She nodded slowly.
“I— So I hired someone last year,” Dwight was saying. “A private aide. To check on your sister every few days and give her extra care.”
Of all the things he’d said tonight that had shocked her, nothing had come close to this. Pauline couldn’t breathe for a moment.
“It’s a good facility, but nurses are stretched thin everywhere,” Dwight said. “He’s really excellent, Pauline—I had him checked out first. So this aide comes to, you know, read to her. Things like that.”
To paint her fingernails. To sing to her, she thought. Carlos.
He violated my trust, Pauline thought, but what I did was even worse. I never truly trusted him in the first place.
“Pauline?” Dwight said. “Please don’t cry. I’m so sorry.”
She knew he thought it was because of Allie, but she couldn’t explain, not now. Her throat was too tight for her to speak. But she could do something else. She could get up, and climb into Dwight’s lap, and feel him hold her while she sobbed.
Maybe it isn’t too late, she thought as she held on to his shirt tightly with both hands. Maybe, for once, our timing is exactly right.
Chapter Twenty-Four
* * *
The Last Day
TINA ZIPPED HER SUITCASE shut and walked over to the private balcony off the sitting area of their bedroom.
She stepped outside and spun in a slow half circle, trying to soak everything in for the last time. She wanted to absorb the sweet-salty smell of Jamaica, feel its warmth on her skin, and hear the unhurried rhythm of its waves.
“Do you think that kid down the street drank all my beer?”
Tina smiled but didn’t turn around.
“Definitely,” she said. “He probably had a few parties at the house, too.”
“That’s what I would’ve done at his age,” Gio said. “As long as they didn’t break the TV.”
He came up behind her and wrapped his arms around her, kissing the back of her neck.
“Actually, I guarantee we drank more on this trip than any teenagers,” Tina said, leaning into him. “It’s going to take me a few weeks to dry out from all that alcohol!”
“Ready to go?” Gio asked.
Tina was looking out at the exact spot where the sky blended into the water. She could stare at that shade of blue forever, she thought. If only she could fix the hue in her mind. Maybe she’d try to match it and paint her bedroom that color someday.
“Just give me five minutes,” she said.
“Okay,” Gio said. She could hear the bedroom door shut behind him, as if he knew she needed solitude.
She sat down on a big wooden chair and tilted her face up to the sun. She needed to hold on to this feeling, she thought. On those days when she was bleary-eyed from lack of sleep and couldn’t find matching clean socks for the kids and had to dig through the laundry basket, searching for the least smelly ones, she’d need to remember Jamaica’s lesson: Everything would get easier in time. Paolo would grow into his puppy feet and Angela would change to a fancy new shampoo instead of one with a cartoon character on the bottle, and Jessica would eventually get a cell phone and Sammy would step onto the school bus with a brand-new lunch box for kindergarten while she stood on the sidewalk, hiding her tears as she waved good-bye.
It seemed impossibly far away, but she knew that day was rushing toward her, as inexorably as the waves.
She reached into her pocket for the perfect shell she’d discovered on the beach yesterday. It was creamy white and crescent-shaped, with a mother-of-pearl sheen on the inside. She was going to turn it into a key chain fob so she’d see it every day. Maybe this talisman would help her remember.
But first, she thought as she ran her fingers over the shell, she was going to sit here and do absolutely nothing but breathe for the next three hundred seconds.
Chapter Twenty-Five
* * *
Departures
“CALEB?” PAULINE SPOKE INTO the phone. “We’re over the Atlantic now. We’ll be landing in half an hour.”
“The cars are ready,” the house manager said. “They’re at the airport—one for every couple except Savannah and Gary. I checked ten minutes ago, and their connecting flight to North Carolina is scheduled to depart on time. Gate A-Twenty-Three. Is there anything else, Ms. Glass?”
“No, thank you. See you in a bit.” Pauline hung up the phone and watched as the steward cleared away the platters of cheeses and summer sausages and strawberries from the main cabin. The group was much more subdued than they’d been on the trip down, she thought.
Her eyes slowly traveled over the couples. Allie was reaching for Ryan’s hand, and Ryan was smiling and brushing a strand of hair out of Allie’s eyes . . . and now Allie was leaning back and Pauline could see her lips tremble before she pressed them tightly together. Would Allie ever tell Ryan what had happened with Dwight? Pauline wondered. She supposed she should hate Allie, but for some reason, she didn’t, not any longer.
Pauline looked across the aisle, at Tina dozing against her seat’s headrest. Gio was reading something on his BlackBerry and frowning, but his other hand was resting on Tina’s knee. Just looking at them, you could tell they were going to make it. They’d be the type of couple who slow-danced at their fiftieth wedding anniversary while their grandchildren cheered.
