“There’s nothing more I can do.”
He purses his lips and glances around the tree-lined campus. “You got a nice set up going here.” His hardened gaze flicks to me. “I would hate for anything to ruin it.”
I gulp down the rising nausea before it has a chance to explode from my lips. It might be a vague threat, but it’s one to take seriously. He doesn’t care about making problems for me. He’s always been a selfish bastard. Clearly, nothing has changed in that regard.
“I’m cash strapped,” I repeat. If I give him anything more from my savings, I don’t know how I’ll support myself for the rest of the academic year. I still need to eat and pay rent. Now that I’m no longer living in the dorms, scholarship money doesn’t cover off-campus housing. Although, with the number of guys I share a place with, it’s cheaper than the student residence halls.
“Maybe you can get a loan. It’s not like you won’t be making millions next year. You’re a good investment.” His eyes light up, warming to the idea. “In fact, I got a couple of associates who would loan you some money at a fair price.”
Loan sharks.
He wants me to take money from guys he got in the hole with. There’s no damn way I can get involved with people like that.
“Well, you better figure it out. I’m almost out of cash, and your mother doesn’t bring in much.”
“Maybe you’re the one who needs to get a job.” The bitterness shoots from my mouth before I can think better of it.
He would much rather sit on his ass and take money from his wife and kid than actually do something to change his situation. I wish he would get the hell out of our lives and leave us alone once and for all. But he won’t. As long as he sees a way to squeeze us for money, he’ll stick around. I see it in his eyes. And right now, I’m a cash cow for him.
Anger snaps in his dull blue eyes as he straightens. “What? You too good to help out your old man? After everything I’ve done for you?”
Done for me?
What a joke. The best thing he ever did was get sent to prison. Too fucking bad he couldn’t have stayed locked up behind bars where he belongs.
And now he’s back.
To ruin my life.
When I remain silent, lost in those depressing thoughts, he steps toward me and smacks my shoulder. “Get me a couple of hundred bucks by the end of the week. That should hold me over for the time being. But you’re gonna have to figure something out, kid. Maybe talk to that fancy agent you got and see if he can slip you something.” Then he says what I’ve been dreading but know deep in my soul is the truth. “I ain’t going away.”
He's right about that.
He’ll never go away.
He’ll continue to suck off me until I die.
For the first time in a decade, I feel hopelessness rush through me, filling up every space inside as it threatens to suck me under.
35
Rowan
“I’m not going to lie, North Carolina will be a tough one, but we’re prepared. They have a powerhouse of a defensive line. As long as our guys give you a pocket to do your thing, we’ll be good.”
Coach’s voice barely penetrates the thick haze clouding my thoughts. I startle when he jumps to his feet before clapping his hands and pointing to his daughter on the field. “Way to go, honey! Keep up the pressure!”
I follow suit and refocus my attention on the game. Demi is in her zone today, kicking ass and taking names. If there’s action on the field, she’s involved in it. There’s only been a handful of times when she’s come out for a break and that was to guzzle down water before her coach sent her right back in. My heart swells with more love than I ever imagined possible. As soon as that realization enters my mind, my breath hitches, and everything inside me goes eerily silent.
I don’t bother trying to convince myself those thoughts aren’t true. That’s exactly the way I feel about her.
My gaze stays pinned to Demi as she races toward their opponent’s goal. She is so single-minded and determined. I’ve never met anyone who has so much heart for the game. How could I not fall for a girl with so much passion burning inside her?
Now that I’ve gotten to know Demi on a deeper level, the feelings that have always been simmering beneath the surface have taken root. All I want to do is wrap her up in my arms and protect her. Not that she needs me to do that. Demi is more than capable of fighting her own battles.
Everything would be perfect if not for my father’s unwanted presence. Even the idea of him is enough to make me feel like there is a thousand-pound weight sitting on my chest, crushing the very life out of me. He won’t be happy until he sucks me dry like an emotional vampire. And there is nothing I can do to get rid of him. There’s not enough money in the world to satiate him.
Those thoughts have me dragging a hand over my face.
What the hell am I going to do?
I glance at the man next to me. As close as we are, he has no idea what I’m struggling with. Coach has helped me in so many ways. Am I really going to repay all that by bringing my ex-con of a father into his life?
Into his daughter’s life?
There’s no way I can do that to either of them. I need to keep Scott Michaels as far away from Demi as possible.
“Rowan?” There’s a pause. “Have you heard one damn word I’ve said?”
I snap to attention and glance at Coach. “Yeah, sorry. Just thinking about the game on Saturday.”
His large hand drops onto my shoulder, and he gives it a squeeze. “Now’s not the time to get in your head.”
Even though we’re talking about different things, it’s much too late for that.
“Is there something else going on?” He searches my face. “You’re not acting like yourself.”
Fuck.
As much as it pains me to lie to Coach, there’s no way I can tell him the truth. I can’t drag him into my shit. That’s exactly what this situation is—a shit sandwich I’ll have to swallow down on my own, one disgusting bite at a time.
“Nope, it’s all good. I’m going over everything in my head and hoping Kendricks catches what I throw his way.”
