She shook her head, impressed despite herself that he’d realized her intentions for the renovations without her speaking them. “The kitchen hasn’t been remodeled since I took over. I’d like to tweak the design and upgrade appliances.”
“What about the other cabins? Can you show me what else was affected? What’s your time frame?”
“I haven’t agreed to this.” She tapped one boot on the floor. “I don’t want you here, Trevor.”
“Great,” he answered. “That’s something we agree on, because I don’t want to be here, either. But it’s going to be the easiest way for Grace to spend time with you, and I know my daughter. She will want access to you.” He leveled a look at her. “Are you sure you’re ready for this?”
“When the alternative is a tree in my kitchen?”
He shook his head. “I mean being a part of Grace’s life.”
No, she wanted to scream, I’m not ready for any of it. To have the constant reminder of not only her sister but also the knowledge of an intimate relationship between Bryce and Trevor. Sam had been the link between them growing up, and now she was on the outside again.
“Did you love my sister?” She couldn’t stop the question any more than she could slow the beat of her heart. “After I was gone did you two fall in love? Is that how this happened?”
“Does it matter?”
“Yes,” she answered, even though she wished it didn’t.
He blew out a breath. “No, Bryce and I weren’t in love. We weren’t even really a couple. I tried to make it work when she got pregnant but . . .” He pressed his hands to the counter, his fingers flexing against the edge. “I didn’t realize how bad of shape she was in after you left.”
“She hated me for getting out of that town.”
“It’s not your fault she didn’t make it,” Trevor answered. “She had the same chance you did, Sam.”
She heard a sound escape her lips that might have been a sob. Those simple words slayed her because she’d always blamed herself for her sister’s downward spiral. The need to help other troubled teens the way she hadn’t been able to save her twin had shaped the last decade of her life.
Trevor went to step around the island toward her, but she shook her head. “I just need to know about you and Bryce,” she whispered. Anything more would push her over the emotional cliff she was clinging on to.
“I moved to Tulsa right after graduation and was taking a few classes at a community college. There were three of us in this crappy apartment. I was working construction during the day and going to school at night.” He turned, touched a finger to one of the pine branches, a ghost of a smile playing across his lips. “She’d come down on the weekends to hang out, and it was good to see someone from home. To be with someone . . .” His voice trailed off as his gaze shifted to Sam. “Bryce wasn’t the only one angry about being left behind. We had fun together and . . . yeah, things happened.”
“Sex happened.” Sam said the words out loud to remind herself not to get caught up in the memories of that time—everything she’d given up to escape her fate in that dead-end small town. “You two ever think about birth control?”
“She told me she was on the pill.” Trevor’s voice had become a bitter echo. “That was a lie. Not the first one she told me, but the one that changed everything.” Now he did move toward her, stopping when they were only a foot apart. “She wanted to get pregnant. It was her plan all along.”
Sam felt her mouth drop open. “No,” she whispered. “Why?”
“To punish you,” he said through clenched teeth. “Bryce hijacked my whole damn life as part of her irrational war against you. The pregnancy was a shock, but I wanted to marry her. I thought we were going to try . . .” He choked out a laugh. “It doesn’t matter. I was always a fool for you and your sister.”
“Trevor, no,” she said, shaking her head. No wonder he hated her.
“She didn’t want anyone from Colby to know, which was fine with me. We moved to Oklahoma City. I got a full-time job and she waitressed. I thought she’d change her mind about being a part of the baby’s life, but she was set on relinquishing custody.”
“You should have called me.”
“And risk Bryce disappearing?” He shook his head. “That wasn’t an option even if I’d wanted it to be. It was her choice, Sam.”
She didn’t mention that Bryce had left a message for her during that time. She’d never forgive herself for not returning her sister’s call.
“My grandma moved to town just before Grace was born. She bought a small house, and Gracie and I moved in with her. I’m not sure if Bryce would have come around or eventually told you, but once she moved back to Colby, things went downhill fast. I didn’t want my daughter near that, so we left. I had to protect Grace, and it seemed better than staying.”
