by Linda Wisdom
One afternoon Lisa returned from lunch to find Morgan seated in Dan's office, alone. "Dan had a quick conference with someone," Morgan coolly informed her. "I'm so glad we have a minute to talk alone. I'm also glad that you took my advice about Dan."
"I didn't take your advice, Miss Grant." Lisa's voice was equally remote. "I'm living my life the way I wish to."
"I'm sure you'll be much happier with your friend Mark," the other woman said confidently. "You should marry him, have children, the type of life I'm sure you really want."
Lisa's reply was cut off as Dan appeared. "Morgan, what a pleasant surprise." He smiled warmly at her.
Shaken by Dan's warm greeting to Morgan and by Morgan's words to her, Lisa went back to her desk feeling physically ill. She knew she had left the field open to Morgan and hated herself for it.
As the days passed, Lisa became even more grateful for Mark; his continued presence helped her to hide her own anxieties. As the time for the annual office picnic, held at the Phoenix Club in Anaheim, approached, she knew she would not enjoy it. It would provide a real test of her ability to act nonchalant with Dan, and she was very much afraid she would fail.
Lisa was glad to have the evening before the picnic to stay home alone, as Debra was going out with Pat.
"What time is Mark picking you up tomorrow?" Debra asked her.
"Nine or therabouts." Lisa shrugged her shoulders.
"Will Dan be there?" Debra asked pointedly.
"I didn't ask," Lisa wearily replied. "We don't talk very much except about business matters. In fact, we haven't for some time. The only time he says anything close to being personal is when he makes a sarcastic remark about Mark."
"Sounds like a case of jealousy. What does he say?"
"He claims that I walk all over Mark," Lisa said angrily.
"Mark does seem to give in to you a lot," Debra said carefully. "Tell me, Lee, are there any fireworks yet?"
Lisa's head shot up, her eyes blazing. "Aren't you afraid you're going to be late?" she snapped. She walked into the bathroom, slamming the door behind her.
"I'm only thinking of you, Lee," Debra called after her. "You can't be angry with me for speaking the truth. All you're going to end up doing is hurting Mark and hurting yourself. You can try and tell me that you don't care, but I know differently."
Lisa stubbornly stayed in the bathroom until she heard Debra leave with Pat. And, after a quiet and lonely evening spent washing her hair and manicuring her nails, she crept into bed for a restless and dream-filled sleep.
Since the day was hot and sunny, Lisa chose to wear brief tan shorts and a brown strapless stretch top under a brown-and-green print shirt left open and tied at the waist. She pulled her hair into pigtails, making herself look much younger.
Mark showed up in light blue shorts and a matching T-shirt. "You look too young for my peace of mind," Mark said wryly, viewing the lithe figure before him.
"You're not exactly in your dotage," Lisa teased him, using words she had used before, turning to pick up a brimmed straw hat to protect her face from the hot sun. "Shall we go?"
"Don't forget to say hello to your boss for me, Lee," Debra daringly called after her from the bedroom in a deliberately casual voice.
Lisa's mutinous mood had not improved by the time she and Mark arrived at the large park. Mark carried a large container of salad Lisa had prepared and set it on an already heavily laden table. Turning, Lisa greeted her secretary friend, Barbara, also casually dressed in shorts and a T-shirt.
"Would you take a look at the fashion plate who showed up among us mortals?" Barbara nudged Lisa slyly. "And you'll have to see this to believe it. Everyone is out at the baseball diamond."
Lisa followed Barbara past a large grassy area, taking a dirt path that led to a dusty baseball diamond. Nearing the bleachers, her green eyes widened at the sight of Morgan, immaculately dressed in white designer jeans and a pale rose-colored silk shirt, with a wide-brimmed straw hat protecting her porcelain features.
"Can you imagine wearing white to a picnic?" Barbara hissed. "Actually, I'm surprised she even came. I thought she was above us working people."
"I'm not surprised," Lisa said softly, letting her eyes wander toward the baseball game in progress, settling on one jeans-clad figure whose dark blond hair glinted in the bright sunlight.
