Rick Cantelli, P.I. (Rick Cantelli, P.I. Detectives Book 1)

by Bernard DeLeo

  I nearly dropped my beer. “Fifty thousand? She could get the Secret Service to protect her for that kind of money. I know some of these little starlets have a bundle of cash lying around ready to throw away, but man… fifty thou… good mornin’ mama. What the hell do I have to do for that chunk of change?”

  Lois was grinning. One thing her and I have in common: we like the money end of a lucrative gig. My face, ribs, and back felt and looked a hell of a lot better. I felt nearly normal. It didn’t seem like she was joking about this, so what the hell. As long as I don’t have to dress in a clown suit, I don’t care.

  “Don’t you want to know who it is?”

  “Hell… for fifty thousand, I’d even look after a Kardashian.”

  “Even Temple Donavan?”

  That rocked me. Temple was no two bit flash in the pan. She made a fortune doing that hit movie franchise for kids where she played some kind of Nancy Drew youth detective, and sang. Every tweenie in the world had her poster on their wall. Fifty thousand was indeed chump change to her. Lois mentioned it like something I’d be repulsed by because she wasn’t sister Karen type famous. She was ‘Harry Potter’ type famous. Anyone hanging around with her would be under a media microscope the likes of which the afore mentioned Kardashians would murder for. I leaned back sipping my beer once again. I knew by Lois’s toned down attitude, she wasn’t going to force me into it.

  “Five events and then Grandpa Cantelli disappears from view for a month. It would be like I’d never done it.”

  “That’s what I’m talkin’ about, Rick.” Lois patted my beer holding hand. “Once you’re out of Temple’s aura, you’d be swallowed completely in anonymity darkness before the next sunrise. She seems like a good kid too. Don’t ask me what her obsession is with you. Her publicist called me. Our firm received five thousand for my meeting with her. She’s not claiming to be stalked, looking for a news byte, or having a grandfather fetish attack. Temple admitted the media coverage of you over the last few months has captivated her. She reads everything about you. Maybe ‘The Bodyguard’ is her favorite movie and she wants one of her very own.”

  Stranger things have happened lately: shootings, girlfriend sellouts, drug busts, murderer apprehensions, and even movie star gigs. Five public events with a famous teenager seemed pretty tame, especially one who didn’t have a con or hidden agenda. Maybe it was just like Lois said. Temple wanted her very own Kevin Costner to follow her around, and she was ignoring the fact she could buy an army of young ones with plenty of combat experience. She probably already had an army of them.

  “This is a strange one, Lo. I see why it’s getting your juices flowing. You want to bait the hook with the Cantelli worm to satisfy your curiosity about why in the wide, wide world would someone like Temple Donavan pick a used up old reprobate like me for an escort gig, right?”

  Lois cackled inappropriately. “Hell yeah, I want to know. I nearly interrogated her, trying to find out why with all the young studs she had guarding that estate of hers in Del Mar, she would pick your name out of a hat. She has nothing to do with her parents anymore. They tried to steal her blind, but the movie conglomerate backing her franchise made certain they got nothing but a small stipend. Last year, they tried to take her to court to get millions, but her lawyers ate them alive. When she turned eighteen last month, she took over all the reins of her finances, and from what I’ve found out, Temple is very good at it. Can I make the date for you?”

  “I don’t see any downside. You’ll be going with me though.”

  “I can’t.” Lois shrugged with obvious annoyance. “I tried playing every card in the deck to have me present, but she wouldn’t play. She kept smiling and saying I want to meet Mr. Cantelli alone.”

  “At least she called me Mr. Cantelli. Want me to wear a wire?”

  “It might be a good time to use our new setup.”

  “I’m all for it. I don’t want to get into a closed room with her only to find out she’s ape shit crazy.”

  Lois laughed, nodding her head. “That is always a fear with make believe people. Besides, this will make Karen mental.”

  Naturally, that would be part of the Lois agenda. The Sisterhood of Strange kept going in weirder and weirder directions. They got along as partners in the restaurant, and on Casablanca nights, but always between them drifted a goofy benevolent animosity. Karen knew what Lois was capable of, so her small pokes at my partner were pretty low key.