He flashes me a grin. “You two are solid this season. No reason to think it won’t continue.”
He’s right. Brayden and I are in the zone. It’s like he can’t not catch what I throw. We’ve totally gelled on the field. He seems to move into position before the ball explodes from my hand. I’m going to miss him next year.
I glance at the man beside me. Out of everyone on the team, he’s the one I’ll miss most. Nick Richards has been like a father to me since he strode into my life the summer before ninth grade. There’s no way I would be where I am today without his guiding hand. Unbeknownst to him, he stepped in and filled the gaping hole my father never could. He’s always led by example, demonstrating how to be a man. He’s taught me invaluable life lessons along the way. Ones that I will carry with me forever.
How do you repay the one person who has altered the course of your life and made you a better human being?
I’ll tell you what you don’t do—you sure as shit don’t bring your deadbeat father around him or his daughter.
The air held captive in my lungs burns as I release it back into the world and watch Demi race up the field before scoring her third goal of the game. That girl is unstoppable. She’s a force of nature to be reckoned with. The two of us jump to our feet and clap our hands. He sticks his fingers between his lips and lets out a loud whistle. A few other spectators blow air horns. Sure, women’s soccer doesn’t bring in the same kind of fanatic crowd that football does, but there are still a good number of fans filling the soccer arena.
We sit in silence for a few minutes, watching the fast-paced action on the field before Coach says, “I think she has a damn good chance of getting picked up by the NWSL. A few scouts have contacted her, expressing interest.”
That would be amazing for Demi. She’s talked about playing professional soccer, but I also kn
ow that she’s not pinning her hopes on it either. She has a backup plan in mind. My girl is so damn smart.
She’s as talented as she is beautiful.
Demi Richards is the total package.
The girl of my dreams.
Which is exactly why I won’t be the one who stands in her way. I won’t allow my past to alter her future. My heart lurches as the realization of what I need to do sinks inside me like a boulder. I spent all these years trying to get close to Demi and now that she’s mine, I have to let her go.
She deserves the best, and I’m not it.
When the buzzer sounds, signaling the end of the game, I blink back to the present. The Wildcats have pulled off their third win in a row. This was the most challenging team they’ve taken on this season. A few players surround Demi, hugging her before they line up and congratulate the other team on a good game.
Demi’s gaze seeks mine out in the crowd of spectators before she flashes me a grin. That one smile is enough to have everything stilling inside me.
How the hell am I going to cut this girl loose?
Not only will I break her heart, I’ll shatter my own in the process.
36
Demi
Tonight’s the night.
I’m going to tell Rowan what’s in my heart. The feelings that have taken root inside me have come on so hard and fast. It’s almost enough to make my head spin. In the beginning, I held them in because I wanted to be sure they were real. Over the last couple of weeks, they’ve managed to multiply, growing out of control and intensifying rapidly. Now that I’ve come to terms with my own emotions, I don’t see a reason to hold them inside any longer. I want Rowan to know how much he means to me.
This is a massive step. I’ve never told anyone other than my parents that I love them. It’s as thrilling as it is scary.
The plan for tonight is to meet up at a party. The Wildcats won this afternoon’s football game, and everyone will be out celebrating like their lives depend on it. It’s kind of cool that we both won our respective games this week. How often does something like that happen? Adding to the celebratory mood is Rowan’s statistics grade. It’s sitting at a solid B. He’s worked so hard to get it there. We both deserve to relax and have some fun tonight.
There’s a light knock against my bedroom door. Before I can call out a response, Sydney pushes it open and pokes her head inside.
Her gaze roves over me as I hold out my arms and do a little twirl. “What do you think?”
“That you look hot, and you’ll definitely be getting laid this evening.”
My lips quirk as a gurgle of laughter breaks loose. “I certainly hope so.” I haven’t been able to spend much time with Rowan this week. We’ve both been busy, and I’ve noticed that he’s been a little preoccupied. Now that today’s game is won, I think he’ll loosen up. If not, I’ll have to get him there, and I know exactly how to do that.
Sydney grins and takes another step inside the room. “I wasn’t kidding, girl. You look seriously hot.” She raises a brow. “Special occasion?”
A flutter of nerves wing their way to life inside the pit of my belly. I chew my lower lip before shrugging. “Just want to look nice.”
“Mission accomplished. Rowan won’t be able to keep his hands off you.”
That would happen regardless. But this sexy little skirt and cleavage-baring top should clinch the deal. I glance at the mirror and scrutinize my reflection before turning one way and then the other to get a better look at my ass. I’ve never felt so far out of my comfort zone. I’m almost tempted to tear the clothing from my body and throw on a comfy sweater and a pair of well-worn jeans.
Needing to get my mind off how momentous tonight feels, I say, “You never told me what happened with Ethan.” Which, now that I think about it, is odd. Usually, Sydney gives me a blow-by-blow of their relationship status. She’s the queen of oversharing.
“We’re still broken up.”
I meet her gaze in the full-length mirror. It’s been a week. Their usual pattern is to work everything out within a couple of days. So, this is odd. I twirl around to search her face. “I’m sorry. Do you think you’ll get back together again?”
