Snow closed his eyes and frowned. “I do not deserve such a sacrifice. I have seen the way you watch Javier with Lilah, and even Callum when he speaks with Kristina on his phone. I know you long for something good, warm and female in your life. Sera can be that woman for you. She can help heal your past and give you a future.”
“Without you... that’s what you are saying, is it not?” Antoine snapped and Snow’s frown hardened. Antoine grabbed his brother’s shoulders and shook him, intent on forcing him to open his eyes and look at him. He wanted to see the answer in his brother’s eyes. They opened and met his, the terrible longing for death shining in them. “I will not let that happen, so get it out of your damn stubborn mind!”
Snow smiled, a bare tilting of the corners of his lips. “A man can hope. It has been centuries, Antoine, and I am not getting better.”
“You are. You say I am too lost in my own pity to see when I am on to a good thing, that I want to cast aside all hope of finding someone who truly loves me and who will remain at my side forever... you are lost too, Brother. You are so convinced that your bloodlust is unbeatable that you do not see the progress you have made.” Antoine loosened his grip on Snow’s shoulders and raised one hand to his cheek, keeping his brother’s attention on him so he could see the honesty in his eyes as well as feel the truth in his blood. “You brought yourself back the other night. Lilah soothed you and you did not wish to hurt Sera. You care about them and that stopped you from hurting them. I had the same sort of experience. I bit Sera and I found I could control myself. I stopped myself because I care about her and I did not want to hurt her.”
Snow’s smile widened. “So you admit that you do care about her?”
Antoine sighed and nodded. He should have known Snow would be able to draw the truth out of him one way or another.
“I do. Deeply. But that only gives me more reason to keep my distance.”
Snow’s face fell and he shook his head. “No, it gives you reason to move closer to her, not further away. I do have more awareness and control in the presence of the females. You are right. I know what Lilah means to Javier, and what Sera means to you, and I have no desire to hurt those I love. Not again.”
Antoine slid his hand to the nape of Snow’s neck and firmly held it. “I know. It is the strength of your emotions that gives you some control over the bloodlust. In time, we will wean you off your blood addiction and you will be well again. We will find a way to satisfy it and keep it under control. You seem well tonight and I am glad.”
“I fed on waking, the same smaller quantity that I have been taking for the past few days now, and it seems to be working. The bloodlust has deemed me worthy of some time as a sane person.”
It was said so lightly but Antoine could sense his brother’s pain and the underlying fear. He knew in his heart that Snow didn’t want to die, just as he didn’t want to live cooped up in his room, shut away from the world. He did such things because he was afraid that the darkness would seize him and he would end up hurting those he loved again. Antoine couldn’t imagine what his brother felt as he sat alone in his room, unable to be with those he cared about because he might lose control, living each night with the past hanging over his head.
“Antoine.” There was a note of caution in Snow’s tone that drew a frown from Antoine. Snow glanced away and sighed. “Sera is good for you. Never forget that.”
He didn’t intend to, but why was Snow so insistent on him remembering that Sera was worthy of his affection and devotion.
“Snow?” Antoine’s frown intensified. “What aren’t you telling me?”
Snow closed his eyes. “Anya came to the theatre.”
Antoine sat bolt upright. “What? When?”
He blinked rapidly, unsure whether he truly wanted the answers to those questions. He hadn’t seen Anya in centuries. He had forgotten so much about her. He couldn’t recall the colour of her eyes, or her face, or the smell of her. His mind and his heart were full of Sera now. Sera’s beautiful smile as she made him laugh, her forest green eyes as they twinkled at him after they had made love, and the way her ash blonde hair smelt as he slept close to her, snuggled up against her back with his arms tightly wrapped around her.
Snow slowly opened his eyes and fixed him with a hard look. “Keep hold of those feelings, Antoine. Do not be deceived again. Sera is good for you. I can feel it in you. You are a different person now. You are happier than I have ever seen you.”
“When, Snow?”
“She came to the performance that you missed to be with Sera. I am glad you were not there. Anya does not deserve to see you again... remember that. She is not worthy of you.”
Antoine appreciated his brother’s support but he was talking about Anya, the woman he had spent a century with, and had searched for after that.
After she had left him and filled his mind with a need to find her, a need that had made him blind to what Snow had been going through.
“I did not want to tell you,” Snow said and Antoine nodded, understanding why his brother had wanted to keep this from him.
Snow liked Sera, and so did Antoine. All these years, he had thought that when he found Anya again, he would want to rush out and see her, would want to be with her regardless of what was happening in his life at the time.
He felt none of those desires as he sat beside his brother, trying to take in the fact that Anya was back. Snow was right. Sera was good for him, and she was better than Anya. She was everything he needed now, and forever. He was glad that Snow had gone against his instincts and told him that Anya was in the city. It unnerved Antoine that she was so nearby and that she had come to the theatre, but at least he could prepare himself in case she returned. Did she know it was his theatre?
Anya had always moved in the highest circles of society. Everyone knew who the owners of Vampirerotique were. Was it just coincidence that she had attended a performance then or had she come looking for him?
Antoine didn’t care either way.