Sam felt a tear track down her face, but before she could wipe it, Trevor smoothed a finger across her cheek. As much as she wanted to look away, she held his gaze. As much as she wanted to continue hating him, she couldn’t deny that he’d been the one to bear the brunt of the mistakes she and her sister had made. “So you’ll do the work on the camp and keep an eye on me when I’m with Grace?”
“Unfortunately, I have a difficult time taking my eyes off of you.” He shifted closer and though he didn’t smile, there was a hint of ironic amusement in his gaze. “This is going to be a problem.” He leaned closer and she held her breath. She couldn’t remember the last time she’d been kissed by a man, but no one had ever held a candle to what Trevor made her feel.
She should have pulled away, but instead her eyes drifted shut, waiting for and wanting the brush of his mouth against hers. She could feel his breath, warm and minty across her lips, but there was nothing more. After a moment, she opened her eyes. As soon as she did, Trevor pulled away. He lifted his finger from her skin and she almost leaned forward to chase his touch. But the moment was over and she knew it was insanity to try to reclaim it.
Trevor cleared his throat, paced a few steps away from her—a safe distance—then turned. “Grace’s nana died about six months before we moved to Colorado. My grandmother’s family had lived in Oklahoma for four generations, and that was her home. But with her gone, I wanted to make a fresh start for Grace and me. I needed a place that didn’t hold so many memories. Now I see that moving a preteen girl over eight hundred miles from the only home she knew might not have been my smartest move. Grace desperately wants a woman in her life. Apparently I’m not the best person to talk to about teenage-girl stuff.”
“I can imagine.” Sam forced a smile, gathering her hair to refasten her ponytail. “I guess you’re hired then.” Her stomach rolled at the thought of being so close to Trevor, but she was going to have to get used to it. For Grace’s sake. “I have a caretaker who lives on property. Normally the rest of the staff doesn’t arrive until a few weeks before the first camp is scheduled to begin.”
“Why do I hear a but in that sentence?”
She nodded. “But my friend Kendall is supposed to get married up here next month. Invitations have gone out, and I can’t host a wedding without a kitchen.”
“I’ll have it done,” he said simply.
“There’s water damage from the snow in one of the sleeping cabins.”
“I’ll take care of it.”
“You haven’t seen it.” She’d been on the phone with three different contractors that morning. The whole area had been hit hard by last week’s storm, so everyone was overbooked. When she’d explained the extent of her damage, she’d gotten vague mentions of subcontractor delays and supply backorders. Now Trevor was promising to make everything right without even looking at it. There was no doubt he’d take care of each portion of the project beyond what she even knew she needed. His confidence and certainty about who he was and what he could do annoyed the hell out of her.
She’d never had that, even when she was one of the highest-paid models in the world. She had a habit of second-guessing every
decision. Sam could bluster and bluff through most of life, but inside she was still the insecure girl from small-town Oklahoma worrying whether she’d measure up to expectations.
Now was not the time for doubt. Trevor used to be her safe place, but for so many reasons, that was no longer true. She was still on her own. “You’d better not screw this up.” Yes, aggravation was a better fit than longing.
“Goes both ways, Sam,” he answered, all amusement stripped from his face.
She gave a jerky nod. “Come on. I’ll show you around the rest of the camp.” She walked through the dining hall toward the front door, Trevor following a few paces behind her. “David, the caretaker, ran down to Denver with his wife to pick up new bedding. He should be back soon. They live on property during the winter but had gone to visit their daughter in Fort Collins when the storm hit. That’s why it took a few days to realize the extent of the damage. He’ll be the one you deal with the most.”
He muttered something that sounded like “thank God” under his breath, but she ignored him. This arrangement was about getting her camp back to normal and spending time with Grace. She would ignore everything else but those two goals.
CHAPTER FOUR
“You had a twin sister?”
“Who had a baby with your boyfriend?”
“And you didn’t know it?”