  “I figured that angle would be in there somewhere. When the hell are you two going to just act like sisters, and call a halt to these games?”

  “That would be never, Sparky, and she’s a half sister. Just because my idiot Father knocked up a prostitute doesn’t mean I have to embrace his spawn.”

  “Her Mom was not a prostitute. Frank likes her.”

  Lois snorted. “He’s a Hollywood whore. She gave him a Blu-ray set of her old B movies and he gushed like the Queen of England had knighted him. It was disgusting. Frank’s star struck, so I give no credence to any opinions he holds concerning Karen.”

  “Frank likes her because Karen’s a good person. He’s trying to low key a reconciliation on a permanent basis between you two. She doesn’t have a family. Karen even liked the fact she’s a great Aunt, and loves the pictures you show of the girls and the grandbaby.”

  “Yeah… damn it, Rick! Don’t ruin this for me. Seeing you tooling around with Temple is going to make Karen’s head explode.”

  For a moment I thought I had her. “I give up. When did you have in mind for meeting Temple?”

  “Tomorrow morning at eight. I gave her the beach house address. She’s sending a car down to pick you up.”

  So much for my believing I had a choice. “Is the estate one of those gated mansions?”

  Lo shook her head no. “It’s gorgeous inside, but she actually lives in a neighborhood, which probably pisses off the neighbors. The street is Caminito Porta Delgada. She doesn’t have a crew. She doesn’t run around with the usual Hollywood flakes. My sixth sense of her is she doesn’t do drugs either. The parents don’t have an extended family. They emigrated from Brazil, surname Marcello. Her real name is Mayara, and parents Victor and Maria. She changed her name to her stage name legally the moment she turned eighteen. I put the file in your inbox.”

  “Boyfriends?”

  “Couldn’t confirm any other than what the tabloids put out. She’s dated around with the boy actors she’s starred with for publicity, but nothing serious. I like her, and I can’t say that about anyone in her age group I can think of. Even Shelly’s brats I just tolerate for office get-togethers. I actually enjoyed meeting this kid. Don’t forget to check out her security system. We may be able to sell her one of our systems if hers isn’t all it can be.”

  Business is business. I get to be a door to door salesman too. Oh goody.

  “I see that look. I ain’t telling you to sell it if she has a state of the art system already. We’re trying to save lives here.”

  I went back to sipping my beer. “It sounds more like you’re selling me. Of course, I’ll take a look around, but you know how these Hollywood people think. They believe we’ll trip in there with secret cameras and microphones to gather celebrity grist for sale to the rabid media mill… and for good reason too. We’ll talk after the meeting.”

  Lois eased out of her chair and folded it. “I’ll be around. FaceTime me when you get clear. The five thousand meeting money has made it possible for me to take the rest of the day off. Don’t pour anymore beer down your gullet. You have a show to do tonight. I want my Bogey in top form for our patrons. At least now we have a couple guards out there on Casablanca night to make sure we don’t get another goon squad attack.”

  “What should I wear, the suit or leather for the Temple meet?”

  “Black leather, Sparky. The kids all like the dark brooding look. See ya’ later, Rick.”

  “Hey, have you heard anything about Stacy?”

  Lois whipped around li
ke a mongoose to streak back into my face. “If you think for a moment I won’t jet out to the car and get my Taser, go ahead and repeat that question.”

  Oh, that was so good. “I wouldn’t think of it, Lo.”

  “One of these days, Cantelli… one of these days.”

  Chapter 14: New Hire

  I arrived for the workout session in Jadie’s class early so I could get stretched out. Swimming and beer drinking was going to make me a little on the slow side tonight. After the revelation of fiction by Lois, I’d been stripped of my front of the class position for being an imaginary pervert. That would work in my favor. I said hi to all the familiar arriving faces. Nearly all were women in the twenty to fifty age range. As a geezer, I didn’t have to worry about appearances, but I’d recovered from my prior adventures well, and the suntan didn’t hurt. I lather on the sun-block, but if you spend all day in the sun, you’ll get dark anyway.

