by Lili Valente
“But you’ll be even more awake if you have to listen to me blab with my sister for half an hour,” I say, shrugging into my gray dress and pulling on a sweater as I step into my clogs. “I’ll call from the office in the lobby where I won’t bother anyone and be back soon.”
“Seriously, Lizzy, I don’t—”
“Sleep. I’ll be back in a few.” I blow him a kiss, grab the key from the desk, and start for the door with my phone clutched tight in my sweating palm.
23
Elizabeth
Downstairs in the cozy, couch-filled lobby, a pair of sleepy-looking delivery boys are unloading crates of milk and juice by the front door and the night clerk is arranging flowers behind the desk.
When she sees me padding down the carpeted steps, she smiles and steps away from her work, “Good morning, miss. How can I help?”
“I just need to make a quick call and didn’t want to wake my friend,” I say softly, motioning to the phone in my hand. “Is it okay to use the business center?”
“Of course.” She extends her arm toward the glass door on the other side of the lobby. “It’s just there. Or if you’d like more privacy, feel free to step into the back garden. We won’t start setting up the tables for the breakfast service until half past six.”
“That’s perfect, thank you so much.” I smile and start toward the exit to the garden, passing my phone from hand to hand as I wipe my clammy palms on my sweater.
What on earth is Zan going to say at three in the morning?
I have no idea, but Zan isn’t the type to send a message like that unless she has serious suspicions and evidence to back them up.
Outside, the air is cool and quiet, the darkness broken by three softly glowing gas lamps that flicker at the edges of the brick patio. The café tables and chairs are stacked against the garden wall to my left, leaving the entire space open to pace as I tap Zan’s contact number and lift the phone to my ear.
She answers in the middle of the first ring, her voice humming with tension as she says, “Tell me you’re alone.”
“I’m alone,” I whisper, crossing my free arm over my chest and continuing to pace. “I’m in the hotel garden. Jeffrey’s upstairs in the room. What is this all about?”
“So you’re still with him.” She sighs. “I was hoping you’d gone your separate ways. What on earth are the two of you up to?”
“He’s helping me with something,” I say vaguely, and immediately regret it. Zan isn’t the type to be satisfied with vague, especially not when she’s in mama bear mode.
“With what?” she demands, as I expected.
“We’re looking into something I want to learn more about.”
“What kind of—”
“That’s all I’m going to say about it,” I cut in firmly. “But I will say this—Jeffrey’s been nothing but sweet and supportive.” I bite my bottom lip before adding, “And occasionally overbearing, but even that comes from a good place. He’s become a good friend and has given me no reason to doubt that his friendship is sincere.”
I leave out the part about being addicted to his penis.
Zan doesn’t need to know that part. No one needs to know that part. That’s private, just between Jeffrey and me.
And his penis.
“Maybe it is,” Zan says in a tone that infers it most certainly is not, “but I know beyond a shadow of doubt that his younger brother, Nick, isn’t the easy-going party boy he pretends to be. He’s mixed up with some very bad people, Lizzy, and there’s a chance Jeffrey is involved.”
I frown. “What kind of people?”
“Bad ones.”
I roll my eyes and spin to pace back in the other direction. “Can you be a little more specific?”
“I don’t know. Can you? What are you doing with this man that you can’t talk to me about? I’m your sister. I know we don’t talk as often as we used to, but I’ve been on your side since day one, and I still am. Always. I would do anything for you. No matter what you’re struggling with you can always come to me and I’ll make time to help. You know that, right?”
“Of course I do,” I lie, my throat going tight.
I can’t go to Zan about this. Zan is even more logical and no-nonsense than Jeffrey. She would probably have me committed. And maybe I should be, but at least Jeffrey’s willing to allow the possibility that there are forces at play he might not understand.
“Then talk to me,” she says. “Better yet, come visit me in Zurich. I’ll take a couple of days off work. We can catch up, rest up, and then dig into this problem. Whatever it is, I’m better equipped to help than Jeffrey Von Bergen and far less likely to put your life in danger.”
