Once the pounding in her cranium stopped, she started snacking on the fruit while trying to ignore the smell of cooking meat. When Alexi returned with two tablets, she accepted them, swallowed them with the juice, and put the peas down.
“Hey, don’t—”
“I’d like to avoid brain freeze. Why don’t I go settle on the couch and you can serve me there?”
He grinned and pressed a kiss on her forehead. “You got it.”
She went to her new position, turning to watch him move around the space with no shirt or shoes, just the purple joke boxers with the rubber ducks on them that she’d gotten him as a gag birthday gift. She couldn’t help but smile, feeling a touch of nostalgia, only to experience another rush of arousal as her gaze zeroed in on the way the worn fabric stretched across his ass. She let out a sigh.
“You know this could be us in the mornings when you and I are off.” He continued to move around without turning to look at her.
She sighed. Looks like there would be no avoiding the talk. “Yeah, I know, but…”
“It can work. We just have to give in and try it,” he urged.
“But the distance…” She let her words trail off, knowing she wouldn’t be able to use that defense forever.
“Nothing doing, Ti. Distance isn’t the problem. So in the next few minutes, you’ll have to give me another good reason, because we are talking about this and it will be today.” He fell silent, making her uneasy all over again.
Fifteen minutes later her headache had subsided and he was bringing over the food and coffee.
She decided to go on the attack first. “You can’t be so quixotic, Alexi. We have to be practical. I have a career to think of.”
“And I don’t?” Alexi straightened. “I have two more years to think about what I’m going to do after my career on the ice is over or if I even want it over. I’m not getting any younger.”
She mulled over his words. “I know that, but you have options. I have a new job, a reputation. I can’t just quit that.”
He huffed out a cloud of air. “I’m not asking you to do that, Ti. I would never ask you to give up your career for me. What I’m asking is for you to consider us, you and me. A relationship. A future. I don’t want to be just your fuck buddy you see every once in a while or just your best friend. I want to be both and so much more. Why are you so damn scared of that?”
“I’m not scared!” she shouted, her voice too loud in the quiet room. Only the trickle of the rain against the windows and the crackle of the fire in the hearth broke into the rising tension.
“Then why run? This can’t be your job. This can’t be a distance thing.” Alexi frowned. “It can’t be another guy. So, why? I can’t see it.”
She tried to figure out what to say or do to stop this right in its tracks. She hated feeling like the bad guy. She fought so hard to not settle into the warm and welcoming fold of being in a relationship with him, of finally doing what she’d wanted to for years and belong to him.
“Ti, honey, talk to me.” He reached out, his warm, calloused palm pressed against her cheek. A touch that soothed some of her irrational fear.
“I don’t want to lose you, Alexi,” she whispered.
“Honey—”
“You say that now, but you don’t know what I’m like in a relationship. You may not like that side of me.” She let the words flow without checking them in hopes he’d get it.
“So? You’d see the same thing in me.” Alexi shrugged.
She shook her head. “You matter to me, in ways you couldn’t possibly imagine. I can’t and won’t lose you if things go south.”
“They won’t.” His features firmed into hard lines, a stubborn light in his eyes, body rigid.
“How do you know? You can’t know the future. A lot could happen. You could meet someone,” she pointed out even as her gut tugged at the thought of him being with someone else. A possessive devil poked her in the back, wanting her to stop all this talk and show him who he should belong to despite her private unraveling a bit.
“And so could you. I should point out that you meet a lot of rich guys working in corporate law. That’s not a good enough excuse. Is this about the risk in my career? About your mom? The cancer that killed her? Is it the injuries?”
She shook her head. All the thoughts crowded together, becoming a mass of words and phrases, but nothing clear or succinct burying her real reason for all the fronts she put up. “Look, I just…”
Her words were cut off by the buzz from her cell phone. “Shit…hold on.” Rather than let him try and stop her, she answered the call. “Hello?”