  I have an outgoing personality, so when the women young or old want to talk to the geezer, I’m always willing. Thankfully, they skirt the obvious subjects like shootings, bar fights, incarceration, and killings. They mostly talk about the day, the weather, and about whether our class Hollywood star would show. I’m funny too. I have a million self deprecating jokes. My punch-line delivery is second to none. The restful two weeks had fixed me, and I was in fine form. I spotted Jadie on the fringes of my little group, dressed in her skin tight below the bellybutton black spandex bottoms, and tight red top.

  A brown haired, twenty something secretary named Bridget tugged on my wrist with her face slanted in a coquettish manner. “Were you really in the Seals in Vietnam? You don’t look that old.”

  So much for the weather questions. “I’m only a month short of sixty, kid. Yes, I was in the Seals toward the end of Vietnam.”

  Bridget and the rest giggled when I called her kid. “How long were you in the Seals?”

  “Ten years. That’s old news. Anyone here know about Temple Donavan?”

  “The movie star?” Bridget asked.

  “Yeah, I hear she’s a pretty nice young lady. I wondered if all of you shared that opinion.”

  “Well… sure,” Bridget said. “I think she’s sweet, and she sings really well.”

  There was a chorus of agreement so I nodded and let the subject drop. Lois and Shelly arrived soon after, greeting their fellow masochists. Jadie walked over as the group drifted apart, preparing for class.

  “Hi Shelly, Lois, and pervert. Everyone ready for a workout tonight?”

  Lois cackled of course, but Shelly kept her greeting to a simple hi. Jadie faced off with me when I didn’t say anything. “I need to talk with you for a moment. There’s still five minutes until class starts.”

  “Sure.” I followed her off to the side of the room. This was getting curious. She already called me a pervert. I didn’t figure she was flirting. Boy, was I wrong.

  Jadie looked around before going on. “Lois told me what you did with Stacy.”

  I remained silent. What was the use of answering Lois’s fictional accusations? If Jadie actually believed whatever it was, then my standing here denying it would be stupid. When I didn’t answer, Jadie moved closer.

  “Why didn’t you tell me? I would do it for you in anytime. I thought it was gross when Lois told me, but the more I thought about it, the more turned on I got. I’m not shy. Maybe it was picturing Stacy doing it for you that turned me off at first.”

  Okay, this has gone too far now. I’m not sure what the fictional act was, but this was getting weird. “Jadie. You’ve been had. I don’t know what Lois told you we did, but I doubt if it ever happened. If it did, Lois wouldn’t know about it. Think it through. Stacy wouldn’t have told her, and I don’t tell the harpy anything. I appreciate you volunteering, but the truth is I have no idea what it was I supposedly did with Stacy, and neither does Stacy. Lois was trying to boink me with all of you because she caught me with Stacy.

  Jadie gasped and blushed. She grabbed my arm. “Please don’t ask Lois what it was… please. I’m really sorry, Rick.”

  “You have my word. Don’t give it another thought. Lois gets nuts sometimes, especially when Stacy is involved.”

  “Lois is starting to drive me crazy.”

  Jadie walked away, shaking her head. I have to admit some curiosity, but I would not break my word. I think Lois might get the cold shoulder from Jadie, which was bad for business, but it was something that should pass. I walked back over with Lois and Shelly.

  “What was that all about? Jadie’s face looked liked a ripe tomato.”

  “I’m not telling you, harpy, but you’re the cause of it.”

  Lois again cackled inappropriately, because she loved being the cause of any human misery. Shelly looked from me to Lois in confusion. “I’ll make Jadie tell me.”

  “I doubt it, Lo. You need to leave her alone before you sabotage our business venture with your goofball antics.”

  “Yeah, you’re probably right about that, Sparky.” Lois sighed. “Hey, there’s our star, Sister Slut.”

  “Damn it, Lo, you will blow this restaurant gig if you don’t pull in the claws. Karen is smiling tonight. Let’s keep it that way. No more getting on her about working out back here with us instead of in the front either.”

  “Will you tell her or should I?”

  “It’s not a done deal yet. Karen doesn’t need to be bothered with that anyway. Our security business has nothing to do with Karen. I can see already by the look in Ms. Fontenot’s eyes you’ve told her.”