Frank, Barbara's husband, urged Mark to join the game, as Lisa and Barbara walked toward the bleachers. Morgan acknowledged their presence with a cool smile, but she said nothing. Barbara rolled her eyes at Lisa as if unable to believe what she was seeing.
Lisa was totally miserable by the time the baseball game had ended. She held in her excited cheers each time Dan hit the ball, cheering only for Mark. She was aware of Dan's glittering blue eyes watching her on occasion, but she refused to turn her head in his direction.
After the game, Mark and Lisa walked across the grass, his arm a leaden weight across her shoulders.
"We thought we'd get up a basketball game after we eat," he told her.
"And I suppose I'm expected to sit there and cheer on all of you big he-men," she said sullenly.
"Lee, I'm not going to abandon you for the entire day." Mark's voice was instantly contrite. "You know that I wouldn't do that to you."
As Lisa's head shot up, she was aware that Dan was standing nearby; he had obviously overheard their conversation. The expression in his eyes told her only too plainly that he wouldn't have put up with her childish temper. Defiantly, she tossed her head and walked on, with Mark following her. Lisa knew that she was acting childish, but she was past caring.
"Did you have a fight with Mark?" Barbara whispered later, as the men moved off for their basketball game. "Though I can't see why he would fight with you. He thinks the world of you. Everyone knows how he feels about you."
"Oh, I don't know," Lisa sighed. "I guess it's just the sun or something. I'm going for a short walk. If Mark comes looking for me, please don't tell him where I've gone. I'd really rather be alone."
"All right; maybe the walk will help."
Lisa moved off, walking through the trees. After going a short distance, she leaned against a tree, staring off into space, trying to sort out her thoughts.
"Run off to pout?" A familiar voice sounded behind her.
Lisa turned to face Dan, defiant. "No; to be alone," she said sharply.
"You don't want to be alone, Lee," Dan said softly.
"Yes, I do, so why don't you just go away!" she cried out, clenching her fists at her sides. "Go back to Morgan. After all, she wants you and you want her. That's only obvious."
Dan's eyes glinted like angry blue gems as he pulled her roughly toward him. "Does this mean I want her?" he ground out before pressing his mouth against hers in a brutal kiss. He was angry with her, Lisa knew. Yet, why should he be angry? Lisa could feel the tears filling her eyes when Dan finally released her. For long moments they stood staring at each other, breathing hard.
Lisa's hand lifted; she wanted only to hurt Dan, but his reflexes were too quick for her, and he firmly grasped her wrist.
"You don't want to do that, Lee," he said quietly. "Hurting me is the same as hurting yourself."
"You have Morgan; isn't that enough?" Lisa asked in a choked voice.
Dan stood still, his eyes studying her tense features. "Yes, I guess it is," he said finally, before he walked away.
Lisa watched him disappear, wanting only to call him back. She dashed away her tears with the back of her hand, waiting only long enough to compose herself before returning to the others.
Back at the picnic, Lisa sat down next to Barbara to watch the basketball game. Dan's tall figure was easy to spot. It was obvious that he had played basketball in college and that he probably still played occasionally. And he seemed to have no residual problems from the surgery at all. Lisa noticed this, as her eyes stayed on him instead of on Mark.
Lisa felt as if a wire had been coiled inside her body, ready to spring out at a
ny moment. It was as if her body knew something was about to happen, but wasn't sure what. Or when.
Barbara noticed; and she kept glancing over at her friend's stiff figure. "Did your walk help any?" she asked.
"Yes, in several ways," Lisa said cryptically, as she watched, tense, as Mark and Dan spoke together. What were they talking about? The wire inside her coiled tighter.
"Lee," Mark said. Her face was a carefully composed mask when he approached her. "We've been asked to join Dan and Morgan for drinks after we leave here."
Panic washed over her in a flood. No! She couldn't go through with it! And she wasn't going to, not if she had her say.
"Mark," Lisa's voice was sweetly wheedling, "I think I left my hat back at the table. Would you be a darling and get it for me?" She cocked her head to one side, a smile lighting up her face.