Her assistant from the office blurted out, “I’m sorry to interrupt your vacation, and I wouldn’t call if it wasn’t important, but we’ve gotten into a bind with the Carter negotiations. They need you in the office ASAP.”
Tianna growled. She ended the call and ran a hand through her hair. When she’d left, things had been peachy keen. What had happened in the three days she’d been gone? “They need me at the office. Let me go take care of business, and I’ll come back.”
She started toward the bedroom area only to stop. “Fuck. You need to drive me.” She peeked at Alexi, hoping he wasn’t angry.
“Okay. Take the time away to think about what I’ve said, and when you get back, you better be ready to be honest with me, okay? I love you, Tianna, and I want this to work between us on all levels, including romantic.” Alexi strode over to her, bent down, wrapped her up in his arms, and kissed her until her lungs burned, her head throbbed, and fire raged in her body. Ache from last night be damned. She lifted her leg to curl it around his.
He pulled back and shook his head. “No. No sex until you make your decision, understand? I’m just telling you. I want you clearheaded about this.”
She nodded and disentangled from him, took a step back, and struggled to ignore the steady pulse in her nipples and between her thighs. Rather than try and seduce him, she went to her room and began packing. The trip back home couldn’t have come at a better time, but she hated leaving him like this with things unsettled. Part of her wondered if things would be resolved in time for the fireworks that the town liked to put on during this time of year. Her mind turned over their conversation, letting his words sink in. Maybe a break would make her feel less defensive. She knew in her job when she got frustrated, she needed to step away for a bit and come back to the problem before she found the solution.
She put away enough clothing as well as dirty laundry to be gone for a few days while leaving most of her stuff behind. No matter what, she wanted to be back with him by the weekend.
“Ready, Betty?” Alexi teased.
She grinned. He couldn’t be mad at her if he was making a stupid joke. “Let’s go, Joe,” she responded, giving him a light punch on the arm. “God, we’re so dorky.”
“But we’re cute dorks.” He slung his arm around her shoulder and guided her to the truck, where he stowed her stuff in the back while she settled into the passenger side. The rain had let up, but the gray clouds still remained and no sun in sight.
“I hope it clears up for the fireworks. I’m sure the fair will be in full swing once you get back, and then we can go get some deep-fried goodness.” Alexi climbed into the driver’s seat and got started.
The ride back to the city was uneventful. They made small talk—as a rule she didn’t discuss her issues with clients or her firm with outsiders, Alexi included—until they entered the city proper. “Do you want me to drive all the way there or…?”
“Drop me off and I’ll take my car. This way I can drive to the cabin myself whenever I get done.”
“All right.” He wove through midmorning traffic, one hand on the wheel. The other would drift to her leg to give it a squeeze. An ache had taken up residence in her heart at having to cut their bonding time short. “You’ll figure it out. I believe in you.” He stopped at a light, leaned over, and pressed a kiss on her cheek.
The ache lifted a
little.
“I’m sorry I’m such a mess, Alexi, I just… I don’t want to lose you. I can’t,” she blurted out.
“I know. I feel the same way, but like I keep saying, being a couple won’t really change much between us except allow us to get all gushy in public.” He chuckled. “We should try. Think about it, honey, okay? I’ll always be here for you.”
She knew that but couldn’t squash her reservations. Having friends who were divorce lawyers who would tell her horror stories of marriages gone wrong didn’t help matters. “Okay.”
“Good.” Once they made the switch to her car, she had to admit that she didn’t want to leave him like this but had no choice. Before leaving, she rose up on tiptoes, dragged him down to her, and wrapped her arms around his neck, giving him a huge kiss.
“There, you think about me, Kurraine. I’ll try and be back by Friday at the latest, okay? I’ll be too brain-dead to talk to you during the rest of the week but count on me being there for the fireworks.” She got into her sedan, slammed the door shut, and started the car. Just having that small barrier between them made her feel cut off from him, and she hated it.