Then there was Savannah, sitting across from Gary in yet another too-short skirt. Did she buy them in the teen departments of stores? Pauline wondered. Gary was lifting up his glass of wine, and offering it to Savannah because her glass was empty and the steward was busy with the dishes from the snacks. Pauline watched as Savannah looked at Gary for a long moment. She didn’t smile, or thank him, but she finally reached over and drank from his glass.
The only one left was Pauline’s husband, sitting alone in a big leather chair. He was apart from the others, and his chair was tilted toward the window, facing away from Allie.
It still hurt to know what had happened with Allie—it hurt more than Pauline thought possible. She’d imagined that she was the one who brought grace and beauty into his life, that she was the only one he thought about when he closed his eyes at night.
But then again, didn’t all marriages carry thousands of hurts? Didn’t husbands and wives injure each other all the time, leaving wounds both big and small, with snapped words or forgotten anniversaries or emotional buttons deliberately pushed? But thousands of kindnesses existed in marriages, too. The important thing was that the kindnesses triumphed over the hurts.
She’d hurt Dwight, too.
She walked back down the aisle and sat next to him, feeling exhausted. It had been such a very long week.
Tonight she’d tell Dwight more about Therese. She’d bring him a glass of scotch, and ask him to sit with her on the couch. She’d tell him everything. About rushing to the hospital. About holding Therese’s soft hand as she died. She’d lay bare every single secret she’d ever kept from him.
“I love you,” she whispered, so quietly she wasn’t sure if he could hear her.
She waited, tears brimming behind her closed eyelids, until she heard her husband repeat the words in answer.
Those three small words could contain so many different meanings—an apology, an implicit promise, an answer to an unspoken question, a good-bye . . .
But as she felt his arm reach around her shoulders and pull her close, she knew, beyond the shadow of a doubt, that they also held the strength to carry her and Dwight through, into a new future.
* * *
Acknowledgments
* * *
I’m beyond lucky to get to work with Victoria Sanders and Greer Hendricks, the agent and editor of my dreams. This book is dedicated to them for their invaluable guidance and constant support. I cherish our friendship and look forward to many more books together.
Atria Books is a wonderful home for authors, a nurturing publishing house that’s committed to building the careers of writers. In the publishi
ng world, it’s a rare and special place indeed. I’m so grateful to be a part of the Atria family. Publisher Judith Curr is a class act as well as a visionary, and the rest of her team—Paul Olsewski, Chris Lloreda, Lisa Sciambra, Lisa Keim, Carole Schwindeller, Hillary Tisman, Anne Spieth, and Yona Deshommes—are a pleasure to collaborate with. I remain ever grateful to the amazing Sarah Cantin for her constant help and kindness, and I’m thrilled to be working with the dynamo publicist Cristina Suarez.
Superpublicists Marcy Engelman and Emily Gambir have worked magic on my novels—I’m proud to be your client, and in awe of what you’ve done! Thank you, thank you.
At Victoria Sanders & Associates, Bernadette Baker-Baughman and Chris Kepner are on top of every last detail, always with patience and good humor. And my foreign rights agent, Chandler Crawford, continues to bring my novels to new countries, which is always a thrill. My thanks to Chandler and to my publishers overseas, especially Simon & Schuster Australia for all their support.
Anna Dorfman creates gorgeous, distinctive covers for my books, and the sharp-eyed copy editor Susan M. S. Brown continues to catch my errors and save me from embarrassment (her best catch on this book—I had a character covering her hand with her mouth. Whoops.).
Helping me get some critical hurricane-related details right were Dr. Will Drennan of the University of Miami. And Lisa Kinsley, certified genetic counselor, also generously gave of her time and expertise. Any errors, however, are mine alone.
Rachel Baker and Michelle Subaran helped me recall the beauty and power of Jamaica (it has been a while since I’ve visited!), and I’m so grateful for their expertise and their patient answers to all my questions. Thank you, wonderful friends!
And to all the amazing book bloggers who have taken the time to read and review my novels, and to the booksellers and librarians who have recommended them—your support means everything. A special shout-out to Kathy Roberts and Jen Karsbaek for doing an early read of The Best of Us.
I’m so happy that readers have taken the time to find me on Facebook and Twitter. I love hearing from you and sharing the publication process with you! You’ve helped me name characters, come up with titles, and inspired me on days when the words refused to show up on the page. Thank you doesn’t begin to cover it. For any readers who would like to connect on social media, please come find me—I’m waiting for you!
My parents, John and Lynn Pekkanen, and our “Alvie”—Olivia Cortez—help keep my kids happy when I’m on deadline and help keep me sane (at least somewhat). My love to you all.
And to Glenn and our boys, Jack, Will, and Dylan. The only thing better than writing books is getting to have you as my family.
The Best of Us
SARAH PEKKANEN
A Readers Club Guide
Questions and Topics for Discussion
1. Which of the women in The Best of Us did you most identify with, and why?
2. Discuss the four marriages that are depicted in The Best of Us. What kinds of adjectives would you use to describe each of them? Do any of your past or current relationships have similarities to one or more of these marriages? Which marriage seems the strongest and the most appealing to you?
