I are here so you can kill your mate?”
“You're preparing?” Did I look hopeful, needy, pitiful? On my planet, my mate would have been prepared to receive me.
“Don’t tell anyone but y
our planet can’t come close to doing what we can.” He stuck out his hand, so I took it. When I was standing, I threw my arms around him. Jace was the first non-human I met when I came to this planet. He welcomed me and showed me how to blend in and make it my home. There are some days when I’m sure I owe everything to him.
I opened my mouth, but he shook his head.
“If I ever find myself taking a mate. Dance at my wedding, we’ll be even.”
“I will.”
We walked out into the main room to find Noah knocked out and Angel on the bed beside him curled up in a ball whimpering.
“What did you do?” Jace shouted at Dante.
Dante turned his eyes rolling with silver. “Get into the other bed Angel and sleep.”
Angel got up, moved to the other bed then curled into a ball. He whimpered loudly in pain before he fell silent.
“He won’t interfere and will remember nothing in the morning. Ask me what I did Jace. Beg me to feel what Angel is feeling or what Noah is feeling. You’re dying to know.”
“You’re an ass, Dante.” Jace disappeared.
“Claim your mate, Cole. We don’t always get a second chance.” Then he disappeared, and I was left looking at Noah, who was now wide awake.
“I think we need a rule. No phones in the bathroom.”
I laughed; I couldn’t help myself.
“Angel says you want to put those deadly teeth in me. Is that your way of stamping property of Cole on my ass? I walk around with huge teeth marks?”
“They leave a mark, but only your body knows what the mark will look like.”
“Um, what?”
“When the chemicals of my body react with yours it will cause a design to form where I bit you. Your body will be the author of the design. The same design will replace the red on my body.”
“How? Don’t answer that. You can give me a lesson in Yenizen biology later. Let’s talk about what we’re avoiding.”
“Me, coming in your tight ass.”
“Well, glad we’re not all avoiding it.”
“Noah, it might kill me, but I’ll give you up before I hurt you.”
“That’s where we have the problem. You’re so willing to give me up but refuse to ask me.”
Crave Page 11