I stop pacing, going still by the stacked café chairs. “My life in danger? What is Nick caught up in? Drugs or something?”
“I can’t get into the specifics.” Zan sighs. “But it’s serious and scary, and even if he wants to turn his life around, there’s a chance it’s too late.”
“It’s never too late.” Sometime in the past few days, I’ve started to believe in redemption, for myself and everyone else. “Jeffrey will help him. He loves his brothers so much, I’m sure he—”
“You can’t tell him about this, Lizzy,” Zan cuts in, fear in her voice. “Seriously. Promise me. Swear to me right now that you won’t say a word to him.”
I wince and swallow hard, the thought leaving a bad taste in my mouth. “I can’t, Zan. He’s my friend, and I don’t lie to people I care about.”
“Bullshit. You’ve been lying to all of us for years. Or however long you’ve been planning to send Sabrina to the slaughter in your place.”
“She’s not being slaughtered,” I insist, hurt by the bitterness in her tone. “She’s happy. She and Andrew are in love.”
“They’re in lust, making fools of themselves sucking face on every beach in Greece while the press eats up the scandal with a spoon. We all knew Andrew was an oblivious idiot, but I expected better from Sabrina.”
“Sabrina is in love, and Andrew isn’t an idiot.” I frown into the shadows. “You’re just weird about public displays of affection because of where we grew up. It’s normal for most people.”
“No, Lizzy, none of this is normal. And until I find out how deep the not normal goes, I need you to keep quiet about Nick.”
I bite my lip, torn, but the more I think about it, the more I know I can’t do what she asks. “Zan, please. I can’t. If his brother is in trouble, Jeffrey deserves to know about it. If our situations were reversed and he kept information about you or Sabrina from me, I’d be livid. It would be a betrayal.”
“Shit,” Zan mutters, her breath rushing out. “Great. That’s just great.”
“What’s great?”
“You’re in love with him,” she spits.
“I’m not,” I lie again.
Okay, so I do lie to the people I love, but only to spare them pain. Zan is clearly worried and likely to get more worried if she thinks I have strong feelings for a man she suspects might be dangerous. I just have to convince her there’s no need to be afraid for my safety.
“But I do care about him,” I continue. “And he cares about me. I know he does, Zan. And I know he deserves my trust. Whatever you think Nick’s involved with, Jeffrey isn’t a part of it.”
“Maybe not, but he’s still dangerous by association, and I already have one sister to worry about. Sabrina is safe in Greece for now and Andrew has no idea what’s going on with Nick, but that could change at any time. I just need you to stay out of harm’s way, okay?
I prop a hand on my hip, realizing what’s bothering me most about all this. “How did you find out about Nick’s involvement with these ‘bad people?’ And how do you know what Andrew knows or doesn’t know?”
“I can’t tell you that, either,” she says, before adding tightly, “Please, Lizzy, I need you to trust me. I shouldn’t have told you any of this. I could get in serious trouble for it, actually, but I had to take the risk. Ju
st…tell Jeffrey something came up and you have to go home. Then go home and stay there until I give you the all clear, okay? Hopefully it won’t take more than a few months to sort this out.”
“I don’t have a few months to waste,” I say before I think better of it.
“What do you mean?”
I squeeze my eyes shut, cursing my sleep-deprived brain as I do my best to improvise. “I mean that I’ve wasted enough of my life. I’m not going to waste any more. I’m going to finish this with Jeffrey, and nothing is going to stop me.”
Zan makes a pained sound, followed by a soft, “Fuck,” and an even softer…sob?
Is she crying?
Zan?
The triplet voted least likely to show weakness or emotion, twenty-five years running?
“Zan?” I whisper. “Are you…” I don’t dare say the word. I can’t remember the last time I saw Zan cry.
Have I ever? Surely, sometime in our shared years on earth, I have, but I can’t remember it.
“I’ve fucked up, Lizzy,” Zan says. “I haven’t slept in days, and I…” She sniffs. “I obviously didn’t think this through. I forgot how damned stubborn you can be.”