She jerks her slender shoulders as a wave of sadness crashes over her features. “I think we’re both tired of the drama. It’s become soul-sucking, and I don’t have the energy for it anymore.”
Holy shit. This is the first time I’ve heard her say that. Sydney had crushed on Ethan all last year, and when they finally got together this summer, it seemed like they were really happy.
At first.
And then the bickering started, followed by the constant whirlwind of breakups and makeups. It was exhausting, and I was the one sitting on the sidelines.
“Wow.” I have to admit that I’m shocked by the sudden turn of events. Although...let’s see if it sticks. Those two are like magnets. They’re either pulling at each other or forcing the other away.
“I know.” She nods, understanding my reaction. “I think it’ll be good to be on my own for a while.”
Woah. Talk about another curveball. Sydney has been a serial dater since I met her. She hops from one guy to the next without blinking her eyes. I rack my brain, trying to figure out if I’ve ever known a single Sydney. This will be a first.
“I agree. It almost sounds like,” I pause for a moment, “you’re making a mature decision.”
Laughter bubbles up in her throat. “I know, right?” It doesn’t take long before she sobers again. “I really do like Ethan...” her voice trails off, and her brow furrows as if she’s trying to work out a complicated math equation in her head.
“But?” I prompt when she remains silent.
She blinks, and her gaze refocuses on me. “I don’t think we’re very good together.”
That is the understatement of the year. And the thing is, they’re great people on their own, just not as a couple. For reasons I don’t understand, they bring out the worst in each other.
With any luck, the breakup will stick this time.
“I really am sorry.” Even when you’re the one making the decision to walk away, the demise of a relationship is still painful. “Are you sure about going out tonight? We could always chill here. Rent a few movies, order pizza, and dive headfirst into cartons of chocolate ice cream. You know, all the things that are supposed to help you move on.”
She snorts before shaking her head. “No, I need to get out and get my mind off of it. If I sit at home, all I’ll do is mope and eat. It’ll turn into an ugly cycle.” She pats her behind. “My ass can’t take that.”
“Please.” I roll my eyes. “Your ass is amazing.”
She waves a hand in my direction. “Plus, you’re dressed to slay. There’s no way in hell we’re wasting that.”
As much as I want to see Rowan tonight, if Sydney needed to stay in, I’d do it in a heartbeat. She’s always stood staunchly by my side. How could I not be there for her in her moment of need?
“Are you absolutely sure?” I search her gaze. “I don’t mind.”
“Nope, it’s all good.” She heads for the door. “Let me throw on something party-appropriate, and we can hit the road. I’m sure Rowan has already texted you half a dozen times, wondering where you’re at.”
My brows draw together as I glance at my cell on the nightstand. It’s been strangely silent for the last couple of hours. No chirping or dinging to speak of. I swipe it from the small table and glance at the dark screen. Rowan hasn’t texted or called at all today. I’m the one who reached out earlier to firm up our plans, and his reply was abnormally brief.
I stare at my phone as a kernel of unease settles in the pit of my belly before quickly pushing it away.
What am I worrying about?
So what if he hasn’t checked-in?
Just because we’re going out doesn’t mean we’re attached at the hip. Even when I’m in a relationship, I’ve always maintained my independence. I’ve never been one of those gi
rls who loses themselves in a guy. And I don’t want to start now. It takes effort to shake away the concern that has taken root inside my brain. As soon as I see him, everything will fall back into place.
I add a little bit of coppery eyeshadow and shimmery lip gloss before checking myself out one last time in the mirror. Normally, I throw my hair up into a ponytail because it’s easy. I’m all about low maintenance. But tonight, I’ve straight ironed my long lengths, so they fall down my back in a shiny dark curtain.
Even I have to admit that I’m looking pretty damn good. Sydney’s right—I am so getting laid tonight.
Twenty minutes later, we walk arm in arm up the front steps of the house that Rowan shares with a bunch of guys from the football team. Sydney has pulled out all the stops. Her long blond hair has been curled and falls in soft waves around her shoulders. She’s wearing a dark green shirt that hugs her curves and makes her emerald-colored eyes pop. The short denim skirt barely covers her ass as the black leather boots stretch over her calves.
She commented earlier that I looked smoking hot. Well, she doesn’t look so shabby herself. I wouldn’t be surprised if she leaves the party with someone. Just as long as it’s not Ethan. Everything she admitted earlier rings true. It would be best for all involved if they went their separate ways.
“This place is packed,” Sydney shouts in my ear, in an attempt to be heard over the pumping music that emanates from inside the house.
It’s like everyone and their mother showed up to help the Wildcats celebrate another victory. So far, they’re ranked number one in their conference. If the team keeps playing this well, they’ll take home another championship. It would be the perfect way for Rowan and the rest of the seniors to end their college football careers. I hope the soccer team can do the same. Unlike Rowan, I have no idea if I’ll go on to play professional sports. My athletic career might be over at the end of this season. It’s a depressing thought, but one I’ve been preparing myself for.
Campus Player Page 26