Sam dipped a carrot into the bowl of hummus in the middle of the table and took a bite. It was the lunch rush at a popular Denver restaurant, and all around them conversation swirled. Her three girlfriends stared at her while she chewed, as if they were alone in the space.
She’d met Kendall Clark—soon to be Kendall Bishop—and Chloe Daniels—who was now Chloe Haddox—a year after moving to Denver. The three had bonded over their shared bad luck with men. For the first time in her adult life, Sam had discovered women who supported her as the person she was trying to become.
Now Kendall and Chloe had both found love, and they’d added Jenny Castelli to their close-knit group. Jenny had grown up with Kendall’s fiancé, Ty Bishop, and was the most similar to Sam as far as how much she liked to run her mouth. She could dish out blunt comments like it was her job, which was why Sam knew she’d really shocked all three of them. Even Jenny didn’t have a quick comeback to her abbreviated explanation of the situation.
“That about sums it up,” Sam said after swallowing.
After introducing Trevor to David Henderson, the man who acted as her property manager and caretaker for Bryce Hollow Camp, Sam had made an excuse about a meeting in Denver. She’d needed to get away from Trevor and the loop-de-loops her stomach did each time she thought about their arrangement.
She’d made it about a mile from camp before pulling over to the shoulder of the two-lane highway and bursting into loud, sloppy sobs. She didn’t normally cry, but it was all too much—the storm damage at camp, Bryce’s betrayal, Trevor’s animosity, and the responsibility she already felt toward Grace. Pride drove her to handle whatever life demanded but she felt herself sinking under the weight of so much pressure.
Wrung out from her crying jag, she’d punched in a text to her friends and asked them to meet her for lunch. Sam was more comfortable giving support than receiving it, but this was one situation she couldn’t manage on her own.
“How could she keep something like that from you?” Kendall asked, her big green eyes wide with disbelief. Kendall was the anchor for a popular morning news program in Denver and looked polished in her taupe skirt and fitted silk blouse with a delicate strand of pearls around her neck. She also looked more content than Sam could remember seeing her. Taking control of her life and finding love was a good combination for her friend.
“Bryce and I didn’t speak for a couple of years before her death,” she admitted. “We had a big fight at my mother’s funeral and between my travel schedule and her issues, things were rough between us.”
“Oh, sweetie,” Chloe said gently, leaning over to wrap an arm around Sam’s shoulder. “That must have been so hard for you.”
“Hold on, Mother Hen.” Jenny pointed a finger at Chloe, who was the most nurturing of the group. “Before you engulf her in sympathetic hugs and kisses, we need to start at the beginning.”
“There’s nothing wrong with hugs,” Chloe protested, squeezing Sam’s shoulder.
“Agreed,” Jenny answered. “But if you get her going with the waterworks, we’ll never hear the whole story, and I need all the details to offer my best advice.”
Sam rolled her eyes. “I don’t ‘get going with the waterworks.’ I’m not a crier.”
“Right.” Jenny sniffed. “No doubt your eyes are red and puffy from allergies.”
“It is a high pollution day,” Kendall added.
Sam laughed despite herself. “I’m not going to admit Jenny’s right because then she’ll be even more intolerable.”
“You don’t have to admit it,” Jenny fired back. “We all know it’s true. I don’t know how the three of you accomplished anything other than eating and drinking before I took you on.”
“Another good point.” Sam reached for another carrot then narrowed her eyes when Jenny pulled away the bowl of hummus. “Hey, it’s healthy.”
Jenny flashed a dismissive smile. “Everything you eat is healthy. I’m holding the chickpeas hostage until you talk. Tell us about the twin sister.” Her smile widened. “Start at the moment of conception.”
“Um, no thanks.” Sam grimaced even though she appreciated Jenny’s attempt to lighten the mood. It made the choke hold on her lungs loosen, allowing her to breathe enough to actually process the memories invading her mind. “Bryce and I were inseparable as kids. Our dad was never in the picture and Mom had issues—drinking, bad choices in men, trouble holding down a job. I know she loved us.” She laughed then amended, “She loved us in her own way, but that way stripped all the fun out of dysfunctional. Bryce and I were a team. We didn’t even have to speak. It seemed like I knew what she was thinking as soon as a thought popped into her head.”