Why the hell do I have to be such a scaredy-cat about this?
Because at the end of the day, Alexi is one of the most important people in my life, and losing him would be devastating. What am I going to do?
Chapter Eleven
Alexi checked his phone for the fifth time in an hour. Two days without her and no word drove him crazy. There was a hole in his heart that nothing could fill. He’d distracted himself by walking into town, going out to lunch, going fishing, checking out the fair, which was in full swing, and going up to Coach’s farm and shooting the shit. In desperation, he’d even invited a few of his teammates over for a movie so he wouldn’t be alone when he went home.
They’d managed to eat everything in the fridge and the leftovers from Mama L’s from the beginning of the week. All he had left was one box of scout cookies he’d saved for Tianna and her hot chocolate. He’d been forced to go to Gus’s for more food for the weekend. Any questions about Tianna were avoided, but he’d stayed long enough to get the local gossip.
He had a small inkling about what her true reason for refusing to commit to him was, but he wouldn’t know until she spilled it, and she would. He wouldn’t let this go with her. They had gone through so much—the loss of her mother, her getting into law school, him becoming a pro hockey player, her move to a different city—and they’d kept an open line of communication through it all. In his opinion, becoming a couple just closed any gaps between them and made things more permanent.
He got up from the couch, padded into his room, grabbed his laptop, and brought it back to the living room. After turning down the volume on the TV, he opened up a word program and began typing all the reasons why he felt that being with her was a good idea. The words flowed, some good lines, and others he had to rework several times. He got lost in his argument, trying to figure out ways to block her in and give her no wiggle room to get out of saying what she truly felt. Late afternoon turned into night. He only paused to make himself a plate of leftover barbecue, potato wedges, and grilled veggie skewers with chocolate peanut butter cheesecake pie for dessert.
Without even thinking about it, he’d devoured his meal and went back to the task at hand. Car headlights coming in through the windows around the front door illuminated the room. His heart hammered, and he prayed that Tianna had returned. He pushed the laptop off his lap and onto the couch before rushing over to the door and throwing it open, not caring about the spectacle he was making of himself.
“The fair better still be going on. I’m in desperate need of deep-fried everything,” Tianna’s weary voice called out, followed by a slam of the car door.
He rushed out of the house, barefoot and not caring one bit, and scooped her up in his arms. She let out a soft shriek before wrapping her arms around his neck. Her overnight bag crashed against his back.
“I missed you too.” She laughed and bent her head, taking his lips in a desperate kiss that left their teeth bouncing against each other and their tongues engaged in a brief bout of war before they pulled back, both of them breathing hard.
“Put me down. I’m exhausted. Is there anything to eat? I didn’t stop on the way here.”
He placed her on her feet, grabbed her hand, and led her inside. “Yeah, I had to go to Gus’s. I invited the guys over for movie night, and well, they almost ate me out of house and home.” He paused to hold up a hand to stall her arguments. “I made sure to save you a box of cookies and your hot chocolate.”
“No pie?” Her voice was small, filled with disappointment.
“I did get a pie, peanut butter chocolate cheesecake, but that’s it.” He closed the door behind them without letting go of her hand.
“Good enough.” Her stomach rumbled.
“Here, why don’t you give me your bag and I’ll put it in my room and you help yourself.” He held out his hand and accepted the sack. “I’m glad you’re home.”
“Almost didn’t drive here. Thought it wouldn’t be light enough.” Her voice followed him up the stairs and down the hall. “Also, I was so mentally tired. Hope you don’t mind. I stopped off at your place and took a nap before I continued on here.”
He grinned. “Don’t mind at all.” He returned, finding her in the living room, curled up on the couch, a tray on her lap and his computer next to her, her attention turned to the screen. “Shit, Ti, I’m not… Don’t read that!”