After he disappeared, she quickly searched out Dan, and she was lucky to find him alone. He had shed his shirt during the basketball game and was pulling it back on when Lisa approached him.
"I don't think it would be a good idea for us to join you for a drink," she said right off. "And I'm sure you can come up with a suitable excuse."
"Why should I?"
"Because I won't do it," Lisa said through clenched teeth.
"So?" Dan shrugged his shoulders indifferently.
"I will not sit in some bar with you," she angrily protested, her temper beginning to run away from her. "Because then I'd have to be polite to you. And the last thing I want to do is be polite to you."
Dan looked down at her angry face with maddening calm, as he slowly tucked his still unbuttoned shirt into the waistband of his jeans. "Forget it," he said finally, moving around her and walking off without a backward glance.
Lisa spun around, dying to throw something at his broad back. Her fierce anger still hadn't dissipated when Mark returned, carrying her hat.
"Ready to go?" he asked her.
"As ready as I'll ever be," she ground out, snatching the hat out of his hand and walking away.
"Lee, do you feel all right?" Mark was all concern as he caught up to her. "You've been acting strangely all day."
Lisa tried to be contrite. There was no reason to take her anger out on Mark. "I'm sorry, Mark; I don't know what's wrong with me," she said wearily.
Since they were too casually dressed for many of the cocktail lounges, they chose one that was small, with a friendly atmosphere.
Now feeling sorry for her earlier actions, Lisa decided to make up for them by being sweet to Mark. She was aware of Dan's derisive gaze and Morgan's triumphant one, but she refused to back down now. When Lisa requested a second drink, she looked at Dan, finding his eyes on her with an unreadable expression. Recalling the night when she had breezed into his apartment, she hastily muttered that she didn't need another drink after all. She sat back in her corner of the booth, simmering quietly.
"We must get together some evening for dinner," Morgan said silkily.
Lisa looked at the other woman, knowing only too well that the invitation was a false one. "That does sound like a lovely idea," she echoed insincerely, as Dan's eyes narrowed.
When Morgan softly reminded Dan of a previous dinner engagement a few minutes later, Lisa heaved a sigh of relief.
"You know how Uncle is on punctuality," Morgan reminded Dan as they got ready to go, and she stole a sly glance at Lisa.
"Yes." Dan was leaning back in his seat, studying Lisa's face. "We're talking about getting together for some more weekend games, Connors. You should join us," Dan said by way of good-bye. He flashed Mark a faint smile. To Lisa he said, "See you on Monday,"
She merely nodded, refusing to look up.
"How about some dinner?" Mark suggested once they were alone.
"All right." Lisa didn't feel very hungry, but she wasn't too eager to go home right away, either.
After a quick meal, Mark took Lisa back to her apartment. He stood at her door, looking at her with a strange expression on his face.
"I don't understand quite what is going on," he said quietly. "Or what it will do to us, but I want you to know that I'll always be there when you need me, Lee. Because I love you. It's as simple as that."
"Oh, Mark." Her eyes shimmered with tears; her hand reached up, cupping his cheek in a tender gesture. "How can someone as sweet and wonderful as you want only half a person?"
"That's where you're wrong." He smiled, leaning forward to press a light kiss on her lips. "I'll talk to you later when you feel more like yourself. Maybe we can have dinner again some evening soon."
Lisa entered the empty apartment feeling on the verge of tears. She had known that Mark was very fond of her, but she hadn't realized he actually loved her. She smiled grimly. It looked like Dan had been wrong: Mark was willing to marry her after all.
To keep herself busy, she did her laundry, piling the clothes in a basket to carry them down to the laundry room. When that chore had been completed, she decided to scrub down the bathroom, ignoring the late hour. By the time she dropped into bed, she was too exhausted to care that, at that moment, Dan and Morgan were undoubtedly still together.
"Lee! Lee!" Lisa tried to raise her head, her eyes squinting in the sudden light. "Lisa, wake up!" The persistent voice wasn't going to give up.
"Wh-what's wrong?" Lisa muttered, propping herself up on one elbow and pushing her hair away from her face. "Is something wrong, Deb?"