It was too late for her to come crawling back to him. He had finally moved on and would allow nothing to jeopardise what he had with Sera. His feelings for her were so much deeper than his for Anya had ever been. If Sera left him, he wouldn’t go searching for her.
He would die.
What if he saw Anya though? He didn’t feel a desire to rush out and find her, but what if she came to his theatre and approached him? He felt sure that his feelings for her were long dead, but a fragment of his heart was still uncertain. He wasn’t sure how he would react if he saw her again.
Part of Antoine needed to see Sera, wanted to touch her and kiss her and chase away his lingering doubts by losing himself in her, but he wouldn’t leave his brother. Snow needed the company.
“You will listen to your heart, Brother?” Snow stared at him, pale icy eyes dark and intense, as though he wouldn’t accept anything other than a positive answer to his question.
Antoine nodded. “I will. Come, let us speak about better things.”
“You have met the new males?” Snow said and Antoine was thankful for the change of subject.
He nodded again and told his brother about the two new vampires they would welcome into their ranks tonight, and talked about life at the theatre and how crazy the females had made the place. Positive things that chased the darkness from Snow’s mind and gave him peace, and erased the shadow of Anya from his own mind. He lost track of time as they talked and he endured Snow’s lectures about Sera and not running from his feelings, not flinching when Snow cut close to the bone with his comments and observations, and his pressing him to remain with her and give her a chance. When he glanced at the small digital clock on Snow’s bedside table, it was close to midnight.
“Will you attend tonight?” Antoine said, hopeful that his brother would come down from his room to socialise with the others. Snow needed more than just his company. He needed to see with his own eyes that he could function in society still and that he didn’t need to fear
that his bloodlust would slip its tethers and place everyone in danger. “I am sure that everyone would like to see you, and you can continue lecturing me, or perhaps Sera. She would probably enjoy hearing all of my sordid secrets.”
Snow grinned to reveal slightly extended canines, his pale eyes lighting up at the prospect of embarrassing him. “I could tell her that you wet the bed until you were in your thirties.”
Antoine frowned. “We both know that thirty for a pureblood is like a human toddler. You would be giving her misinformation.”
“It would still be funny to see her face.” Snow shrugged his broad shoulders, his grin holding. He picked up his book from the bedside table and waved towards the door. “Go, spend some time with your female and leave me to my book.”
Antoine rose, settled one knee on the bed and cupped the nape of his brother’s neck. He leaned over Snow and pressed a kiss to his forehead.
“Get some rest and think about coming down to the party when it starts. Even a short time would be good for you.” He rested his forehead against Snow’s. “I will find a way to bring you peace, Brother, so hold on. Promise me you will hold on. I cannot lose you.”
Snow wrapped one strong arm around him, cradling the back of his head, and pressed their foreheads harder together.
“You drive a hard bargain, Antoine. I will not give in because I know it would hurt you. I will keep fighting it. I promise.”
Antoine placed another brief kiss on his brother’s forehead and then released him and turned away in one swift movement so Snow didn’t see the tears in his eyes. He cursed them and scrubbed them away with the heel of his right hand as he headed for the door. He wouldn’t fail his brother. There was a way to defeat bloodlust and he would find it before it was too late and he lost the person he loved the most in his dark world.
He closed the door behind him and crossed the hall to his own door. He paused with his hand on the brass knob and leaned against the doorframe, battling his emotions as they threatened to overwhelm him. He wouldn’t lose his brother. He had sworn to do all in his power to save him and he would.
The door opened and Sera was there, her eyebrows furrowed and concern shining in her beautiful green eyes. She raised her arms, opening them to him, and he bit his lower lip, fighting back the tears. He stepped into her arms and gave up his own fight. Sera wrapped him in her soft embrace, pressing kisses to his cheek and neck, whispering comforting words as he nestled his face against the crook of her neck.
Snow was right.
Sera wasn’t something he should be turning his back on. She was something beautiful, magical, more wonderful than Anya had ever been, and he should be holding her closer, letting her into his heart. She gave him happiness and laughter. She gave him peace and love. She was his light that chased away the darkness.
He couldn’t let her go.
Not now. Not ever.
She had changed him and he would never be the same. She had breathed life back into him and given him hope that a future with her would be one free of bloodlust, full of happiness and love.
He would never walk away from her.
He prayed she would never walk away from him.
CHAPTER 14
Sera felt more than a little self-conscious in the black cocktail dress that she had borrowed from Lilah. The slender brunette stood beside her, chatting animatedly to her lover, Javier, who was apparently her sire too. Lilah had told her the whole amazing story behind their coming together while they had been getting ready in her apartment. Sera had to admit that she was new enough to the vampire world that she hadn’t heard about owned humans. She was glad that Elizabeth had chosen to bring her into her world as a vampire rather than a human slave though.
Javier had been charming during the brief moments he had appeared at the apartment, making sure she felt comfortable being in his and Lilah’s home and wanted for nothing. Their apartment was a contrast to Antoine and Snow’s. Javier’s was shades of blue and paler tones, brighter and less dreary than the colours the two aristocrat vampires had chosen for their own apartments. She had even met Javier’s younger brother, Andreu, although he hadn’t stayed long. He had been eager to head down to the party they were holding to welcome him and another elite vampire called Payne.