  “You mean about Temple Donavan?”

  “Yeah, Shelly, Lo thinks it’s cute to keep plucking her sister’s feathers.”

  “Rick’s right, Lo. You’ll just upset Karen for no reason once she finds out he’s babysitting that little tart, Temple.”

  I pointed at the grinning Shelly. She’s been hangin’ with the harpy too much. “Not helping, Shelly.”

  Karen joined us, all smiles. She wore the same outfit as Jadie, because sometimes Jadie would bring Karen to the front for a two person demo about something. After all the workouts, she looked really good in it too. “I feel great tonight. What’d I miss?”

  “Oh nothin’, Sis. Rick’s going to be doing a bodyguard gig with Temple Donavan… that’s all,” Lois explained.

  Karen did not disappoint. She did a double take at Lois, the smile vanished like snow on a ninety degree August day, and her lips tightened until I thought her teeth were in jeopardy. Naturally, I became the object of her wrongheaded reaction.

  “First you enlist that ancient crone in your perverted bathroom games, and now you’re supposedly guarding a child like Temple?” Karen blistered me with the look usually reserved for child molesters and rapists. “My God, Rick, what’s gotten into you?”

  Lois of course was snorting and he-hawing unattractively. Her Igor, Shelly was even chuckling. I unfortunately now knew why Jadie had been so upset. Lois had plummeted to the bottom of harpy hell for this edition of Cantelli payback for non-existent offences.

  “Karen, Lois is messing with you. You’re letting her make you mental for no reason. You should have known she was lying about Stacy the moment she told you that cockamamie story. My being hired by Ms. Donavan is none of your concern. It’s business, and well paid business. You have no input or right to be outraged about it. You came in here in a good mood, and you allowed this cancerous old tumor to ruin it for you.”

  Karen stared at me, saw the truth in my eyes, and turned on Lois. “You’re just mean, Lo!”

  Lois’s ship had ported for the night. She didn’t bother pretending anything. She just howled nonstop until Jadie called class to order with tears streaming down her face. Karen took her position next to me away from Lois, knowing she had no recourse other than to ignore her.

  “I’m really sorry, Rick. It was stupid to believe that puss the old bat was spewing. When will I ever learn?”

  Knowing my partner’s gift for being able to pull off stunts like that, probab
ly never. “It’s a new day, Karen. Learn, and move on. It is a little surprising all three of you fell for that, especially you. We’ve been together. Have I ever hinted at anything like the story Lois told?”

  This time, Karen blushed. “No. You’re right. It was stupid.”

  Jadie started us off with the warm-ups and stretches.

  “Are you really going to look after Ms. Perfect?”

  “I’ll know after I meet with her tomorrow. Lois thinks she’s a good kid. What’s your beef with her?”

  Karen hesitated through a set of jumping jacks before answering. She finally glanced over between sets with a wry smile and shrug. “Jealousy.”

  I gave that a chuckle. “The first step to redemption is admitting your sin.”

  “What’s your sin, Rick?”

  “Too many to tell, so I’ve given up on redemption. I’m banking on divine intervention.”

  Karen laughed, and I saw it draw a frown from the harpy. Karen was breaking yet another commandment ‘Thou shalt not laugh at Cantelli after Lois zings you’. “Jadie is usually over here flirting with you. Didn’t you straighten her out about Lois’s story?”

  Uh oh. Tread carefully through the inquisition Cantelli. “She knows. She didn’t think it was funny either. With all the tales you’ve been sharing with her, I’m surprised between the two of you, that someone didn’t think to question the harpy’s veracity.”

  We started the three pound weight dumbbell in each hand exercises. Mine weighed five because Lois stole my three’s and substituted five’s because I wasn’t breathing hard enough. Mission accomplished, only now, the fives weren’t bothering me anymore either. I keep my fives under lock and key now, so I don’t suddenly find myself working out with tens when Lois gets pissed off again. Karen was paying close attention to Jadie, who had left one of her class leaders demonstrating and leading while she made her rounds.

  “She’s glancing over here, Rick, and turning scarlet. Now, she’s skipping our section. Jadie never skips our station. Did you succumb to her advances finally?”

  “I did not.”