Debra shook her by the shoulders, alternately laughing and crying. "Oh, Lee, Pat just asked me to marry him, and I said yes!"
Fully awake now, Lisa broke into a wide smile. "How wonderful!" She hugged her cousin. "Tell me all about it."
"He said if he didn't ask me now he didn't know when he'd get his courage up again." Debra's green eyes glowed with happiness.
"Well, when do you think—have you set a date?" Lisa's words tumbled out in confusion.
"Three weeks from today."
"Three weeks! That barely gives us any time," Lisa protested. "How can you expect us to have everything ready in so short a time?"
"I'd marry him tomorrow if I didn't know how much it would disappoint Mom. I have no interest in a big wedding. All I want is Pat."
"Your mother is going to be ecstatic." Lisa said.
"She sure is. We called Mom and Dad tonight," Debra told her. "You and I also have strict orders to come home next weekend to begin the preparations."
"Oh, Deb, I'm so happy for you." Lisa threw her arms around her, her eyes filled with tears. "You'll be such a beautiful bride." She drew back. "I know one thing for sure, if we only have three weeks we're not going to be getting much sleep. I'll see about taking my vacation time now. I'll ask Dan first thing Monday." At the mention of his name, the light in her eyes dimmed.
"I thought we could begin working on the guest list in the morning," Debra said hastily, silently wishing that Lisa could find the same happiness she was now experiencing. "Pat's coming over with his share of the list at about eleven, and he has promised to take us out for a celebration brunch."
When the lights were switched off, much later, Lisa lay in her bed, tears streaming down her face. She was happy for Debra, but she was also envious. She wondered when her turn for happiness would come, and with whom.
Monday morning, as Lisa took the morning mail in to Dan, she decided it was as good a time as any to voice her request.
"Dan, I'd like to ask a favor," she began hesitantly, aware of his cold, mocking look. "Debra is getting married in three weeks and, if possible, I'd like to take my vacation after this week, for two weeks, to help with the preparations. Naturally, I'll make sure to have caught up with all my work." She nervously clasped her hands, as she waited for his reply.
Dan leaned back in his chair, taking his time to study Lisa's tense figure. "It took a lot for you to ask that, didn't it?" he asked softly. Then he sat quickly forward, picking up a pen. "You'd better call a temporary agency today. Just make sure they send someone capable. I won't put up with some
dim-witted female who doesn't know a pencil sharpener from an intercom."
"Thank you." Lisa's low voice was barely audible.
"Don't thank me!" Dan said harshly. Then he added, in a softer voice, "Give her my congratulations. I hope she'll be happy."
Lisa escaped to her desk, surprised by Dan's reaction to her gratitude. She wished she could understand such a complex man. But that would be like asking for the moon. Impossible.
Chapter Eight
Friday night, after work, Lisa and Debra headed up the Coast to Ventura, to the homes where they had both grown up. A few hours later, they pulled up in front of a wood frame two-story house.
"See you in the morning," Debra said to Lisa, as Lisa took a small overnight case out of the back of the car. "Mom and I will be over about ten or so."
Debra's small car then roared down the street, the taillights disappearing in the dark night. As Lisa approached the house the front door opened and a light was switched on, illuminating the small enclosed porch. A woman in her mid-forties stepped out. At first glance, she looked just like Debra, until a closer look revealed faint strands of silver in the dark hair and wrinkled lines around the eyes.
"Just in time for dinner." She held her arms out to Lisa.
"Mom." Lisa dropped her case to hug the older woman.
"You haven't been home in such a long time," Marianne Winters scolded her daughter lovingly, looking her up and down with a mother's critical stare. "You're also much too thin."
"I'm just fine," Lisa assured her.
Inside the house, her father, a tall man with graying, dark red hair enveloped her in a bear hug. "There's my girl." He kissed her soundly on the cheek, as she threw her arms around him.
"How's my favorite girl?" Bill asked fondly.
"Just fine."
"We can talk over dinner," Marianne interrupted, pushing them toward the dining room. "Everything is getting cold."