“I’m sorry,” I say, feeling awful. “But I’m safe with Jeffrey. Everything is okay. I promise.”
“No, it isn’t,” she says thickly, “but hopefully it will be soon. Until then, until you hear from me, just promise me you won’t go to Gallantia with Jeffrey or anywhere near Nick. Okay?”
“Okay,” I say, relieved that she’s asking for something I can deliver.
“And you can’t tell Jeffrey what I told you. Not a word.”
I start to protest, but she cuts me off, “For my sake,” she adds. “I could get in serious trouble, Lizzy. Serious, serious trouble. Potentially life-threatening trouble. Do you understand?”
“No, I don’t,” I say, my pulse thudding in my throat. “Zan, what’s going on? What are you caught up in? Do you need my help? Because right now it sounds like Nick isn’t the only one caught in a dangerous situation.”
“I’ll be fine as long as you keep quiet. I’ll be fine, and I’ll do my best to ensure he’s okay, too. So promise me, okay?”
“Zan, you can’t tell me your life is in danger and then—”
“Promise me!” Her voice is loud enough to make me flinch and pull my phone from my ear. “My life won’t be in danger as long as you keep what I told you to yourself, okay? Just keep your mouth shut. Can you do that? For my sake? Or are you too far up Jeffrey’s ass to care what happens to your family?”
I press a fist to my chest where my ribs are squeezing my heart too tight. “Of course I care. I can’t believe you would even think that. I would do anything for you or Sabrina. Or Mom or Dad. I would give my life, Zan. In a heartbeat.”
“You don’t have to give your life,” she says, then adds in a softer voice, “You just need to keep this secret and stay away from Nikolas Von Bergen. Will you do that? Please?”
“Yes,” I say, dragging a hand through my hair.
“You swear?”
“I swear.” I shiver. “But please, Zan, if you’re in trouble, let me help. At least tell me what you’re up to so I’ll know where to start looking if you drop off the face of the earth.”
“I won’t. I’ll be fine. And I can take care of myself. You know that.”
I shake my head. “I don’t know what I know. Everything feels upside down.”
“Well, we live on a sphere. Everyone’s upside down sometimes.”
“Don’t do that.” My forehead furrows. “Don’t make jokes. This isn’t funny.”
“No, it isn’t,” she agrees with a sigh. “I’m sorry. I should have handled this better. I should have made up some story, something to keep you away from Nick that wouldn’t put you at risk. I don’t have any evidence that Jeffrey’s involved, but I don’t have evidence that he’s not, either, and I just… I let fear convince me to do a stupid thing.”
“I’m glad you told me the truth. I don’t want stories. I’m sick to death of them. I want truth, even when it’s hard.” I curl my fingers into a fist as I pace back across the bricks, wanting to say more, but this isn’t the time to add anything else to Zan’s plate. I’ll wait until after we’ve found Kaula. If after I’ve spoken to her I still can’t find reason to hope, I’ll get real with my sisters then.
For now, they’re both better off not knowing.
“Hang in there, okay?” I whisper. “And know my thoughts and my heart are always with you.”
“Same here. I’ll call soon, okay?”
“Okay, but I might not have cell service for a few days. Jeffrey and I are going camping in the north country.”
“Camping?” Her lip curl is audible in her voice. “You hate nature.”
“I don’t hate nature. I hate getting sweaty in nature, but there’s nothing better than a shade tree and a good book.”
“So, you and Jeffrey are driving all the way up to the outer reaches of civilization to read together in the shade?”
“He may fish or hike or something.” My skin goes prickly as the lies start to pile up again. I swear, if I see the other side of twenty-six, I’m going to stop lying. Completely. In an effort to make good on the vow, I add truthfully, “And we’ll probably make out a lot. We’re pretty into making out.”
Zan snorts. “Gross. But…good for you. It’s been a long time since you’ve had a make-out partner.”
“It has. What about you? Your divorce has been final for a while. Any romantic prospects on the horizon?”