“I always wanted a sister,” Kendall murmured.
Sam nodded. “We kept each other sane in that small town. Just after we hit puberty, both of us sprouted up to our adult height. It made us stand out and Mom didn’t like it. We got a lot of attention, and neither of us knew how to handle it.” She pressed her lips together when they started to tremble, took a breath, and spoke again. “We were fifteen when we met Trevor. Some kids were making fun of us at the local pool. He’d just moved to town to live with his nana because his parents were some sort of traveling missionaries. He wouldn’t really talk about them, but I know things weren’t great until his grandma took him in. That first day he stood up for us. He pushed one of the loudest bullies into the deep end. There was a fight and . . . anyone who wanted to mess with us after that had to go through him.”
Chloe nodded. “Your hero.”
It had seemed that simple at the time. “I thought so. He handed me a lukewarm orange soda and told me a dumb joke when he thought I was going to cry. I was a goner. Now I think he was just an angry teenage boy who liked to use his fists to solve problems.”
At least that’s what she told herself because when she thought back to that summer, her heart still wanted to skip a beat. No one other than Bryce had ever stuck up for her before Trevor. “The three of us hung out all the time. But Trevor and I . . . it was different. He was the first thing in our lives that Bryce didn’t control, and it started the crack that eventually became a huge gap between us.”
“Men are the root of all problems,” Jenny offered, dipping a carrot into the hummus.
“Why do you get to eat and I don’t?”
Jenny pointed a carrot at her. “Keep talking and you’ll earn your veggies.”
Sam dug her fingernails into her palms as the memories evoked emotions she would have rather left in her past. “Bryce hated when I spent time with Trevor on my own. At first, I thought it was because she wanted a boyfriend, but it had more to do with
her possessiveness of me. In high school she hung out with a wild crowd. The only way I could stop her was to give her all of my attention. I was worried about her, and I resented it. Even Mom noticed the changes.”
“Did she step in?” Chloe asked.
Sam shook her head. “Only to lecture me on my responsibility to my sister. Bryce wasn’t spoiled, but she knew how to work Mom.” Her jaw clenched. “And me and apparently Trevor, too. She worked all of us. We were sophomores when the modeling agent from Tulsa scouted us in a mall outside of town.” She gave a sad laugh. “If we hadn’t been there that day, who knows what would have happened?”
“You’re kidding, right?” Jenny dipped another carrot. “Have you looked in the mirror lately? If it wasn’t the mall, it would have been the grocery store or the gas station or walking down the street.”
Sam had heard similar comments, but when she looked in the mirror she saw the person she was—or had been—on the inside. Only the mistakes she’d made in life stared back at her.
Her friends had become her family, and they were lovely. Jenny was a tiny bundle of energy with cascading red wavy hair, an upturned nose, and big hazel eyes. Chloe’s dark curls were the perfect complement to her milky skin, and Kendall was the quintessential girl next door with her shiny hair and dewy complexion. But what made each of them truly beautiful were their unique spirits. Even at the top of her game, Sam had wanted to be more than a pretty face. For years, she’d let guilt and circumstance rob her of that.
“You and Bryce got into modeling together?” Kendall took a sip of water as Sam wrapped her fingers around her mug of green tea.
“We started in fashion shows around the area. Bryce hated it from the beginning and skipped out on several bookings. Trevor was the one who’d drive over to Tulsa or down to Oklahoma City with me. Within six months a New York agency came calling. Peter Colefield has been my agent since the beginning. He booked us for jobs in Europe the summer between junior and senior year, which is how a lot of models get their start. Bryce wanted to turn down the work and hang by the pool all summer.” A wistful smile crossed her lips at the memory. “She hated to fly, and big cities made her nervous, but I convinced her to say yes.”
Tell Me Again Page 4