She didn’t look up, nor did she stop. “You love me no matter what. You’ve seen me at my worst—no makeup, sick, and with horrible breath and still hugged me, even though you hate bad breath and loved me. You can’t live without me in your life and want more than just sex and friendship, you want it all well into the future, even marriage. Wow, Alexi, I had no idea that dealing with morning bad breath was such a big deal with you.”
He shrugged and dropped onto the couch. “Well, it can be kind of gross, especially since you’d been throwing up and all.” He pulled a face and shuddered.
“Well, there is that. Good point. What is this?” She nudged the laptop away from her but didn’t turn it around.
“My list of arguments to make you see that we should become a couple.” He watched her face. No flinching or withdrawing, which was a good sign to him. “You’re my other half, Tianna. You get my stupid humor. You know me in and out. Seen me at my worst and best, keep me levelheaded, and pop the big ego balloon. You keep me grounded. I love you with every inch of my being and then some. I need you in my life, not just as my best friend but as my partner, my lover, my everything.” He waited for her to reject him.
“I’ve been thinking about it. In between beating my head into the table because of my client’s reticence for practical advice.” She gave him a rueful smile. “I’m so damn tired I’m giving you a glimpse into my work life which, you know as a policy, I don’t do. Not just for my clients but for my reputation.”
He nodded. “Go on.”
“So for the past two days, when resisting the urge to strangle several of my colleagues and my client, I’ve been thinking over what you told me.” She picked up the tray, put it on the coffee table, and turned to fully face him. “I’m afraid, Alexi. I know, I know, but I still am. After my dad, my relationship with you means everything to me. I’ve heard the horror stories from friends of mine who are divorce lawyers. Stories like ours, best friends turned lovers and then got married and then things went to shit. I don’t want that to be us. I’m scared of losing you. I can deal with injuries, road trips, and all that stuff, but the thought of it getting so bad between us that I can’t pick up the phone and just call you scares the shit out of me.”
She swallowed and paused long enough to take a drink of water. He reached over and rubbed her legs, trying to give her all the support he could with his touch without interrupting her. “But after really contemplating it, all the things we’ve been through, I know
one thing: I want you by my side in this life. Without you, I’d have nothing else other than work and Dad. You bring me out of my head. You make me see the world and life, even if it’s just the two of us. I love you for that, for all the little things you do and put up with me. Even when my schedule is crazy and I can only see you for lunch, that means everything to me that you’d take that time for me.” She gave him a small smile.
“So if you want to, we take it slow. We go on dates, we work it out, we talk, and if I get scared again, we still talk about it, okay?”
He let out a whoop and tackled her to the couch until he lay on top of her. “More than okay. I promise, no pressure. We’ll work it out, we always do.”
“Yeah, still scared,” she muttered as he got off her. She picked up her tray, put it on her lap, and began eating once more. “Now, put on a movie before I have a freak-out, okay?”
He understood her fear. She hated change, always had since her mother died; even going to different colleges had scared the shit out of her. I stood by her and we worked through it all, he thought as he put in the movie. They could get through anything.
* * * *
Fireworks bloomed overhead. Tianna put the finishing touches on the picnic blanket. Torches flicked a few feet away, bathing the area in rich golden pools of light until the red, blue, green, and yellow exploded. Music and firecrackers popped in the distance as the town proper celebrated. Even the boom of Witch Fields could be heard this far away.
“Going for a second try with the romance, ’cause I have to say it’s working.” Alexi approached with a bottle of wine.
“Well, yeah, I’m going to keep trying until I get it right.” She grinned and accepted the vino. “What? No beer?” she teased.
“Wanted something special. Tomorrow afternoon we drive back. This is our last night here until we can coordinate our schedules again so I figured…” His voice trailed off.
Goose bumps rose on her bare flesh. She swallowed as emotion filled her heart, weighing it down but making her feel light. Her mouth widened into a grin until it ached.
Facing Off with Alexi (Witch Field Prowlers Book 2) Page 8