“I’m married to work, and I like it that way. Work doesn’t bang other women while I’m out of town.”
“But work doesn’t give very good hugs, either,” I say gently. “And we all need hugs. I’d forgotten how perfect that can be. Just to be held, you know? By someone who really wants to hold you.”
Zan’s quiet for a moment. “Yeah. I know. Be careful, big sister. Talk to you soon.”
“Talk soon,” I promise. “And Zan?”
“Yeah?’
“You’ve got this. Whatever it is. You’ve always been able to handle any challenge, no matter how big. You’ll handle this, too, and come out on top.”
“Thanks,” she says, mumbling something I can’t quite make out, then, “Love you. Be safe.”
“You, too.” I end the call, but I don’t turn to go inside.
Letting my arms drop to my sides, I tip my head back, staring up through the branches arching over the courtyard. But there are no stars to guide me tonight. The clouds are too thick.
Back in the room, I’m not surprised to find Jeffrey awake and sitting in the armchair by the window, the lamp on the desk casting his handsome face in hard sidelight and one of the magazines the hotel provides for tourists in his lap.
He looks up as I step through the door, his brows lifting. “Everything all right?”
Without a word, I cross the room, stepping out of my clogs so I’m barefoot when I crawl into his lap, wrap my arms around him, and pop my face under his arm.
He grunts softly and hugs me close. “That bad?”
“I can’t talk about it,” I confess to his armpit, which is as lovely smelling as ever. “It’s private. I’m sorry.”
“It’s all right,” he says, making it easy for me to keep my promise to Zan. He’s so understanding. I’m sure he wouldn’t be, though, not if he knew his brother might be in danger.
But Zan is on the case, and Zan is the best at what she does—anything she does. I just have to trust that she’ll be the best at this, too, and that I’m not putting Jeffrey’s family at risk by protecting mine.
“Is there anything I can do?” He rubs his hand gently up and down my back in a way that’s so comforting it makes me feel even worse.
I don’t deserve comfort.
Not the comfort of his hands or his arms or his armpit.
I pull back, looking into his eyes, seeing nothing but concern and care reflected there. Whatever Nick
’s swept up in, Jeffrey isn’t part of it. I’ve no doubt whatsoever. And maybe it’s best to keep the situation with Nick from him for now. He’s already got enough on his plate, falling in love with a woman who’s cursed, crazy, or possibly both.
He is falling in love with me, the same way I am with him. It’s clear in the way he touches his forehead to mine and says, “Or I can just be here and hope that’s enough.”
“It’s more than enough,” I whisper, shifting my head to bring my lips closer to his.
And then I kiss him, and our clothes fall away, and everything is simple again. Loving him is simple, blissful, perfect, and healing—better than any dream.
But is it enough to banish the nightmares from my past…
24
Jeffrey
Usually if something wakes me during the night, I’m up until morning. But I must have drifted off at some point because the next thing I know, Lizzy is shaking me gently awake.
“I brought you coffee and a Danish, some fruit, and a side of bacon.” She motions to the desk, where her offerings are waiting. “They were about to stop serving breakfast, so I just grabbed a few things I thought you’d like.”
I sit up in bed, rubbing a hand down my face. “What time is it?”
“Nearly eleven. Check out is in an hour.”
I curse softly. “Sorry. You should have woken me.”
“It’s fine,” she says with a smile, backing toward the bathroom. “We’ll still have plenty of time to get where we need to be. I’m just going to grab a quick shower.” She hesitates at the door, an unreadable expression flickering across her face. And then she says, “I like you, Jeffrey,” and balloons inflate inside my chest.
“I like you, too, Lizzy.”
“And not just for kissing. I like waking up with you and knowing we’re going to spend the day together, too.” She skims her fingers up and down the wood around the doorframe, her gaze following the path of her hand. “I consider you a friend. A good friend.”
“I feel the same way,” I lie, forcing myself to return her smile, holding it in place until she pops into the bathroom and shuts the door, at which point it falls to the floor and shatters.