3. What do you think each woman learns from her time in Jamaica? How does the trip change each of them?
4. At several points in the novel, Gio makes jabs at Dwight and the way that his financial success is on display during the vacation. Allie suggests that Gio’s ability to provide for his family might be a sensitive point for him, saying, “Everyone has different emotional triggers, and even if they don’t make sense to the rest of us, it’s important to respect them”. What is this moment in the novel saying about both Allie and Gio? And do you agree with Allie’s assessment?
5. Savannah has many, many witty lines over the course of the novel. Did you have a favorite? She also doesn’t hesitate to say exactly what she is thinking, which contrasts with the personalities of “peacemakers” like Allie. Which woman are you more like, and has there ever been a time when you’ve slipped into the other’s role?
6. As Allie faces the possibility of a fatal illness, she begins to second-guess many aspects of her life, including her relationship with Ryan. She wonders: “Had she been mistaking her husband’s passivity for agreeableness all these years?”. How did you interpret Ryan’s easygoing nature? What do you think this quote is saying about the behavior patterns that couples fall into over time?
7. Tina is devastated when she realizes she forgot to call her kids on the first night they all arrive in Jamaica—and then wonders why Gio hadn’t remembered, either. How are their parenting styles shown to differ throughout the novel? How do you think one’s role as a parent affects one’s role in a marriage?
8. There are many characters in The Best of Us who look for forgiveness at some point during the narrative. What do you think the novel is saying about the role of second chances in marriages and close friendships? Should they be freely given? And can romantic or platonic love ever truly be unconditional?
9. Which aspect of the trip to Jamaica sounded the most appealing to you? However, as relaxing as a vacation can be, The Best of Us illustrates that it can also be an occasion for stress. Did this resonate with you? Why do you think this happens?
10. Since Savannah, Allie, and Tina were all close friends in college, Pauline is less comfortable with them, and sometimes appears to be standoffish. Did your opinion of Pauline change over the course of the novel?
11. After learning that Dwight has cheated on her, Pauline thinks, “He violated my trust, but what I did was even worse. I never truly trusted him in the first place”. Do you agree with this?
12. “Didn’t all marriages carry thousands of hurts? Didn’t husbands and wives injure each other all the time, leaving wounds both big and small, with snapped words or forgotten anniversaries or emotional buttons deliberately pushed? But thousands of kindnesses existed in marriages, too. The important thing was that the kindnesses triumphed over the hurts”. Do you agree with this assessment of marriage? If you had to pick one mantra or saying that defined a successful romantic relationship to you, what would it be?
Enhance Your Reading Group
1. Savannah makes a playlist of songs from their college years to bring along on the trip to Jamaica. If you were to make a playlist of the hits from your college years, what would be on it? Share your compilation with the group.
2. If you haven’t already, read Sarah Pekkanen’s Skipping a Beat as a group. Compare and contrast the portrayal of marriage in each book.
3. In many ways, the trip to Jamaica that Pauline and Dwight plan for their friends sounds like a dream vacation. What does your dream vacation look like? Where would you travel to, and what kinds of activities would you ideally do there? Would you want to travel with family or friends—or even go by yourself? Share your imaginings with the group.
PHOTO CREDIT: HILARY SCHWAB
SARAH PEKKANEN is the internationally bestselling author of The Opposite of Me, Skipping a Beat, and These Girls. Her work has been published in People, The Washington Post, and USA Today, among other publications. She lives with her family in Chevy Chase, Maryland.
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COVER DESIGN BY ANNA DORFMAN
COVER PHOTOGRAPHS © PLUSH STUDIOS/GETTY IMAGES (POOL/DECK/TREES);
TRINETTE REED/GETTY IMAGES (WOMAN)
STEPBACK PHOTOGRAPH © JOHN ANTHONY RIZZO/GETTY IMAGES
Also by Sarah Pekkanen
The Opposite of Me
Skipping a Beat
These Girls
We hope you enjoyed reading this Atria Books eBook.
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This book is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places, and incidents either are products of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously. Any resemblance to actual events or locales or persons, living or dead, is entirely coincidental.
Copyright © 2013 by Sarah Pekkanen
All rights reserved, including the right to reproduce this book or portions thereof in any form whatsoever. For information address Washington Square Press Subsidiary Rights Department, 1230 Avenue of the Americas, New York, NY 10020.
First Washington Square Press trade paperback edition April 2013
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Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data
Pekkanen, Sarah.
The best of us : a novel / Sarah Pekkanen. — 1st Washington Square Press trade paperback ed.
p. cm.
1. Female friendship—Fiction. 2. Self-realization in women— Fiction. I. Title.
PS3616.E358B47 2013
813'.6—dc23
2012036378
ISBN 978-1-4516-7351-7
The Best of Us Page 30