When Antoine had returned from his brother’s room and come to her, her heart had ached for him. There had been so much pain in his blood and his eyes. He had been so desperate to kiss her and hold her, and she had given in to him, knowing that he needed comfort and wanting to give it to him any way that she could. Antoine had told her that she looked beautiful when he had pulled away from her long enough to see her completed transformation. His gaze had lingered on the long elegant black dress, specifically the plunging neckline that revealed his marks on her throat and cleavage that she had needed a little help to attain. Lilah didn’t have a problem filling out her own deep emerald dress. The woman was blessed and a few of the men in the large brightly lit room had noticed, although all of them had looked away when threatened with a growl by Javier.
Sera tried to focus on the conversation but she couldn’t get her mind off Antoine or what had happened in his apartment just minutes before they had come down to the party. She blushed each time she replayed it in her head. He had been rough with her, as though he couldn’t control himself and his need for her. He had torn away her panties, lifted her and pinned her against the wall, taking her hard and fast, kissing her until she had felt dizzy and lost. What had awoken such a primal need for a connection in him? She knew in her heart that he had been seeking comfort, relief from whatever dark thoughts were plaguing him. She had enjoyed their wild moment, had experienced the most incredible orgasm, and the fierce way that Antoine had sunk his fangs into her throat and climaxed had left her feeling as though he had been staking a claim on her. She couldn’t shake the questions filling her mind though. What had driven Antoine to such desperation?
He had mentioned his brother but something in his eyes and their joined blood said it was more than that. There was something he wasn’t telling her.
Payne muttered about blood under his breath as he stalked past, his dark air that of a man on a mission. Javier had introduced her to the handsome blond elite and he hadn’t said much other than a handful of rehearsed pleasantries. The moment the conversation had ebbed, he had made his excuses and left. She hadn’t seen him speak to anyone other than Callum after that. Whenever she caught sight of him, he was alone. Callum had made his excuses too and Lilah had positively bubbled with excitement for him and Kristina, pressing him to relay her happiness for them to the female werewolf.
Sera ducked closer to Lilah when Victor glanced her way. She didn’t want him to see her. He went back to speaking to a group of women, his grin wide as he towered over them, muscles stretching the suit he wore. He must have purchased a size too small because he looked as though he was about to tear the material when he moved to sling his arm around one of the women. She erupted into a giggling fit. Sera rolled her eyes and moved on, her thoughts stuck on the word Payne had grumbled.
Blood.
She was parched.
A quick scan of the busy room didn’t reveal any sign of someone handing out blood. No one was holding glasses either. What sort of vampire party happened without some refreshments on offer? Maybe they would come later. She pushed away her hunger and looked for Antoine instead.
After he had led her down the stairs with her arm looped around his and his hand holding hers against his forearm, and had introduced her to a few people so she felt comfortable, he had begun to circulate. At the time, she’d had no interest in tottering around the room on the heels Lilah had lent her so she had remained with the pretty young vampire and her doting mate. Now she wished she had gone with him. She hadn’t expected him to be away from her for so long and she wanted to know that he was okay.
Her gaze caught on someone as they entered and she smiled.
Snow strolled across the room, his movements casual even t
hough he radiated caution that caused everyone in his path to move out of his way. His mouth quirked into a smile when he spotted her and he changed course, heading towards her and the others where they stood near one of the black walls.
He was taller than she remembered when he came to a halt beside her, his immense frame overshadowing her. Even Javier and Andreu looked small compared with him.
Sera’s smile widened. “You know, I think this is the first time I’ve seen you fully dressed.”
She raked her gaze over him, taking in the crisp black trousers and the gunmetal grey shirt he had paired with them. The clothes were tailored for him, fitting his broad body perfectly and accentuating his build with devastating effect. A few of the females passing by glanced his way, eyes showing a flicker of interest as well as fear. Sera felt it too. Snow was handsome in a feral sort of way, a man who radiated danger at a strength that would turn most women away from him. It would take a strong woman to seize this man’s heart and keep hold of it.
Lilah giggled, her golden eyes bright with it. “I think it’s a first for me too.”
Javier growled and his grip on Lilah’s waist tightened, drawing her into his body. Sera smiled at how protective he was of his mate, and jealous too.
“You look good,” she said to Snow and he shrugged, clearly uncomfortable with her praising him.
“You should look in the mirror,” he said, voice low and rough, almost a growl of appreciation. “Has my brother seen you in that dress?”
She nodded and twirled for him, blushing from the memories of her heated moment with Antoine in his room and the feel of Snow’s gaze on her. “He has.”
“And he still managed to drag himself away to play the host?” Snow grinned and shook his head. “My brother needs to reassess his priorities. If you were my female, I would not let you out of my reach... like Javier with Lilah.”
Javier frowned and loosened his grip a little. “You are in a good mood tonight, Snow.”
Seduce (Vampire Erotic Theatre Romance Series #3) Page 15
